by Smoak, Ivy
"I'm sorry if I was a dick in high school." His hands were still on the steering wheel even though the car wasn't on. He could have kept the car running. It seemed like he wanted to talk to me.
"What? You weren't a jerk, Tucker. You were nice to everyone. We just weren't in the same circle of friends. I know that you're a nice guy. You used to volunteer at the animal shelter every weekend, right?"
He laughed. "Yeah, but I only did that because it looked good on my college application."
"You still did it, though. And, you offered to drive me home on Christmas Eve. Only a nice guy would have offered to do that. Speaking of which, I should let you get back to your family. Thank you for tonight. I mean, you know, driving me home."
"I'm not in a hurry to get back. Actually," he leaned toward me.
Oh my God, Tucker Mills is going to kiss me. It was like every childhood fantasy coming true. Expect better. Because if possible, Tucker was more of a stud now than he had been in school.
But instead of kissing me, he pulled out two beers from a bag that was beside mine on the floor. "You pointed out that we don't really even know each other." He handed me one of the beers. "How about we change that?"
I looked out the windshield at the snow falling. "Even your truck won't be able to make it through this soon."
"I live in the next neighborhood over. I can always walk."
I didn't want to protest. This was probably the best thing that had ever happened to me. "Okay." I twisted the cap on the beer off and tossed it at him.
He caught it with his free hand and smiled.
"I see you've still got it." I took a sip of my beer.
"Except I wasn't a wide receiver. I was a quarterback. So..."
"I heard about what happened with your knee. Tucker, I'm really sorry."
He sighed. "Wow, that seems like a million years ago. Honestly, I don't think I ever really wanted to go pro anyway. I like what I do now. And what about you? What do you do?" He opened up his beer and took a sip.
"I work at the Kennett Chronicle."
"Well, look at you. A hot shot writer."
I laughed. "I'm far from a hot shot. Most of my stories don't even make it to print."
"What was your last one about?"
"It was about this nerdy girl who had a huge crush on the most popular guy in her class." I quickly took another sip of beer. Did I really just say that out loud? I was already nervous around him. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking on top of that.
He laughed. "That's very cliché, you know. You probably should have written about how the popular guy had a crush on the nerdy girl, and how he was too stupid to do anything about it at the time. Maybe then your story would have been picked up."
I laughed. "Yeah, and maybe it could have been about how the girl gets a makeover and suddenly turns beautiful? Maybe there could be some kind of weird bet about making her prom queen or something too?"
"Do you like making things cliché? You have it all wrong. The girl wouldn't need a makeover. She was beautiful the whole time."
"Right. There's a reason why no one writes about that. It doesn't happen."
He shrugged. "Did you really have a crush on me?"
I could feel my face turning red. "No. I mean, yes." God. "Obviously. I mean, look at you."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Are you kidding me? I'm not...you're not...I mean, you were dating Cynthia like all of high school."
"Cynthia." He laughed. "God, Cynthia was the worst."
"I never really got why you were with her. You always seemed like such a nice guy. And she was so..."
"Cold? Yeah. She was such a bitch."
I laughed. "Yeah. She was." I had always stared at them, wondering why on earth he was with her instead of me. In my juvenile mind I had convinced myself that we would have been the perfect couple.
"I can't believe that you had a crush on me."
"Of course you can. Every girl in our class had a crush on you."
He ran his hand through his hair. He looked upset about something.
"What?"
A knock on the window made us both jump. My mom was waving at us.
"Oh, God." I put my hand over my face. "That would be my mother."
Tucker smiled. "Open the door."
I couldn't believe my mom was about to ruin this moment. It seemed like Tucker was just about the confess that he liked me too. But maybe it was for the best. Because there was no way he was actually going to say that. I opened up the door.
"What are you doing out here, Julia? It's 20 degrees out." Her eyes got big when she noticed Tucker.
"Hi, Mrs. Wild. I'm Tucker."
"I know who you are."
Everyone knew who Tucker Mills was. He had almost made our small town famous before he blew out his knee.
"But what are you doing here?" my mom said. She looked back and forth between him and me.
"Tucker was just..."
"Oh, right," Tucker said, cutting me off. "Julia told me that she didn't tell you. With all the excitement with her sister and all. But we just started dating." Tucker wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
What the hell is he doing? God, he smells amazing.
My mom just stood there for a second staring at us. I wasn't sure I had ever seen her stunned silent before.
I turned to Tucker. "What are you doing?" I mouthed silently.
He winked at me and looked back at my mother. "I'm sorry I'm so late. I had to stop by my parents' for a bit."
"Julia, I can't believe you didn't tell us." My mom sounded so excited. "Well, come in, come in." My mom stepped back and hurried to the front door. Probably so she could tidy things up a bit before Tucker came inside.
"What are you doing?" I said and turned to him.
Tucker kept his arm wrapped around me. "You said your mom was giving you a hard time for being single."
"You already drove me home. You don't have to fix this too."
"I know I don't have to. I want to."
I laughed. "Seriously, Tucker, don't you have to get back to your house? It's Christmas Eve."
"Nah. I have three siblings. I doubt they'll even miss me."
I was very aware of the fact that his arm was still around me. "I'm going to owe you a million favors."
"Hmm. I'm sure I can think up a few ways you can pay me back."
Before I could say anything, he grabbed the bags off the floor and stepped out of the truck.
I pinched myself again. It really felt like I was dreaming. But Tucker was really here, opening up the door for me, putting his hand up for me to grab. I slid my hand into his. Instead of dropping my hand once I had stepped down from the truck, he kept his fingers intertwined with mine.
"I probably should have bought flowers at the store. Meeting your folks is kind of a big deal. Flowers would have been good."
"Yeah, except we're not dating. Tucker, this is crazy."
"You seem to like clichés. It doesn't get more cliché than having a guy who's actually not your boyfriend come to your house during the holidays to fool your parents. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"
In movies like that, the two main characters always fell for each other. That didn't sound bad at all. Besides, I already liked him. "Are you sure that you don't need to get back?"
"I'm sure. Come on, this will be fun."
Maybe for me. But why was he doing this? I opened up the front door. My whole family was standing in the small foyer.
"Um." This was so surreal. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Tucker." It sounded weird coming out of my mouth. My family was going to know I was lying. Obviously Tucker Mills wouldn't be dating me.
Tucker squeezed me hand.
Izzy turned to me. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating Tucker Mills?"
"Why didn't you tell me that you were engaged?" I said.
Tucker coughed. "We come baring gifts." He looked down into the bags. "Alcohol and Cheez-Its. Aw, baby, I didn't realize
you got Cheez-Its. Thank you." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "She knows how much I like those."
Baby? God that sounded nice. His lips felt so soft against my cheek. I could feel my cheeks flushing. "Let's go put those away, you," I said, and pulled him toward the kitchen. You? That was the most endearing nickname I could come up with? No wonder I was single.
"I actually do really love Cheez-Its," he said and placed the bags down on the counter.
"Me too. We should probably open some wine if we're going to pull this off." I opened up the cabinet and pulled out glasses for everyone.
"It'll be easy. We're both attracted to each other. Really this is just going to be fun. But I would like you to try this." He lifted up the bottle from his winery.
He's attracted to me? I swallowed hard.
"I thought you said you were getting flour so you could make cookies?" He stared down at several plates filled with cookies that were already on the counter as he poured the wine.
"I was..."
"Oh, it was the funniest things, Julia," my mom said as she entered the kitchen. "As soon as you left I found flour in the back of the cupboard. All the cookies are already done."
I looked up at Tucker. He was smiling at me. If I had waited another minute, I never would have gone to the store. I never would have run into him.
He raised his eyebrow at me.
I quickly looked away. "It worked out okay."
"Mhm," Tucker said and placed his hand on the small of my back. "She had to meet up with me anyway."
"Well, you both missed out on cookie making, but now it's time for Julia's favorite part of Christmas Eve."
"Oh, Mom, I'm sure Tucker doesn't want to do that."
"Don't be silly." She smiled and grabbed the slips of paper she had already cut up. "It'll be fun."
I lifted up one of the glasses and took a sip. "Oh my God, this is really good, Tucker."
He laughed and put his arm around me. "Baby, you're always so supportive. Every time Julia drinks wine from my winery she acts like it's the first time she's tried it." He squeezed my shoulder.
"You own a winery?" my mom asked.
"Yeah, up near Kennett Square."
"Very fancy. And you brought some for us to try? Oh, how thoughtful." She grabbed the tray of glasses and wandered out of the kitchen.
I looked up at Tucker. He still had his arm wrapped around me. "First of all, why are you so good at pretending to be my boyfriend? Have you done this before?"
He laughed. "I promise I haven't done this before. So what's this game we're playing?"
"It's really silly. We each draw a name out of a hat and then we write something nice about them. Then we all go around and read the notes and try to guess who wrote what."
"I feel like I'm going to be bad at this," said Tucker.
"Yeah, because you don't know anyone."
He shrugged. "Regardless, I think it sounds fun. Shall we?"
"If that's what you really want to do?"
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be." He grabbed my hand again and lead me out of the kitchen.
My family had left a really small spot on the couch for both of us. When we sat down, Tucker put his arm around me and put his other hand on my thigh. He made small circles with his thumb right above the inside of my right knee. He was probably doing it absent mindedly, but it was hard to focus on anything else. I felt my face flushing. I was getting aroused in front of my whole family. This was mortifying.
"This is really good, man," Izzy's fiancé, Ben, said after taking a sip of the wine.
"Thanks," Tucker said.
"How long have you had the winery?" my dad asked him.
"About five years now."
"What made you go in that direction?" my mom asked.
"I wanted to do something where I could be outside. I tried the desk job thing. It wasn't for me. I like getting my hands dirty." He winked at me.
Oh my God. My face must have been bright red. I wasn't even sure why that comment seemed sexual, but it did.
"Did Julia already tell you how it works?" my dad asked, changing the subject. Everyone had probably thought Tucker's comment was sexual.
"Yup, I'm all filled in."
"Okay, so we all just pick a name from the hat," my dad said.
I leaned forward and grabbed a name. Izzy was written on the paper. I was sad that I didn't draw Tucker's name. Not that I wanted to pour my soul out to him in front of my family. I grabbed a pen off the table.
"Did you get me, baby?" Tucker whispered to me.
His warm breath in my ear made my whole body feel alive. And the way he kept calling me baby was unnerving. "I can't tell you that." I put my hand over my paper as I wrote down my nice thought about Izzy: "I'm so excited for you. And I'm so proud of who you've become." I quickly folded it in half and put it back into the hat.
I turned toward Tucker.
"Stop trying to cheat," he said and folded up his paper. He tossed it into the hat and leaned back, dipping his hand behind my back. His fingers traced along the bottom of my sweater.
"Okay, I'll go first," my mom said and grabbed a slip of paper out of the hat. "I have never been so excited about the rest of my life until I decided to spend it with you." My mom flipped over the paper to see who had written it about whom. "Aw," she said and placed her hand on her chest. "It's your guess, dear," she said to my father.
"Was it Izzy about Ben?" he said.
"Nope," was Izzy's reply.
"Then it must have been Ben to Izzy."
"Guilty," Ben said.
"Ben," Izzy said. She leaned over and kissed him.
My dad cleared his throat. "Okay, okay. My turn." He picked up a slip of paper. "I love you even when you pretend to fall over things that aren't actually in your way."
Everyone laughed except for Tucker.
"Okay, I feel like I'm missing something," Tucker said.
"You are. But it's your turn to guess," I said.
"Umm..." He looked around the room. "Mr. Wild about Mrs. Wild?"
My mom laughed. "I'm not clumsy, dear."
"Then Mrs. Wild about Mr. Wild?"
"Bingo," my mom said. "Sorry, everyone knows that about my dear husband." She touched my dad's cheek.
My whole life I had wanted what they had. I thought I had found that in Brendan. But he never looked at me like that. Unconditional love. I wasn't even sure that really existed in my generation.
Tucker grabbed a piece of paper from the hat. He cleared his throat. "I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. And I can't believe it took me this long to finally tell you how I felt. I'm just glad I wasn't too late." Tucker lifted his eyes from the paper and they landed on me.
It felt like my heart was beating out of my chest.
"It's your guess, baby," he said.
"Right." I turned away from him. "Izzy to Ben?"
"Nope," Izzy said and smiled at me.
I looked back up at Tucker. I didn't want to guess wrong about him and embarrass myself. But even if he had written it, it didn't mean it was true. He was just pretending. "You to me?"
"Of course."
The way he was looking at me made this whole night seem real. I was probably imagining it, but it seemed like he was looking at me the way my mom looked at my dad.
His fingers slid slightly up underneath my sweater.
My throat made a weird squeaking noise and I quickly turned away from him and grabbed a slip of paper from the hat. It was hard to focus on the words as his thumb trailed along the waistline of my jeans. "I'm so happy that dreams come true and that you finally found each other." I frowned and turned the paper over. My sister had written this about Tucker. I looked over at her. We used to be so close. Of course she knew about my crush on Tucker.
She smiled at me. "I guess I got an easy one. That was me to Tucker. Which is great, because I'm awful at guessing."
"I'm glad I'm here too," Tucker said.
I looked back up at him. Lu
ckily I was sitting down, because his smile made my knees feel weak. I tuned out the rest of the game, completely entranced by his fingers against the small of my back.
It was one thing to pretend to be my boyfriend. It was another to do what he was currently doing. He was touching me because he wanted to, not because he had to. No one could even see his hand. Actually, wasn't he doing all of this because he wanted to? Talking to me in the store, giving me a ride home, offering to help me out with my mom? Maybe Tucker didn't need to just be a fantasy anymore.
"So how did you two meet?" Izzy asked. "I mean, obviously you went to school together. But how did you two finally get together?"
"I have to say it was fate," Tucker said. "We ran into each other in a grocery store a little while back. It was so completely random. But I recognized her right away. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. And I told myself that I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't finally go talk to her. Luckily she remembered me too. And we've been inseparable ever since. Right, Julia?" He had pushed my sweater up even more, so that his whole palm was against my skin.
"Mhm." My voice sounded weird and high-pitched.
"I can't even believe it," Izzy said. "After all these years? Julia had this ridiculously big crush on you ever since, what middle school?" She looked at me.
"I don't know about middle school. And it was a small crush. I mean, we didn't even know each other. That would be crazy." But I had been a little crazy. I had been in love with him for forever.
Izzy laughed. "Yeah, right. You basically stalked him."
"Izzy!" I needed to change the topic. This was so awkward.
Tucker laughed. "You don't have to be embarrassed." His other hand had gravitated back to my thigh. "You know I had a crush on you too. We were both just too silly to do anything about it."
"You're the silly one," I said and I tapped my index finger against the tip of his nose. "Boop!" What the hell did I just do? I'm so bad at flirting!
"Did you just boop me on the nose?" Tucker was smiling down at me like that was the funniest thing he had ever seen. "You know how I feel about that." He winked at me.
"You guys are so cute," Izzy said.
Tucker's phone started buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked down at the screen. "Sorry, I'll be right back." He stood up and walked toward the kitchen.
