Forgotten Passion

by Penny Jordan

  His hand slid down her naked back, tracing the shape of her spine, his free arm imprisoning her so that there was no way she could escape the tormenting caress.

  ‘I can see when I’m not wanted!’ Leigh chuckled, making for the door. ‘We’ll talk together later, honey,’ he said to Lisa.

  ‘One word, just one word to make him think that we’re not blissfully reconciled and I’ll make you sorry you were ever born!’ Rorke threatened when the door closed behind his father.

  ‘You’ve already done that,’ Lisa sniped back at him, pulling away. ‘And anyway, I wouldn’t dream of hurting Leigh. He means a great deal to me.’

  ‘Oh, sure,’ Rorke agreed cynically, ‘so much that you simply walked out on him without so much as a word!’

  ‘I wrote him a letter,’ Lisa protested, but Rorke brushed aside her claim, anger chilling his eyes as he surveyed her flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

  ‘You look innocent enough,’ he muttered beneath his breath, ‘but we both know how deceptive appearances can be, don’t we, Lisa? Just tell me one thing,’ he was breathing harshly, and she could see the tension in his muscles as he crossed the room and came towards her. ‘If I hadn’t taxed you with the truth would you have let me make love to you?’

  ‘Why not?’ she threw at him wildly, ‘I’d married you hadn’t I?’

  ‘And Peters didn’t mind?’

  ‘Why should he?’ Lisa retorted coolly. ‘Mike knew the truth.’

  ‘He couldn’t have thought very much of you, Lisa, if he let you leave his arms for mine—but then we both know that he didn’t, don’t we? Otherwise he would have married you.’

  ‘You’re despicable, Rorke!’ Lisa told him, choking out the words. ‘You measure everyone by your own standards and because of that you can’t recognise the truth when you hear it. You were my only lover, Robbie is your child.’

  ‘I’ll give you ten out of ten for persistence anyway,’ he muttered as he thrust past her. ‘What are you hoping to do, Lisa? Wear me down by constant repetition? It can’t have been easy bringing him up on your own, despite the help I’m sure you’ve received over the years from your lovers. Perhaps you’re just beginning to realise that marriage does have its compensations after all, mm? You shouldn’t have run out on me.’

  ‘You didn’t give me much option, as I recall,’ Lisa retorted coldly. ‘And now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to finish getting dressed.’

  ‘Feel free.’ His bored glance slid over her exposed skin. ‘That’s a very sexy dress, Lisa, as I’m sure you know, but when I remember what lies under your undoubtedly alluring skin, somehow it turns me off.’

  Lisa heard his whistling as he turned on the shower. Her fingers were trembling as she pulled up her zipper and put on her make-up. She checked quickly on Robbie before putting on her shoes. The little boy was fast asleep. She was still trembling with a mixture of anger, and something she was forced to admit could only be thwarted desire when she went downstairs.

  She found Leigh in the drawing room—alone.

  ‘Ah, Lisa, my dear, you look lovely,’ he complimented her as she kissed his cheek. ‘Where’s Rorke?’

  ‘Still getting ready.’

  ‘And you didn’t wait for him because you knew it was only likely to delay him even more,’ Leigh teased. ‘Oh, my dear,’ he continued emotively, ‘I can’t tell you what it means to have you back here, to see you reconciled with Rorke. And Robbie—an added bonus for a man who thought he’d never live to see his grandchildren. Lisa, why didn’t you write to us, tell us that you were safe at least? Rorke nearly went out of his mind! He searched the length and breadth of St Lucia for you before he discovered that you’d flown to England. He went after you, but he couldn’t trace you.’

  He wouldn’t have been able to, Lisa acknowledged. She had changed her name, booking into a small boarding house that didn’t worry about such formalities as seeing passports, and she had paid cash, using some of the money she had changed at the airport. Then, she had been too bitterly hurt to care whether Rorke came after her or not, and then, later when she did care, it had been too late.

  ‘You never touched your allowance,’ Leigh reproached. ‘You never even told us about Robbie.’

  ‘I wrote to you,’ Lisa told him. ‘My letter must have gone astray. I wanted you to know about Robbie—about what had happened.’ Her voice broke, tears flooding her eyes. Dear God, she mustn’t cry now, but it was too late, Leigh had seen her tears and she was in his arms. It frightened her to realise how frail he had become, and to think that she might in some part be responsible.

  ‘Your letter never reached us,’ he told her. ‘I was worried about you. I blamed myself for what happened. I could see how much Rorke wanted you. It was obvious from the way he looked at you, and just as obvious that he was fighting against it. He avoided being alone with you, but I loved you both so much, Lisa, and selfishly I wanted to keep you with me. I threw you both together. Rorke wanted you intensely, I could see that, and although you were so young I knew you cared for him.’ He sighed. ‘What I did was wrong, as Rorke has so often told me. You were a child, and Rorke was a fully grown man, it was inevitable, I suppose… He had restrained himself too much before the wedding… my fault again. Had you not been living here under my protection…’

  ‘He would simply have indulged in an affair with me and that would have been that,’ Lisa supplied dryly. ‘Oh, I have no illusions, Leigh,’ she continued honestly. ‘Rorke might have wanted me….’

  ‘Too much, perhaps,’ Leigh interrupted sadly, ‘and because of that; because he had been forced to keep his feelings on such a tight rein, he frightened you and you ran away.’

  ‘He told you that?’ Lisa was amazed.

  Leigh shrugged, ‘Not in so many words. He didn’t need to. I taxed him with it when he returned without you, and he didn’t deny it. It must have come as quite a shock to you to discover you were having his child. Didn’t you even think of coming home then, Lisa?’

  ‘Many times,’ she agreed honestly, ‘but somehow I just couldn’t.’

  ‘No, you always were a proud little thing. But you’re back now, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me.’

  ‘Does it mean enough for you to have your operation?’ Rorke asked quietly from the door. Neither of them had heard him enter and they both spun round like guilty children.

  ‘Rorke, I’m too tired and too old,’ Leigh protested. ‘What can a few more years of life mean to me now?’

  ‘A great deal, I should think. In five years Robbie will change from a little boy to a growing adult. In ten he’ll be fifteen. And perhaps there’ll be other children.’ He crossed the room and took Lisa in his arms, a teasing glint lightening the darkness of his eyes.

  ‘If I’m so successful at parenthood without even trying, think what I might be able to achieve if I do try! Aren’t there twins somewhere along the line in the family?’ he mused as Lisa bit back a protest. Her knees had gone strangely weak, her senses bemused by Rorke’s proximity. He had changed into formal dinner clothes and just for a moment she was tempted to ruffle the tidiness of his hair, to slide her fingers inside the crisp whiteness of his dress shirt. He was dangerous in this teasing mood. Against her will she could feel herself responding to him; wanting him, only this time without a teenager’s natural fear and apprehension.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Leigh was saying, but there was enough doubt in his voice for Rorke to glance triumphantly at Lisa, and say lightly, ‘Well let’s put it to Doctor James, shall we?’

  Dinner was a surprisingly pleasant meal. David Neale she knew from the past, and he had always been someone she liked, despite the fact that he was Helen’s uncle, and neither of their guests made any reference to the past, or Lisa’s unexpected reappearance, which made it easy for her to behave naturally.

  Doctor James, of course, she didn’t know, but he was a pleasant, sturdy Scot with a dry sense of humour and an obvious concern for his patient.

  ‘
Rorke’s been on at me again to have that operation,’ Leigh commented abruptly during the course of the meal. Lisa looked queryingly at the doctor, wondering what his response would be.

  ‘Well, you know my views,’ Doctor James responded. ‘Life is always precious enough to risk hanging on to it. You have a fifty-fifty chance of coming through the operation—more if you continue to make the same progress you’ve been doing lately. You’ve been a real tonic to him,’ he told Lisa. ‘Far better than any of my pills and potions.’

  ‘Well, Lisa, what do you think?’ asked Leigh.

  ‘Perhaps I’m being selfish, in saying this, but I’m all for anything that keeps you with us Leigh, you know that.’

  ‘It looks very much as though I’m overruled,’ Leigh commented wryly, but Lisa could tell that he wasn’t entirely displeased. She even had a suspicion that he had already decided in favour of the operation anyway. Leigh had always been astute, and clever. Could he possibly have persuaded Doctor James to tell Rorke his health was worse than it was, in a bid to force Rorke to take her back? Leigh loved her, Lisa knew that. He also held marriage to be sacrosanct. He had fully accepted Robbie as his grandson, and for the first time Lisa faced the fact that if Leigh did have the operation, if he did recover, she and Rorke would be sentenced to a lifetime of misery together. But Rorke was his father all over again. He would never allow himself to be forced into any situation he didn’t want, at least not for long, and no doubt he already knew exactly what he was going to do to extricate himself from their marriage.

  One of the servants had just brought in the cheeseboard and a decanter of port, when Leigh signalled to him, murmuring something Lisa could not quite catch. The man beamed and hurried to the door, flinging it open to reveal Mama Case and the rest of the household.

  ‘Rorke, if you would do the honours.’ Leigh indicated several magnums of champagne on the trolley. ‘I bought this the year you were born, and I kept some of it to celebrate the birth of your first son. Unfortunately that was an event we missed.’ He sighed, and Lisa coloured guiltily, telling herself that really she had nothing to feel guilty for.

  ‘I want you all to drink with me now—not just Robbie, my grandson, but to Lisa and Rorke, his parents. May they always find their happiness in one another.’

  Everyone drank but Lisa found it hard to look suitably happy.

  ‘There’s something else.’

  Lisa could see the hectic colour staining Leigh’s pale face and she could tell that Rorke shared her concern. Too much excitement wasn’t good for him, he had told her.

  ‘As you all know, up until now Rorke has always been my heir. Events such as those I’ve lived through recently make a man all too aware of his mortality, and one of the reasons I’ve asked you to come here tonight is that I want you all to know that I’ve rewritten my will. The bulk of my estate—the management of the hotels still goes to Rorke, but ownership of the hotels he now shares with his son—Robbie is still far too young for such a responsibility, and so his mother will act for him until he comes of age.’

  An excited buzz of chatter broke out all around her, but Lisa barely heard it. What had Leigh done? Did he suspect that they were simply acting? Was this his way of ensuring that they were forced to stay together, or was it simply that he wanted to do something for Robbie, sensing perhaps that Rorke did not fully accept the little boy.

  She darted a glance at Rorke. He could not have known what his father had planned. His face was white with tension, his eyes hard as they met hers. He hadn’t known. Her heart started to beat erratically. Did he blame her? Did he think she had persuaded Leigh to alter his will?

  ‘Rorke, I can’t let your father do this,’ she said shakily. ‘I…’

  ‘Don’t say a word,’ Rorke warned her. ‘He thinks he’s pleasing you, Lisa, don’t spoil his pleasure. Do you want him to have another relapse? Look at him,’ he demanded harshly. ‘He isn’t well, Lisa. All that’s keeping him going is sheer guts and strength of will. He knows you too well. He’s frightened that you might run off again, so this time he’s keeping you tied here. You think too much of Robbie to deny the boy his inheritance.’

  ‘And you don’t mind?’

  He shrugged. ‘Why should I? There’s plenty to go round.’

  Half an hour later Doctor James suggested in a quiet aside to Lisa that it might be as well to bring the evening to a close.

  ‘He’s doing marvellously well, but he’s still very frail. Having you and the boy here has given him a new lease of life. By the way,’ he added thoughtfully, ‘you might as well bring the laddie down to the hospital one of these days. I take it he’s had all his inoculations?’

  ‘Most of them,’ Lisa agreed, ‘but there wasn’t time to have them all done before we left.’

  ‘Well, bring him down to see me,’ Doctor James reminded her, as he went to take his leave of his host.

  She had forgotten about Robbie’s booster injections in the panic of leaving England in such a hurry and was glad that Doctor James had reminded her. St Martins was, fortunately, free of tropical diseases, but it still wouldn’t hurt for him to have some form of protection. She had been remiss in not arranging for it herself, Lisa acknowledged.

  ‘You’re looking extremely thoughtful. Worrying about the responsibility of looking after Robbie’s inheritance, are you?’

  Lisa glared at Rorke. He had materialised at her side unexpectedly, his arm curving round her waist as though to proclaim their intimacy.

  ‘No, Dr James has just reminded me that Robbie needs to have some injections. I’d completely forgotten about it.’

  ‘And now you’re suffering from maternal pangs of guilt. You’re very protective of your child, Lisa.’

  ‘Perhaps because he’s all I’ve got,’ she responded hotly.

  ‘Whose fault is that? Have you tried reminding his father of his responsibilities towards him? I should have thought Peters would be proud to acknowledge Robbie as his son. He’s a fine boy, Lisa.’

  Was it her imagination or had his voice softened slightly? It gave her no satisfaction to know that Rorke was talking about his own child; trying to get the truth through to him was like beating her head against a brick wall, and she was tired of trying.

  She disengaged herself, pushing away his arm, and went over to where Leigh was talking to David Neale.

  ‘Ah, Lisa, my dear, I’m just on the point of leaving,’ the lawyer said with a smile. ‘It’s wonderful to see you back here. I’m glad you and Rorke were able to resolve your differences.’

  He was, but his niece didn’t share his feelings, Lisa thought bitterly, but then Helen knew the truth, and no doubt wasn’t worried in the slightest about Lisa’s presence in Rorke’s life.

  ‘I was just telling him he must come down and see Robbie,’ Leigh added. ‘He’s the image of Rorke at that age,’ he added to David Neale. ‘But unlike Rorke he’s fortunate in having a devoted mother. Elise didn’t really want children, and she always kept Rorke at a distance. He sensed it too. I remember whenever he fell over or hurt himself he would never cry in Elise’s presence, nor would he ever go voluntarily to her.’ He sighed. ‘It all seems such a long time ago now. Elise and I should never have married. Unlike you and Rorke, my dear,’ he said to Lisa. ‘You were made for one another. There’s only one thing I want now…’

  ‘Oh, what’s that?’ Rorke demanded, joining them at the tail end of the conversation.

  ‘A granddaughter who looks as much like her mother as my grandson does his father,’ Leigh told him simply.

  ‘Lisa forced herself to join in the general laughter that followed Leigh’s comment, allowing Rorke to put his arm round her waist as they walked with their guests to the front door.

  Rorke slipped away when Leigh and Lisa turned back from the door, and Lisa presumed he had gone to make arrangements to transfer his things into another room. She didn’t care what conclusions the staff drew, she was not sharing a room with him. He could make what excuses he lik
ed!

  ‘Come and talk to me, Lisa,’ Leigh insisted as she headed for the stairs. ‘We haven’t talked properly since you arrived.’

  ‘I’m under pain of death or worse from Rorke if I overtire you,’ she responded lightly.

  ‘You are glad to be back, aren’t you, Lisa? Sometimes you look very sad.’

  ‘Only because I’m thinking of all the wasted years.’ How glibly the lies slid off her tongue!

  ‘That’s behind you now. We never knew about Robbie,’ he said emotively, ‘Lisa, why didn’t you tell us?’

  Rorke knew, she wanted to protest, Rorke knew and denied him.

  ‘I did,’ she said shakily instead, ‘I wrote to you—remember I told you earlier and when you didn’t reply I thought… I thought…’

  ‘You thought we’d turned our backs on you. Oh, Lisa, how could you think that? Rorke is a proud man, I know, and you hurt him badly, but surely you never imagined that he wouldn’t welcome you back with open arms, especially when…’

  ‘When I’d given birth to his son?’ How could she tell Leigh that Rorke had known and that because of that knowledge he had rejected both her and Robbie? She couldn’t!

  Wearily she followed Leigh upstairs. The evening had been a traumatic one in many ways. Time enough tomorrow to worry about how she was going to deal with the bombshell Leigh had dropped about his will.

  In many ways she could understand his determination to keep them together—after all, wasn’t that really what she wanted? To be Rorke’s wife; to be loved and cherished as his lover and the mother of his children? Only that was never likely to happen. Rorke despised her. He had made that more than plain.

  She pushed open the bedroom door, coming to an abrupt halt as she saw the lean, indolent figure propped up against the wall.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘RORKE! I thought I told you I wasn’t going to share this room with you,’ she said bitterly.

  ‘So you did,’ he agreed blandly, extracting a key from his pocket and deftly locking the door behind her before returning the key to his pocket. ‘And I told you that I wasn’t going to allow you to worry my father any more than you have done already. We’ve been reconciled, Lisa, remember? He knows how much I wanted you before, no way is he going to believe that wanting you like that I’m going to allow you to sleep in another room.’