STRANGE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY OMNIBUS

by Benson Grayson

  This defect was clearly a serious obstacle to its sale and use. Bancroft tried a hard as he could, but could find no solution. A lesser person would have thrown in the towel and admitted defeat. Not Arthur Bancroft. After so much hard work and coming so close to attaining his goal, Bancroft was not about to do so. He remembered what his father had told him, “If you end up in life with lemons, you can always make lemonade.” Taking his father’s advice to heart, he resolved to find a lucrative use for his time machine.

  The effort required quite a bit if effort. After some false starts he managed to gain admittance to the office of the local crime lord, who was about to be arrested for multiple murders. Bancroft suggested that if the crime lord could somehow lure the witnesses who could testify to his guilt to Bancroft’s home, he would dispose of them so that their bodies would never be discovered. Of course, the charge for this service quoted by Bancroft was a steep one, but Bancroft pointed out it was still cheaper than having to hire henchmen to do the dirty work and then to find a safe place to dump the corpses.

  When he explained to the dubious crime lord his method of insuring that no witnesses would ever be seen again, the crime lord was dubious. Still he had no other alternative. After conferring with his consigliore and other top lieutenants he accepted Bancroft’s terms after some hard bargaining on price which revealed the skills which had enabled him to rise to the top of his profession. Eventually, Bancroft agreed to a lot price for up to a dozen witnesses, concluding that this deal if successful would lead to healthier cash rewards in the future.

  A short time later some thugs belonging to the crime lord’s “family” deposited at Bancroft’s home eight potential witnesses suitably bound who might have provided testimony confirming the crime lord’s involvement in a large number of gang-land murders. Each one was carefully placed in one of Bancroft’s time machines and dispatched into the far future, none less than ninety years ahead and arriving at ten year intervals. As Bancroft had carefully explained to the crime lord, a ninety year period should be sufficient for the crime lord to have gone on to his future reward.

  Bancroft felt queasy about participating in such an activity. He comforted himself with the knowledge that these potential witnesses would have been murdered without his involvement and that life in the future, no matter how unpleasant, was preferable to their meeting a quick and violent death. Bancroft’s effort to reassure himself of the relatively high moral tone of his actions, all things considered, was once again strained. The crime lord arrived unexpectedly after the witnesses had been sent off and unexpectedly shoot the underlings who had brought the witnesses to Bancroft. He explained that it was better not to leave loose ends and that it would be foolish of him to eliminate one set of potentially life-threatening witnesses only to create a new potential threat.

  Then the crime lord added to Bancroft’s alarm by insisting that he disposing of his late henchmen in the same manner and for the same original price he had handled the witnesses, Bancroft prudently interpreted this to be an off he couldn’t refuse. He agreed, but politely observed that he was losing money on the deal if his depreciation costs were added in and that he could continue to provide the service only if the volume of his business expanded. He also suggested that if the crime lord was interested in becoming a partner, he could take fifty percent of the purchase price from any new business he could steer to Bancroft.

  The crime lord gladly accepted Bancroft’s proposal and added that if Bancroft had been of Sicilian extraction he would have been proud to endorse Bancroft’s becoming a member of the Mafia. Thanks to the crime boss’s help, Bancroft’s business grew rapidly. He no longer attempted to correct what he had previously considered a flaw in the time machine, its inability to make a return trip. He instead spent all of his time constructing more machines to handle the increased level of disposals.

  Because secrecy of his operation was essential, Bancroft had to do all of the work himself. He also did not register his time machine at the patent office or publicize its invention in scientific journals, as he had once planned to do. Given popular skepticism if the possibility of time travels he did not fear that any new research was being conducted in the area.

  At the end of two years, Bancroft was servicing all of the major crime syndicates east of the Mississippi and he was contemplating expanding operations into Nevada and California. Thanks to his hefty returns, he now dressed only in five hundred dollar suits. He lived in a luxurious mansion on New York’s Park Avenue. Summers Bancroft vacationed at his compound on Cape Cod adjacent to that of the Kennedy family and he spent several weeks each winter in his Palm Beach Florida retreat. He has never married for fear of a wife learning the details of his work, but he is always surrounded by a bevy of beautiful and very willing women.

  Today, thanks to his invention, Bancroft is a very happy and very wealthy man. He has long since abandoned the dreams he had of fame and of winning the Nobel Prize in Physics for his invention. He is content to have settled for wealth and comfort. He readily admits, if you ask him, that he owes all to his acting on his father’s advice, “If you end up with lemons, make lemonade.”

  THE ENEMIES MACHINE

  The multi-million dollar super computer dubbed the “Enemies Machine” was constructed under the direction of the Advanced Research Project Agency under the overall supervision of senior Pentagon officials. Once built, the CIA and other members of the Intelligence Community played the major role in providing data to be inputted into it. It belonged to the first generation that can properly be said to think. Much like the human brain, its circuits were wired so that rather than just being limited to pulling up individual pieces of data, it was able on its own to recombine them in every possible combination and then provide the most logical answers to the questions asked of it.

  The project was started on the orders of some of Washington’s top policy makers. The members of the President’s National Security Council believed they were handicapped in dealing with various word crises by the incorrect advice they were receiving from the intelligence community. Intelligence analysts, even those with the deepest knowledge of a foreign country, tended to base their predilections on what that nation’s response to U.S. moves might be to their own view of the universe. In other words, they were unable to view anything from the perspective of the foreign leaders. While this admittedly reflected a good deal of Monday morning quarterbacking, the President believed the “Enemies Machine” would provide a useful adjunct to the existing National Security Council apparatus and authorized expenditure of the required funds.

  The “Enemies Machine” was seen as providing the solution. Into its data banks were imputed all of the many separate items of information bearing upon the geography, history, culture, society, economy, political structure and religion of the various countries. Because of the then limited capacity of the computer, not every nation in the world could be included. Therefore, the database was limited to only the ten nations considered most likely to be involved in a serious world crisis affecting the U.D. These included Russia, China, North Korea, Cuba, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Iran. In the light of later events, the most significant omissions were Syria and Venezuela. Another shortcoming was the failure to consider Ukraine as a nation separate from Russia.

  To enhance the accuracy of its estimates, the machine was given a brilliantly designed internal map projection capability, so that its responses were based on the geo-strategic viewpoint that would be those of the host populations and their leaders. Since in virtually every country of the world maps prepared in that country show it as the center of the world, this was the underpinning for the machine’s analysis.

  The first test of the computer was and after the fact re-examination of the probable Iranian reaction to the ouster of Iranian Prime Minister Mohammad Mossadegh in a coup involving the United States. It correctly predicted the popular furor caused by the overthrow of the democratically elected leader and the likely build up of a violently anti-
American sentiment. This analysis so pleased the president that he ordered henceforth U.S. actions in any world crisis be based on the readout from the “Enemies Machine.”

  The first test of the machine in real-time came when American policymakers considered re-orienting the thrust of U.S. policy away from Europe and the Middle East to give the situation in the Far East the highest priority. When the machine was asked to provide the probable response to the so-called “pivot” in policy, it responded with a prediction that the Chinese Communist Government would interpret the move as a deliberate American provocation revealing a hostile intent in Washington. No American offer of increased military cooperation with China or public expression of good will would convince Beijing otherwise.

  Shortly thereafter, the pro-Russian President of Ukraine Viktor Yamukovych was forced from power by public demonstrations in Kiev by agitators favoring close association of the country with the European Community, the “Enemies Machine” was asked to provide analysis of the probable Russian reaction. The answer was that Russian President Putin would never accept this as fait accompli but would resort to whatever tactics required to keep Ukraine from slipping out of the Russian economic orbit. Neither Western promises of continued good will toward Russia nor threats of economic sanctions would induce the Russian President to abandon his goal.

  These analyses were submitted to the National Security Council, which did not know what to do. If accepted as accurate predictions, they would require a significant change in the direction of American foreign policy. Could or should Washington abandon its traditional goal for every U.S. foreign policy initiative? How could the Washington political establishment countenance abandoning its firm belief that the establishment of popular democracy in every nation of the world, regardless of the level of education, standard of living, hostile attitude toward the U.S. or religious fanaticism deserved the highest priority for the long term, regardless of the scope of unfavorable results in the short and medium term?

  The problem was deemed too important for the National Security Council to decide, and so it was taken directly to the president. The Chief Executive weighed the issue carefully, carefully considering all aspects. Then he made his decision. The traditional all-out drive for global world democracy could not be reversed nor even modified in the smallest degree. He ordered that all documents referring in any way to the recommendations of the “Enemies Machine” be shredded and burned. To prevent any future re-occurrence of such obviously unsound estimated, he decreed that the machine be destroyed along with all documents relating to its design or use.

  Today, the citizens of the United States and indeed of the entire world can rest easier in their homes. They know that no considerations of national self-interest or of common sense will be permitted to intrude into American foreign policy.

  EAT UP NO MORE

  Senator Homer Bigger rose to the position of second ranking majority member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, despite the fact that he had no knowledge and cared less about international affairs. His assignment by the Senate Majority Leader to the prestigious committee had been the result of his having two useful personality traits; he was so placid he was frequently described as “inert”, and he could be relied upon to say or do anything the Majority Leader suggested.

  The Senator was justly proud about his appointment to the prestigious committee. Similarly, the Majority Leader was proud of his ability to find the perfect person for the job. In the recent off-year election, the President’s party had suffered heavy losses in the senatorial voting. As a result, it now held only a one vote majority among the ninety-nine Senators who could be counted upon to attend Senate sessions. The senior Senator from Mississippi had been in a coma for the previous fourteen months and with no replacement picked to date. The Mississippi Governor was reluctant to pick a successor because of the probable controversy that would result. Thus, the Committee vote was always nine to eight, with Senator Bigger casting the decisive ninth vote for the majority.

  Normally, international affairs play a secondary role in Washington’s political controversies, well behind domestic affairs. The results of the off-year elections, however, meant that the President would find it impossible to push any significant domestic legislation through the sharply divided Senate. The only alternative, if he was to establish his place in history, was to turn to the area of international affairs. The President directed his advisers to produce a dramatic new initiative, and after intense deliberation they succeeded. Stressing the vital necessity to fill alleged glaring gaps in the nation’s security defenses, the President utilized his State of the Union speech as the platform from which to launch the East European Treaty Union for Peace.

  A major advantage of the new doctrine, which was linked in the press with the President’s name, was its acronym, EAT UP. Focus groups universally gave the doctrine a favorable response, as long as it was coupled with EAT UP, a reaction explained by some editorial writers as reflecting the subliminal craving of most Americans for more food. Hearings by the Senate Foreign relations proceeded with no significant opposition voiced against the proposed treaty, which would bind the United States to come to the aid of the East European nations, including those not members of NATO, if they were subjected to attack.

  The day of the final committee vote on EAT UP came, with all Washington expecting it would pass by the customary eight to seven vote. Surprisingly, the committee room was packed, most unlike the custom at most such hearings. The reason, unknown to the Senators, is that most of the people in the committee room were time travelers, who had come from the future to view this event, so critical in the history of the world. They were all aware from their history books, although the Senators could not have known that the passage of Eat Up would be cited by future historians as the most important single event leading up to the First Atomic War.

  The vote on the treaty was called, and the tally stood at eight to eight, as Senator Bigger was about to cast the deciding ninth vote in favor. Suddenly, looking at the Chairman, Bigger saw a giant spider descending by a threat, about to land on the Chairman’s bald head. Bigger couldn’t stop himself. The Senator harbored a horror of spiders. Without thinking he shouted “No! Good God, No!” at the top of his lungs.

  The recorder, hearing Bigger, recorded him as voting against the treaty and announced the proposal had been rejected. Startled, the Chairman dropped his gavel. The reaction among the onlookers was even more dramatic. The time travelers stared at each with amazement and debated what had happened in loud tones... How could this happen? Could their history books be all wrong?

  Normally, the error would have been rectified. Senator Bigger could have changed his vote, thereby passing EAT UP. However, Bigger’s apparent negative vote produced an interesting reaction in the junior Senator from Massachusetts, the most recent appointee to the committee after Bigger. Although a member of the majority party, he knew that public opinion in his state was strongly against the treaty and that his vote in favor might well cost him his seat in the next election. Feeling protected by Senator Bigger’s negative vote, he quickly changed his vote to negative as well. With the EAT UP treaty defeated by two votes it was dead, as dead as a door nail.

  Neither Senator Bigger nor any of his colleagues nor the general public has ever learned by what a narrow margin the world escaped the threat of nuclear holocaust. As we contemplate this, it may also be instructive to think of what kind of world faced the time travelers who had been in the Committee Room as they rushed back to the future, eager to learn how history may have been changed.

  THE DEVIL YOU KNOW

  Count Ernst Frederick von Brautisch sat in the drawing room of his castle. The vast chamber was illuminated by a single flickering torch, which cast a dim light. It was very cold in the room, and the count wrapped his cloak about him in a vain effort to keep warm. He wished that he had enough money to buy coal or charcoal to use in the fireplace. Despite his vast estates, his lineage and the regard with whi
ch he was held by the other officers in his regiment, he was essentially penniless. His grandfather and then his father had both dissipated most of the family wealth through gambling excessively. The count, a frugal man, had attempted to preserve his very limited inheritance. However, there had been too many obligatory expenses for him to come even close to living up to the life style expected of an army officer.

  The count was sitting behind a large mahogany desk, his hand resting on the open desk drawer. He could just see within it his revolver. All he had to do was to fire it once into his temple, and all his troubles would be over. It was the only alternative left. He wondered if he should write a suicide note, but decided that would be foolish. There was no one he wished to say goodbye to. Fortunately, he had never married and so there was no wife or children who would be saddened by his departure. He took out the revolver and placed it against his temple. His finger tightened against the trigger.

  Suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light in the fireplace. Flames licked out from it, and a small figure emerged. It was about three and a half feet tall and approximated human shape. A little horn protruded from each side of its head, and it had a small tail. “Are you Count von Brautisch?” it asked in a surprisingly deep voice.

  The count was so shaken that he dropped his revolver, which fell to the floor. There was a sharp crack as it fired, the bullet, fortunately, imbedding itself in the wall rather than hitting the count. “I am Count Ernst Frederick von Brautisch” he managed to answer.

  “Permit me to introduce myself,” the thing from the fireplace said. My name is Astaroth.”

  He shook himself daintily, some ashes falling off him.

  “Are you the Devil?” the Count asked. “Have you come to offer me something in exchange for my soul?”