Facing the Fire

by Carol Beth Anderson

  “Yes.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes.”

  “Tullen?”

  Her voice came out louder than she’d expected. It echoed off the cave wall.

  “Hmm?” he replied.

  She was still watching the water; she couldn’t quite look at him yet. “If you want to stay in the Meadow . . .”

  She paused, hoping he’d interrupt and assure her that he didn’t. But he was silent.

  Deep breath. A swallow, and another breath. “If you want to stay in the Meadow, and you want me here, too, I’ll stay with you.”

  “Why?”

  The word was so quiet, yet it pulled at her stubborn eyes, drawing them up to him. When she met his gaze, she couldn’t look away. She’d started this; she wouldn’t succumb to her fears now.

  Her voice was barely a whisper. “Because I love you.”

  She wasn’t sure what response she expected, but it wasn’t for his mouth and eyes to both widen in disbelief. Oh, Sava, no, she’d messed up, and now she couldn’t take it back. It was too late.

  Tullen said, “Do you know—”

  He stopped, inhaling deeply, and in the span of that breath, Tavi’s racing mind finished his question in three different ways. Do you know how silly you are? Do you know they’ll never let you live here? Do you know I’m in love with someone else?

  “Do you know,” he began again, “how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?”

  Now it was her mouth dropping open, her eyes that were wide, and Tullen smiled, then laughed.

  Tavi responded with a hesitant smile, still not sure she’d heard him right.

  His laughter stopped, and he reached out and placed a cool hand on her warm cheek. “Do you know something else?”

  “What?”

  “How torturous it’s been to be friends with you?”

  She drew back, and his hand fell. “What?” she asked again, her voice loud and indignant now.

  “I wasn’t done.” Another smile. “Do you know how torturous it’s been to be friends with you when all I can think about is how much I’m in love with you?”

  She felt her mouth go slack again. “Oh.” Another swallow. “I didn’t know that.” She reached out a hand and wasn’t sure where it would land until her fingers found his lips. He smiled, and she did too. She moved her hand across the thick beard on his cheek, then, lightly, over his ear, which resulted in him closing his eyes and letting out a shuddering breath. Then her hand was in his hair, her fingers tangled in it. She’d touched his hair before, plenty of times, but this was different.

  It was all different now. The whole world was different. Because he loved her.

  She lowered her hand, and he took it in his, then did the same with her other hand. His thumbs rubbed across her knuckles. “Tavi,” he began, “I don’t—”

  But she interrupted him, not with words, but with a flood of magic, loosed by the simple, perfect touch of his hands on hers. They both laughed loudly, breaking the hush of the room. Tavi reveled in the freedom she felt; there was no need to hide her magic. Yes, she wanted him. And she wanted him to know it. She wanted everyone to know it.

  When the laughter subsided, Tavi prompted, “You were saying?”

  “I was saying,” he replied, still smiling, “I don’t want to live in the Meadow. I love the people here. I’m glad I’m at peace with them. But this isn’t home.”

  “Where is home, then?”

  He took a moment to consider that. Then he said, “It would be nice to go back to Oren. But, Tavi, it doesn’t really matter where we go. Home is where you are.”

  She let out a soft laugh, and he watched her, mild confusion in his smile. “I was going to tell you the same thing,” she said.

  He held up both her glowing hands, and suddenly his eyebrows rose.

  “What is it?” Tavi asked.

  “The blue spots,” he said, looking up. “Maybe they’re glow bugs.”

  She laughed. “Maybe they are.”

  “Like you.”

  He stood and pulled her up to stand in front of him. He let go of her hands, then wrapped his arms around her. She slid her own arms around his waist and rested her cheek and ear on his chest. She let out another laugh.

  “What?” he murmured against her hair.

  “Your heart. It’s beating so fast.”

  He laughed, the rumble of it thundering from his chest to her ear. A few seconds later, he whispered, “Tavi.”

  “Yes?”

  His breath was warm on her hair. “Please kiss me.”

  She pulled back and looked up at him, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth. He’d already lowered his face toward hers, and she watched as the top of his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. She moved her hand from his heart up to his shoulder, and then to the back of his neck. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when they opened, they shone with a desperate plea.

  Her smile widened, and she stood on her toes and raised her face toward his. The moment their lips touched, his arms tightened around her, and her magic surged, sending warmth all through her. She leaned into him, not sure she could stand on her own; her head was so light and deliciously dizzy. She couldn’t get enough air, enough of his lips, enough of him.

  It wasn’t a sweet kiss, not after so long. Their noses kept bumping each other, and his beard scratched her chin. No, this wasn’t gentle; this was nearly two years of missed kisses, compressed into moments; it was a kiss that made up for the lost past and shouted its promises for the future. Tavi loved every awkward, perfect second of it.

  At last, the kiss ended, but Tavi only pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. “That was”—she sighed, and joy parted her lips wide—“wonderful.”

  “Wonderful?” Tullen ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “It was so much more than that.”

  Aba insisted the Golds stay in the Meadow that night, but they chose to remain in the forest. The next morning, Tavi woke long before sunrise. She brought magic into her hands for light and tiptoed across their little campsite to sit by Tullen and watch him sleep. A silly smile broke over her lips and persisted as long as she watched his serene face.

  After a few minutes, she woke the others. They ate the last of the food they’d brought from the farm. Tullen went into the Meadow for a short time to say goodbye to his family. It was still utterly dark when he returned and asked, “Who’s first?”

  “Why don’t you take Ellea?” Narre suggested.

  Tullen smiled and turned to the midwife. “I’m sure you’re ready to go home. Shall we?”

  She looked uncertain, but Tullen assured her she’d be comfortable. He knelt down; Ellea positioned herself on his back; and off they sprinted.

  Today they’d all go home, one at a time, on Tullen’s back. Tavi couldn’t stop smiling. But as excited as she was, her nerves kept prompting her to tear apart leaves she picked up from the forest floor. She’d gotten so used to hiding. Each of the Golds had a letter from Camalyn herself that should prevent them from being arrested by any of the former king and queen’s representatives in Oren. Even so, it would be strange to enter society again.

  She sat with Sall and Narre around a campfire, laughing and talking. It felt odd to sit for so long without discussing their plans for taking down a monarchy. But it was nice. Very nice.

  Over four hours later, Tullen ran back into their camp. He carried food, provided by the midwives who’d been thrilled to see Ellea. It was nowhere near lunchtime, but they all ate. Then Tullen carried Sall away. Narre and Tavi continued relaxing around the fire.

  After a few minutes of silence, Narre asked, “Do you think gray magic will ever go away?”

  Tavi let out a long sigh and kept her eyes on the dark smoke rising from the fire. “I talked to Camalyn and Colonel Stemming before they left. They’ve already drafted several laws, and they hope the new representatives will approve them.”

  “What kind of laws?”

  “Anyone who currently has gray magic wi
ll be monitored closely, and there will be strict punishments for misusing magic. If someone is desperate enough to get a gray awakening, they’ll be imprisoned, possibly for life.”

  “Do you think it’ll work?”

  “I think—” Tavi paused, bit her lip, and started again. “When you spill flour, do you ever get every speck of it back in the bin?”

  “You forget who you’re talking to. My mother barely let me in the kitchen after I started a fire in the kitchen sink a few years ago.” Both girls laughed but quickly grew somber again. “We can’t go back to how it was, can we?” Narre asked softly.

  “No. But think about all the people who were willing to fight the Grays. It’s not just us anymore.”

  “The darkness isn’t going away, but neither is the light,” Narre said.

  Tavi smiled at her across the flames, then walked around to sit next to her. When the fire burned down to glowing coals, they fed it more wood and watched the flames burst back to life, flooding the little clearing with bright warmth.

  Tullen returned again in the mid-afternoon. Once his magic had recharged, Tavi sent Narre with him, insisting, “I’d love some time alone.”

  As soon as they were gone, she let out a sigh of delight. After putting out the fire, she ambled through the forest. Soon she came across a tree covered in antlerfruit. She managed to pry off one stubborn piece of it before deciding that when Tullen returned, she’d bring him back to the spot so he could use his knife to cut off as much as he wanted.

  He finally sprinted to their campsite. It was early evening, and he lifted a bag. “Dinner!”

  Tavi opened the bag, and the first thing she pulled out was a red carrot. The only person in Oren who grew red carrots was her mother. Tavi’s jaw went slack, and she looked into Tullen’s eyes.

  He sported a big grin. “I knew your mother would be waiting for you, so I stopped by the house.”

  Trying to hold back tears, Tavi dug further in the bag. She pulled out a small loaf of crusty bread. It had a beautiful design on top, in the shape of a leaf. Just like Misty used to make.

  At the very bottom of the bag, beneath five apples and huge servings of cheese and sausage, was a slip of paper. My dear girl, I’ve missed you. That was the whole message, written in Tavi’s mother’s perfect penmanship. Tavi held the note to her chest and let the tears flow. She would hug her mother tonight. Everything would feel right again.

  After they’d eaten, they put the fire out. Tavi hopped on Tullen’s back, and he grasped her pant-clad legs and began running. She led him to the tree covered in antlerfruit, and he was so excited, he spun around in circles until Tavi was dizzy and squealing. He filled his pockets with the awful stuff, and they kept going.

  Tavi was still giddy from the previous day in the cavern, and everything in the forest seemed to be more than it had been two days before. The trees were greener, the creek more cheerful in its gurgling path through the forest. She activated her scent gift, and the forest smells—life, death, growth—were more pungent and sweeter than ever before.

  As they ran, the oranges and reds of a magnificent sunset peeked through the trees in the west. The minutes passed languidly by, and the sunset extended further and further until the vermillion light shone directly over them. In awe, they stopped and kissed under the blazing sky, which seemed to bless them in its vibrancy.

  They continued to run, occasionally talking, but mostly soaking in the magnificence of their surroundings. And all at once, Tavi saw the truth of what Tess had pointed out months earlier. There was magic everywhere, all around her. In the dying, purple sunset revealing itself in flashes beyond the trees. In the squirrels scampering out of Tullen’s path and the breeze that sang through the tree branches. The sky darkened, and Tavi saw magic in the first stars that glowed with whispers of glittery light.

  And there was yet another magic. An unseen magic, entirely distinct from the creation surrounding them or the gifts that had entered their bodies at birth. This gift was older than those others, and sweeter, and even stronger. It was the magic of desire and devotion. Of love.

  Tavi turned her eyes to the twilight sky, and her mouth widened into a smile, a wordless prayer of wonder.

  She held on tight as they raced through the trees toward home.

  A Note from the Author

  Thanks for reading Facing the Fire! Will you take a minute to write a short review on Amazon or Goodreads? It’s the best way to let me know if you’d like me to keep writing books like these—and to help others find this story.

  Let’s stay in touch! Stay up-to-date on my writing, including early cover and title reveals and info on free and discounted books. Sign up as an Email Insider at carolbethanderson.com.

  Want to delve deeper into the life of one of the characters? Download a free deleted scene from Facing the Sun at BookHip.com/JQQBRH.

  This was my first series, and as I created it, I felt a part of me come alive that had been dormant for a long time. I hope you loved the books. But I don’t think there’s any way you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them!

  Writing is a risk. Publishing is an even bigger risk. Like Tavi, I have to face the possibility of failure. And like Tavi, I believe it’s worth trying. Is there a dream you’re waiting on? It’s worth trying. Even if you fail.

  I’d love to hear from you at beth@carolbethanderson.com or through my website, carolbethanderson.com!

  -Beth

  About the Author

  Carol Beth Anderson is a native of Arizona and now lives in Leander, TX, outside Austin. She has a husband, two kids, a miniature schnauzer, and more fish than anyone knows what to do with. Besides writing, she loves baking sourdough bread, knitting, and eating cookies and cream ice cream.

  Acknowledgments

  The series is over! But it never would have gotten to this point if not for the incredible people who helped along the way.

  Throughout this series, my mom has been my primary alpha reader. She’s courageous enough to read the book in its unrevised form and give me feedback! Thank you so much, Mom (Cathy Norris)!

  I adore my beta readers! They read the book after I’ve made my initial revisions and gave me feedback on content, grammar, and more. My editor says my beta readers are the best, and she should know! Thank you to Becky Brickman, Stephanie Curtner, Kim Decker, Brenda Elliott, Michele Gryniewicz, Charee Harrison, Leah Hodges, my twin sister Becki Norris, Julie O’Brien, DeDe Pollnow, Renee Thompson, Madysun Waldrop, Toni Wall, and Nicole Wells. My son Eli read the book after it had been through incredible beta readers and an awesome editor, and his eagle eye still managed to find an error we’d all somehow missed. Thanks, Eli! And if you’ve been reading these acknowledgements and think you’d like to be a beta reader for my next book, drop me a line at beth@carolbethanderson.com.

  Fantasy books have all these weird, made-up names, and sometimes it’s hard for me to think of them. So I asked my newsletter subscribers for help, and some of their suggestions ended up in this book! (Psst…sign up for the newsletter at carolbethanderson.com.) I’ll list the name of the person who gave each suggestion, followed by the character name(s) they suggested in parentheses. Thanks to Jamie Brown (Veylen), Deann Flores (Jenevy), Shelia Keiser (Aba, Revinee), Emma Grace Kramer (Yamah), Sheri Mayo (Rayel), and Renee Thompson (Wrey). And if I killed off the character whose name you suggested . . . well . . . as I might say on Twitter, #sorrynotsorry!

  Thank you to Ina May Gaskin, whose books taught me so much about the beauty of natural childbirth and inspired me to pursue such a goal. (The hands-and-knees maneuver Ellea uses is the Gaskin maneuver.)

  Sonnet Fitzgerald, thank you for editing my books and giving me so much encouragement!

  Mariah Sinclair, thank you for lending your creativity to my covers. They’re beautiful!

  Thank you to my friends for listening, supporting, and letting me be who I am. I love you all!

  Thank you, God, for the amazing gift of magic, in the form of creativity.


  And if you’ve stuck with these books all the way to the end of these long acknowledgements . . . wow! Thank you for being a reader and for choosing these books.

  -Carol Beth Anderson

  Leander, Texas

  2018