Gambling on Love

by Jane Davitt

  Gary moved around the kitchen, quick, jerky steps that took him nowhere and accomplished nothing. “Shit, you mean it.”

  “Of course I fucking do!” Abe shook his head, exasperation rising. “Tell me you don’t feel the same. I won’t believe you, but take your best shot.”

  Gary exhaled. “What’s the point? You know I do. I don’t know how long it’ll last. Peter’s death—yes, I’m saying his name, deal with it—Peter dying, hell, Peter alive, fucked me up so much I’m not sure I know who I am anymore. For five years he gave me a life I’d never even dreamed of. He looked after me. He owned me. Solo, I’m lost.”

  “You’re not on your own. You’ve got me.”

  “But you come with all this.” Gary swept his arm out. “I can’t do small-town bliss, Abe. I can’t.”

  “Then we find another way.” Abe heard himself say the words and marveled at how calm he sounded. “I might have to come back here—I can’t leave Linda and Sarah in the lurch—but once I’m free, I’ll go with you. Don’t leave me again, Fox. Stick with me this time.”

  “You’d hate me in six months.” There was enough yearning in his voice that Abe knew he wasn’t alone in wanting this to work.

  “It’s not like I couldn’t come back,” Abe pointed out. “Not to the cabin, but my parents would never close the door in my face. I’d go back to doing odd jobs, even find something permanent since I’d be in town all the time.”

  For a moment he considered that option, turning over some possibilities in his head. There were a few restaurants in town, and he could try out for a job in one of them, starting at the bottom and learning the trade. Gary’s idle words at the diner had stuck in his head. Cooking was something he loved and— But Gary wouldn’t be part of that life, and that ruled it out.

  “I guess.”

  “I’m saying I wouldn’t be burning any bridges.” Exhilaration rose and filled him, fizzy bubbles, golden and bright. “I’ve never been to Vegas,” he said, more to himself than to Gary. “I’ve never been anywhere.”

  “Might be time you went,” Gary suggested.

  Sailor appeared, winding around Gary’s legs, purring steadily. Gary bent and scooped the cat into his arms. “What about your furry friend? He could come with us?”

  Abe shook his head. “He hates going in the car. He’d be miserable, and after a few miles of him yowling and peeing everywhere out of temper, so would we. I could leave him with my Uncle Rob. He loves cats, and his died before Christmas. Sailor’s not attached to me, so I don’t think he’d pine. He stays here with Linda and Sarah in the summer and doesn’t miss me.”

  “Silly cat.” Gary tickled Sailor’s ears. “I’d miss you.”

  It was as close as Gary was likely to get to saying thank you. Abe walked over to him. “Put the cat down.”

  “Why?” Gary kissed the top of Sailor’s head and gave Abe an upward glance. “What did you have planned? Packing? Route planning?”

  Even when he was amused by the fake flirting, Abe couldn’t help responding to it on one level. “You know damn well what I want.”

  He took a protesting Sailor from Gary and unceremoniously deposited him on the floor. Sailor stalked off, his tail lashing, and Abe made a mental note to give the cat some love later. Sailor wasn’t the forgiving type, but a handful of kitty treats went a long way.

  He shoved Gary against a countertop and kissed him, putting all his excitement and trepidation into it, grinding his mouth against Gary’s. From the death grip Gary had on Abe’s ass, it didn’t seem as if he objected.

  “Want you.” Abe moved his attentions to Gary’s neck, biting and sucking until the skin was hot and wet and Gary was moaning for him. “Want to suck you, want to feel you in me again.”

  Gary’s palm skimmed over Abe’s ass with a protective caress. “You’ll feel it after what we did last night.”

  “I already can. It’ll hurt more if you don’t fuck me.”

  He sank to his knees before Gary could argue, waiting for Gary to pick up the reins he’d dropped. He heard Gary’s breath hitch. Surprise or pleasure? He’d find out soon enough.

  Gary reached down and dealt with the button and zipper on his pants, pushing them down to midthigh along with his boxers. His dick wasn’t fully hard, and Abe swallowed, wanting to take it into his mouth and feel it swell and thicken.

  “You can suck it.” Gary never sounded brusque or domineering when he took charge, Abe realized. There was a quiet certainty, an acceptance of responsibility. It made obeying him easy. Abe was too strong-willed to take being bullied, but for Gary he’d kneel without hesitation or resentment. “Get me hard, but put your hands behind your back. It looks good on you.”

  “Yes, Fox.” A surge of arousal swept through him as he shifted his hands. God, he loved feeling cared for, appreciated. The men he’d slept with had sometimes come close to giving him what he wanted, but they’d confused control with roughness or humiliation. He didn’t mind picking up a few bruises, but he wanted them from someone he trusted.

  With as much delicacy of touch as he could manage, he took Gary’s cock into his mouth, the urgency of a few minutes ago transformed into an expectant intensity. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the soft, supple flesh, coaxing it harder with his tongue. He inhaled the scent he’d never forgotten, a smell that was impossible to break down or label in any way other than “Gary.”

  He brought Gary to full hardness, his lips slick and tingling, and then paused.

  “Hold still.” Gary added a warning tap of his finger to Abe’s cheek. He fucked Abe’s mouth in slow, careless strokes with no rhythm to them: some shallow, so Abe had to fight the impulse to lean in and take more than he was being given, and some deep enough to make Abe gag helplessly, his eyes tearing up.

  He was being used and he gloried in it, doing his best to lap and suck assiduously, no matter how erratic the thrusts were.

  “You’re so good at this.” Gary pulled out, leaving him bereft. “No, don’t worry, I want this.” Gary snagged one of the abandoned bottles of beer and put it against Abe’s mouth. “Take a mouthful. Don’t swallow. Hold it.”

  The bottle tipped, and beer trickled into Abe’s mouth. Obediently, he closed his throat and let the beer stay in the hollow of his mouth. It washed over his tongue and teeth, cooling them.

  When it lost the first edge of coolness, Gary nudged Abe’s lips with the head of his cock, parting them before pushing inside. Abe did his best not to swallow, leaving the beer nowhere to go but out, spilling over Gary’s cock and dripping down.

  “God, that feels incredible.” Gary groaned, uninhibited and vocal. “Cool and wet plus the heat of your mouth. Jesus, Abe, if you’re good, I’ll do it to you.”

  He fucked Abe’s mouth with short, quick stabs, gripping Abe’s head tightly, then drew away again, his breath coming in harsh gasps. “I could do that forever, but if you want me to fuck you, I’d better stop.”

  Abe licked his lips, tasting beer. “You don’t have to.” The words rasped his throat.

  “I want to.” Gary tugged at his shirt. “Up. Get naked while I grab what we’ll need. When I come back, I want you against the counter, legs spread wide. Don’t touch your dick. I mean it. Not even through your clothes. That’s my job.”

  It was a measure of how into the scene Abe was that Gary leaving the room didn’t break the spell. He shed clothes until he was down to his plain black briefs. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband and eased it out far enough to work it over his cock, mindful of Gary’s instructions. His cock was wedged sideways, and it popped up when it was released from the tight confines of the briefs, making him grin.

  He wanted to palm it, cup his balls and soothe the ache building up, but he wanted to please Gary more. He kicked out of the briefs and turned his head. Gary watched him, the satisfaction and approval in his eyes warming Abe like firelight. He was as naked as Abe. They exchanged a smile before Gary looked pointedly at the countertop.

  Without speaking, Ab
e got into position, braced on his hands, his legs spread shamelessly wide, his head down. Gary walked over and set the lube and a condom where Abe could see them out of the corner of his eye.

  “You wanted to feel yourself up, didn’t you?” he whispered into Abe’s ear, and ran his hand over Abe’s belly, scratching it with his nails and making Abe suck in a quick breath.

  Abe turned and caught Gary’s eye. “Yeah. My balls feel so tight and my dick’s rock-hard. They need touching. Why don’t you do it for me, Fox?”

  Gary stepped back, taking the condom and lube with him. He moved behind Abe, but the expected touch didn’t come. Instead Abe heard a quiet thud as Gary went to his knees. He glanced down and caught a glimpse of his cock, stiff and red, and saw Gary dragging over some of Abe’s discarded clothes to use as a cushion.

  The liquid touch of Gary’s tongue on the underside of his ass, tracing the crease where it met his thigh, made Abe inhale sharply. Sweat prickled the back of his neck. God, if Gary rimmed him, he wasn’t sure he could hold it together. He’d had that done to him once, by a guy too drunk to be capable of more than a few cursory licks that missed the target, but he’d come anyway, shooting spunk over the sheets, burning with lust.

  Gary didn’t rush. His mouth traveled over Abe’s ass, sometimes licking, sometimes kissing, digging his teeth in now and then. Sharp, hot little bites, not painful but arousing, leaving behind patches of sensitized skin.

  When Gary parted the cheeks of Abe’s ass, it was done so casually it took Abe, floating in a sensual haze, a moment to realize what was coming next. He braced himself. As good as being rimmed would feel, he wanted to come with Gary’s thick cock driving into him.

  His good intentions and willpower dissolved at the first swipe of Gary’s tongue: an avid lick, nothing hesitant about it. As a teenager, he had always thought rimming was something people did in porn movies, but not for real. Gross, in fact. The first time he’d been asked to do it, he’d refused; the second time, with the guy fresh from a shower, he’d agreed more out of curiosity than anything else. The intimacy of it, spiced with a sense he was doing something forbidden, had changed his mind. To have Gary rim him with evident relish, eating out his ass to an accompaniment of hums and approving murmurs, was as hot as fire.

  He lasted longer than he’d expected, but when Gary added lube to the mix and slid a finger and his tongue as deep as they’d go, Abe shouted out a warning. Gary ignored it, and Abe came, splattering the cupboard door and the floor, his hands clenching.

  Gary kept his hands on Abe, a light, reassuring touch, no more than that, and let him settle down before he spoke.

  “So I guess that’s something we can do again.”

  “Fuck me.” He didn’t break position. God, what was Gary waiting for? “Do it now. Please?”

  “No way.” Gary rose, and put the unused condom back on the countertop along with the lube. “You’re too sore. I don’t mind hurting you in a good way, but a raw ass isn’t fun.”

  “What?” He straightened and turned to face Gary. “No! I’m fine. Jesus, it’s my fucking ass!”

  “You’ll thank me when you take your next dump.”

  Abe’s body purred with satisfaction, but his brain insisted he’d been deprived of a treat. “Don’t do that again, okay? I was expecting something and you waved it under my nose, then snatched it away again. It sucks.”

  “Do you?” Gary asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “Suck, I mean. Because that would take care of my problem, as you call it, very nicely.”

  Abe couldn’t help laughing. “What did that teacher always call you? Incorrigible?”

  “Miss Devon? Yeah, but deep down she loved me.”

  “Is that right.” He stared at Gary’s cock; its stiffness was unaffected by the wait. “Okay, but let’s take this into the bedroom. The floor’s too hard.”

  “God forbid you get bruised knees to match your ego.”

  “Asshole.” He followed Gary to the bedroom, intent on teasing Gary to the point where he begged for mercy. He settled down on the bed between Gary’s legs and gave him a predatory smile. “Sure you want my teeth near your dick when I’m in this mood?”

  “I’ll risk it.”

  “Desperate, huh?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  He grinned and rubbed his thumb through the spill of pre-cum coating the rounded crown of Gary’s cock. It was as slippery as lube and he moved it around, spreading it like butter on bread.

  “Feel free to start any time this week.”

  “Already did. Are we in a rush?”

  “Well, we’re leaving in the morning and we—ooh. No. No rush at all.”

  Abe chuckled and raised his head, refusing to repeat the swift, hard suck that had gotten Gary going. He cupped Gary’s balls in his hand and played with them, so lost in the moment that the insistent shrill of the telephone took a moment to register.

  “There’s a phone here? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Abe shrugged, unmoved by the accusing tone. “Who would you have called?”

  Ignoring the question, Gary snapped, “Well, if it’s someone selling you lawn care, tell them to fuck off. Better yet, don’t answer it.”

  “I’ve got to.” He slid off the bed. “Not many people have that number, and it could be important.”

  The phone was upstairs beside Linda and Sarah’s bed. He took the stairs at a run and grabbed the phone with the feeling it’d been about to stop ringing.

  “Hi. Abe here.”

  “Well, of course it is. Who else would it be?”

  “Linda.” He smiled and sat on the bed. The phone was old-fashioned, big and clunky, a landline with a cord so it still worked if the power went out. The handset was heavy in his grasp. “How are you and Sarah?”

  “Fine, as always.” Linda hesitated, a pause that, even on the other end of the line, Abe could sense was significant. He waited, wondering what troubled her. Linda or Sarah called at irregular but fairly frequent intervals, a few times a month at least, making sure he was okay and nothing had cropped up with regards to the cabin. If it had, Abe would’ve told them at once, but he appreciated the calls.

  “I’ve got something to tell you,” he offered into the silence, “but it sounds like you do too. Want to go first?”

  Linda chuckled, the deep, rich chuckle that sounded odd when she was in the room because she was tiny and the sound seemed too big to match. “Perceptive as ever, darling. Look, there’s no easy way to say this, but we’re selling the cabin. Don’t think you’re a breath away from being tossed out into the snow, because you’re not. It’ll take a few months for it all to go through, if not longer, and I know your parents will put you up, but—”

  “Selling?” he repeated blankly. It was too much to take in. “But you love it here.”

  “It’s a beautiful spot, but I’m painted out. There. I said it. I need something new. We’ve found a place north of Vancouver, wild and desolate and God, the light on the water! It’s stunning. You’ve got to come and visit us. There’s no way we’re losing touch with you.”

  “Vancouver? Canada?”

  “You didn’t know Sarah was born in Manitoba?”

  “Yeah, but didn’t she leave when she was two?”

  “Even so, she’s Canadian, eh.” Linda chuckled again, though Abe suspected most Canadians wouldn’t find it all that amusing. “There’s no trouble at all about staying there for a short period, and if I like it, well, who knows. We might get married. Make honest women of each other.”

  “Congratulations,” he said absently, dealing with the way his placid life had been disrupted. He’d thought Gary was the stone flung into still water, but even if Gary hadn’t turned up, everything would’ve changed for him this week.

  “Well, don’t go looking for an invitation anytime soon, but if it happens, you’ll be there. Don’t worry.”

  Being invited to a potential wedding sometime in the future wasn’t something he would worry about under any circumstances
. He grunted something polite, then cleared his throat. “I can’t say I’m glad to hear this. I’ll miss you both, and I’ll miss living here.”

  It was true. Spring would be there in a few months, the trees greening over, new leaves unfurling to paint the woods a hundred different shades of the same color, wildflowers bright in the fields. He’d miss living out here in the middle of it all.

  Linda replied instantly, her voice warm. “Having you there looking after the place—I can’t tell you how safe it’s made us feel. If I thought for a minute you’d come, I’d ask you to do the same for us in the new place, but you seem so rooted where you are.”

  “Not entirely.” He turned his head, alerted by a noise, and saw Gary in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his face blank. He’d put on a shirt that hung unbuttoned, framing his body. Gary’s erection had subsided, but Abe still had plenty to look at. “I told you I had some news, remember? You’re calling to fire me—”

  “No! It’s not like that.”

  “And I planned to call you later to quit,” he finished.

  “What?” Linda laughed. “Seriously? You’re not saying that to make me feel less guilty?”

  “Seriously. In fact, I need to leave tomorrow on a short trip. I’ll be back in a week, maybe less, and stay here until everything’s sorted out, though.”

  “I don’t know what to say. This is a shock.”

  Abe sympathized with her. He’d just experienced the same jolt, as the long-settled pattern of his life suddenly started to whirl and rearrange itself. “Yeah, I know.”

  A silence fell, one he didn’t break. He pictured Linda, frowning to herself, plucking at her lower lip with her finger and thumb—unless Sarah was around to stop her.

  “Do you want to tell me where you’re going?” Linda asked. “I don’t want to pry, but you know if you’re in any difficulty, we’d be happy to help.”

  He caught Gary’s eye. Did he want to tell Linda or not? He settled for a vague answer. “It’s complicated, but in a good way.”

  “That means it’s romantic.” He could tell she was smiling from the lilt in her voice. “Well, Valentine’s Day isn’t that far off. Where did you meet him?”