Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  "It's kind of complicated, but long story short, being around you guys seems to have triggered my heat. And I had to choose the lesser of two evils. Have them mark me,” I wave my hand at the two of them, who are sitting there like the cat that ate the canary. Or would that be wolf that ate the sheep?

  “Otherwise I would run the risk that one of you would try to mate with me as I walked through the house."

  Colby is the only one of them who doesn't show a visible reaction, but I can see by the look in his eyes he understands the danger of what I said. The rest of the guys, however, seem like they’re taken aback by my words, offended even.

  Dwayne turns his gaze to meet mine, his green eyes filled with hurt. "Do you really think we're nothing more than wild animals with no ability to control our reactions?"

  I sigh heavily and lean forward, looking over to Kaden and Alex. Their Alpha has denied them this knowledge for some reason so I want to be sure it’s okay before I just spill the beans. I don’t want them getting into any trouble. "Can I explain?"

  Kaden nods, his eyes watching me hungrily. Alex, on the other hand, gets to his feet and moves closer, a possessive edge to his movements. He moves to stand behind me, and rests his hands protectively on my shoulders. At the sight, the tension leaves Kaden’s shoulders, like now that his friend is near me, it’s all okay, which makes my next request a lot easier.

  Everyone's gaze is fixed on me as I turn to Kyle. "Smell my hair, Kyle."

  He bursts out laughing, looking at me like I've gone completely nuts.

  Alex encourages him. "Do it, Kyle. You won't understand until you do."

  Kyle sighs, but then hesitantly leans closer, burying his nose in my hair. Just as I expected, he immediately reacts to my scent. His hand comes up to grip my hair tightly and he runs his nose along my neck, moaning as he does so.

  Alex moves, ready to snatch me away from Kyle, but Kyle’s grip on my hair is firm and Alex just ends up making Kyle yank on my hair.

  "Fuck!" I cry out from the pain. "Alex, calm the fuck down and go stand by the wall. Kyle, let go of me, now!"

  They both immediately do as I demand, the Alpha command too much for either of them to resist. Kyle pants heavily, staring at me with dilated eyes, the amber of his wolf still showing.

  "What the hell was that? It felt like if I didn't have you right then, I was going to go mad!"

  I nod sadly. "I know and I'm sorry for that, but it was important for you all to learn. When a female goes into heat, it’s hard for you guys to ignore, but at least with humans it’s easier to brush aside. When it's a wolf, though, someone you could have a viable baby with, the primal instinct becomes so strong it can make even the most controlled wolves go savage."

  I look around at the wolves gathered around the table, noting their looks of eagerness, worry, fear and curiosity.

  "I made Kaden and Alex mark me because they are the two strongest pack members without mates, at least until your Alpha returns. I may need to make them do it again if your Alpha doesn't return before my next cycle, but hopefully he’ll be back before then," I explain, choosing not to tell them about my biggest fear.

  Marking is only a temporary solution and if my cycle can be triggered because of the exposure to the wolves, what's to say it won't happen again? Hell, I had a moment there where I wanted them just as much as I knew they did me. Again something I haven't quite experienced since Seth and Drew were in my life. And the worst thing is that my body doesn’t even seem to care who it is that claims me. Alex, Kaden, Colby, Kyle and Dwayne, I feel drawn to all of them.

  I'm finding that being around these wolves is opening my eyes to many things I haven't seen or felt before. I really hope when their Alpha gets back that he has some answers he can give me as to why I feel this way towards practical strangers, one of them being a wolf who already has a mate.

  After everyone calmed down after my little explanation, the rest of them finished eating and Colby volunteered to walk me to class. I accepted, because of all the wolves there, he was the only one with a mate, so I knew he wasn’t interested. The others, though? Even after being scent marked, they still seem interested in me. So to be safe, I may have to steer clear of them for the next few days.

  "So, Colby, what are you doing after you drop me off?" I ask as we make the walk to the morgue. He's dressed similarly to me in simple jeans and a button up shirt.

  He grins and turns his gaze to me. "I have class too. I'm in human anatomy with you, as well as biochemistry."

  "No shit?" I ask in surprise. Not only had I not noticed him before, but he just didn’t strike me as the type of person who would be interested in becoming a doctor. Then again, I guess they say that's why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Because you really can’t know someone just by what’s on the surface.

  "That's awesome, Colby. You aiming to be a doctor, nurse, or just in it for the knowledge?” I ask, making conversation as we approach the campus morgue where our class is being held.

  We gather outside the door, waiting for our professor to open the classroom. All of a sudden, I see Colby stiffen, his gaze fixed on someone behind me. That’s when I remember that his mate is also in this class.

  I look over and sure enough, there’s Emily, and she’s flirting with a guy, occasional shooting subtle glances Colby’s way. She's flirting with another guy when she already has a mate, seriously?!

  I place my hand on Colby's chest, holding him back. "Right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to go over there and you're going to apologize to her for your behavior last night. Just a simple apology will do. Then once you’re done, you're going to walk back here and throw an arm around my shoulder like we're all chummy? Got it?"

  He frowns down at me, looking conflicted. "But then she's going to think I'm interested in you more than I am her."

  I roll my eyes at his complete lack of understanding.

  "Have you never met a woman before? We're naturally catty, but when our man is involved, that’s when things really ramp up. It forces us to realize we need to step up or let go. If she’s really your mate, she should get crazy jealous and try to push me away. Then she will try to push me out of your life completely so she can have you for herself.

  “Once you're officially mated, her jealousy should settle down, but if this works, we're going to have to be distant for a while so she doesn't get the wrong idea," I explain before giving him a little nudge towards his mate.

  He looks down at me, a frown on his face. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to stay away from you. I offered you my protection and I meant it.”

  “You can protect me from afar, okay? Now let’s get this done before class starts.”

  Colby sighs, but follows after me. We walk side by side and as we approach, Colby’s mate looks at me, curiosity in her eyes. Then her lips curl in disgust when I reach out and give Colby's hand a reassuring squeeze.

  He returns the gesture, keeping hold of my hand as we stand before her. I smile politely, but that only makes Emily’s scowl deepen. The guy who was standing with her seems to fade into the background, disappearing from sight as if terrified of Colby's massive size.

  Colby remains silent at my side, so I thrust my hand out towards Emily, trying to move this along. "Hi! I'm Katie. I just wanted to bring Colby over to apologize for what happened last night."

  I elbow him in the side and he clears his throat, looking down at her with a remorseful expression. "Sorry, I completely overreacted last night. You were right. We need time to get to know each other, and I know I may have got it all wrong to begin with if you don't feel the same way I do. Either way, I just wanted the chance to apologize."

  I resist the urge to grin and see the wheels beginning to turn in his mate’s eyes. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you around?" he says before turning to leave, taking me with him. I know I really shouldn't, but I can’t help myself. Looking back, I blow her a kiss, grinning at the look of rage in her eyes. Yep, definitely his mate.

>   After class, I give Colby a subtle wave goodbye when I see him leaving with his mate. She had done exactly as I predicted.

  Today’s class was focused on the various organs, and which could be donated after death. When our professor told us to get into groups of twos or threes to dissect the corpse on the slabs, Emily came straight to the table Colby and I were working at, asking if she could join us. Colby hesitated, but I told her we would love for her to join us, thinking it would give them more of a chance to bond. His mate seemed to warm up about halfway through the class, well at least to Colby. She ignored me completely, which was fine by me.

  There seemed to be quite the chemistry between Emily and Colby, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off with her. She had this look in her eyes, not quite possessiveness, which is what I would expect from a mate, but more like triumph. I noticed it especially at one point when Colby remained focused on her instead of answering one of my questions.

  If I believed in witches, I would wonder if she put him under some kind of spell. He just seemed to be off when in her presence, again not acting like a mate would, but more like a lovesick puppy. If she were his true mate that would be understandable, but Colby hasn’t said as much so I don’t think that’s the case.

  I tamp down my worries, sure that since Emily is Colby’s mate, I must just be reading her wrong or thinking irrationally. Maybe it’s just a side effect of my heat?

  Now, as I’m walking back to my dorm, I can't help but dread my arrival. I've had enough of Frannie’s shit. As I get closer, I start thinking of what I’m going to say to her. How this shit seriously needs to stop.

  As I arrive at my dorm building, I spot Alex and Kaden standing by the park bench where Kaden found me in the early hours of the morning. Alex is holding a paper bag and from it, I can scent sugar and something else, something really unappealing.

  "Hey guys." I smile as I walk past. To my surprise, both of them follow me.

  "Uh, what are you doing?" I ask, pausing at the stairwell door.

  They glance to each other and then hold out the bags they brought with them. "We, uh, made you something to say thank you."

  I frown as I look between them, sighing heavily. "Okay, come on. We can go up to my room. Frannie is probably still out. Either that, or she's fast asleep, who really knows?" I gesture for them to follow as I turn and begin making my way up the stairs. When I open the door onto the second floor, it gives a grating screech, but I just ignore it. My ears are getting used to it now.

  The guys remain silent the entire way to my dorm room. When we reach my door, Alex finally speaks up. “Why didn’t you take the elevator up?”

  I ignore his question for the moment and reach out to wiggle the door handle, irritated to find it unlocked. "Oh, because that's the smartest thing to do in a dorm filled with girls who probably want to kill you for sleeping with their men. Ugh, I swear, she is dumber than a tack," I mutter as I push open the door.

  "And to answer your question, Alex, I don't take the elevator unless I absolutely have to. I don't like putting myself in a metal box I can’t escape from. Plus, if the elevator were to stop unexpectedly or malfunction, I would be stuck at the mercy of whoever came to rescue me. At least I know the stairs will never break down.”

  I step into the small room, thankful to find it empty. The guys follow after me and look around at my undecorated space. I watch as Alex sets the bag he was carrying down on my little study nook and can't help my curiosity.

  "So what is this thank you for?" I ask as I dig into the bag, pulling out the most grotesquely shaped cookies I've ever seen in all my life.

  I look up at Alex and Kaden with a raised brow, unsure if I should eat one or if they're trying to poison me.

  Kaden shrugs his shoulder, looking down at floor. "We wanted to thank you for everything you did this morning with breakfast. Plus, you told all of us a bunch of stuff we had no clue about before. So, yeah, thank you."

  I take a small bite of the first cookie and have to fight not to gag. I quickly set it down and look back up at the guys, wishing I had some bleach to wash out my mouth. Yes, bleach. It’s that bad.

  "Did you make these?"

  Alex flushes. "Well we tried to. The others helped, though," he adds quickly.

  I hold the cookie out to him. "Did you taste them first?"

  He shakes his head and takes the outstretched cookie, popping the whole thing in his mouth. He chews it slowly and after a moment, his face goes green. Reaching down, he grabs the trash can from under my desk and spits the cookie out, gagging as he does so.

  I bite my lip, trying not to laugh. Kaden looks at the cookies, then from me to Alex. Finally he picks one up, taking a hesitant bite.

  I can't contain my laughter when he clutches a hand over his mouth. Then he grabs the small paper bag filled with cookies and throws up into it.

  I continue laughing as Alex and Kaden move to clean themselves up in my tiny bathroom. They each take turns, pouring a full quarter of the tube of toothpaste in their mouths.

  While they’re busy tidying themselves up and removing the taste of cookie from their mouths, I move about the room, cleaning up after them. I throw the discarded paper bag into the trash can, then tie off the plastic garbage bag and quickly leave the room with it. After throwing it in the trash, I come back to my room, fully expecting the guys to be done. But they are still in my small bathroom, fighting over my toothpaste and squirting more in their mouths. I guess the first run through wasn’t enough. That alone sets me off into another bout of giggles.

  By the time they’re finished, my laughter has subsided to hiccups and I’ve moved to the floor where I’m sitting cross-legged. I watch as they collapse across from me.

  "I appreciate the effort, truly I do," I say, holding back a chuckle. "But please, do not ever make me cookies again."

  "I don't think either of us will ever be baking again, that's for sure," Alex admits, looking over at the bin I cleaned while they were tidying themselves up. I took their bags down to the trash chute because there was no way I was leaving vomit in my room for an extended amount of time. No thank you.

  Kaden lays down on his stomach, propping his head in his hands. Thankfully, he’s already starting to look better than he did moments before.

  "I have a question about the pack, if the two of you don't mind me asking?"

  They both look at me with serious expressions on their faces. Alex leans forward, his gaze fixed on mine. "You can ask us whatever, Katie. Although I’m pretty sure you know more than us at this point," he says with a wry smile.

  "That's what I want to know, though. What kind of Alpha just leaves his pack in the dark about everything? And why isn't he here? If I hadn't been there with Colby last night, things would have escalated to the point he would have shifted. An Alpha should be here for those kind of situations. No offense, Kaden. I know you’re doing your best."

  "None taken," he says with a smirk. "To be honest, I would have preferred to have Alex deal with Colby, but he had to keep an eye on the last of the party cleanup and make sure the rest of the pack made it back to the house.

  “As for our Alpha.” Kaden sighs and runs a hand through his hair while Alex picks at his pants, unwilling to meet my gaze. "Our Alpha is pretty messed up. He lost someone in his life not long ago and he spiraled downward from there. Before then, he was the best Alpha you could have despite having lost his parents at such an early age. But yeah, shit happened and now he leaves us for months at a time.

  “He says he’s visiting other packs, learning how to be the best Alpha he can, but he is never here for his own pack. Instead, he just passes along small bits of information to us. He comes back occasionally, and to his credit, he helps out as much as he can while he’s here. Unfortunately, he can never stay here long enough to make a real difference. He tries, but his sanity just starts to go haywire.”

  "Oh..." I start thinking about what could have happened to make an Alpha lose that much
control and can come up with only one thing. He must have lost his mate. He’s probably on the brink of insanity. Poor man.

  "Is he looking for another Alpha to replace him? Or is one of you going to lead when he eventually snaps?"

  Alex shakes his head sadly. "We've suggested moving the pack closer to Colby’s mother’s or just joining them outright, but most of us are still in college. There's only three of us who aren't and they already moved to another town and petitioned the local pack for asylum. Andy, our Alpha, doesn't know yet. I suspect that when he comes back and finds them gone, we may need to come find you so you can use your magic wolf soothing powers on him. Otherwise, I may end up nothing more than a rag doll by the time he’s done with me. He’s definitely not going to be thrilled I gave the pack members permission to leave without consulting him first."

  I frown at the wave of fear I feel coursing through him. An Alpha should inspire respect in his pack members, not fear.

  The door suddenly opens and Frannie walks in, a new guy trailing after her. She can't even stick with the same guy for a full twenty-four hours? It’s girls like her that give the rest of us a bad rap.

  She looks up and freezes in her tracks, a laugh dying in her throat. As she looks between Alex and Kaden, I can see the lust in her eyes. "Uh, Jameson, maybe you should leave. We'll do this another day," she says, her voice breathy as she pushes the protesting guy back towards the doorway.

  I roll my eyes at Alex and Kaden, who both look to me with wide-eyed stares.

  'What do we do?' Kaden mouths, looking like a fish out of water.

  I shrug, turning to watch as Frannie shoos her date out of the room. Then she steps back inside and closes the door behind her. She walks over to her dresser and, without seeming to care that we’re all in the room, strips down to just her underwear. After undoing her bra, she flings it across the room, where it lands on Kaden. He pales, flicking it off him like he’s afraid it’s going to bite.

  "Right, well I think it’s time for you guys to go because I have to study for classes tomorrow."