MissionSRX: Confessions of the First War

by Matthew D. White

  “Not yet. I didn’t want to cause a panic, and they deserve a few moments to rest.”

  I felt as if I had seen all of this coming. “What do you want me to do?” I asked.

  “Move all of your fighters here onto my missile frigate. I’ve got it packed with everything it can carry. It is the fastest ship in the entire human fleet. If I cut corners, we can be home in days, not weeks. The rest of the fleet will follow to reinforce us, but we may be there alone. Can you help defend earth?”

  “Without a doubt. As long as you leave someone here to clean up this system, I’ll go. I’m not about to have them rebuild in our absence.”

  “Excellent, we sure can. I assume your wing is already on board.” I nodded. “Excellent.” The admiral replied. “We are launching at once.”

  I don’t remember much of our flight back. We cleaned up our ships and ourselves. After repairs were done we reloaded every weapon and went over all of the recordings from the previous battles. I noticed few places we could have done better, but they all cost pilots their lives. Now that we had a working knowledge of their tactics, I felt more prepared to face them again.

  Our experimental gunboat was docked, in its entirety, in the hold of the frigate. The squadron’s remaining fighters were spaced on the deck before it, creating an awesome sight. Rows of support equipment were along the walls and as I walked by I could feel the tension in the room.

  The time was growing short and I made a hike up the gunboat’s loading plank into our hangar. Spread across the rear wall were the remains of thirteen wrecked SR-2 fighters, or at least the pieces my men were able to recover.

  In the dead center of the room were placed thirteen matching flag draped coffins, holding those who had fallen. There had been no ceremony for them and the entire place was silent and empty, save for a single man seated on a wooden crate before them. From the flight suit, I recognized him as one of mine. When only a few meters away I was able to identify him as Captain Johnson, who now held his head in his hands.

  “Captain, how are holding up?” I inquired as I approached.

  “Commander!” he exclaimed, obviously not hearing my approach and moved to his feet.

  “It’s alright.” I answered and sat down beside him. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’ve been better,” he replied. “I thought I was past feeling anything in the presence of death, but I was wrong.”

  I looked over at the flag-draped boxes. “I know what you mean, but they did all they needed to do; everything I asked them. Before each one of them fell, they took a thousand of our enemies with them. Because of each of their sacrifices, ten thousand lives will be saved.”

  The captain’s eyes were glassed over and I could see he was bordering on shock.

  “Sam, we’re at the end. Tomorrow we are taking them on right in earth’s orbit and we’re going to give ‘em hell the likes of which they’ve never seen.”

  Johnson shot me a quizzical glance. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use anyone’s first name. I didn’t even think you knew them.”

  “I know all of your names. I learned them back when I first met you. Actually, I couldn’t forget them even if I wanted to.” I added; glad to have made at least a minimal connection. I could see in his eyes that he was out of shock but now deep in thought.

  “Sir, can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Everyone I know has lost friends and family members in the war but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who turned it into a drive like you have. How…”

  “Well, my wife and daughter were all that I had. Allison was my best friend. She was my world. She thought so highly of me. I owed her my life, but I never got the chance. I failed her.”

  “That’s all very easy to say. You said the same thing when you recruited me. Care to elaborate, one man with a death sentence to another.”

  I looked at him square in his eyes. I knew where this was going to lead. “If you ever speak a word of this to anyone, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

  He nodded.

  “Good. No one in the Corps knows what I am about to tell you. I’ve never told anyone before. I’m telling you now just so you know where I’m coming from.” I paused momentarily and took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. “I first met Allison while visiting my parents while home for Christmas during college. By the following summer we were fairly good friends but to that point had never dated. I had spent an afternoon with my then-best friend Dan. We had been throwing a football around the backyard for an hour or so until it got dark, then proceeded to shoot the shit in the garage.” I briefly looked over at the caskets before continuing.

  “We were on our way inside when he turned on me. From one of his pockets he pulled out a small black electric tazer and drove it into my sternum. The shock stopped my heart and I didn’t even feel myself fall.” I swallowed hard and fought back a tear. “The police report said that he then went into the house and shot both of my parents and younger brother with a high powered revolver before exiting out the back door.”

  “Jesus…” Johnson mumbled, his eyes widening.

  “On the other side of the property, Allie was jogging along our country road to come join us. She heard the three shots and ran as hard as she could to make sure everything was alright. She found me in the garage and gave me CPR to the point of exhaustion before I came back… Let me tell you, returning from oblivion is the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. I remember shooting awake and seeing nothing but her kneeling beside me. I wrapped my arms around her, held on for dear life and she did the same. She told me later that she had never seen anyone with eyes so wide.”

  “Several police officers arrived later. Before coming over that day, Dan had shot his entire family as well. They never found him and never figured out his motive. From then on, Allison was all I had.”

  I paused again. “I had never felt that lost before but when we were together, I felt more at peace than I ever thought possible. She was the best friend I ever had and so much more than I could have ever asked for. I redoubled all of my efforts for us to succeed. It didn’t matter what the job was, I’d meet it with joy. Even through the pain of my loss those were some of the happiest days of my life. To be in love with her was heaven on earth.”

  “At some level I knew I owed her my life and it would take me the rest of my life to repay her. She insisted I do no such thing but to ignore that is far from my makeup. I did it all for us. Later when our daughter Stephanie was born I was again determined to give her a blessed life like I never had.”

  I took a few deep breaths before continuing. “By the end Allison had placed me on a pedestal higher than anyone else just as I did to her. She trusted me with her life; she was my best friend… And I still failed her. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t even save our daughter.”

  “Well, it’s not like you said goodbye forever. You do believe that you’ll see them again, don’t you?”

  I shook my head. “Look around you. God doesn’t give salvation to monsters like me. The man that I was is long dead. This is just the damned epilogue to my life.” I could feel tears coming ever closer. “I wish I could tell you that this was the worst thing I did out here.” I shook my head. “Not by a long shot.”

  “I’m sorry,” he replied. “The sixty of us, we really are the only family any of us have left.”

  My brow furrowed more at the mention of those I had lost. “Yeah. Just stick with me one more day, I’ll see us through.”

  I stayed in the hangar until long after Captain Johnson retired for the evening. The deafening silence in the room around me added to the discomfort that had been welling inside me since my war began. I felt for the first time a sense of responsibility, honor, pride, and on top of that, remorse for those I lost. In my thoughts, I didn’t even see Colonel Black approach from his ship.

  “Commander, you alright?” he asked, and crouched beside me.

  “I think so.” I lied an
d nodded. “I think the reality of all this is finally hitting me.”

  “There’s your problem; don’t be thinking: just act. You can think later,” he said and smiled, “What’s troubling you?”

  “I don’t know.” I answered, “I feel afraid. I don’t know if I can lead anyone else to oblivion.” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “That’s called being human. That’s the right we’re fighting for. If you’re not willing to embrace what makes us so, then you’re right; you can’t and shouldn’t be here,” he paused and smiled again, “But, I wouldn’t have followed you if I didn’t think you had the courage. Trust me; you’ve got everything it takes.”

  “Thank you.” I acknowledged him. “Really, I appreciate that. I’ve made more terrible decisions these last few years for the wrong reasons than I’d like to remember. I don’t feel like I deserve anything at all.”

  “Get rid of those thoughts.” Black responded, “I know you’ve lived for revenge, but that’s only a small piece of what really matters. Live with honor, fight for what is right; for our right to survive. You’ll never avenge your family fully in your mind and that will only consume you in the end. Remember them. Honor their lives in yours and fight for the rest of those living and otherwise.”

  I shook my head. The colonel had heard everything I had just said.

  “Really, you don’t think I’m that bad?”

  He looked perplexed. “Hell no,” he looked back at me. “There’s no one I’ve met in battle that I’d trust more than you.”

  “Even if tomorrow I lead you, me and everyone we know to our deaths?”

  Black responded succinctly with the slightest edge of his lip curling into a smirk, glancing away to the ship beside us, swathed in shadow but still shimmering blood red. “We die proud.”

  All of the motivation in the universe couldn’t change the magnitude of the situation. I spent the rest of the night on the ground beside the coffins as the only tribute I could assemble for my former brothers. No roll call, no rocket-fuel-whiskey. The human side of me shuddered to think of what was to come. The rest grinned in dark anticipation.

  42

  As we made the final jump into earth’s orbit, my wing was already stationed in the bay and ready to fly. The jump took minutes instead of hours and we soon found ourselves in a high orbit above earth one last time. By the time we arrived, the existing defenders of earth were already in battle with the missing alien fleet.

  The surviving members of the Crimson Elite Fighter Squadron formed a ring around me in the launching bay. Before me stood a group of men whom I could not have been more proud. We were surrounded on one side by the fighters ready to launch, the twisted wreckages of our fallen, and their caskets of remains.

  “My dear friends,” I began, “it is regrettable that we have been selected to live in such a dark time for earth. Regrettable, yes, for the pain, but remember that we have been called forward as the finest soldiers alive to defend our home. Together we have suffered greatly as a species but not nearly enough to end us. Even if the universe sent its very worst against us, I would never lose faith in our resolve. They’ve come to earth to break us, but they have made their final mistake!”

  I could feel my blood raging, as if the words were coming from some deep reserve within me. I became more animated, as did my squadron. “Tonight, 12 billion people will sleep soundly because our enemy will be vanquished for the last time! Today the freaks will pay for every drop of blood! Make no mistake, today we fight and we will WIN!” A thunderous cheer erupted from around me. The energy fueled us as we ran to our ships and powered up.

  We came out of the jump and launched from the far side of the planet. While the admiral’s frigate moved in to engage from the front, I took my squadron the other way around the planet, dropping near the surface to escape detection. We passed through earth’s atmosphere and struggled to keep our speed up in the drag-rich environment.

  Momentarily I slowed as we passed high above the Pacific Ocean. We had caught a final sunset lighting up the entire horizon in hues of orange and red. “Standby.” I commanded and dropped my speed down again to just above stalling. I took a chance and opened the canopy above my head. It slid straight back out of the way, creating little air resistance and I stood for a moment, feeling the air on my face one last time.

  I may have been an orphan for the last few years but this was the closest I got to being home. Even through all of my adventures, I still believed that the earth was unique in the entire universe. And if by some chance there was another, there certainly was no chance to find a way to match humanity.

  We finished our little intermission with the sunset and completed the circuit around the planet, escaping back into the darkness of space. Even though the sun was still shining, space was a dark place and chilling to the bone. Pushing aside all extraneous thoughts, I watched the ensuing confusion unfold on my monitors. Heddings had dispatched every fighter on the ship, and the field was consumed by dozens of defense platforms, human and alien battleships and hundreds of fighters.

  They all fit the profile of the craft we had engaged before so I again divvied up the targets.

  “Everyone listen up. They don’t have anything new.” I picked up two battleships close to us. “Alpha, follow me, we’re attacking from positive Z. Bravo, take number two from Neg. Z. Charlie, Delta, you’re blocking. I want a 30 degree spread between you. The targets are the capital ships, but don’t spare a fighter if you get the chance.”

  I led Alpha and flanked from above the plane while the rest of went into the fray below us.

  Even with their numerous defeats, the aliens still had sheer numbers going for them, even if they had little else. While our fighters could outmaneuver them easily, they outnumbered us 10 to one. Not willing to accept defeat at any cost, we fought on. I continued to direct my wing as we took our casualties along with the rest of the fleet.

  Slowly the maelstrom of battle thinned and the tide began to turn.

  “Grant we may have a problem out here.” Delta’s commander was cleaning up a mass of fighters on the edge of the engagement far away from the human fleet.

  “What have you got?”

  “I honestly don’t know. It’s a single ship but it doesn’t match any profile.

  “What’s its size? Armament?”

  “Smaller than a carrier. So far it hasn’t engaged us with anything… Wait, it’s deploying something fighter-sized but they’re still out of range.”

  “Follow it. I’ll be backing you up.” I called up the others. “Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, finish up, we’re moving to help Delta. They’ve got something new out there.”

  The comm. channel lit up from Delta. “Jesus those things are fast! Their fighters; I can barely get a lock on them.”

  “Got one… what the hell? It’s still flying. Hey, these things aren’t even firing yet!”

  I gunned my engines faster, digesting what I was hearing. “Stick with it. Don’t let them go!”

  “Taking fire! Taking fire!” One of Delta’s pilots shouted. “It just shot a probe into my ship. I can see it through the cannons to the right… looks like it’s deploying antennas or something.”

  Other pilots keyed up their mikes reporting similar encounters. As I got closer, the communication channel for all of Delta lit up like a blazing fire.

  “My screen’s dead! I smell something burning in the console.”

  “What the hell, my controls aren’t responding. I can’t move, can’t fire!”

  One by one, they lost control of their ships. Each one had the same experience. The symptoms were the same. They lost all weapon functions followed moments later by their ships flying dead, as if they were being drug along by an unseen force. They engaged each other, began to shoot wildly trying to knock one another out of the sky.

  “Squadrons, they’re trying to take control of our ships. Keep away from the fighters, don’t let them tag you.”

  I gripped my c
ontrols tighter, thinking it could come for me at any time. In a ditch effort I rallied the few remaining members of my wing to attack the unknown ship, in the hopes that it would save us. We went full out of the solar plane, then back behind the mysterious ship.

  We were now straight out from earth, with the remnants of the alien fleet between us. More fighters came in for us and we continually fought them off. My wingmen lost their control as well and I found myself trying to work through their technical issues. Through the friendly and enemy blasts, I saw one of the pods land square on my wing. “Oh shit, I’ve got one on me too!” I felt the controls shimmy and I fought to retain my course.

  From the corner of my eye I could see the antennas deploy from its top. I knew it was only a matter of time until I was left drifting. “Get word back to the fleet about this. They’ve got to get a defense together.”

  “Sir, long range communications are gone!” Charlie’s commander radioed back.

  “I’m not going down like this. Do what you can to help, I’m taking that ship!” I kept on course and retained full control. I looked back to my wing and saw the pod start billowing smoke. “Hey, the pod on me just caught fire.” Down on my console, the log opened and a new entry appeared. ‘Parasite detected. All threats eliminated.’

  I did a double take. Somehow my ship could defend itself against the attack. I thought back to Dr. Jacobs’ describing the layout and the incorporation of alien technology. I wondered if he knew what he had done, or if it was by luck that he saved my neck. “I’m good to go. Commencing attack!”

  At once, every one of them opened fire on me and it was all I could do to avoid the blasts. My screens dimmed for a moment then several panels on the outside of my fighter blew apart, as if overloaded by a powerful electric surge. I smelled an electrical fire but I still had control. Maybe Jacobs’ didn’t do a perfect job after all.

  Or maybe he did. I looked again and realized I’d been taking fire from my wingmen. “Look out!” one of the pilots shouted as his ship came about and tried to gun me down. I swerved to the side with no time to spare. The shots came between my canopy and the sensor probe less than two meters above.