Bane

by Kristin Mayer

  Not leaving the house made me stir crazy as I tidied the living room for the hundredth time this morning. Bane was outside on the porch talking to one of the men. I never saw them except occasionally out a window. On the mantle, I straightened and angled all of the decorative pieces a new way to see if I liked it better. Getting out of the house was about to become a necessity instead of a want. Bane walked back in the room wearing a short sleeve black T-shirt and jeans. “Want to take a walk?”

  I froze as I adjusted the throw pillows. “Are you serious?”

  There was more to Bane than I ever realized and I was falling for him. Dangerously falling for him as my heart became engulfed with the feeling. It was dangerous to feel this way and I was terrified of being hurt again.

  “Yes, I thought the fresh air would do all of us some good. I know you’re going stir crazy.” Eyeing the pillow in my hand he suppressed his chortle.

  Nothing more had been said about Jasmine. I was also scared that Bane wanted me around simply because of the baby. I wasn’t sure where we stood or what we wanted out of this. Maybe Bane was thinking it all through deciding what he honestly wanted.

  “I’d love to.”

  Slipping on my shoes, I followed Bane out the front door excited to feel the sun against my face, the wind in my hair, and hear the birds chirping. It was a beautiful day. Bane grabbed my hand as we walked down the driveway with the gravel crunching under our feet. Holding hands felt intimate with Bane over these last few days. When we slept together at night, he would hold my hand. I loved it.

  The citrus smell filled the air as I filled my lungs.

  “What scares you about being with me?”

  I momentarily paused and looked up at Bane. His dark eyes showed the raw pain he exposed himself to. The truth needed to be out there in the open. “That you are only trying to be with me because of the baby. If the baby wasn’t here, you’d have left me without a second thought or would leave me if something happened.”

  Bane shook his head. “It’s not about what I’ve done. The innocent people I’ve accidentally killed. The chaos I’ve caused. The deaths I’m responsible for.”

  We’d spent hours talking about Bane’s past. “No, none of that scares me. You survived, but you never strayed from the line.”

  He took a deep breath. “Maren, there is only the line. It doesn’t matter how far you cross it. The line is the line.”

  I thought for a minute on how to respond. “I get what you’re saying, Bane, but if you really believe you crossed the line … I believe the reasons matter. You’ve saved so many lives. The world is a better place because of you.” We kept walking in silence as we approached the edge of the grove. A blanket laid out on the grass. “What’s this?”

  “I thought we could sit out here and talk like we have been.”

  Laying on the blanket, I looked up at the sky. Bane followed my actions. Peace. I felt peace. The clouds were plentiful as they danced through the sky like white cotton balls. Moments like this made it easier to get through the more stressful situations.

  Reliving a memory, I said, “During the summer, my dad would lay a blanket out in the back yard with Frankie and me. We’d stare up at the sky and make shapes out of the clouds that passed by. Dad always said you could tell a lot about yourself with what you saw.”

  Bane stayed quiet as he looked up at the sky and grabbed my hand. That excited nervous butterfly like feeling came over me. In the last few days, the small touches seemed more intimate than all the sex prior to Eric capturing us. Something changed between us. If things became more intense than they had been and Bane decided to walk away, I would be shattered.

  Bane brought me out of my inner thoughts as he asked, “What do you see today?”

  Gazing up at the clouds, I waited for one of them to take shape for me. “I see a giant bowl of ice cream loaded down with chocolate syrup and sprinkles.” I laughed. “I guess food is starting to always be on my mind.”

  His thumb caressed mine. More clouds lazily passed by. “I see a dad reading a story to a child.”

  I rolled over on my side. “Bane, you deserve to be happy.”

  His dark, penetrating eyes looked at me without saying a word. So much emotion passed over his face as his thumb caressed my cheek. “I’m afraid that it’s all going to be taken away from me again. I’m falling for you, Maren. Over these past few weeks you’ve seen the real me. No one has ever seen the real me.”

  Something inside of me needed to feel Bane as I moved closer, our lips a breath apart. “I’ve fallen for you too, Bane. But we have to be sure we’re together for the right reasons—not because of our great chemistry or the fact that we have a baby on the way. We’ll only end up hurting the baby if we’re together for convenience or out of obligation. It’s easy to be lost in our feelings while we’re isolated from the world. Now, that you’ve opened yourself up to the possibility of being happy, you may not know what you want yet.”

  It was hard saying the words and I wanted to retract them. The truth was I didn’t want to share Bane with anyone, but for this to work he had to be free to choose and not feel pressured. Bane’s lips came out and touched mine. “I’ll prove it to you.”

  His tongue touched my lips. I missed his taste as need raced through me. Deepening the kiss, our tongues danced with each other. Bane moaned a deep reverberation that reached my core. Snaking his hand up my shirt, I wanted him inside me. I pulled him closer to me and Bane positioned himself in between my legs. It didn’t matter that we were in the middle of an orange grove, I didn’t care. All I wanted was him, inside me.

  Tender lips caressed my neck as I arched into him gasping for air from the intense kiss. Bane’s hardened length ground against me through his jeans. Desperate, I clawed at his shirt to bring him closer. Then, everything slowed. I tried to speed him up, but he pulled back. “Angel, I want you.”

  “I want you too.”

  He put a little more distance between us, enough to help clear the fog. “I won’t let this be about sex. When we have sex again it will be because you know I want you for you—not because I can’t control my dick. There will be no doubt in your mind that I’m in this for the long haul.”

  My breathing was erratic. I was turned on, but his words blossomed inside of me. He was right. If we had sex, I’d always wonder. Bane knew me well. I closed my eyes. “This is going to be hard.”

  Tracing his nose along my jaw, every fiber in my being screamed for us to lose control and deal with the consequences later. “It’ll be worth it.”

  Oh geez. This was not helping matters. I hoped my mind caught up quickly and believed what Bane was saying.

  MAREN WAS SEVEN weeks pregnant and we were about to head to the doctor’s office in town. How the hell I’d managed to not sink inside of her for the last week or so was beyond me. I wanted in her tight heat, but needed to wait. I had to make sure she knew this was not about sex.

  Fuck. I hoped the opportunity presented itself sooner rather than later.

  My dick was in a constant state of feeling like a sledge hammer. And trust me, my angel made it hard to resist. I knew she was tempting me. Hell, she wanted it. Last night I’d read that a woman’s sex drive increased during pregnancy. Maren needed some kind of relief before she sent me over the edge and we did something we weren’t ready for.

  Fuck, I was screwed. My hand was not cutting the job in the shower. I felt like a pansy-ass sneaking off, spilling my cum down the drain like a teenager who couldn’t control his cravings. As the days ticked by, Maren became more provocative. There was only so much strength a man had.

  I was losing this battle.

  Maren was in the bedroom getting ready. It was safest for me to be out here with my hot cup of coffee looking out the window, pretending she was not in our room naked. Thank goodness the pregnancy knocked her out fast asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. In the morning, I slipped out of bed before she could try to seduce me into changing my mind. It wouldn’t take muc
h. I had a plan and I wanted to follow through.

  All I needed was the opportunity.

  I’d received a message from Alex. He’d found what he believed to be Sarge and Eric’s bodies. Well, he’d found what we wanted him to believe were their bodies. We’d removed their teeth prior to setting the cabin on fire. While I recovered, Hampton found two corpses of similar build and replaced the cadavers’ teeth with theirs.

  It was amazing what we knew how to do from training at the Black Division. Heat destroyed organic material. There would be no trace as to who was left at the site after we were done.

  Hampton staged it to where it appeared a small grenade went off, setting a chain reaction near a boat dock which was next to a tank of gasoline. They’d assume Eric and Sarge were in a standoff. Sarge would be a hero and Eric a traitor. The thought was foul, but it kept all of us out of the spotlight. We’d rigged the substitute corpses to only have a piece or two of the tooth survive so Black Division could extract mitochondrial DNA.

  Once the identification was one hundred percent confirmed, it would be behind us. Alex hadn’t mentioned me coming back. I didn’t trust anyone, but I think it had been Sarge’s hidden agenda all along—not the Black Division. At least that was what seemed to be the case.

  Time would tell, but they wouldn’t catch me unprepared this time.

  Maren and I had some serious decisions to make. Hampton did too. One thing at a time. This thing with Alex needed to wrap up first.

  The door creaked open. I took a deep breath as I readied myself to keep my dick in my pants. My body craved to be closer to Maren. I’ll have her and the baby in my life if I do this right … forever.

  Taking a sip of coffee, I turned and spewed it out, choking. “Fuck!” Maren dropped her towel, revealing her body.

  Hurt flashed across her eyes as she scrambled to pick up the towel. Her emotions were all over the place lately. Quickly, I sat the cup of coffee down and went to Maren. “Angel, you look breathtakingly gorgeous. I wasn’t expecting it.”

  “Why don’t you want me?”

  Keep control of the situation, Bane. The desire was evident in her eyes. She needed pleasure. “I want you more than you know. I’ve whacked off more times than I can count to thinking about you in the shower.”

  “Then take me.”

  “Not yet, but I’ll pleasure you, angel. I know you have needs.” I ran my hands down her neck and she leaned back. If I took her to the bedroom, I wouldn’t have the willpower to survive. Gently, I coaxed Maren to the edge of the couch. She braced herself with her arms.

  With my left hand wrapping around the back of her neck, she leaned back. I trailed my free right hand down her sternum. Her legs moved together. It wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge. Her nipples beaded as I brushed over them with my fingertips.

  Hell, I was going to need five cold showers after this. I leaned down and sucked one beaded point into my mouth as my hand glided down her stomach. There was a small bump. Her body was changing. I knew it intimately and fucking loved it.

  My hand dipped inside her wet folds and Maren arched, putting more weight on my forearm. “Don’t make me wait, Bane. I’ve needed this for a while.”

  I felt guilty for ignoring her needs, but knew the end result would be worth the torture for us. My thumb pushed against her clit, eliciting an erotic moan as I felt her wetness. Maren was past ready as warmth radiated from her. I massaged her walls as they tightened around me while giving her nipples little bites. She was more sensitive than normal and responded to my touch.

  Touching her just right, she arched and cried out as her orgasm took over. She was beautiful with the soft glow that emanated from her. Sagging, she languidly opened her eyes. “Best orgasm ever.”

  I chuckled, knowing I could do better than that, but didn’t want to stoke the fire for my own sake. Giving her a quick kiss, I whispered against her lips. “I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.”

  Maren kissed me. I wanted to take her over the couch and drill her into it. She was getting closer to accepting I was in this for the right reasons, but she wasn’t there … yet. I pulled back. “We need to leave in about twenty minutes to make it to the doctor.”

  “Give me one more. I’ll hurry.”

  There was no denying my angel as I touched her. My heart knew I felt more than I’d ever felt before.

  In the hospital gown, Maren looked around the room. I hadn’t been in a girlie doctor’s office before. The place was filled with fake model vaginas and ovaries. I mean, what the fuck? No wonder there were guys in this field. Hands in pussies and surrounded by all this shit. It was a bachelor’s walking wet dream.

  I’d made sure we saw a female doctor. There was no way in hell some asshole was touching Maren. No fucking way. There was no doubt I’d snap his neck.

  Excitedly, Maren asked, “Are you ready to hear the heartbeat?” I’d never heard one before.

  I swallowed hard. “I am.”

  Maren grabbed my hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

  All the time, I imagined different scenarios that would take her and the baby from me.

  The door opened and a middle-aged female doctor walked in. “Hello, I’m Doctor Kelly Chase. How are you doing, Mrs. Childers?”

  Maren glanced to me worried. I gave her an easy smile, remembering I’d forgotten to tell her I’d registered her under her alias, Kendra Childers.

  She relaxed. “I’m good. I’ve been tired, but that seems to be normal. Two weeks ago I saw a doctor in a town we were visiting for spotting. He said that it was normal and not to worry unless it happened again.”

  Doctor Chase made a few notes. “Has it?”

  “No. Everything seems normal. I’m taking my prenatal vitamins and folic acid.”

  “Perfect.” The doctor flipped through all the paperwork Maren filled out. “Everything looks good on your charts you provided. Let’s hear the heartbeat and check out everything. Are you ready?”

  Emphatically, Maren answered, “Yes! I’ve been waiting for this appointment anxiously.”

  Maren gave me a glorious smile. The doctor instructed Maren to lean back. I stayed near Maren’s head and held her hand. The doctor checked Maren’s cervix. Yeah, there was no way I could have survived this with a man. Withdrawing, the doctor took off her gloves. “Everything seems right on track for seven weeks. Let’s listen to the baby.”

  My heart caught in my throat as I waited to hear the sound of another life I’d been part of creating. A little goo was added to Maren’s stomach. A little microphone-type thing was held to her stomach. After a few different positions, a whooshing sound came through the little speakers. “That’s the heartbeat.”

  That was my baby. My baby was alive. My baby was real. I hadn’t let myself fully embrace it all. I wanted a life with Maren and this child more than anything.

  Tears formed in Maren’s eyes as she looked at me. “That’s our baby. We created this, Bane.”

  “I know, angel. It’s perfect.”

  The doctor positioned it again and again. A frown forming on her forehead. I went on high alert, but tried to stay outwardly calm as Maren turned toward the speakers, listening to the thrumming sound of the heart. The doctor spoke. “I want to do an ultra sound. Let me go check with the nurse to get you squeezed in while you get dressed.”

  “What’s wrong, Doctor Chase?” Maren caught on to the doctor’s tone.

  Doctor Chase gave Maren a comforting smile. “There’s nothing wrong. I’m picking up an echo on the heart and want a better look.”

  My heart plummeted. I knew this was too good to be true. There was something wrong. Maren’s lip quivered after the doctor left. I had to be strong for her. “Angel, let’s wait to see what the doctor has to say. She wants to check it out. Let’s get dressed.”

  She nodded and I helped her back into her clothes. The doctor popped back in the room. “The nurse is able to fit you in if you’re ready.”

  Grabbing her purse, I followed Maren o
ut. She rubbed her stomach and I saw her lips moving, no doubt talking to the baby. It hit me, this was my moment. I put my hand on Maren’s shoulder stopping her. “Doctor, I need a second if you don’t mind.”

  The doctor glanced back at me. “Is something wrong?”

  Was something wrong? Yes, there was something potentially wrong. I tried to have faith, but it was hard as the name connected me straight to the memory of my child who hadn’t made it.

  “I need to speak to Kendra for a minute. It’ll be quick.” I’d nearly slipped and said Maren’s name.

  The doctor opened up a door on the side, revealing another exam room. I brought Maren in and closed the door to give us privacy. “Bane, what are you doing?”

  “I need to tell you this one thing before we go in there.”

  “What?” I could tell Maren was aggravated and wanted to get the ultra sound.

  This was my moment. I grabbed her shoulders making sure I had her full attention. “Maren, regardless of what the doctor says or finds I want you—all of you. This isn’t because of the baby. I need you to know whatever they tell us, I’m not letting you go. I was a fool for trying to keep you away the last day at the cabin.”

  Maren cried and grabbed onto me. “I don’t ever want you to let me go.”

  My heart burst as I finally got the girl I wanted. I was never letting her go regardless of what happened.

  A light knocked rapped on the door. “Mrs. Childers, we’ll lose the spot if we don’t go now to the ultra sound room.”

  Maren sniffled. “We’re coming.”

  I grabbed her hand and gave her a quick kiss. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it together.”

  Walking out of the room, the doctor gave me a quizzical look at Maren’s tears. She handed her a tissue. The doctor kept a pleasant smile on her face. Maren needed to understand I was all in.