by Devney Perry
After visiting for a while, Elliot declared that there was work to be done and everyone went their separate ways. Gigi and I went back to the house and sat at an outside table, enjoying a morning coffee while the kids played in the yard. In the background, the cows and calves were bellowing.
“So, Jess tried to explain all of this to me last night but I’m still confused as to what’s exactly going to happen,” Gigi said.
“You and me both. I’ve been asking Silas questions for a month and still can’t picture it.”
Last night, the cattle had all been brought into an arena that adjoined the branding corral. Silas and the Lee brothers would ride in and rope the small calves, pulling them into the branding arena. From there, a crew of wrestlers would hold down the calves while Elliot gave them a brand and Gus vaccinated them against common bovine illnesses.
Gigi smirked. “I can’t wait to see Jess wrestling around in the dirt.”
“Silas said that if I wanted to try, I could. And he promised to teach me how to rope this summer. I guess Olivia used to be one of the best ropers around.”
“Seriously?” Gigi asked. “That’s awesome. I hope you try the wrestling thing. I’ll be sure to take a lot of pictures of you filthy and gross to use against you one day.”
“Gee. Thanks,” I deadpanned.
“Do you think the branding is going to hurt the calves? I really hope not. They’re so cute and happy.”
“Silas says that calves are a lot tougher than we’d expect, and the pain only seems to bother them for a second. He promised me that by the end of the day, they’d all be back to running around and playing with one another in the pasture. Still, I feel bad for the little guys too.”
“Did you know it’s the law to have them branded? Jess told me that, and I thought he was joking. He made me Google it when I didn’t believe him.”
“Well, one thing about today is for certain—it will be educational.”
Hours later, the ranch was packed full of laughing and smiling people. The branding wasn’t just a necessary task but also a chance for neighboring farmers and ranchers to spend time with one another. The fence next to the corral was lined with people watching the crew work in the arena.
My eyes constantly wandered to Silas. He looked so handsome and commanding, as he always did riding Courage. I felt so proud to call him mine, and in twenty years, I wanted to be in this exact place, watching him manage another branding.
The fence line erupted in laughter when one of the bigger calves almost got the best of Jess and Paxon and the duo was sent flying into the dirt, smiling and cursing at the same time. They, along with the other wrestlers, were all filthy but happy.
Silas called for a lunch break and the crew disbursed to grab sandwiches from the table Olivia and I had set up for them. After tying up Courage, Silas sauntered over to me at the fence. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey, yourself. Looking good out there, baby.” I winked
He tipped back his cowboy hat and leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “Having fun?”
“This is amazing. Do you still think I could try to wrestle one of the calves later?”
It wasn’t really wrestling the creatures, just holding down their legs so they didn’t kick when Elliot came over and gave them their brand. I wasn’t known for my upper-body strength, but I could give it a try. There had been other women in the corral today, and seeing them had given me confidence.
Silas grinned and kissed me again. “You bet. Let’s grab a bite to eat first.”
Not long after, I was sitting on the ground, dirty, sweaty and so damn proud of myself. Silas had helped me wrestle three calves while his dad had looked on in disbelief. It hadn’t been easy, my arms were burning and tired, but I hadn’t given up. I’d used all my might and followed his instructions without error.
Silas stood and helped me off the dirt, immediately pulling me into his chest. His mouth came down on mine and quickly swept his tongue inside. Right in the middle of the corral, he kissed me like we were alone in his bedroom.
I kissed him right back. Tongues twisted. Teeth nipped. Lips explored. Neither one of us held anything back.
“That’s my sister!” Jess called from beside us. “Do you mind, Grant?”
He broke away, and we both smiled like silly fools as the crew around us laughed.
“You did awesome, babe,” he said. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
My heart soared with the praise. “I’m proud of me too.”
If not for Elliot glaring at us, it would have been the perfect moment. Whatever. I turned back to Silas and started laughing. “I’m covered in shit. These jeans will never be the same again.”
“Eh,” he said. “It’s just green grass and water.”
“I’d better head inside and you’d better get back to roping.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.” He gave me a quick kiss before I climbed over the fence and crossed the gravel lot toward the main house.
The Grants’ sprawling house was one of the nicest I’d seen in all of the Jamison Valley. Elliot and Olivia’s log home had a wide porch that ran the length of the front. Its first floor was full of windows and the roof had two large dormers cut into the tin.
Inside, the house was full of rich maple and hickory woods. Olivia had decorated with espresso leather and deep-green upholstered furniture that gave the entire place a rustic and woodsy atmosphere. The kitchen was the only room in the house that wasn’t dark and cozy. It was full of cream cabinets, stainless appliances and yellow granite slabs. It didn’t match the rest of the house but somehow it all went together perfectly.
“Hi,” I said to Olivia and Mom, who were standing in the kitchen. “What can I do?” I was eager to learn all about preparing a meal for this many people. I wanted to know everything about being a branding hostess, like Olivia.
Because in twenty years, I wanted to be right here too, working to prepare the celebration meal for a branding that was wasn’t just Silas’s big day. It would be ours together.
The rest of the branding went by in a flash. I worked tirelessly with Olivia to prepare a prime rib and turkey feast for the evening’s big dinner. She might not have been outside in the dirt but Olivia had worked harder than anyone else on the ranch today and she’d made it seem easy.
Not once had she gotten stressed or rushed. She’d moved with grace and efficiency, knowing exactly what to do to prepare a gourmet meal for over forty people. My respect and admiration for Silas’s mom had grown tenfold in one afternoon.
“Phew,” I said when the last person came through the buffet line in the kitchen. “That was insane. You’re amazing.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” Olivia said. “Having your help was a lifesaver.”
Next year, I promised myself I’d do even more to share her load.
“Mom?” Silas called from the front door. “Can you come out here?”
“I’ll go,” I said, touching Olivia’s shoulder. “You should eat and have a big glass of wine. You’ve earned it.”
She smiled. “You know? I think I will.”
I hustled outside. Silas stood at the base of the porch steps, Courage right behind him. “What’s up?”
“Where’s Mom?”
“Inside taking a much-needed break.”
“Oh. I need to get him unsaddled and brushed out. I was hoping she could run down to the corral and grab the vaccines from Dad. They need to go in the fridge.”
I kissed his dusty cheek. “I’ll do it.”
“Lis—”
“I’ll be fine. Your dad and I can’t avoid each other forever. He’s just going to have to get used to me being around.” After dinner a month ago, we hadn’t seen him much but I meant what I’d said. We couldn’t avoid one another forever.
Silas sighed. “I just don’t want him to upset you or wreck your day.”
“Like I said, I’ll be fine. Go and get Courage taken care of and I’ll meet you in the barn. I put our dinner plates in t
he oven so we could eat together.”
“Thanks, babe.” He gave me another quick kiss before we split.
I squared my shoulders and marched to the corral. Please don’t let him be an ass. And if he is, please help me keep my mouth shut.
“Elliot?” I called.
He spun around from the table he was packing up. “What?”
I found my fake smile. “Silas said the vaccines need to be refrigerated. I just came down to get them from you.”
He grumbled something rude under his breath and turned to close a small, blue cooler, shoving it at me without a word. After I’d spent all day helping him and his wife, he couldn’t even mutter a “thank you”?
“You’re welcome,” I clipped and instantly wished the words back into my mouth. Why hadn’t I just ignored him and walked away?
Fucking hell, Felicity.
With a red face and clenched jaw, Elliot eyed me up and down. “That’s a good look for you, covered in shit.”
There was no keeping my anger in check now. My lip curled. “What is your problem?”
“You. You don’t belong here.”
My eyes narrowed. “You won’t scare me away.”
“Yeah?” he sneered. “We’ll see about that.”
We glared at one another for a few moments before I finally broke away and turned to leave, clutching the handle on the cooler with all my might.
“That’s an even better look,” he called. “You walking away. Make my year, Felicity. Don’t stop until you hit ocean.”
I raised a hand but didn’t speak. My middle finger did the talking.
The evening air was starting to cool but I was raging hot. I stomped back to the barn and unloaded the vaccines into the mini fridge, slamming the door shut when I’d finished.
“Uh-oh,” Silas said at my back.
“Yeah. Uh-oh.”
“Fuck,” he clipped. “What did he do?”
I blew out a loud breath and turned to face him. “He was just his usual unpleasant self. Though, in all fairness, he’s not entirely to blame. I may have let loose some snark.”
“Was that before or after he started shit with you?”
My eyes dropped to my shoes. “Um . . .”
“That’s what I thought,” he muttered when I didn’t answer.
“It will be fine.” I stepped closer to reassure him but he spun around and took a step toward the door.
“The fuck it will. This is bullshit.” He turned back to me, rage burning behind those brown eyes.
“Silas,” I said, holding up my hands to try and calm him down. He didn’t even notice. He just launched into a loud, shouting rant.
“He’s my dad. He should be bending over backward to make you feel welcome here. Instead, he’s been a total fucking dick. You’d think he’d be in a good mood today of all days, but no. He couldn’t even let me enjoy this without ruining it. You know? Fuck it. If he picks a fight with you, he picks a fight with me.”
The curry comb flew out of his hand and into the wall as he spun around and walked to the door.
Holy hell.
The lid on Silas’s temper had just popped off.
“Wait!”
Silas stormed out of the barn and I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.
I reached his side just as he cleared the door and pulled on his arm. “Silas, stop.”
“No.” He yanked his arm free and kept moving. “Not this time.”
Running around him, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his chest. “Forget I said anything, please? Don’t do this. Not today.”
Without a word, he put his hands under my armpits and picked me up, setting me out of his path.
“Silas!” I scrambled again to keep up.
Elliot had left the corrals and was just crossing the threshold into his house. Silas’s steps changed direction as he followed. If he got inside, their fight would be on full display for the branding guests, and Olivia would be humiliated.
I ran around him again, and this time when I pushed at his chest, I used as much force as I could muster and dug my fingernails into his pecs. “Stop this right now!”
“Felicity—”
He went for my armpits again but I dropped my hands and slapped his chest. “Don’t!”
He stopped pushing and glared down at me, fisting his hands on his hips. “Get out of the way, babe.”
I copied his stance. “No. I’m not going to let you get in a fight with your dad today. That house is full of people.” I pointed behind me. “Your mom has worked too hard to let you ruin it.”
He growled. “I don’t care.”
“Of course you do. You’re being completely irrational! Who cares that your dad was a jerk? It wasn’t the first time. What’s this really about?” Before he could deny I was right, I held up a hand. “And don’t tell me it’s about your dad and me snapping at each other. You’re off the rails here, Silas. Something else has been festering for weeks. I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s the same thing causing your nightmares, but since you won’t talk to me, I’m not really fucking sure. Do you feel like telling me yet?”
His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared, but he didn’t answer.
“Fine.” I threw my hands in the air. “You want to get in a fight with your dad? Do it. But I’m not sticking around to watch.”
Flying past him, I went straight for my car. I’d been leaving the keys inside so that anyone could move it if it was in the way. Right now, I was really glad that I didn’t have to go inside before I made my escape. I had about thirty seconds before angry tears were going to come pouring out.
I was pissed at Elliot and Silas, but more than that, I was hurt. He was hiding something from me. He was upset and didn’t trust me enough to confide that in me. Paxon had been able to talk to me. Why couldn’t my own boyfriend?
I heard his footsteps behind me but I didn’t turn.
“You’re going to leave?”
“Yep.” I tossed the word over my shoulder.
“So that’s your answer? I’m pissed so you run away?”
My feet slid to a halt on the gravel and I spun around. “I’m not running away.”
He glared at me and sneered, “Sure feels like it. And I’d know, wouldn’t I?”
Ouch. That was the first time he’d ever thrown the past in my face.
How could he think I’d run away? I was giving him some space. I was taking some time to compose myself before we both ended up saying things we’d regret. How could he not see that?
I guess he really hadn’t forgiven me for the mistakes I’d made, after all.
Maybe it was foolish of me to think he ever would.
Silas
I stood in the middle of the gravel lot and watched Felicity’s car peel away from the barn in a cloud of dust.
“Hey, princess.”
Paxon was on the porch behind me. “What do you want?” I clipped. I was pissed about Dad, about Felicity, about everything, and he’d picked a bad time to come find me.
“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “Just wanted to invite you inside for a poker game, but since I see you’ve got other issues,” he pointed to where Felicity’s car was nearly out of sight, “I think I’d better offer you a beer or twelve instead.”
Beer. Beer would be good.
I turned and followed him inside, keeping my mouth shut when people asked me where Felicity had gone and walking straight to the cooler to pop the lid on a bottle of Bud Light. When I’d drained it down, I dug out number two.
“Easy,” Pax said at my side. “I think you’d better come sit in on this poker game before you stand here by the cooler and get yourself in even more trouble.”
I huffed. “Probably not a bad idea.” I wouldn’t mind getting passed-out drunk but I’d save that for after Felicity came back and dumped my ass.
An hour later, I was down a hundred and fifty bucks and would have an empty wallet when I went home to an empty bed.
“Fuck
,” I muttered, tossing my cards on the table. “I fold.”
“You’re in a shit mood tonight,” Jess said.
“There’s trouble in paradise,” Paxon informed the table.
“What?” Jess asked, looking up from his cards with concern.
I shot Pax a scowl. He hid behind his cards, but I saw the corner of his lip twitch. Dickhead.
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
Now that I’d had a chance to cool off, I realized just how right she was. I’d exploded over something minor because I’d been keeping too much bottled inside. Part of it was Dad. Part of it was stress. Most of it was trying to come to grips with the fact that I wanted to tell Felicity I loved her but I was afraid she wouldn’t say it back.
I was afraid she’d tell me she’d only ever love Wes.
And I’d let this stupid incident today push me over the edge and I’d hurt her.
Fuck.
“Daddy, look!” Rowen snagged my attention as she ran up to Jess’s side with a horseshoe in her hand.
“Nice.” He smiled and started fawning over her discovery. A familiar pang of jealousy hit my gut. I was happy for my friend and fatherhood agreed with him, but I wasn’t getting any younger. I was starting to worry that I’d never have the chance to build my own family.
I wanted kids, a life centered on family. And I wanted it all with Felicity. I wanted our children to grow up close to their cousins and our friends’ kids. I wanted to see them running around playing at a summer barbeque. To have sledding parties at the ranch in the winter. To have big holidays full of laughter and love.
But none of that was going to happen if I’d royally fucked us up this afternoon and driven her away.
I had completely fucking overreacted.
“Snap out of it, dipshit, it’s your deal,” Paxon said.
I chuckled. Yeah, I was a dipshit all right.
What was I even doing here? I should be at Felicity’s house, on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. Promising that I’d never throw the past in her face again.
I set down my beer and stood. “I’ve got to go.”
Ignoring their demands for my money, I jogged inside and through the house. Leaping down the porch steps, I was about to hop in my truck when I saw her car in its normal spot.
