Whoever Kills The Innocent

by Lothar Birkner

  Why you can see this only, when you're dead, he asks.

  This would be helpful in life too!

  He enjoyed not living in the world he had known up to now. He was no longer caught in time and space. He had understanding about all things at once, without any outspoken explanation. He recognized that all contradictions and conflicts that he considered earlier as very serious, did not exist. He recognized a sense in everything what was happening and what was going to happen. He felt a perfect harmony. Everything was easy, everything was connected.

  Bruno knew now that he immediately could be at any place where he directed his thoughts to. He just had remembered, the time when he played with Tommy, the dog of his childhood, on the meadows of the River Rhine, now he saw the lush green of the Rhine, he heard the gentle noise of the waves and also Tommy's merrily barking sounds in his ear.

  He thought of a beach holiday in Holland. At once he feels a salty taste on his lips, he felt the sand of the dunes beneath his feet, and he saw how a wave hit after another on the beach, behind the endless expanse of the sea.

  He also recognized everything in his life, what he could have done better, how many times he had hurt others without need.

  His parents, for example. Of course, he had to go his own way and not be directed by their wishes, but making fun of their values and that even in public had not been necessary and had deeply hurt them.

  He understood now that he could have gone through life with more understanding and love.

  But nobody judged or condemned him.

  No condemnation at all.

  He was very close to his parents now, who were no longer alive. And he felt their understanding and forgiveness in his situation now. And continually he was more and more aware of the importance of love.

  Love filled the whole universe, whereas he had up to now always thought hatred, struggle, and war were everywhere in this world.

  This world?

  Where he was now or where he was he before? Perhaps there was no clear separation line?

  He'd always learned that his existence, yes, every existence was possible only in time and space. He was taught to distinguish between good and evil.

  But the experience he was making now happened outside of time and space.

  Between good and evil, right and wrong, there was not even a difference here. At once, he knew everything that without words were necessary to convey this knowledge to him.

  He dove into a feeling of perfect LOVE.

  He was aware of the meaning of his life. At the same time, he dove into a deep knowledge and understanding. A feeling of total knowledge penetrated him. He understood the history of the universe. He knew what was before the Big Bang, and he knew what the universe really was. He understood what was hidden behind past, present, and future. He saw evolution, its meaning and its goal. He recognized the role of the people, his positive action, but also why people often hurt each other and harmed themselves. War and natural disasters, everything had its meaning, its reason. A logical development and planning was behind it.

  He saw everything and each unfolded and grew together. He saw and understood the far-reaching consequences of every action, even the small and seemingly insignificant. He understood deeper meanings of everything, as quantum physics, biology, and physics, DNA, quantum mechanics. He recognized the final goal of the evolution, it became clear that he was only a part of a great unit; not himself alone, but everyone, every animal, every plant, every cell, this Earth just like every other planet, the universe, and the light.

  Everything was insolvable and interconnected.

  An overwhelming sense of unity, happiness, and closeness flowed through him. His awareness and his body were one, perfect for himself, and perfect as part of a whole.

  He was now in the possession of a truth that didn`t rely on human experience or human ratio. The truth our intellect was able to understand and our scientific possibilities could prove is only a small fraction of truth that he found now in his present condition. Apparently contrary statements were now part of a higher oneness. He was fascinated, and he felt deep harmony in himself.

  Bruno thought of Bian. He should have said goodbye to her before leaving to this other world. But he had no time to do so. Now his thoughts went to her and at the same time he was with her. She was sitting in a hospital hallway and crying loudly all the time. He wanted to talk to her and comfort her:

  “Why are you crying Bian, I am okay!”

  He put his arm around her.

  But apparently Bian could neither hear him nor feel him. He was dead!

  But he wanted to give her all his love. Bian, however, felt absolutely nothing of it. There were now two forces fighting. He wanted this new kind of existence with so much happiness, harmony, and strength to continue. But he felt also an incredibly powerful force that wanted him to be physically with Bian, that was a very strong desire, too.

  Both feelings were within him.

  At once he felt an invisible hand that was around him gently but incredibly strong. Irresistible, this power began to pull him. He was back in this spiral tunnel and he moved now in the opposite direction as before. He felt not as free and floating as recently. His body lost all easiness and was again heavy as always and Bruno once again felt pain in various parts of his body. Bruno felt the old familiar physicality and was more disappointed than happy when he heard loud voices that happily shouted:

  “We made it! His heartbeat is back. He is alive!”

  Bruno was able to open his eyes for a short moment. He was now in a white, sterile room. He was in terrible pain. He was tired and exhausted. He lost consciousness.

  *******

  Bian sat on a bench in the hospital floor and cried.

  Her own injury was uncomplicated and not life-threatening. A stray bullet had injured her shoulder. The wound had already been fixed. She wore a shoulder arm bandage.

  But Bruno had been injured very seriously. The doctors had told her little enough, but she knew that she must fear for his life. That danger had totally smashed her. A life without Bruno? She could not even imagine this.

  Right! He also often ruined her nerves. His vanity, his know-it-all attitude and his long talk about everything and nothing, his laziness to help in the household, all this had annoyed her often. But now all these things appeared an unimportant trifle. Bruno was such a lovable guy. Or must she say, he was. A shiver ran down her spine, when she thought about his possible death. She really could always count on him. Loving and tender and helpful towards everyone, these qualities characterized him quite well. And above all, he was her Bruno. Life would be so empty without him. She could not hold back the tears.

  While she sat crying on the bench, Sandy came limping on two crutches. Both greeted each other. Both got away with rather unimportant injuries and bruises. Sandy told her that Andrea hadn`t been as lucky. She had to undergo surgery and Sandy could not even talk to her. At least the doctors had assured her, that there was no danger to her life.

  “If I could say that of Bruno, I´d be happy, " Bian said.

  "I only know that it`s very serious. A nurse told me that the doctors are fighting for his life, it seems to be very critical."

  Tears flowed again.

  “I need Bruno. I love him so much!”

  Sandy calmingly wrapped her arm around Bian. She tried to comfort her and to give hope. But she really had doubts about a happy ending for Bruno. At least Bruno wasn`t dead, the doctors would say so if he was, and as long he was alive, there was hope. This argument made sense to Bian. She felt comforted, But he was in great danger without any doubt. And even if Bruno would stay alive, it was possible he might be disabled forever. That would be tragic, too.

  While the two talked about the possible prospects for Bruno, someone appeared, Sandy knew quite well. It was Mike, Sandy's supervisor, that she had ignored all the time. He asked Sandy to go aside, because he wanted to speak to in private.

  Bian was left alone with her dark tho
ughts. She didn`t stay alone for long time. A middle-aged man appeared and spoke to her politely:

  “Excuse me, you are the companion of Mr. Bruno Baltes, the taxi driver?”

  And as Bian agreed and he continued:

  “My name is Thomas Gerster. We have not yet met up to now. I was caught together with your partner by the terrorists and I was freed by the action of courageous young taxi driver. I know only her first name, it`s Andrea. I was saved. But Andrea and Bruno went back to save the others. I am here to ask what did happen to these two? I hope they are okay. And I would like to meet Andrea. I want to thank her, she saved me and she really was so brave.”

  When Bian heard this, she had tears in her eyes again. Bruno was already saved and Andrea could have stayed in safety too. Both risked their lives to save her and the two others. And for Bruno, this could cost his life now. With a weak voice, she answered Gerster:

  “Andrea is hurt, but she will certainly survive. Unfortunately, I cannot say that about Bruno. I fear his chances to survive are very questionable.”

  Gerster was shocked. He put his hand gently on Bian’s upper arm and said:

  “I´m so sorry and I wish from the bottom of my heart all the best for him. I've always liked Bruno. Frankly spoken, I was recently very angry because he has pulled me in this predicament. But he has been exploited without his knowledge. He didn`t know what they really planned to do. In fact, Bruno has been always a good guy. I'm absolutely honest. I wish him all the very best.”

  Then, Thomas Gerster asked where he could find Andrea. Bian pointed to Sandy, who was a few meters further away in conversation with her boss Mike. Gerster went to her. Bian was once again alone with her dark thoughts and agonizing worries.

  But two to three minutes later Sandy came back to Bian. She had some news for her:

  “This Martin, who called himself also Saleh, is the one whom we owe the intervention of our special forces. He has made a deal with the CIA. His wife, Fatima, a Palestinian woman, was in jail in Israel. He offered us Suleiman, the number two in Al-Qaeda dead or alive, against freedom for Fatima.

  “Because the Israelis owed us one favor, we could make this deal. Martin has led to Suleiman by locating his cell phone and the Special Forces could strike well prepared from two sides at the same time, so that the terrorists didn't had a chance. Almost at the same time, when the intervention of the Special Forces began, Andrea, Bruno, and Martin directly attacked Suleiman and killed him. Unfortunately, our saviors have been injured all hard. Martin has unfortunately just died in hospital from his injuries.”

  This news affected Bian like a punch. She thought what she heard about Martin could be a bad omen for Bruno.

  “No that must not happen!” she exclaimed loudly.

  Sandy calmingly put her arm around Bian.

  “Bruno is a tough guy, he will survive. By the way, Mike assures me that we are keeping our deal. Martin's wife, Fatima, who has been already released from jail, has the permission to leave Israel to a country of her own choice. And I have here a letter. They found it in Martin`s wallet. It is sealed and addressed to Bruno. Shall we open it?”

  "No,” Bian very emotionally said.

  “Bruno is not dead! The letter is addressed to him, and as long as he lives, this letter should be personally opened by him or with his consent.”

  Sandy nodded and accepted Bians decision.

  And Sandy had still other information:

  “I quit my job at the Secret Service. I did this in agreement with Mike. I will go back to the States soon. I have a degree in law and I will try to get the admission as a lawyer in New York. The fight against terrorism is okay and necessary. But it`s not my thing to do it in the Secret Service.”

  Bian thought of Martin.

  His role was absolutely contradictory. At first, he had done everything to pull Bruno into this thing, later he honestly did his best to get Bruno and the others free. He played a dangerous game and he died in it.

  But, now her thoughts went to Yvonne. Her friend Yvonne had been entirely innocent. She wanted to prove just solidarity with Bruno and her. And for that she had lost her life. She was murdered, brutally beheaded. An innocent victim of terrorism, like thousands of others. Her name would not be mentioned on any memorial. But in our hearts and in our minds she will live forever! And what about Bruno?

  In that very moment, someone in doctor’s clothing joined them. He turned to Bian:

  “Are you the life companion of Mr. Bruno Baltes?”

  "Oh God, yes!”

  Bians heart almost stopped. She was scared to death She tried to read from the face of the doctor. What kind of message did he bring?

  "I have good news for you. Mr. Baltes will survive despite serious injuries. He will recover completely and there will be no permanent damage. In the meantime, it was very critical and he was for a short time clinically dead. But he has survived the critical phase now and after some medical examinations, we are very optimistic that no brain damage will remain. At the moment, he sleeps and needs plenty of rest. But tomorrow you can visit him.”

  Bian jumped up. Tears of joy flowed now down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around Sandy, so that her crutches fell to the ground. Both nearly lost their balance and are just about falling to the ground. But they laughed. They shook hands with the doctor with joy and gratitude.

  “I will go to Andrea and tell her everything.” Sandy said.

  *******

  On the same day, the White House published a short press statement: The Special Forces of the United States Army led an anti-terror action again Al Qaeda. On this occasion, Suleiman, the deputy leader of this terror group was killed, because he resisted his arrest. Details about place and time of the action are not published because of national security. Pictures of the killed Suleiman will be given to the press. The documents seized in this action are still being evaluated. Under the line this is a great success of the anti-terrorist campaign of the United States and an important blow against international terrorism.

  Approximately at the same time, Belgian police published the following statement for the national press: There has been a big shooting between unknown forces at an abandoned farm in the region of Liège. Although the Belgian police were quickly at the scene of crime, all participants had already left the place at this time. The police suspect the offenders in the area of international crime. Belgian citizens are obviously not involved, nor have been injured. The whole matter is still under investigation.

  No one who read both press releases, had the idea it was about the same matter.

  Bian, Sandy, and Andrea were pleased that Bruno's health development was progressing so well that they could visit him all together the next day. Andrea was still in a wheelchair, pushed by Sandy. They all entered Bruno's hospital room. Bruno was still pretty exhausted, lying in his bed. His recovery would take certainly a few weeks, but then he would be quite the old one. Also, Andrea would be able after some weeks to run without walking aids. She proudly told everyone that she was invited by Sandy to the United States. The beginning of a great friendship? Or maybe even more?

  Sandy smiled, as she reported that the U.S. Government will pay for Andrea`s stay in the United States. She has arranged this with Mike.

  “If the Special Forces of the US Army claimed the honor of having killed the number two Al-Qaeda, the person who really did this should get at least a small compensation. So, we will not give any comment about the press release. Of course, we know, Suleiman wasn`t shot not by the famous Special Forces, but by an amateur, by the young German taxi driver Andrea. After she has recovered, she will have four weeks of vacation and Andrea and I will travel from east coast to west coast through America,” Sandy said.

  They talked about how the big catastrophe was avoided. Five-meter thick concrete walls could be penetrated by the rockets that the terrorists wanted to use. That means several times thicker than a wall of the reactor. In addition to this, the reactor walls in Tihange were known to be
cracked.

  “Really good luck. And we all four are lucky, we're alive,” Sandy says.

  “I am no longer scared of death,” Bruno remarks.

  He told about his experience at the threshold of death.

  The others reticently listened to his words. A hallucination, a kind of dream or something similar. Bruno didn`t accept all these interpretations.

  “I know dreams and hallucinations. What I've experienced, while I was already clinically dead, is something quite different. I'm sure. And I've actually had insight and knowledge of all things and all contexts. It was as if I held Infinity in the palm of my hand and eternity was just a second. But this insight is gone now. Probably it has to be so, as long as we are bound in time and space. We can`t have knowledge and insight into all these deep correlations. But the only thing I remember is that all questions are responded with love and respect.

  “You may think, good old Bruno is a dough head now. But I tell you, we live in a good universe. Nobody needs to be afraid and certainly not of death. And there`s a reason for everything.”

  The others were very thoughtful. There was so much conviction in Bruno`s words.

  Sandy asked, “If you have been beyond the brink of death, then you must have been also quite close to God.”

  Bruno responds, “I don't know. But maybe this wonderful feeling of harmony and of oneness that I had being in this dimension exactly this what we call God.”

  Andrea said, "It would be wonderful if God would speak clearly again to the people. Then, so ghastly things like war and terror would not happen.”

  Bian sighed, “But God is silent.”

  “Perhaps God isn`t silent, we are mostly only deaf in this life,” Bruno interjected.

  Finally, Bian remembered Martin's letter and gave it to Bruno. He opened the envelope. There was chain with a golden half amulet and a handwritten letter in it. He read:

  Dear Bruno,

  If you are reading these lines, the story has ended so that you survived and I'm dead.

  First, I want to apologize honestly to you, that I have used you in this game like a chess piece. I wanted freedom after a long terrible time for my wife, Fatima. I made a deal with United States/Israel officials. I had no problem offering them the head of this medieval fanatic Suleiman for this deal. Fatima would have otherwise perished in prison. Please make sure that she gets the enclosed amulet and she will know she was the great love of my life. It is more valuable to die for her than for anything which I fought in my life for.