Battlefield of the Heart

by E. A. West

  So much for getting him to open up. But she could see he’d suffered terribly by having her witness his reaction to a helicopter. “Just know that I’m here if you ever do want to talk.”

  “I do.” He sat up and embraced her, holding her close. “You’re sweet to put up with me and my problems.”

  She hugged him tightly. “Sweetness has nothing to do with it. I care about you, Danny.”

  He didn’t respond, but his knotted muscles began to relax. When he released her and sat back, his face showed no sign that anything out of the ordinary had happened. Only his familiar haunted gaze remained. How much time did he spend remembering the things that had traumatized him? Going by that haunted shadow, the majority of his waking hours. Of course, he’d admitted to regular nightmares, which indicated he didn’t get relief even when asleep. How did he survive?

  He touched her cheek, a hint of a smile curving his lips. “Quit analyzing me. I get enough of that from my parents.”

  Her face heated. “Sorry. I was just thinking how strong a person you must be.”

  He let his hand fall away with a bitter laugh. “I hit the dirt because a helicopter flew over, and you think I’m strong? No offense, but it’s a good thing you’re still in school if you believe that’s an intelligent conclusion.”

  She stared at him, irritation at his attitude threatening to surface. Drawing in a calming breath, she reminded herself that it was the PTSD talking, not Danny. That didn’t mean she had to let him get away with insulting her, however. “Danny, there’s no way to not feel offended by that statement. But you are strong. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have survived as well as you have.”

  “Basic survival is about all I have.” He looked away and sighed, then he returned his gaze to her and spoke in a gentler tone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. But honestly, my only strength comes from God. Without Him, I’d be hiding in a corner waiting for a bomb to go off.”

  She laid her hand on his knee, praying he’d feel the strength she saw in him. “You’re not in that corner. You’re in college and leading a fairly normal life. That’s why I say you’re strong.”

  “Maybe.” He covered her hand with his, the warmth of his skin against hers making her pulse race. “Of course, if I’m strong, you have to admit you’re sweet.”

  She smiled, glad to see his own sweet side peeking out again. “Okay, I’ll admit it.”

  “Good.” He rose and helped her to her feet. “Now, let’s take the trail down to the river and hope no more triggers show up. It’s much easier to relax and enjoy the afternoon with you if I’m not expecting to die any second.”

  They retrieved his camera and left the Fiddle Back Mound. As they followed a trail downhill, Cindy prayed the rest of the afternoon would remain peaceful. Seeing Danny react so violently to something as mundane as the sound of a helicopter was something she hoped would never happen again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dr. Brixton caught Cindy as she left his class Friday afternoon. “How’s your term paper coming?”

  “It’s going well. I’ve learned a lot about the difficulties the veterans face when going to college, but I’m also trying to include the ways they’re like every other student. I’ve realized a lot of people tend see them only as veterans and give no thought to the fact that their military service is only one part of who they are. I’m ashamed to say I did the same thing until I spent time with the veterans’ group.”

  He smiled and nodded. “I’m glad to hear you’re learning and growing through your research. You’ve chosen a fascinating topic with so many facets you could spend years studying them all.”

  “So I’ve noticed,” she said with a laugh. “My main concern is keeping it narrow enough that I can cover it in twenty-five pages yet broad enough that I don’t leave out something important.”

  “That’s the key, isn’t it?” Dr. Brixton picked up his briefcase, and they headed for the door. “Let me know if you need help.”

  “I will. Thanks, Dr. Brixton.” Cindy stepped into the hall and turned toward the exit as her professor went the opposite direction.

  Thoughts of her paper filled her mind as she walked across campus. Tonight was the student veterans’ group dinner to raise money for care packages. She’d volunteered to help with it, and now she wondered if the reactions of the dinner attendees could be fodder for her paper. One thing she’d figured out in the last few weeks was that the political opinions of other people affected the student veterans, whether those opinions were aimed directly at the veterans or not. In particular, opinions about the War on Terror and how the government was handling it made for some interesting conversations.

  Cindy dropped off her backpack in her dorm room and grabbed the tote bag holding shorts, tank top, and sandals. Moments later she hurried back across campus to meet Lacey and Josh for a ride to the community center.

  Josh waited by the steps leading to a side entrance of the student union. He grinned as Cindy joined him.

  “Not wearing your outfit?”

  She patted the tote bag over her shoulder. “I have it right here. The weather’s a little cool for what you guys told me I have to wear, so I’ll just change once we get there.” She studied him, wondering if he would satisfy her curiosity. “Why do I have to wear shorts and a tank top? Danny refused to explain it to me.”

  He chuckled. “You’ll find out when we get there.”

  Before she could come up with a suitable response, Lacey arrived wearing an ankle-length muumuu and a cardigan.

  “Let’s go!” she said. “I’ve got some cooking to do.”

  Cindy fell into step beside her as they walked with Josh to his car. “What are you cooking?”

  “A couple of kinds of salad and some corn. Monique is in charge of everything else, but she has plenty of help.”

  Cindy glanced at Josh, noting his mischievous grin, and had a horrible thought. “You guys aren’t going to make me wear a coconut bra, are you?”

  “Danny thought we should just so he could see you in it.” He unlocked his car and opened the door. “I think Monique overruled him on it.”

  “Remind me to thank her,” Cindy said as she climbed into the backseat.

  Lacey laughed and took the front passenger seat as Josh slid behind the wheel. “Even if the guys decide all the women should wear coconut bras, I’m exempt. They know I’d hurt them if they tried to get me in one.”

  Josh chuckled and started the engine. “And Matt would be in line right behind you.”

  When they arrived at the community center, he parked behind the building with Danny’s truck and several other vehicles. Cindy followed him and Lacey inside, hearing talking and laughter before they reached the room the group had rented. They stepped through the open double doors and into a partially decorated luau. Danny stood on a ladder in the center of the room, hanging streamers. He sent Cindy a warm smile and finished with the streamer in his hand, then he climbed down and joined her as Josh and Lacey headed off to take care of their tasks.

  Danny put his hands on Cindy’s waist and drew her close for a kiss. “Ready to help transform this place into Hawaii?”

  “Sure, but only if you promise I don’t have to wear coconuts.”

  He released her with a laugh. “I see Josh has been talking. No, the coconuts were nixed by Monique. She didn’t want Corbin getting any ideas for her costume.”

  “I love that woman.” Cindy grinned and set her bag on an uncovered folding table. “So, what do you want me to do?”

  “How about you help decorate the tables? Delario volunteered to do it, but he’s not quite big enough to do the tablecloths alone. The centerpieces might need a little discreet rearranging after he finishes with them, too.”

  “No problem. Point me to the decorating supplies and my young assistant.”

  Danny directed her to the stack of boxes in the far corner. Delario was already pawing through one of the smaller cardboard boxes. He turned as Cindy approached and held
up a fake pineapple. “Look, Cindy! We can put pineapples on the tables.”

  “Awesome!” She smiled at his exuberance, and then turned her attention to the rest of the decorating supplies. Candles in glass holders, silk flowers, plastic tablecloths… Ideas for arrangements flowed like water in her mind as Delario talked a mile a minute about how cool the tables were going to look when they were done.

  About an hour before the doors opened to diners, Cindy straightened the last pineapple and flower centerpiece and headed for the restroom to change into her shorts and tank top. When she returned to the dining room, Danny ran his gaze over her and lifted an eyebrow.

  “Something’s missing.”

  She followed him to a large cardboard box by the kitchen door. What could she be missing when she wore what the guys had told her to? Danny pulled out a grass skirt and held it up.

  “This should do it.” He helped her tie it around her waist then he stepped back and reached into the box again. This time, he pulled out a lei made of realistic fake flowers. He slipped it over her head and kissed her cheek. “Now, you’re ready.”

  “I’m glad you approve,” she said, flashing him a smile. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go get a hula lesson or the dinner show is going to be a little difficult.”

  In the kitchen, Monique taught her the simple dance between issuing last-minute instructions to her kitchen helpers, and then they rehearsed it twice all the way through.

  “I think you’ve got it,” Monique said, giving Cindy’s shoulder a squeeze. “Now you just have to remember it for the next hour or so, and we’ll be set.”

  “That’s the tricky part, but I can handle it.” Cindy glanced at the clock hanging above the door. “I’d better get back out there. With my luck, someone will show up early.”

  Monique laughed and turned to answer a question from one of her helpers. Cindy returned to the dining room and found the guys dressed in Hawaiian print shirts. Danny stood on the platform at the back of the room, adjusting a palm tree that had appeared while she was in the kitchen. Corbin limped over to her and handed her a large box of plastic leis.

  “These should keep you going for a while. If you run out, let me know.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Cindy gave him a questioning look. “What’s with the limp?”

  He gave her a mock pained look and used a stereotyped old-man voice. “It’s my war wounds acting up. I remember one time I was in the jungles of some little island in the Pacific, and angry natives surrounded my platoon. I single-handedly took—”

  Josh looked over from lighting candles on the tables nearby. “You’re so full of it. You’re also the only person to find a Pacific island jungle in a Middle Eastern desert.”

  Corbin laughed and dropped the fake voice. “Man, I almost had her convinced, too.”

  Cindy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

  “You know, my wife never believes those stories either.” Corbin’s grin faded, and he shifted his weight. “Okay, that story might have been bull, but the real reason for the limp is my war wound. My ankle is killing me, but don’t tell Monique. She’ll make me sit out the dinner.”

  Although tempted to tell him sitting down would be a good idea if he hurt that much, she doubted it would go over well. She had another idea he might agree to, however. “You’re supposed to be one of the servers, right?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Trade me jobs. I’ll serve so you don’t have to walk as much, and you can hand out leis to everyone who comes in. I saw a stool in the kitchen I could drag out here if you want a place to sit. That way, you’ll still be helping make the dinner a success, and you won’t have to deal with quite as much pain.”

  Corbin started to protest, and Josh joined them. “It’s a good plan, and you know Monique’s going to see that limp and make you sit down anyway. You might as well beat her to it and keep her from worrying so much.”

  “I hate it when I’m defeated by logic.” Corbin sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “Okay, I’ll trade you jobs. I’m not doing your hula dance, though. You and Monique are on your own.”

  Cindy grinned, relieved he didn’t seem to be too down about the change in plans. “Aw, I wanted to get all of you guys in grass skirts. Where am I going to get my blackmail photos now?”

  “I guess you’ll just have to do without them.” He lifted the box of leis from her arms. “Josh can explain your job to you.”

  She watched him limp toward the entrance, then she turned to Josh. “So, what am I doing?”

  “Once we start serving, you’ll get food from the kitchen and bring it out to the tables,” he said, moving to light more candles. “After everyone’s been served, just keep an eye on the tables and make sure everyone has what they need. If someone’s glass is getting low, offer to refill it. If a table looks like they need more rolls, go get a fresh basket.”

  “Basically, do the same thing I’ve done at every other dinner I’ve helped with.”

  Josh lifted his eyebrows with a smile. “Ah, you have experience. Yeah, just do that, and you should be fine.”

  ****

  Everyone agreed the dinner was a huge success. The guests enjoyed themselves and the food, the donations had been generous, and Cindy and Monique’s hula had received plenty of applause. Once they finished the cleanup, Cindy changed back into her jeans and sweatshirt. As she walked with Danny out to his truck, she slipped her hand into his.

  He gave it a squeeze. “You do one awesome hula.”

  “Monique was better.”

  They stopped by the truck, and Danny put his hands on Cindy’s waist, drawing her toward him. “I only had eyes for you. For all I know, Monique was square dancing with that palm tree.”

  She laughed softly. “That is an interesting mental image.”

  “I thought you’d like it.” He gave her a kiss then turned to unlock his truck.

  When they arrived back on campus, Cindy dropped her bag off in her room, and then she and Danny went for a walk through the quad. She took a deep breath of the cool fall air, enjoying the time with the man quickly stealing her heart. If only he’d talk to her about whatever had been bothering him since their trip to Mounds State Park.

  She grabbed his hand and smiled when he glanced at her. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Nothing, really.” He shrugged and looked around the vacant quad. “It’s a nice night.”

  “Yes, it is.” How many more times could he deny thinking about anything and change the subject? After a few more steps, she tried again. “Are you sure you don’t have anything on your mind? You seem kind of — I don’t know — tense or worried or something.”

  He gave her a tight smile. “I’m fine.”

  She knew he was lying; the haunted shadow in his eyes gave him away. Unfortunately, God didn’t seem to be in any hurry to answer her prayers for Danny to open up.

  Danny remained silent as they strolled along the paved paths. She wished she could force him to tell her what was on his mind, but he was a stubborn man, even when it wasn’t in his best interest. All she could do until he decided to let her in on his thoughts was spend time with him and pray he soon realized the only way to have a healthy relationship was through communication.

  Back at the dorm, he walked her upstairs. They stopped in the vacant lobby for a little privacy, since Leann was probably in the room and it was late enough that the girls on the hall would be doing their nightly back and forth between rooms and showers.

  “I’m really glad you were there tonight,” he said, stepping close.

  “I had a lot of fun.”

  “I think everyone did.” He looked at her for a long moment, his gray eyes full of warmth. “You are such a sweet woman.”

  She smiled as attraction charged the air around them. He put his hands on her waist, drew her close, and kissed her. When she draped her arms over his shoulders, he deepened the kiss. He backed her against the wall, one hand in her hair, the other at her waist. As he moved even cl
oser, his strength and the warmth of his body against hers made her uncomfortable. Heart pounding, she put her hands on his shoulders and applied light pressure as he started to kiss her neck.

  “Danny.”

  “Hmm?” He continued kissing her, pressing against her as though he couldn’t get close enough.

  She applied more pressure. “Danny, stop it.”

  He lifted his head, his eyes only a few inches from hers as he met her gaze. Fear flashed through his eyes, and he released her, backing away. “I am so sorry.”

  Cindy stepped away from the wall as he turned toward the hall. “Wait.”

  He didn’t give any indication he heard her as he disappeared through the door. Moisture blurred her vision. What had he been afraid of? To have him look at her like that and walk away worried her, especially since it came on top of something bothering him that he wouldn’t talk about.

  Oh, Father, be with him. Comfort him. Protect him.

  She went into the hall and discovered it empty, so she opened the stairwell door. Listening carefully, she didn’t hear anyone above or below her. She hurried down to the second floor, praying Danny had gone to his room.

  There was no reply when she knocked, and she didn’t hear anyone inside. She headed back to the stairs; maybe he’d answer his cell phone. He needed to know she was worried about him, not angry. As she opened the door, the scuff of a footstep sounded behind her. Turning around, she found Danny standing uncertainly several feet away, his features pale.

  She let the stairwell door swing shut and walked toward him. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded and took a hesitant step forward. “I’m so sorry, Cindy. I just—” He ran his hand through his hair and looked at the floor. “There’s no excuse for the way I treated you up there.”