Forgotten Dreams

by Janet Lane-Walters

  Emma disconnected. She slumped against the back of her chair. Had she made the right choice? What would she do if he kissed her again? She felt like a piece of clay waiting to be shaped by a potter. She looked up and saw Claire.

  “Patients are waiting.”

  “I know. Be there in a few minutes.”

  “What did the hunk want?”

  “He invited me to dinner at Rob Grantlan’s house this evening.”

  Claire grinned. “Are you going?”

  Emma nodded. “I’m having second thoughts, though.”

  “Why? You need to let loose all the hurt, disappointment and anger you hold inside.”

  “I know but you know how I am when I get angry. I cry and feel like a fool.”

  “Go. Have dinner. The Grantlans will be there. You won’t need to be alone with him unless you choose.”

  She wished Claire was right. Knowing Chad, he would find a way to get her alone. She met her sister’s gaze. “I’ll go and I will talk.”

  “Good. You’ve bottled your anger for too long. I felt so much better after I told Kevin how much he’d hurt me. I also cried.”

  “How did he react?”

  “He hit me and knocked Brian against the wall. I don’t think that’s Chad’s way.”

  “I don’t know him anymore. Who knows what he’ll do?” Emma grabbed her stethoscope. “I’m off to see patients.”

  For the rest of the afternoon, Emma saw patients and consulted with Dr. Reid. As she finished her records, she tried not to think about Chad and this evening. Claire stopped at the door.

  “You almost finished?”

  “Another twenty minutes.”

  “I’m heading to the Academy for Brian.”

  “See you at home.” Her phone chirped. She answered. “Hello, Manon.”

  “Come for dinner. Rafe has to meet with the evening supervisor.”

  “Can’t. I have plans.”

  “With?”

  “Rob and Andi Grantlan and Chad.”

  “Have a great time.” Manon laughed. “Hit him where it hurts. In his ego.”

  “I will.” Though her stomach churned, she had to talk to Chad and end this whatever-it-was for good.

  Emma finished her notes and drove home. Claire and Brian sat in the kitchen. Emma inhaled the aroma of fried chicken. “Maybe I’ll stay here for dinner.”

  Claire shook her head. “I made just enough for us. Don’t chicken out.”

  “I won’t.” She dashed upstairs and opened her closet to rummage through her clothes. What to wear? She decided against jeans or shorts. She looked at the few summer dresses she owned. Most were too dressy. She pulled a light blue sleeveless dress she’d forgotten she owned. After a quick shower she dressed, brushed her hair and applied lipstick. She slipped on sandals and went downstairs.

  “You look pretty,” Brian said.

  Emma laughed. “Thank you, kind sir.”

  He giggled. “Not a sir. I’m a boy.”

  “So you are. See you tomorrow. You be good for your mom.”

  She left the house and walked to her car. Janice Stone strode up the sidewalk. Emma’s shoulders tensed. What did the woman want? She opened the car door.

  “Not so fast,” Janice said.

  “Why are you here?” Emma asked.

  “You’re Chad Morgan’s school friend. I bet you know where he is. I want to see him.”

  “Why?”

  Janice’s smile changed to a sneer. “What do you think I want? More time to show him what I can offer him. I’m hotter than those Hollywood women.”

  “And older,” Emma said. “You had your chance. He didn’t accept.”

  “Those guards that were hired made life difficult for me.”

  “Chad hired the guards. I also heard you arranged a photographer or two to step in and take pictures.”

  Janice’s laughter held a bitter note. “Why shouldn’t I? Would have been a way to escape Fern Lake.”

  Emma opened the car door. “With your degree and experience you could leave any time.”

  “Not the way I want to resign.” She stepped closer. “You’re all dressed up. Going somewhere?”

  “Yes and I must be on my way.”

  Janice grasped her arm. “Is it with him? You sure won’t give him what he wants, but I will. He’s been without a woman for weeks. Tell him to call.”

  Emma jerked away. She slid into the car and locked the door. For a moment she considered starting the car and removing Janice by force. Her teeth clenched. Why did the woman’s desires bother her? Chad could see her or not. The choice was his. She had no intention of forwarding the message.

  She knew why. Janice’s brashness brought a surge of envy. She felt sure the other woman wouldn’t hesitate to show her anger if a man had dropped her. She gripped the wheel. Trusting Chad would be foolish. He thrived on short affairs. She wanted forever. She released an explosive sigh and started the car.

  As she drove, a resolve formed. She would tell Chad what his actions and attitude had done to her, how much he’d hurt her. The feeling of not being pretty enough or good enough had been born that day four years ago when she’d called and learned his phone number had been changed. Claire was right. She had to release the anger. How? She couldn’t start a fight in front of the Grantlans.

  She drove out of town until she reached the road leading to Rob’s home. A car parked on the grassy berm caught her attention. Someone wanting to invade? She stopped beside the box and punched in the numbers Rob had given her. The gate swung outward. A man left the parked car and ran toward the gate. She sped through as the gates closed. Her rear bumper cleared seconds before the gate slid into place. She stopped the car.

  The man clung to the gate. “Let me in. I need to speak to Chad Morgan.”

  Emma eased her car up the hill. The road wound around clusters of trees. When she reached the circular driveway she studied the cabin. She laughed. The front was made from logs but a huge stone wing had been added. Now she knew why Chad had called the cabin an oxymoron. For a moment, she calmed her roiling thoughts. She drew a deep breath and walked to the door.

  Chapter 6

  Chad wheeled his chair to the front window and peered at the road. He heard the grandfather clock chime quarter past the hour. Would she come? He’d said around six. He’d hoped she’d be early so they would have a chance to talk. Maybe she had changed her mind. She could call but she didn’t have his number.

  Andi paused behind his chair. “She’ll be here. Ask Rob how many times I’ve been late because an emergency patient needs to be seen or test results must be tracked down.”

  Chad turned his head. “When we were teens, she always arrived early.”

  “She has more responsibilities now. I imagine she’s changed. People do.”

  Tammy toddled over. She touched Chad’s arm. “I ride.”

  He laughed. “Climb aboard.”

  She settled on his lap and touched his cast. “Why you not walk?”

  “I broke my legs.” He turned the chair and rolled down the hall in the bedroom wing to the end so Tammy could see the pool.

  “I swim today. You swim?”

  “Can’t.”

  “Even with the bags?”

  Chad chuckled. This morning she’d escaped Rob and had run into the bedroom while his casts were being encased in trash bags. Her question amused him. “Not even with the bags. I would sink like the stones you dropped in the pool.”

  She shook her head. “Okay. You not a fish.”

  “I sure am not.”

  He turned the chair and returned to his post at the front window. As he glanced toward the road, a bright blue car appeared over the rise. His heart thundered. His hands felt sweaty. The teenage reaction startled him and made him laugh. Maybe you could go back in time. He might be luckier now than he had been then.

  “Lady come.” Tammy slid from his lap and ran to the door.

  When the bell rang, Andi answered. “Emma, I’m glad you coul
d come.” She said something he couldn’t hear. Both women laughed.

  Emma turned to him. Her laughter made her eyes sparkle. “Thanks for inviting me.” She walked to the wheelchair and clasped his extended hand. “How does it feel to have escaped confinement? Claire and I saw the fake you and chuckled at the crowd’s reaction.”

  “So did I. Made quite a show. As to how I feel, half grand. But at least I can go places.”

  “When I entered the grounds, I saw a car parked on the berm. A man got out and tried to enter the gate before it closed.”

  “Did he have a camera?”

  “I think he carried a briefcase.”

  His forehead creased. “Was he thin and dark-haired?”

  “He was.”

  Chad groaned. “My agent. He has contracts I’m not ready to sign. He just won’t give up trying.”

  “Why don’t you talk to him?” Emma asked.

  “I’d have to give him the combination to the gate. There’s a good chance he’d arrive with a photographer and a reporter. I’m not ready for that.”

  Emma cocked her head. “Surely there’s a way to open the gate from here.”

  “I’ve no idea. Besides, letting him and an entourage in wouldn’t be fair to Rob and Andi.”

  Rob turned from the stove. “I’d just sic chatterbox on him.” He tossed pasta into a pan. “Button, go wash your hands. Dinner in ten.”

  Andi left the room with the toddler. Emma followed Chad to the table. “Smells good.”

  “Shrimp Diablo.” He carried salad, rice and the main dish to the table.

  Chad filled glasses with iced tea. When Andi and Tammy returned, the little girl climbed into her highchair. “Eat now.”

  From a separate dish, Andi fixed a plate for the little girl. “A little less spice than ours. We’re educating her palate gradually.” She turned to Chad and Emma. “Wine?”

  Chad shook his head. “Tea is fine.”

  Andi filled three glasses. “I forgot you don’t like wine.”

  “I’d have a beer or a rum and cola but not with this food.” He lifted his glass of iced tea. “Here’s to old friends.”

  Before long, they ate the delicious spicy meal. Talk covered a dozen topics from politics to art. Stories of the past crept into the conversation. When they finished, the four adults cleared the table.

  Rob plucked Tammy from the highchair. “We’re going for a walk.”

  “Find birds and bunnies?” Tammy asked.

  “You never know.”

  Chad reached for Emma’s hand. “Would you like to walk, too? There are some nice trails and most I can manage with the wheelchair.”

  She nodded. “Exercise after all I ate is a good idea.”

  Chad laughed. “When these casts are gone I’ll need to exercise eight hours a day to take off the extra pounds I’ll gain. He cooks like this for every meal.”

  Emma joined his laughter. “How much longer will you have the casts?”

  “I’ve an appointment with Dr. Markham in four weeks. I’ll need an X-ray before then.” He made a face. “That means a trip to the hospital. With luck the vultures will be after another story and I’ll avoid the cameras.”

  “What will you do without the casts?”

  He opened the door so she could follow him. “Exercise in the pool here. I’ll need to return to California for several reasons.” He steered the wheelchair onto the path leading to the swimming pool. “After my obligations are fulfilled there, I have a great idea for what will come next. I’ll be using a cane and have a limp so another Storm adventure is out.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  He shook his head. “I’m tired of that role. I wasn’t going to do another Storm even before the accident.” He hesitated. “I have a plan but I can’t do it alone. I’m working on a way to make a new venture viable.”

  “Then good luck for whatever.”

  “Have you ever dreamed of something you would do if you had a chance?”

  “Always.”

  When she said nothing more, he didn’t know what more he could say. They continued past the pool and entered the cool shaded area where a bench sat beneath a tall oak. He clasped Emma’s hand and tugged her closer. His lips brushed hers. Her hands rested on his shoulders.

  Memories of other times they had kissed flooded his thoughts. He eased her down until she sat on his lap. Surely she could feel the effect she had on him.

  His tongue darted into her mouth and caught the spices from their dinner. He ran his hand across her chest and felt her breasts. The tips tightened. He wished they had stayed at the house so they could lie on the bed. He cupped one breast and plucked the nipple.

  She responded and circled his neck with her arms. He slid his hand over her belly and found the hem of her dress. His body throbbed with need. The kiss heated. He slid his hand along her thigh and stroked, hoping for her to surrender.

  Emma broke free. She stood and glared. “You’re good at that but I’m leaving. We came here to talk, not make love.” She turned away.

  “Stay,” Chad said. “We do need to talk. Why are you so upset about a simple kiss?”

  She turned. He saw tears in her eyes. What had he done?

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Then tell me why responding to my kiss and why wanting me bothers you.”

  * * *

  Emma sank on the bench. The burn of forming tears stirred fury. Why did she always turn into a weeping willow when she tried to express her anger? She clenched her hands. How to begin? The anger bubbling inside moved closer toward release. The thought of the other couple seeing her face after a flood of tears made her want to run and avoid letting loose the pain she’d carried since Chad had stopped calling, texting or sending little gifts.

  Not all her anger was toward him. At least half focused on herself and her voluntary responsibilities to see her younger siblings become adults. She could have accepted one of his invitations to visit. He could have come to Fern Lake. She dragged a breath of air into her lungs.

  “Tell me,” Chad said. “I never realized how much I missed you until I decided to come to Fern Lake to see Rob. How did we grow so distant?”

  She looked up. “I missed you every day. When you first left we emailed. We talked on the phone. We sent each other silly gifts. We shared the good times and the bad ones. I saw your mother several times a week. I made plans to visit you.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  She studied her hands. “For most of those years I had responsibilities. The younger ones needed me.”

  “Your father was there. And Claire is only two years younger. She could have been there for them.”

  She glared. “I promised my mother before she died I would see my brothers and sisters grown. I couldn’t fail her. Promises must be kept.” She stared at him. Did she see a hint of shame in his eyes.

  He edged the chair closer. “I’m sure there was more to your holding yourself back. Maybe you were afraid you didn’t care.”

  She drew a deep breath and felt the first tears form. “You talked about how much fun you were having and all the important people you met. Then you had those roles in a half dozen movies. One day, I saw your picture everywhere. Saw you kissing beautiful women. Read about your latest romance, one after another.” Her voice grew shrill. Her cheeks were wet. “You stopped calling. You never texted or emailed me. You were too busy having fun. That’s when I knew.”

  “Knew what?”

  “That all the things you told me when we were together were lies.”

  “No, Emma, they weren’t. I love you. I always will. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  She choked back a sigh and wiped the rapidly flowing tears with her arm. “You only said those things because you wanted sex with me.”

  Chad shook his head. “That’s not true. We both agreed to wait for marriage.”

  A scream formed. “That didn’t stop you from screwing every woman you dated.”

&nb
sp; “Are you sure that’s what I did?”

  “I read the stories! Every week a new flavor.”

  “A lot of that was just promo.”

  Right.” She gasped a breath. “When you found fame. When you saw how all those women wanted you, you cut communication. You were Hollywood’s stud. You didn’t have the courage to tell me you didn’t want me. For months my emails went unanswered. You ignored my texts. Even your mother stopped talking to me. Still I waited just like a fool.”

  “But…but…Why didn’t you call?”

  “How could I? Your number changed. You didn’t let me know your new one.”

  “Gregson,” Chad said. “My agent had me take a new number. An unlisted one under Ian Greve. And I never thought to let you know. I’m sorry.”

  “And I was supposed to know this?” her breath caught in her throat. “You never tried and you certainly looked like you were having fun with your promo ops.”

  He reached for her hand. She rose and moved away. “Listen to me, please. Those pictures and the women weren’t my idea. My agent arranged them. Said I needed an image so I would be chosen for the role of Storm. You have no idea what an unknown has to do. Yes, I did things I didn’t enjoy but I had a dream.”

  Emma used her skirt to wipe her face. “It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving. I wish you luck.”

  “Don’t run off. Think of our kisses. They showed you weren’t indifferent to me.”

  Emma drew a shuddering breath. “That’s true and that’s the problem. For ten years something inside me kept hoping, even during the four years when I didn’t hear from you. I’m done with that. I’ve dated but I couldn’t get past my feelings. That’s finished. I need to move on the way you have.”

  Her tears began again. She started toward the path.

  “Emma, please,” Chad called.

  “There’s nothing you can do. Go back to Hollywood. Go back to all those blondes who slathered over you.”

  “I know you care. I’ve felt how you react to me.”