by Vikki Vaught
As he talked, he observed Kathryn as she worked. Her hands were in constant motion. It was fascinating to watch. She held her head a little to the side, and as she concentrated, she bit her bottom lip. He was getting aroused imagining what it would be like to kiss her. His breeches grew taut across his loins.
Obviously, he needed to find a woman, and fast, if he was going to be coming here three times a week. And of course…there was no chaperone as he’d hoped there would be.
“My sister, Helen, Lady Collingswood, loves to ride. She and her husband live along the coast of Devonshire, and they ride on the beach every day. I enjoy riding, but not as much as my sister does. You said you were injured eight years ago. If I may ask, how did you get hurt?”
Jonathan normally hated to talk about his injury, but for some reason he wanted to tell Kathryn about it. “When Bonaparte escaped in 1815, I joined the army. I met your brother, by the way, when we were waiting around for something to happen. During the battle, my horse was shot out from under me. A Frenchman took advantage and shot me. My brother found me, and when the surgeons wanted to amputate my leg, he wouldn’t let them. I’m so grateful that he was there. While I hate that I have to limp, I prefer that to the alternative. I don’t like to complain since I’m lucky I survived when so many others didn’t.”
Kathryn stopped drawing and glanced over at him. “That still doesn’t negate all your suffering. You’ve had to live with discomfort for eight years. My brother was injured at Waterloo, but he doesn’t like to talk about that time.”
“I can understand that,” Jonathan remarked. “I vaguely remember hearing about you losing your father several years back. That’s when your brother inherited his title, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I lost my brother, Nelson, and my father—both within three weeks. Thank goodness we still had Henry to inherit, or I don’t know what would have happened since there were no other male heirs on my father’s side of the family.”
“I’m sure that must have been a dreadful time for your whole family,” Jonathan stretched out his leg in front of him, trying to get more comfortable. “I lost my father five years ago, and I think of him every day. We were very close while I was growing up. He was so relieved when my brother and I both made it back. The only time that I can remember arguing with my father was when both my brother and I decided to go fight Bonaparte. He was so worried the entire time we were gone, and was devastated when I came back so severely wounded.”
“I can understand why he worried. When Henry had to go fight, we were all terribly worried, especially his wife. I’m sure it was hard on you, being so severely wounded.”
“I was very melancholy for a long time after my injury,” Jonathan admitted. “I regret my behavior before my father died. I spent most of my time in London, when I should have been home helping him run the marquessate. When he died of a heart attack, I felt so guilty because I wasn’t with him when it happened. Neither my brother nor I were able to get to him before he died.”
Kathryn resumed sketching. “I’m sure your father knew that you loved him, even if you weren’t there. My father had a heart attack also. He only lived for a few days after his attack. Henry had gone to London when it happened, but he did make it back before he died.”
Jonathan gazed over at Kathryn, once more becoming transfixed as he watched her nibbling on her bottom lip, and wishing that he could taste her. She probably tasted as sweet as cherries.
Oh God, he had to quit thinking this way.
He moved in his seat trying to find a way to ease the front of his breeches. At least his riding coat should cover his arousal.
Kathryn looked over at him and smiled. “Well, that’s enough for today. When you come on Tuesday, I’ll need to make some sketches of you standing up. Will that be a problem for you? I’ll let you sit down and rest between sketches. Will that be all right?”
“That will be fine. I don’t have a problem standing. It’s walking that causes me problems. I’m amazed that I’ve been here for two hours. May I see your sketches?”
“I hope you’ll understand, but I don’t normally let my subjects see my work until it’s complete. You wouldn’t be able to understand what I’m trying to do. I’ll do this: once I’ve got a complete sketch, I’ll let you see that.”
Jonathan shrugged his shoulder. “That’s all right. Whatever works for you is fine with me. Well, I’ll leave you until Tuesday.”
“Let me show you out. I want to thank you again for allowing me to do your portrait. I think you’ll be pleased with the final result.” Kathryn walked with him until they were back downstairs. Then she turned him over to their butler and he showed him to the door.
Once Jonathan was outside, he led his horse to a mounting block and managed to get on. He left and headed over to Madame Angela’s House of Pleasure. A part of him felt guilty about what he was getting ready to do, but he was so aroused from the time spent with Kathryn, he needed relief badly. Besides, he had no reason to feel guilty. After all, he’d just met her six days ago, and he was definitely not interested in having any kind of relationship with her.
When Jonathan arrived, Madame Angela curtsied. “Good afternoon, Lord Sutherland. It’s a pleasure to see you again. Where’s your friend Baron Jenkins?”
Jonathan smiled sardonically. “Jenkins has gone back to his estate, so it’s just me today.”
Madame Angela smiled suggestively. “I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for here. Please look around and pick out any of my ladies.”
Jonathan looked around the room, spied a tall gorgeous redhead, pointed toward her. “I would like to spend time with her. What’s her name?”
“My lord, you have very good taste. That’s Suzette, and she’s just come here from Paris. I think you’ll be pleased with her.” Madame Angela motioned Suzette over. “Suzette, Lord Sutherland would like to spend some time with you this afternoon. Take him upstairs so that you can entertain him in the privacy of your room.”
Jonathan followed Suzette upstairs. She was quite tall and slender, and her hips gently swayed as she walked up the stairs. His desire spiraled upward as he thought with anticipation of what was to come. When they entered her room, she led him to the bed and he sat down. Suzette gazed seductively at him, reached down, and stroked his cock through his breeches, and he grew even harder than he had been before. As she rubbed up against him, she slowly unbuttoned his breeches, reached inside his smalls, and took out his rigid member.
As Suzette began to stroke him, he saw Kathryn’s beautiful face. Jonathan closed his eyes and imagined it was Kathryn touching him as his desire spiked to fever pitch. Suzette leaned over and took him into her mouth and started sucking and running her tongue up and down his shaft. Again, he imagined Kathryn was doing this to him. He pulled Suzette up, leaned her over the bed, and entered her from behind. He stroked in and out, harder and faster, all the time picturing Kathryn’s beautiful face. In mere seconds, he exploded in an incredibly powerful climax.
Jonathan had never reached satisfaction so quickly, at least not since he was just a green boy with his first whore. As he came back down to earth, he felt embarrassed and a little ashamed by his visualization of Kathryn. In a way, he felt as if he had betrayed her, which made no sense since they weren’t involved. After all, he’d only met her last Monday. Even though he obviously desired her, he knew that since she was an innocent, nothing could ever come of it.
Standing up, Jonathan buttoned his breeches. “Thank you, Suzette, for an enjoyable time. I’ll be sure to tell Madame that you pleased me tremendously.”
Suzette rolled over and sat up. “Don’t you want to do anything else? I’m sure I could revive you, if you would let me.” She reached for him, but he backed away.
“No, that’s all right. I’m fine. You’ve more than satisfied me. Here’s a little extra for the enjoyable time you’ve given me. I’m going to take my leave now.”
After Jonathan left Madame Angela’s, he realized that h
e shouldn’t have gone there. While it was extremely erotic, he shouldn’t have thought of Kathryn while he was in a brothel. He knew that he must never do that again. If he couldn’t stop thinking about her, he would just have to try to do without sex until he was over this obsession he was having with Kathryn.
Chapter 6
July 1823
Kathryn watched as Jonathan departed her mother’s house. She realized that she was now thinking of him as “Jonathan” ever since his sister-in-law had used his given name. In her sketches of him, she was able to capture the sad expression in his brilliant blue eyes. Kathryn longed to see him smiling and happy. She just knew he would have a dazzling smile with those white teeth and sensual mouth. Every time she was around him, she experienced odd sensations coursing through her body, and it was very disturbing. These sensations were new to Kathryn, and she wasn’t sure what was causing them, but she wished they would stop.
Oh goodness, she had to stop thinking about him like this!
She never thought about other men this way.
It was such a shame that Jonathan’s knee had been so severely injured at Waterloo. So many fine young men either lost their lives or were permanently injured in that terrible battle. It all seemed so senseless to her. She realized that Waterloo had been necessary, but it still didn’t make any sense to her. War was so brutal, and she wished it didn’t exist. Of course, wars had been around since the beginning of time, and she was sure there would be other wars in the future. She just hoped there wasn’t another one in her lifetime.
Her heart went out to Jonathan. Kathryn could sense that he felt a keen sense of guilt over not being there when his father died. It must be horrible to live with that kind of guilt. If he could just let go of it, she knew he would be a happier man. She looked forward to getting to know him better. She definitely found him fascinating.
Why did she keep thinking so much about him?
This was so strange for her. She had never thought about a man like she was thinking about Jonathan.
Kathryn went back upstairs and put away her drawing supplies. She pinned the drawings that she’d made of Jonathan to the canvas on her easel and stood back, looking the drawings over. His eyes had quite a few lines at the corners, and he looked bone-weary tired. She wondered if he had trouble sleeping. Henry had suffered from nightmares for years after his injuries at Waterloo. That could be what was wrong with Jonathan, and why he probably slept so poorly.
Kathryn understood about nightmares. She’d suffered from them since she was a small child, along with sleepwalking. Her nightmares were brought on by the abuse she’d suffered at the hands of her uncle, Viscount Manningly. He was her mother’s brother, and in her mother’s eyes, her uncle could do no wrong. He came to visit frequently while she was growing up.
Uncle Theodore started abusing her when she was about six years old, and it continued until she was sixteen. That Christmas, he’d tried to rape her, but Henry and Melody stopped him before he could finish the rape. Of course, they didn’t know it, but her uncle had raped her many times.
Kathryn was twelve years old the first time he raped her, but before that, he made her do disgusting things. Even when she was six years, he would get her alone and touch her. As the years went by, his depravity grew worse. Kathryn had a hard time understanding why he had picked her. He told her that it was because she was bad, and that he needed to show her the error of her ways, but she always thought that it must be something about her that caused him to choose her.
Still to this day, every time Kathryn would remember what he did to her, it made her quite ill, especially when she remembered how he made her take him into her mouth. The rapes themselves had been excruciatingly painful, but the other thing was worse. It was because of her horrible experience with her uncle that she had decided that she would never marry. As much as she would like to have children, she knew she could never stand to be intimate with a man.
Kathryn would shower all her maternal love on her dear nieces and nephews. Henry and Melody had four children. Mary Elizabeth was their eldest, and she was now seven years old and grew to look more like Kathryn’s sister, Helen, as each day passed. Mary Elizabeth was small for her age, so she took that after Melody, who was very petite. Brandon had just turned six years old, but Henry wasn’t his real father. Then in 1818, they had Magnus who was three years old, and then the baby William, who was nine months old, and a delightful baby.
Helen had four children also, and Kathryn looked forward to seeing them in November when she went to paint the Marquess and Marchioness of Ralston. She would be staying with Helen and Matthew while she did the portrait.
Yes, she was truly blessed with all her nieces and nephews.
Kathryn was so grateful to have them in her life. She looked over at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was almost time for luncheon. She hurried to her room to freshen up before she went down to join her mother.
Kathryn entered the dining room, sat down across from her mother, and the footman served her. As they were eating her mother asked, “How did the sitting with Lord Sutherland go this morning? Did you have a chance to talk while you were sketching? I’m sure that he’s a very interesting gentleman.”
“The sitting went extremely well, and I was able to do quite a few sketches that will help when I actually start painting his portrait. I found him to be very interesting. He actually met Henry in Brussels shortly before that terrible battle. Lord Sutherland was a captain in the army, just as Henry was, so they met right before the battle. In fact, that was how he was injured. From what he said, he’s very fortunate that he didn’t lose his leg. What do you have planned for this evening? Are we going anywhere?”
“Oh my, yes,” her mother said. “I thought that we would attend the opera tonight. I know how you’ve always enjoyed that. I want you to enjoy your visit with me. Do you realize that this is the first time that we’ve ever spent time together without the rest of the family around? I’m so pleased that you agreed to come.”
Kathryn realized that she was enjoying this time with her mother. They had never been close, so maybe this was the ideal opportunity to forge a closer bound. “I’m enjoying my time here. Bath is such a lovely city, and your townhouse is beautiful. I’m sure you love living here, but I’m sure you miss Sanderford Park. What opera is playing tonight?”
“It’s one of Mozart’s operas, Le nozze di Figaro. Have you ever seen it before?”
“Yes, and it’s actually one of my favorites, so I look forward to attending tonight. I love the comic operas, and that one is delightful,”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying your stay with me. I do love Bath. Since so many of my friends live here, there are constant parties and soirees to keep me entertained. Of course, Sanderford Park is wonderful, but I’ve always enjoyed city living much more than living in the country. If you are going to establish a studio in London, you’ll need to adjust to city life.”
“While I was attending the Art Institute, I enjoyed London tremendously. Even though I’m not thrilled with balls and such, I do love the other amusements that are available in London. Melody’s aunt, Lady Helton, has offered to allow me to continue to stay with her whenever I’m in London, so I’ll be returning there in the spring.” They continued talking as they finished their meal. It was one of the most pleasant conversations she’d ever had with her mother.
Once they were finished with their meal, Kathryn stood up. “I’m going to take a walk this afternoon. I’ll see you later at tea.” She left the dining room and went to find her maid so she could go for her walk.
Kathryn enjoyed walking tremendously, and she could walk for miles without growing tired. Fortunately, Sarah enjoyed walking as well, since she had to come with her. She felt constrained by the rules that governed unmarried females while in the city. When she was at Sanderford Park, she could walk for miles by herself and never leave the park. Here, if she wanted to stick her nose out of the door, she had to take her maid with her.
She was quite fond of Sarah, but it would be so nice to be able to take a walk by herself.
While Kathryn was on her walk, she stopped by the bookseller and found an excellent book on art, and a new novel, so she purchased them both. Then she went to the confectionery and picked out some delicious looking chocolate sweetmeats. Kathryn loved anything chocolate. On the way back to her mother’s, she ran into Lady Milsom and they chatted a bit. Over all, Kathryn had a very pleasant afternoon.
When Jonathan returned home, he went to his rooms and had Hatton wrap his knee with cold compresses and put liniment on it. Since he was in quite a bit of pain, he took a dose of laudanum and fell asleep. When Jonathan woke up several hours later, he felt much better, since his head was no longer pounding from his excessive drinking the night before. Jonathan had promised Roderick that he would stay away from liquor, but he had broken down and gotten drunk when he woke up from his nightmare. It pained him when he remembered that he’d let his brother down this morning.
Jonathan felt that the problem was the whiskey, so he had ordered Goodman to remove all of it from the house. He loved the way the whiskey made him feel while he was drinking it, but he didn’t enjoy the aftermath. His head always felt much worse the morning after. It was not so much the drinking, but what…he’d been drinking. From now on, he was going to stick to wine and a little brandy before he went to bed. That should be all right.
That night, after Jonathan retired to bed and sent Hatton away, he sat in his chair to read. While he read, he sipped his glass of brandy, no more drinking it quickly. He would savor it and nurse it along, that way he wouldn’t drink as much. It worked for a while, but then as he started to feel mellow, he told himself that he could drink a little bit faster. By midnight, he’d passed out in his chair and never made it to his bed.
