Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  He listens carefully as I speak, and waits a few agonizing minutes after I've finished before replying. "Well, you’re kind of right. What you said about true mates is mostly true, except the part about fate making a mistake. That’s pretty much impossible. Your true mate is like a mirror of your soul. They can only be as soft as you, as mean as you and as controlling as you. The relationship between true mates is meant to be one of equals. Although, if you have a hidden side of yourself you’ve yet to acknowledge, then when you see your true mate acting like an ass, it will probably come as a surprise, at least until you accept that asshole part within yourself. But if you're a kind loving person through and through, then your mate will be also."

  I want to object, to use Drew as an example of how wrong that is, but then I remember some of the things I did were not exactly kind. I don't want to believe that’s it’s true, that I might be more like Drew than I care to admit.

  "Then you have your normal mates. Now, they aren't technically mates in the truest sense of the word. A wolf can be drawn to another for various reasons. If you have a submissive wolf who likes to stay hidden in the shadows rather than interact with others, they’re going to attract a wolf who is similar.

  "On the other hand, if you have someone who is like you, with an Alpha personality, then they’re going to attract wolves who are also powerful. Like Kaden and me. You weren't invited to the party last night just because Kaden stupidly spilled coffee on you. That was just a happy accident. Even if that hadn’t happened, we would have found a way to invite you. We were already both drawn to you, as are a number of our pack members actually. We wanted the chance to get to know you and figure out why we all felt like your mates, and now we understand."

  I stare at him with wide eyes, not quite sure how to respond because what he's saying can't possibly be true. If it is, then that means what Seth and I had wasn't anything special, that the relationship we fought so hard to make work was based on nothing more than me being a strong female that drew his attention? No, I won't believe that.

  I push back from my chair at the kitchen island and stand, looking down at Alex. "I refuse to believe that my mate was nothing more than a man attracted to my level of power. And as for you, Kaden and any other wolves who think I might be mate material, make sure you tell them to steer clear of me. None of you want to see what happens when I'm pushed too far."

  I move past him quickly, pausing only to rinse my cup out in the sink before leaving the room. When I get to the doorway, Alex speaks up. "You can try to ignore us all you want, Katie, but soon that same part of you that was drawn to your mate is going to be drawn to us as well. It's chemistry and the more you fight it, the stronger it will get."

  I don't respond, instead rushing out of there and going back to my temporary room. Once inside, I see that Kaden remains sleeping in his bed. I sink into the spare bed, my eyes heavy with the need to sleep, but all these thoughts going through my mind are driving me crazy.

  I snuggle into the mound of pillows and close my eyes, feeling safe in a house full of wolves, yet at the same time, filled with worry about what they might want from me. It’s starting to sound like they want more than I could possibly give. And now, I’m beginning to wonder if the things Drew taught me about mating were all lies. He told me we could have multiple mates yes, but he claimed the chances of another wolf being drawn to me were slim, considering I already had a true mate and had been claimed by both him and Seth. But here I am. Faced with the possibility that Alex and Kaden are both drawn to me in the way that mates are.

  But worst of all, if Alex was telling me the truth, then it means that Seth lied to me...

  I groan, trying to figure out what the blaring noise right by my ear is. That's when I remember I have a class this morning and that the noise is most likely my alarm. I reach out, feeling for my phone on the spare pillow, sure that's where I put it. Instead of my phone, though, my hand brushes against something warm and firm.

  My eyes snap open, wondering if I'm still dreaming when I meet Kaden's gray ones. He's propped on his elbow, grinning down at me. His gaze flicks from my face to my hand, which to my dismay, is touching his chest.

  "You know, Katie, if you wanted to sleep in my bed and maul me, you could have just asked."

  I scoot back, intending to put some space between us. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how close I was to the edge of the bed and end up falling onto the floor with an ‘oomph.’

  I get up angrily. "What the hell are you doing? I thought you understood I didn't want you in my bed!" I shriek at him, growing angrier the bigger his smile grows.

  "Katie, you were in my bed. You climbed in sometime after you went to sleep. I just left you, figuring you could use a bit of sleep. It’s nothing to get embarrassed about," he teases and I cross my hands over my chest.

  Rather than respond, I decide to ignore him and grab my phone from beside his bed, where I must have put it when I climbed into Kaden's bed.

  I turn away from him and stomp into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind me. Then I click the lock for good measure.

  I lean against the vanity and look at my reflection, taking in my red cheeks, which highlight the smattering of freckles across my nose. Stupid pale skin showing freckles so easily. I turn the cold tap on, trying to push away the arousal I felt after waking up in Kaden’s bed.

  Why the hell did I even climb into bed with him in the first place? I don't sleepwalk. I guess there’s a first time for everything, but why would I? Maybe everything Alex said last night just messed with my head?

  Still, it hasn’t even been a full year since I lost Seth and my parents. Isn't it too soon to start to feel anything for another person, even something as primal as lust?

  Fuck! I slam my hands on the counter, feeling my anger come bubbling back up. Why is this happening? All I wanted from Kaden was a friendship. Then, when I found out he was a wolf, it felt like I could truly have that. But now, after everything Alex told me, I don’t think I can let that happen. I need to get some space from him before I do something stupid. I need to keep my distance from all of them.

  Today after class, I'll go see if Charity minds me crashing at her place for a bit. Who knows, maybe I can take the opportunity to develop our friendship more.

  I'm determined to prove Kaden wrong about not letting myself get close to anyone.

  Once I've freshened up, having brushed my teeth with my finger again, I get undressed. Then I curse when I realize I forgot my goddamn bag out there in the room with Kaden. I can either get dressed and go back out there to grab my bag, or I can walk out there in my underwear.

  Screw it. Kaden should be used to nudity by now as wolves all strip before changing into their other form. So what’s the harm in me walking out there in my underwear just to get a change of clothes?

  Before I can second guess myself, I pull open the door and hurry into the room. I head straight for my bag, clothed only in my pale pink bra and matching panties. But when I reach my bag, I freeze, noticing that the scent in the room is different from before. With wide eyes, I turn to see Kaden and Alex both staring at me.

  Their gazes are filled with lust and I immediately regret coming out here with so little on. They probably think I'm doing it just to tease them, but that wasn’t my intention at all. Shit, I really need to get away from here and clear my head.

  I do my best to ignore their gazes on me while I reach into my bag and begin pulling clothes out.

  I can hear Alex and Kaden arguing in hushed tones. If I really wanted to know what they were saying, I could, but I decide to tune them out, instead focusing on the task at hand. I’m about to step into my pants when I feel a pair of hands gripping my hips tightly.

  I stiffen and straighten, which causes the body behind me to be pressed firmly against me. Despite the waves of arousal rushing through me, I'm also one pissed off girl. "If you don't let go of me this instant, I will dislocate your fingers, and I promise I will enjoy it," I growl out, fight
ing the sudden, intense need that rocks through me.

  Fuck, I know what this feeling is. My heat cycle has started early. The touch on my hips thankfully disappears, and I begin to take in ragged breaths. How the fuck am I going to get out of this situation?

  When a heat cycle starts, you become overwhelmed with lust and feel the need to fuck for days on end, that is, unless your mate marks you in his scent. That suppresses the desire for a short time, but you are still going to need that itch scratched before long, whether it be from the real thing or a poor imitation. These past months, I've used the dildo in my bedside drawer to get me by, but I know there's no way I'm going to be able to walk through a house full of wolves without wanting to touch them, or without them wanting to claim me, a female in her prime.

  I turn around to meet Alex's gaze, since he's the one standing only a step away. His eyes are filled with horror and he glances down at his hands before stammering out, "I'm so sorry, Katie. I don't know what came over me.” He turns to Kaden for answers, but Kaden looks just as clueless as Alex.

  As I look at Kaden, I can see his hands clenching at his sides, which makes me admire his strength for being able to fight off the pheromones. But even as I think that, he takes a step towards me, his eyes widening when he realizes what he's done. Even Seth had trouble keeping his hands off me in the days leading up to a heat. Drew, however, was able to ignore my heat as if it wasn't even happening.

  "It's alright, Alex. There’s no need to apologize. My heat just started a few days earlier than I expected. Maybe being around you guys triggered it, I really don’t know. But once I'm out of the room, you guys should be okay. How many other wolves are downstairs, though?" I ask, already dreading the answer.

  Because, if it was just these two in the house, I could probably make it out. They seem to have the restraint to let me go, even though Alex gave in to his instincts a mere second ago. But if there are other guys in the house, especially ones who've never claimed a female, then I have no chance on making it out of here. One touch from another male is going to send my lust skyrocketing.

  Kaden takes in a deep breath, his eyes flickering to the amber of his wolf as he stares at me. "There are thirty-one wolves here, not including us."

  "Fuck!” I really didn’t want to have to do this, but I can’t see any other way. “Okay then, there's no other option. You're going to have to mark me. Maybe with both of your scents. It will buy me some time before the heat gets unbearable. I should be able to make it out of here and get through my class today. Then I’ll hole myself up in my dorm until this passes."

  At their looks of confusion, I sigh, annoyed by their lack of understanding. I figured after saying they had to mark me, they would just pounce and it would be over and done with in a second.

  "You do know what marking is right? I really don’t want to have to explain that.”

  Alex reaches a hand up to trail down my arm. I fight the shiver that runs through my body, but I know he can see the arousal in my eyes regardless. "We know what a marking is, but why would that help?"

  "A marking will help satisfy your wolves, making them think that they will claim me and will also mark me as theirs temporarily, which should put off most other wolves. It won't become permanent because I'm not reciprocating, however it should still be strong enough to do the trick, at least until I can lock myself away. If you had an Alpha here, he would be the ideal option because none of your pack would be able to overrule his mark, but you two should be enough." I hope, I add silently because the only other thing that would work would be to do something more permanent, which is just not an option for me.

  "Okay, we'll do it," Kaden says, his teeth gritted with restraint. I imagine it's taking everything in him to fight the urge to pounce on me right now.

  "How exactly are we supposed to do this?" Alex looks over at me questioningly. His fingers are still gently stroking my arm, and I doubt he’s even aware he’s doing it.

  "Seriously? Neither of you knows how to mark someone? Shouldn't that be one of the first things you learn as a wolf?"

  Kaden moves closer, his eyes focused intently on where Alex is touching me. "We aren’t exactly your typical pack. The majority of us ran away from our homes as children, leaving with only the knowledge of how to shift. Over the years, we started finding others like us. Then Colby stumbled upon us. He was our Alpha for three years until our new Alpha found us. He had come from his pack, which had disbanded. You could tell he needed us just as much as we needed him. And even though he’s been Alpha for six years now, he hasn’t exactly had time to teach us what we need to know. We're all just winging it," he admits, his voice devoid of emotion.

  What kind of Alpha doesn’t take the time to teach his people and neglects to tell them even the most basic of things?

  I move my hair to the side, showing them the mark that Seth left behind. It was done in his human form, since we both marked each other in the throes of passion. Which is how I learned the mark became permanent when it was reciprocated. Seth marked me in many other, more intimate places as well, but the mark on my neck was the only one that stayed, as did the one I left on his shoulder.

  "I'm going to tell you exactly how to temporarily mark me, but when your Alpha gets back, he and I are going to have some serious fucking words. Your lack of knowledge is ridiculous," I say, watching as they exchange worried glances.

  I continue, desperate to get this over with. "First, you’ll need your wolf close to the surface. You're going to rub against me, scenting me and leaving phantom bites. You know, when you graze your teeth along the skin without actually breaking the skin? It will take restraint, but I’m telling you now if you think this is the perfect chance to claim me, and then say ‘oops’ later, that I will make you suffer for it." I glare at them in warning. I did my best to explain the process, but the truth of the matter is, I have no idea if it will really work. Seth and Drew both used to scent mark me, at least until the claiming, because then it was like it didn’t matter anymore.

  "Well? Hurry up, guys, or I'll be late for class. Just pretend I'm one of the many girls you hook up with. Hell, you can even imagine I’m your crush if that suits you," I tell them with a little heat in my voice.

  The more they prolong this, the more awkward it becomes. Already, I can feel my panties growing wet and I know it won’t be long before my instincts override all rational thought and I end up on the bed with my ass in the air, inviting one of them to just take me.

  Alex is the first to move, his scent surrounding me as he brushes against my body, his amber eyes running over me appreciatively. He rumbles out a growl, his chest vibrating with the sound and I fight the urge to drop to the floor in a puddle of arousal. Fuck, my heat has never hit me this hard before.

  I work to hold myself still as he rubs against me, running his hands over me. I can feel the desire radiating off him and wonder if I made the right choice by having them marking me, instead of just trying to run away. But before I can move away, I feel Kaden press himself behind me.

  What the hell? I didn't even notice him move.

  Lips press against my right shoulder, opposite from the side Seth marked. I feel Kaden kissing his way down my shoulder and to my back. I try to control my lustful thoughts, but it’s impossible with him using his tongue as he makes his way to my hips. His teeth graze my hip and I find myself moaning quietly.

  Alex lifts my left hand and begins placing kisses along the inside of my wrist. He watches me closely with his amber eyes as my breath hitches. My pussy throbs with the need to be claimed, but I shove that feeling down. Then, as if they somehow synchronized the move, Alex bites down on my left wrist at the same time Kaden bites the soft flesh just above my hip. Not enough to break the skin, just enough to make the temporary claim.

  Kaden growls into the fleshy part of me, making my orgasm suddenly burst forth. I couldn't fight it any longer if I tried.

  And while I know in my head that this can and will be the only time these guys to
uch me, convincing my body of that is a whole other matter entirely.

  Alex and Kaden both back away from me as I stand here panting and trembling slightly. Shit, shit and motherfucking shit. How the hell did that feel so good? Seth's bite always hurt like hell, but Kaden and Alex? Holy fucking shit balls, that was intense!

  Rather than stay in the room and dissect everything that just happened, I decide to make a quick exit instead. I hurry to pull on my clothes for the day and then leave the room without a backward glance. Closing the door behind me, I press my back to it, taking in a few deep breaths to center myself. Shit, I forgot my motherfucking bag.

  I debate whether to leave without it so I don’t have to go back in there, but I’m not a coward. And if I did leave it behind, I would kick myself for days.

  So I plaster a forced smile on my face and throw open the door, surprised to see Kaden standing there, just inside the doorway. He's wearing a knowing smirk and is holding out my bag, which is looped around one finger.

  I quickly snatch it from him and turn away, stomping down the hall and taking the stairs quickly. When I reach the bottom of the stops, I hesitate, a thread of fear in my heart. What if the scent marking didn’t work? No, the two of them marked me with their scent and if that wasn’t enough, then nothing will be.

  I have just enough time to cook myself something to eat, then I’ll go to class, where I’ll hopefully be able put this all out of my mind.

  It sucks to have a class on Sunday, but it’s a necessity for me. I need this class for my degree.