Facing the Fire

by Carol Beth Anderson

  It took him a few minutes to find Aba. She was in a large storage cave, arguing with a man about the number of servings in one jar of pears. At last, the man agreed with Aba. She turned toward the cave’s entrance. Her face fell into exhausted lines until she saw Tullen and replaced her mask of professionalism.

  “What can I help you with, Tullen?” she asked.

  “Is there somewhere quiet we can talk?”

  She gave a short laugh which softened the lines of her strong jaw. “There are people everywhere.”

  “Even an empty hallway would do.”

  Aba nodded and led him away. She moved with a purpose, and they soon stood in a narrow alcove branching off another passage. “Satisfactory?” she asked.

  “This is fine, thank you.” Tullen consciously relaxed his mouth into a slight smile. “I know we haven’t had the best history over the last couple of years,” he began.

  Aba interrupted, “You have permission to skip the polite parts and get to what you need.”

  “All right.” Tullen had a natural ability to bring others around to his point of view. But it had never worked with Aba; he didn’t know why he thought it would now. He dropped the smile and said, “The other Golds and I want to leave. What happened yesterday has made it clear how violent our new monarchy is. We’ve always been committed to stopping the Grays, and it’s time for us to pick up that fight again.”

  “No.”

  The word hit him so hard that he flinched. “That’s it? No?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Why?”

  She let out a long sigh, and her whole body seemed to wilt. He wondered if she’d slept at all. “Tullen, if you leave, you’ll be able to lead people here. I’m responsible for over a thousand people. I can’t put them in danger so you and your friends can embark on an ill-fated journey. When it’s safe for all of us to leave the caverns, I won’t try to keep you in the Meadow. You wouldn’t stay anyway. But for now, the only people leaving will be our negotiators. And we’ll blindfold them so they don’t know where the exit is.”

  “You could do the same with us.”

  “I could, but that wouldn’t solve the issue. We’d still have to trust that none of you would reveal that we’re in caverns. Even with just that information, a team with the right gifts might find us.”

  Tullen bit his bottom lip and stared at her. “You don’t trust us.”

  Aba gave him a frank look. “It’s not you I’m worried about.”

  “It’s the Outsiders,” Tullen said.

  “Yes.”

  A shadow invaded the little alcove. Tullen looked up. The person standing between him and the lantern light was just a silhouette, but he’d know that slim form anywhere.

  “I’m an Outsider,” Tavi said, “and you may not trust me, Aba, but I have a promise for you.”

  “Do you?” Aba crossed her arms.

  “We won’t just stop the Grays,” Tavi said. “We’ll also make sure your people can return home and live the way they always have. I don’t like how you vilify the outside world, or how you treated Tullen after he left, but I will fight for your right to live the way you believe is best. I find your embrace of pacifism simplistic, but if you won’t fight for yourselves, we’ll fight for you.”

  There was a long pause, and then Aba asked, “Why would you fight for us?”

  Light filled the tunnel, and Tullen couldn’t hold back a smile. Tavi’s head, neck, and hands glowed with golden warmth. It even seeped through her cream-colored shirt. Her voice was soft, and he could hear the tears in it when she replied, “Because my conscience screams against the injustice of an unarmed family being slaughtered just because they didn’t run fast enough. And I wasn’t given these gifts so I could light up a cavern. I was given them so I could bring change where it’s due.”

  Aba gazed at Tavi, but Tullen couldn’t decipher anything in the woman’s expression. The wait turned awkwardly long before Aba finally said, “Very well. You can leave tonight.” She spared one nod for each of them before squeezing past Tavi and exiting the alcove.

  “Blindfolds?” Tavi whispered to Tullen.

  “I thought you’d heard about that when you came to talk to Aba and me.”

  “Maybe it’s good I didn’t; I might not have been so enthusiastic about leaving.”

  Tavi looked around at the other Golds and saw she wasn’t the only one balking at the blindfold she’d been handed. Ash was holding his in front of his face, sneering at it, and Reba held hers crushed in her hand. But none of them complained out loud.

  “Tullen, are you sure you can carry all that?” Wrey asked.

  Tavi looked at Tullen and laughed. He had at least twelve bags of supplies strapped to his back and front. He’d even tried carrying one on his head, but that hadn’t worked. With his stride gift active, he could carry a lot of weight without difficulty. The guide who would lead them out of the caverns had told them it was a long walk with some steep parts, so Tullen had offered to carry as many of the supplies as he could. Once they got out, they’d redistribute the bags so Tullen could save his magic in case he needed it.

  Tavi adjusted her own pack, which was full of preserved food and several items of warm clothing Meadow Dwellers had given her. It was comforting to know they had plenty of provisions, but what she carried reminded her of what was missing.

  Of all the things she’d left in her little cottage in the Meadow, the only one she cared about was her journal, a gift from Misty. It was sitting on a little shelf in Tavi’s room, waiting for her to return and write in it. She swallowed and tried to redirect her thoughts.

  She looked to Aba. “Please thank your people for their generosity,” she said. Aba surprised her with a genuine smile.

  The man guiding them said, “Line up. Blindfolds on, hand on the person in front of you.”

  Tavi placed herself in the middle of the line behind Narre and in front of Tullen. She gave the guide one last look before putting her blindfold on. The man was middle-aged, short, with a little paunch and a supremely average face. He didn’t look like a person who’d be entrusted with the secret of the exit route. Tavi supposed that was the point.

  Her blindfold on, Tavi placed her hand on Narre’s shoulder. She felt Tullen’s fingers brush against the side of her neck, making her shiver, before he grasped her shoulder. Intentional? She couldn’t decide.

  “Here we go,” the guide said.

  The walk out wasn’t as long as Tavi had expected. It took about three-quarters of an hour and would have been much faster had they been able to see. There were many twists and turns and, as promised, some steep places. Their guide was kind and helpful, however, and eventually Tavi felt a cold breeze on her skin.

  “We’ll be exiting the caverns through some thick, tall bushes,” the guide said. “They may scratch you. I’ll hold them back best I can.”

  The bushes were the worst part of the trek for Tavi. She felt helpless with her blindfold on, unsure when the next sharp branch would grab her. But they made it out with nothing more than minor scratches.

  “We’re in the woods now,” the man said. “We’ll walk to the nearest trail before you take your blindfolds off.”

  That took ten more minutes, and there were so many turns, Tavi knew none of them would remember the path.

  “I’ll ask you to wait two minutes before removing your blindfolds,” the guide said. “It’ll allow me to be out of your sight.” He paused, and the Golds agreed to his request. “One more thing,” the man said with a low voice. “Please do what you promised. I love my home, and I don’t want to lose it.”

  “We will,” Tavi said.

  “Thank you.” He coughed, then said, “I’ve left you a lantern. You’re facing a path. Take it to your right, and it will lead to a river. Follow that to your right, and you’ll encounter a road. If you turn left, there’s a little town about ten miles down. If you turn right, you’ll eventually meet up with the road to Savala.”

  Sall repeated an
d confirmed the instructions, and the guide bid them goodbye.

  Tavi listened to him take a few steps, then called, “Wait!” The steps stopped. “When we’ve ensured the Meadow’s safety,” she said, “how will we let you know?

  The man was silent for several seconds before replying, “Tullen, Jenevy, one of you can write a note. There are Meadow Dwellers who will recognize your writing. Leave it in the kitchen of the meeting hall. We’ll send someone to check there every night. You’ll have to find a way in, though.”

  “I’m sure we can manage that,” Tullen said.

  They all thanked the man, and he left. As they waited to take off their blindfolds, Tavi whispered, “You know, I could use my scent gift to track him back to the cavern entrance.”

  There was a pause, and then Jenevy replied, “I think it’s safest for us not to know. If any of us gets caught by the Grays, we don’t want to have information to hide.”

  Tavi pondered that. “You’re right,” she said.

  A couple of minutes later, Sall said, “Let’s get these blindfolds off.”

  Tavi did so, placing the strip of cloth in her pants pocket. She looked around at the others. “Well,” she said, “here we are.”

  “The question is,” Ash said, “where are we going?”

  Before they left, Tullen and Jenevy had both wanted to spend a few hours with their families. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss their destination as a group.

  “Let’s talk while we walk,” Tullen suggested. “But first, it’s time for me to unload.”

  They each took one or two of Tullen’s bags, then proceeded down the trail. It was narrow but easy to follow. Reba took the lead, carrying their lantern. However, it didn’t shed much light. Sall suggested that those with magic could take turns activating their gifts.

  “I can take the first shift,” Wrey said.

  “Gray magic is too painful,” Sall said. “Conserve your strength.” He activated his mind magic, and his glowing scalp acted as an extra lantern.

  Wrey’s head bowed in obvious disappointment. Tavi couldn’t figure her out. Jenevy had liked Wrey from the beginning, and in recent months, they’d struck up a friendship. According to Jenevy, Wrey was kind, intelligent, and driven, and she’d gotten caught up with the Grays almost without knowing what she was doing.

  But all Tavi saw was someone who seemed scared to give input and was usually sad. And while Tavi knew she should probably feel compassion, she didn’t. Because she knew the real Wrey: the woman who had traveled to a forest outside Oren, walked into a clearing, and put Tavi’s sister to sleep. Misty’s eyes had never opened again; she’d been helpless when Yamah had brought his knife across her throat.

  Tavi shivered at the memory. She was glad when someone spoke, cutting her musings short. Unfortunately, she liked the person speaking even less than she liked Wrey.

  “I wonder if there’s any way for us to safely get back to Savala,” Ash said. “We could cut the head off the snake.”

  “Perhaps eventually,” Sall said. “But not until we know more about the security there. All the safety officers are looking for us. The city’s entrances might even be guarded.” He glanced back at Ash, who stood behind him. “You might want to tone down the vengeful emotions; they’ll distract you.”

  “I’m not looking for revenge,” Ash said.

  Sall turned again and, with a smile, pointed at his glowing head. Behind them, Tavi laughed. If Sall’s lantern of a head said Ash was vengeful, then Ash was vengeful.

  “Isn’t it someone else’s turn to use their magic?” Ash asked.

  “I’ll do it, Sall,” Tavi said. She activated her touch gift, and her hands lit the path around her.

  “I wish we could go home,” Reba said.

  “Me too,” Tavi, Sall, and Narre all agreed.

  “I do too, but we can’t,” Tullen said. “I think we should find a town none of us has ever been to. Somewhere not too far from Savala. If it’s small enough, they might not have any posters of us. We can send Sall ahead; Benisa said he doesn’t look anything like the drawing on his poster. If he says it’s safe, we’ll all go into town and see if there’s a resistance movement. If there’s not, we’ll determine if it’s a good place to start one. We can always move on to another town if we need to. The safest place is a town where no one knows us.”

  But no one was keen on Tullen’s idea; it seemed far too risky, and they feared they’d be just as helpless and out of touch in a small town as they had been in the Meadow. None of the other Golds’ suggestions generated any traction either. When they reached the river, they stopped. They hadn’t eaten dinner, and they were all hungry. Tullen and Jenevy built a fire while Sall and Narre fetched a pot of river water to boil for canteen refills. They all settled down with jarred vegetables and dried meat.

  “Can I bless the food?” Narre asked.

  “If ever we needed Sava’s help, it’s now,” Jenevy said with a smile.

  They all bowed their heads, and Narre began to pray. But she didn’t just bless the food. She pleaded for safety and wisdom. When she started rambling on about the Meadow Dwellers, Tavi’s mind wandered.

  Narre often blessed their meals, but her prayers weren’t usually this long. Tavi didn’t mind listening to others pray; she just didn’t do much of it herself these days. She was pretty sure the words disappeared as soon as she spoke them. A pointless waste of breath.

  What would her father, a Savani shepherd, think if he could hear her thoughts? More than that, what would her older sister Tess think? Tess, who’d left years before to join a monastery, surely wouldn’t understand her younger sister’s doubts. Tavi pictured the monastery outside Savala, and suddenly she opened her eyes and blurted, “Tess!”

  The prayer wasn’t over yet, but every head snapped up. She knew she should be embarrassed, but Sava, if he existed, would probably understand. She grinned. “We should go to Tess,” she said.

  “Who’s Tess?” Ash asked.

  “My sister,” Tavi said. “She’s a monk.”

  Ash laughed. “You want us to go to a monastery? I’ll be struck by lightning if I get within sight of one!”

  Sall sat across the fire from Tavi. “We talked about this when we first left Savala,” he said. “You claimed they’d never let us in.”

  “You’re right; I was convinced of that. They’re even more private than the Meadow; Tess is only allowed to write us twice a year.”

  “What’s changed?” Tullen asked.

  “They’re private, but they care about justice, and they hate war. Those are some of the reasons Tess joined that order. We’ll tell them what happened at the Meadow, and maybe they’ll let us stay if they know Konner is building a violent army. It’ll be the perfect place for us.”

  “Why?” Wrey asked.

  “A monastery has some of the same benefits as the Meadow,” Tavi said. “People there are expected to be private, and the main building is closed to the public.”

  “Tavi,” Narre said, hesitation thick in her voice, “that’s what we said about the Meadow. ‘The perfect place to plan.’ And we couldn’t do much planning there, even though we tried. Could it be that the monastery just feels like . . .” She trailed off, looking to Sall for help.

  “I think what Narre’s wondering—and what I’m wondering too—is whether the monastery is just another safe place to hide.” Sall said.

  Tavi pulled back, her mouth dropping open. She looked around the group. “Is that what you all think? That I was hiding in the Meadow? That I’m a coward?”

  “No one would call you a coward,” Sall replied.

  “I think you just did!”

  Jenevy said, “This is the bravest group of people I’ve ever known, and, Tavi, you’re just as brave as anyone else here. But in the Meadow, you didn’t want to fight until we could do so safely. And what we saw yesterday—” Her voice broke, and she took a moment to breathe before continuing. “What we saw yesterday is that even the safest places aren’t sec
ure at all. I’ve always been a pacifist; I’m sure that comes as no surprise. But even I’m realizing we have to fight back. And we can’t wait until it’s safe. We’ll be waiting forever.”

  Tavi felt a lump in her own throat, too. She looked at her hands. She wanted to argue with what her friends were saying, but she couldn’t. They were right. In the Meadow, she’d gotten comfortable. She’d never given up, not really, but she’d lost the urgency she’d felt in Savala.

  Looking up, Tavi found all eyes on her. She kept her voice firm, trying to prevent any defensiveness from emerging. “The reason I think we should go to the monastery is because we can strategize there. Yes, the monks keep themselves isolated, but the monastery has one thing the Meadow doesn’t.”

  “What do they have?” Tullen asked.

  Tavi smiled. “Pilgrims. People go there to worship and seek wisdom. They don’t know it yet, but they’ll also be coming to share information with us. Can you imagine? We’ve talked about how we wish we could travel all around Cormina to find out how our new kingdom is faring. Instead, Cormina will travel to us.”

  She could see the light of understanding fill every face. “That’s not all!” she said, her excitement building again. “It’s in the mountains outside Savala, so if we decide to go to the capital, we’ll be close.”

  She made herself stop talking so the others could respond. She waited nervously, the tendons in her neck so taut that she thought she could pluck them and play a song.

  Sall broke the silence. He held up his canteen like he was making a toast, and said, “Let’s go visit some monks.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Forget everything I wrote to you; I will be perfectly happy if the king and queen ignore my little corner of Cormina. Did you know our country has an army now? I would not have known, had a group of soldiers not marched through my family’s land. We watched from the windows as they trampled my mother’s garden. When we walked out later, we found they’d pulled up many of our carrots, taking some and tossing others on the ground.