by Devney Perry
“It just keeps getting better,” I murmured into his neck. “How is that possible? Every time I have to redo my top five.”
He leaned back and cocked his head. “Top five?”
I grinned. “Oh, yeah. Top five.” When his eyebrows furrowed, I brought a hand between us and rubbed the crease out. “Don’t worry. They all belong to you.”
His frown turned into a proud smile. “What’s number one?”
“It’s a secret.” I winked. The first time we’d ever been together would always be my number one.
Silas chuckled and pulled out, sitting up and taking me with him. With one skilled maneuver, he reversed our positions so he was on his back and I was lying on his chest. The rain dribbled on the truck’s roof, and the windows were all fogged white.
His hand came up and he stroked my hair while I closed my eyes and relaxed. The early morning, hard work and amazing sex had worn me out.
My clothes were all outside, getting soaked. Should I get up to get them?
Nah.
I’d walk home naked if that meant I got to take a nap on Silas while the rain lulled me to sleep.
Silas
Reaching under the seat, I fished out the flannel blanket I kept in the truck, draping it over Felicity’s bare back.
It wasn’t overly comfortable lying on the bench seat. My legs were at an odd angle, much too long for the tight space, and a seat-belt latch was digging into my side. But with Felicity content and sleepy, I’d be damned if I moved an inch.
“Lis?” I said before she could fall asleep.
She yawned. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For helping me today.”
“Anytime, baby,” she whispered and nuzzled further into my neck. I trailed my hands slowly down her back until her weight settled as she drifted off.
I’d been a dick this week, short and irritable, and I felt bad for taking it out on her. But these nightmares, they were fucking with my head.
Felicity probably assumed it was my time in the army causing my bad dreams. It wasn’t. I had been exposed to extreme violence and intensity, but somehow, I had learned to compartmentalize that time and not let it get to me.
Many others, like Paxon, were not as fortunate. I didn’t envy the way his memories would sneak up on him and thrust him into the past. He had been more forthcoming with me lately. A couple of times this week, he’d confided in me some of the problems he was having coping with his civilian life and I hoped that with a calm home and hard work, he would find a way to quiet his mind.
Those things had helped me. Coming home to Montana had made all the difference in the world and I hadn’t lost sleep because of my military past in years.
My nightmares were from Wes.
Right before Christmas, two years ago, I had been driving along an old country road on the far edge of the ranch and spotted something in the ditch.
Not something. Someone. Wes.
My childhood friend.
Dead.
He had been stabbed brutally and left to bleed out in the snow. His white skin and empty eyes had been in my dreams almost every night this past week. He’d sit up from his icy grave and tell me that Felicity would never be mine. That she’d always love him.
His blue lips would speak my biggest fear.
Felicity would always love Wes more than me. I was competing with a ghost. Men like me didn’t like to come in second place, but I had no chance at beating Wes. Felicity wasn’t over him.
I could read the signs.
In sixteen years, she’d never moved on. She’d had plenty of time to meet someone, get married and have kids. Instead, she’d dated assholes like that douchebag Andrea Merkuso was marrying. She’d dated men with no chance of replacing her love for Wes.
When she’d come home from Seattle, she had said that it was for her family and to be around for her mom, but I didn’t buy it. I think she came back because, now that Wes was gone, this was the only place where she still had a connection to him. Here, she could visit his grave and spend time with his parents.
For Christ’s sake, she kept a picture of them from high school on her mantel. Her house was void of any other photographs except the one of her and Wes. I’d seen that picture months ago and known I’d always just be a second-place contender for her heart.
And as much as all that shit had bothered me, I’d been able to push it down, ignore it and bury it deep. There had been no nightmares until Sabrina had showed up at my door.
Did Felicity recognize that her best friend was the spitting image of Wes?
Sabrina had lighter hair and eyes of a different color, but her face, nose and mouth were the same shape, and she reminded me so much of a younger Wes it was uncanny. Felicity had left us all behind but had made sure to find a Wes replacement to fill his void. How the fuck was I supposed to ignore that?
For the first time ever, I was actually glad she’d stayed gone for sixteen years. Seeing them together in my nightmares was bad enough. If she’d come home and reconnected with Wes, it would have gutted me. I would have re-enlisted and never come back.
But here we were, together. Get over this shit, man.
I had to work this out. Alone.
I wouldn’t tell Felicity about the nightmares, but I would spend more days like today, soaking up the comfort of her presence. Reminding myself over and over that Wes was gone and she was mine.
And that second place was better than no place at all.
“I’ll never get these back on.”
I had just woken up from my nap and Silas had gone outside to fetch my clothes. My shirt was soaked but at least I could pull it on. My jeans were a different story.
“Just wrap up in the blanket and I’ll carry you inside.”
The rain had stopped and I cracked my window to take deep breaths of the clean, sweet air as he drove us home.
“Do you think we’ll hear from Beau soon?” I asked.
Sabrina had been constantly on my mind and I hated that I couldn’t talk to her. I had called her phone a couple of times this week, leaving increasingly frantic fake messages in case anyone from the mafia was monitoring her calls, and each time I’d heard her voicemail recording, my worries had increased.
“I doubt it,” Silas said. “They’ve got supplies for nearly a month. He’ll probably stay up there and make sure she’s set before he comes back.”
“I feel so bad for inconveniencing him but I’m unbelievably grateful at the same time. If he hadn’t offered to do that, I don’t know what we would have done.”
“Don’t feel bad,” he said. “We’ll all do what we can to keep your friend alive.”
It meant so much that everyone had rallied around Sabrina, that they’d do something so risky just for me. “Thank you.” I just hoped that Sabrina wasn’t being too tough on Beau and that when he left her up there alone, she didn’t go crazy. I had sent her with my Kindle but there was only so much she could read before getting restless.
Silas took my hand. “I still can’t believe her story. She’s got talent, that’s for sure.”
“There’s a true statement.”
Sabrina’s story had come out, as promised, the day after she’d left for the outpost. Her writing had been impeccable. Her story crafted to perfection. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought it was a creative-writing piece, not an investigative report.
Setting those worries aside, I changed the subject. “What do you want for dinner?” As we pulled up to the barn, we were still debating options. I was just reaching for my door handle when Silas’s parents emerged from inside with Dolly happily trailing behind.
“Oh, no.” I tucked the blanket around my bare legs and tried to cover up my breasts. My pink satin bra was shining brightly through my see-through white tank.
“Sit tight,” Silas said, rolling down his window as his parents approached the truck.
“Hi, kids,” Olivia said with a smile. Elliot
didn’t say hello, he just stared at Silas.
“Hi,” Silas said. “What are you guys up to?”
“We took the four-wheelers out for a quick drive. It smells so good, I couldn’t stay in the house,” his mom said. “What are you two doing?”
“Just got back from fixing fence down in the lower meadow.”
Elliot’s eyes raked over me and his mouth turned down in distaste. “Right.”
“Dad,” Silas grumbled. “Watch it.”
“Ignore him,” Olivia said. “He’s just mad because I beat him in cribbage twice today. What are you two doing for dinner? I was hoping you’d be free and could come over. I’m making Silas’s favorite, shepherd’s pie.”
Silas looked to me for an answer. “That sounds great,” I told Olivia. “Can we bring anything?”
She shook her head. “Just come on over around six.” The smile on her face was pure, unexpected joy. “Come on, you old grump.” She pulled Elliot away from Silas’s window.
When they were out of sight, Silas hopped out and came to my door, carrying me inside. “Thanks for agreeing to dinner. I know it will make Mom happy.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Considering they live a hundred feet away, we rarely see them.”
I was looking forward to spending more time with Olivia, though I could do without seeing Elliot. Clearly his attitude toward me hadn’t changed and I had a feeling I’d be under scrutiny all through dinner.
Unfortunately, I was right. By the time Olivia served her chocolate sheet cake, I was ready to crawl under the table and stab Elliot in the foot with my fork.
Elliot hadn’t stopped glaring at me since the second I’d crossed the threshold. Olivia had been overly nice and friendly, going above and beyond to make up for her husband’s attitude, but Silas was about five seconds from exploding.
My hand had been attached to his knee beneath the table since we’d taken our seats. If not for his mother and my frequent knee squeezes to reassure him that I was fine, I think he would have dragged me out of there before Olivia had the chance to serve her meal.
“We need to talk about the branding,” Elliot said to Silas. “It’s a month away. Time to start lining up a crew.”
I sighed, glad that we’d finally landed on a topic that didn’t involve me. In two hours, Elliot and Olivia had interrogated me about my life these last sixteen years. Olivia’s questions had been sweet and curious. Elliot’s had been direct and critical.
“I think we’ll have plenty of help,” Silas said. “The Lee brothers confirmed they could come and rope calves with me. Between Paxon and some of the other guys, we’ll have enough wrestlers. You can take the irons, and Gus can vaccinate.”
Rope. Wrestle. Irons. Vaccinate. I made a mental note to ask Silas what all of that meant.
“Good,” Elliot said. “I figured you’d be on top of it. I don’t know what you think, but I’d rather not let Gus rope. No matter what he says, being on a horse is no place for him.”
“Agreed,” Silas said. “If he begs either of us to rope for a while, let’s tell him no. I don’t want him doing something else to stress his back. Vaccinating should be plenty.”
Silas’s leg relaxed. It was nice to see him and his dad agree on something about the ranch. They still had their disagreements, but maybe this was a sign of more cooperative times ahead.
“Have you ever been to a branding before, Felicity?” Olivia asked.
“I haven’t.” I smiled, relaxing too. “I’m looking forward to seeing it.”
“It’s quite a production.”
“What’s she going to do there?” Elliot asked Silas.
And just like that, we were all tense again.
“Whatever she wants,” Silas growled. I pressed down harder on his leg when he started to rise.
“Elliot,” Olivia warned.
“Just wondering if I need to plan on her being in the way,” he grumbled. “You know how it is with people who don’t know what they’re doing. We’ll spend all day making sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”
“I’ll be sure to follow instructions and not get in the way.” My smile was fake. I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t open my mouth and tell him to kiss my ass. My patience was wearing thin, but the last thing we needed was an argument during my first dinner in the Grants’ home.
Don’t let him get to you. I pushed my fork farther away.
Silas glared at his dad and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Felicity will get to do whatever she wants. This is her first branding and I want her to enjoy it. If she wants to stand around and watch, that’s what she’ll do. If she wants to help, we’re all going to teach her what to do. Understand?”
Elliot’s face turned red but before he could respond to Silas’s decree, Olivia jumped in. “Felicity, I could really use your help that morning with all the cooking. We host a big dinner that evening for the crew and their families.”
“I’d love to help. Whatever you need.”
“Great! And would you mind inviting your family? It’s been ages since I’ve seen your mother.”
“I’m sure she’d love to come.”
“Jess usually comes to help every year,” Silas said. “We should have Gigi and the kids come along too. I’ll take Roe for a ride on Lulu.”
My anxiety about the branding instantly settled. Having my family here would give me a safe group to be with while he was working. I wasn’t surprised that Silas had already thought ahead. If he couldn’t be with me all day, buffering my interactions with Elliot, he’d make sure my family was by my side.
I smiled and gratefully leaned into his side. “I’m sure they’d have a great time.”
Turning back to the table, my eyes locked with Elliot’s. His thoughts were transparent.
Sorry, Elliot, but I’m not going anywhere.
No matter what challenge he put in my path.
The next month flew by and the morning of the branding came fast.
“All right, sweetie,” Olivia said. “Looks like the troops are arriving. Let’s get the breakfast pastries and coffee outside.”
“Okay.” I smiled nervously, grabbing a platter of cinnamon rolls.
I was so worked up that my hands were shaking. Over the last month, Silas had explained the process, and though I was excited to see it all firsthand, I still didn’t know what to expect.
Silas and I had been up before five this morning to start preparations. I’d showered and joined Olivia in her kitchen while Silas and Elliot had worked to prepare everything in the corral beside the barn where the branding would take place.
As I was heading outside, a truck and horse trailer pulled through the lot and drove down to the corral. I smiled as they passed me carrying my platter of rolls to the barn, where Olivia and I had set up a nice, long table right outside its doors so the crew could grab pastries and refill coffee cups as they went back and forth to the corral.
Please, let this go well for Silas. He’d told me that branding was one of his favorite things to do every year, and he deserved to have the day go smoothly, to have some fun. His nightmares weren’t as bad but he was still having them occasionally. The stress of the ranch still weighed heavily on his shoulders and things with Elliot were still strained.
He needed a good day.
“We couldn’t have asked for better weather.” Olivia joined me with a huge thermos of coffee.
“It’s beautiful.” I took a few deep breaths of the cool May morning air and looked to the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and the sun was shining brightly. By noon, the chill would be gone and it would be the perfect day for outside work. “What else do we need to do?”
“Nothing right this minute.” Olivia smiled and linked her arm through mine. “Let’s go check on the guys.” We walked along the corral’s fence to where Silas and Elliot were greeting the men from the truck. “Those are the Lee brothers,” she said. “Do you remember them? They are quite a bit older than you.”
I s
hook my head. I’d probably be surrounded by unfamiliar faces all day and couldn’t wait for Mom, Jess and Gigi to arrive.
“Morning,” Olivia called to the men.
They all turned and one of the Lee brothers waved. Olivia released my arm and I joined Silas at his side. With an arm around my shoulders, he introduced me to the twin brothers.
“This is my girlfriend, Felicity Cleary.”
We shook hands and one of the brothers asked, “Cleary. You’re the sheriff’s sister?”
I smiled. “That’s me.”
“Speak of the devil, here he comes now.” Silas nodded toward the barn.
I turned and saw Gigi’s SUV park next to my car. The Cleary gang piled out and, with Rowen skipping wildly at my mom’s side, joined our huddle.
“Aunt Lissy!” Rowen screeched, hugging my legs.
I bent to kiss her nose and then leaned over to hug my mom. “Hi,” I said. “How are you today?”
“I’m great.” She smiled and started visiting with Olivia.
Mom had started the drug trial a month ago, and it seemed to be making a small difference. I had been spending afternoons with her instead of evenings, those being reserved for Silas, and I hadn’t seen her have an episode for almost a month. I had my fingers crossed our lucky streak would continue.
“How’s my big man?” I took Ben from Jess’s arms and kissed his chubby cheeks. “Excited to play outside and get dirty?”
“We might have to hose him off before we go home,” Gigi teased. She was as beautiful as ever this morning, her skin glowing and hair shining. It would be just a couple more months until baby girl Cleary joined our family and I couldn’t wait to meet her.
“Choc,” Ben said.
“In a little bit.” I’d definitely won my nephew over but had created a bit of a chocolate-obsessed monster in the process.
