Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  I glance over at Emily, wondering what she thinks of Colby’s protective behavior. But to my surprise, she isn’t even paying attention, instead tapping away on her phone, most likely texting someone.

  Colby, still focused on me, brushes a stray strand of hair away from my sweaty face. "You know you have to tell them, right? You can't keep this to yourself.”

  “Shouldn’t they be able to just scent it on me? Why do I have to tell them?” I know I sound whiny, but I just never thought I would be in this situation.

  “Your scent hasn’t changed too much, so if they see you they probably won’t know any better. Hell, even I didn’t realize you were pregnant during the past few days. But regardless, they need to know so they can protect you. Plus, someone’s going to have to tell our Alpha sooner or later."

  I close my eyes and sigh, resting my head against his chest. "I know. I just can't do it right now. Can we just keep it between us until after my birthday at least? That’s when I’ll gain access to my trust fund. I’ll finally be able to move away from my roommate, maybe find a place that is okay to raise a baby and still take my classes. I can’t just give up everything because I’m pregnant, and I’m worried if I tell them, Kaden and Alex might use it as an excuse to force me to give up my life and make me become some locked away housewife. I wouldn’t put it past them.” I speak my worst fears and let a deep breath out. “It doesn’t help that I’m still pissed at them for claiming me without asking. I don’t really want to confront them and say, ‘Hey I’m knocked up but it doesn’t really matter, because I’m still planning to kill you.’ I don’t think that's the best way to approach such a delicate subject.”

  I feel Colby stiffen beneath my head and pull back. When I look up at him, I see his blue eyes blazing bright with fury. "They... claimed you without permission?! I'm going to fucking kill them."

  He gets to his feet and I almost drop to the floor, but he catches me at the last moment. "Sorry, Katie, but I need to go take care of those fuckers. They know the rules better than most of us and when our Alpha finds out what they’ve done, he's going to rip them apart," he growls out, his body vibrating with anger.

  "Colby, you listen to me! Yes, they may have claimed me without permission, but deep down... I wanted them to. I feel something with them, I do. I just need time to process all of this. The night my mate died, we were arguing about my reluctance to have his child. And now this has happened, even though I'm on the pill.

  “I already felt like I was betraying Seth by wanting Kaden and Alex.” And you, I silently add. “But now it’s so much fucking worse. It kills me to know that I’m giving them something that I couldn’t to a mate I loved with my whole heart."

  Silent tears begin to fall down my face at my admission. This is why I wanted to steer clear of those two guys in the first place. Partly because I still have another mate I’ve been ignoring, and also because I didn't want to dishonor Seth's memory by falling into the arms of the first wolf I met after him.

  But that's exactly what I did. I let myself get absorbed in the two of them, and now look what that has brought me. A baby.

  "Just give me until Halloween, please. Let me get past the anniversary of my mate’s and parents’ deaths. After that, I promise I'll sit down with them and tell them the truth. Okay?"

  "Shit, okay. But until then, you need to let me or Dwayne stick close. Just because your baby is practically invincible in there, doesn't mean you are and I don’t want you overdoing it. We should also get you an appointment with my mother. She runs a clinic a few towns over that deals with supernatural pregnancies. I'm sure she would be happy to schedule you an appointment and get you the prenatal vitamins she prescribes to most of her shifter patients."

  I let out a sigh of relief. "That would actually be really helpful. I know the basics, but I didn't even think that human and wolf prenatal vitamins might be different. Do you know how much she charges and how long it might take before she could get me in? I'll get my aunt to send over my allowance earlier if I can manage to meet up with her sometime in the next week."

  Colby shakes his head, smiling softly. "You are family. Whether you realize it or not, and despite your relationship with Kaden and Alex, I still consider you mine to protect. That alone is enough to make my mother waive any and all fees. And as for when you can see her, I could drive you up on Saturday if you're free? I don't have any classes so I'm free the whole day. Only if you want to, that is, and if you don’t have class. It doesn't have to be so soon," he adds quickly, looking nervous.

  I can't help but want to hug him for his thoughtfulness. He knows how important my classes are to me, but it just happens I have a free day on Saturday.

  “Saturday is perfect." Then I turn to Emily with a smile, which immediately falls at the look on her face. She smoothes the expression, though, before Colby notices and I force myself to pretend I didn’t see the hate there. I had to be wrong, right?

  "What about you Emily?” I ask, trying to ease the tension. “Do you want to come along? It would be nice to have another girl with me at the appointment. Besides, you’ll have to meet Colby's mother sooner or later anyway." I try for a teasing tone, but her expression stays wary. I have to wonder if she was upset about the way Colby held me or how he said I was his to protect. Surely she knows he only meant that in a platonic friend way. He and I are just friends after all, and she’s his mate.

  "I can't. I have three make up classes on Saturday that I can’t miss. Sorry," she says sadly and my shoulders drop. That means Colby probably can’t come with me either. After all, she won't want me going anywhere alone with her mate; no woman in their right mind would.

  "But you two should still go," she insists. At my look of doubt, she grins. "Seriously, it's probably for the best. The sooner you get checked out, the better you'll feel about everything. Besides, it's not like I have anything to be jealous of since you’re already mated to two others and are carrying their child. So I'm pretty secure in the knowledge you won't use the trip to try and steal Colby away from me," she says with a slight laugh, but I can still feel the undercurrent of jealousy.

  I have to admit, though, that’s she's right. I don’t poach on other people’s partners, especially not when said partner is their mate. And as much as I like Colby, I know he’s completely off limits. Sure we’re pretty much best friends at this point, but I know it could never be anything more than that.

  "Okay, as long as you're sure you don’t mind? I really would like to get a check up, just to be sure everything's alright and to see whether I have to do anything differently than I would if it were a human pregnancy," I explain, hoping to soothe whatever issues she’s having right now. Honestly her back and forth behavior is making me even more wary of her than I already was. But I can’t focus on her issues right now; I have my own problems to deal with.

  I’m really hoping Colby's mother knows of another Alpha out there who could help me with the delivery. Who knows when Colby's Alpha will show up, and as for Drew? Well, I would like to avoid having him there if I can, because I just know he's going to be a judgemental prick. Or worse, pissed off that someone got to me before he could. But if Colby’s Alpha can’t be present for the birth, then I know I have no other choice.

  When Emily doesn’t say anything more, Colby gets to his feet with a grin. "Great, that's settled then. I'll take you to see my mother on Saturday. Now, Katie, I’m going to take you back to your dorm. I’ll be back later, Emily.”

  "I can get there by myself, Colby. I'm not a fucking invalid."

  "While that may be true, remember that you are to be under the constant care of either Dwayne or myself until your mates are made aware of the situation they got themselves into. Just think of us as your surrogate mates until they take over." He smirks, taking my hand in his.

  "Here, take this," Emily says, coming over and holding out the can of ginger ale I left in the bathroom. "I know this isn't easy, Katie, but we will be here for you every step of the way."

/>   "Thank you, Emily. For everything. You're a good friend," I tell her. Then I make my way to her door and let myself out, giving Colby and Emily a few minutes alone.

  As soon as the door is closed, I frown. Even though her words were kind, the expression in her eyes was anything but. I know it could just be the mate side of things playing with her feelings and making her more jealous and insecure, but a niggling feeling in my stomach tells me I need to be careful around her.

  When they're finished talking, Colby comes out of the room wearing a frown. He closes the door behind him and then runs a hand through his hair in obvious frustration. Without another word, he takes my hand. While I can sense something is wrong, I just don’t know whether or not to ask about it. So instead, we walk down the stairs together in silence, but not an uncomfortable one. No, I feel safe with Colby, like he's pack, which I guess he is. That thought is what finally makes me cave.

  “Colby? Do you want to talk about whatever it is that’s upsetting you? I can be a good listener and I won’t tell another soul, I promise.”

  We step out onto the quad, heading for my dorm building. He’s silent for a full minute, but then pulls me to a stop and forces me to look at him. “Emily is mad because I told her I found my true mate.”

  My mouth opens and closes, unsure how to respond. Normally, I would be happy for him and congratulate him for finding his true mate, but something tells me that this isn’t good news. At least not as far as Emily is concerned. “Okay, so she’s probably angry because she thinks you will just up and leave her for your true mate. Have you sat down with the both of them and just explained the situation? Maybe if you did, it would be easier on all of you.”

  He turns his head, unable to meet my gaze for a moment. Then, when he finally does look back at me, his eyes are filled with such pain it makes my heart. “My true mate doesn’t know and Emily is saying I shouldn’t tell her. She thinks that we can be happy together, and that I don’t need my true mate, but my heart hurts, Katie. It feels like if I don’t tell her, I’ll be making the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “Colby, you know how things turned out with my true mate, right?” He shakes his head no and I sigh, deciding to give him a little insight into my life.

  We arrive at my dorm building and as we walk up the stairs, I think through my words carefully. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, I speak up. “I loved my true mate. But when he forced me to choose between him and his brother who was just a regular mate, it wasn’t him I ended up choosing.

  “I’m telling you this for two reasons. The first one being that I think you deserve the chance to get to know your true mate, even just as friends first. Then if you realize that you want more, you can talk to Emily about it again.

  “And as for the second reason, just because this girl is your true mate doesn’t mean the two of you will live happily ever after. It probably doesn’t help much, but I have to believe that when life throws these obstacles, it's because we need to overcome them.

  “Look at me,” I laugh humorlessly. “My parents are dead, as is the mate I chose. The mate who was supposedly destined for me is nowhere to be seen. And now I have two more mates, am claimed by both of them, and pregnant by one of them. I have to believe the world isn’t so cruel as to thrust all of this on me without some kind of reason. Call it fate, destiny, whatever, but I just have to believe there is a reason for all of this.”

  We walk up the remaining steps in silence as Colby digests my words. But by the time we open the stairwell door, he has a new spring in his step and his eyes no longer hold defeat, but hope. He seems to have taken my words to heart, which I’m glad for.

  As we approach to my dorm room, a heavy feeling settles in my stomach. I freeze at the door, hesitant to enter my room.

  Something just feels off.

  "Colby, my instincts are screaming at me not to open the door right now. Can you go inside and take a look, please?" I beg when he looks at me with a questioning glance.

  Rather than immediately opening the door, though, he sniffs the air around the door. I'm grateful for the fact there aren't other people out in the hall right now. If there were, I’m sure they’d be looking at him like he’s completely lost it. That being said, I feel pretty stupid for not thinking of doing that in the first place.

  Colby's whole body stiffens, and a growl rumbles in his chest. "He's a dead man!" Before I have a chance to stop him or ask what he means, he shoves my door open. The sight that greets me cuts me to the core.

  Sitting on my bed is Kaden, and in his lap is Frannie, with her hands twined behind his neck as she kisses him. While Kaden doesn't look to be returning Frannie's passionate embrace, he's not pushing her to the floor either.

  Bile rises up my throat and I have to slap a hand over my mouth to stop myself from being sick.

  "Kaden!" Colby practically roars into the room.

  At the sound of Colby’s sharp voice, Frannie abruptly ends the kiss and climbs off Kaden's lap. Then she walks to the door, pushing past me with a sly grin. Before stepping through the doorway, she turns back to call out, "Thanks for dropping by, Kaden. Feel free to come by anytime."

  She wiggles her fingers and gives a small giggle before leaving the room. What the fuck?! Where is she going? I'm going to rip her head from her body, right after I'm done with Kaden!

  Kaden notices my glare and quickly stands up. My gaze roams over him and I feel a small bit of relief when I see that he at least doesn’t appear to be happy to have had Frannie rubbing up on him. Still, the image alone is enough to make me nauseous again, and this time I can’t hold it back.

  I rush to the bathroom and drop down to the floor in front of the toilet, gagging loudly. My body is telling me to empty the contents of my stomach, but the only thing I've had since the last incident is that can of ginger ale, which burns on its way up.

  When I’m finished throwing up, I get to my feet, feeling shaky. That’s when I notice the whispered angry voices of Kaden and Colby. I move to stand in the doorway so I can see, and neither of them seems to notice.

  "What the fuck were you thinking, Kaden?” Colby is fuming. “She's your mate, officially now you've fucking marked her, against her will I might add, yet here you are in her dorm room, making out with her roommate, who she hates by the way. In her own fucking bed even! Are you fucking suicidal?!"

  Kaden runs a hair through his hair in frustration. "It wasn't like that. I dropped by to talk to Katie, but she wasn't here. Her roommate told me I could wait, so I sat down on her bed to do just that. Her roommate stayed by the window, until she got a text and then all of a sudden, she just pounced on me. She climbed into my lap and started grinding on me. Then she slammed her lips on mine. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't just push her off. I was worried about hurting her since she’s human."

  "Oh, so it was okay to hurt me, the woman you marked as your mate, but not the little bitty human who means nothing to you?" I ask, stepping into the room and making my presence known.

  Colby looks over at me with a pitying look, but I ignore it. I don't want his pity. I want Kaden to see how much he hurt me.

  "Katie… I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry and it won't happen again. I promise," Kaden pleads, before looking me over. He frowns deeply, as if just now noticing I’m not looking or feeling my best. "What happened? Are you okay?"

  I laugh harshly. "Oh, now you care how I'm doing? Well, fuck you, Kaden." I take a deep breath, trying to rein in my anger. I can’t let my anger control this situation because it’s not just me I need to think about now. Fuck!

  I was willing to give him a chance, to be his mate and try to raise this baby with him and Alex involved every single fucking step of the way. But how can I trust him after this?

  "I want you to get the fuck out of my room, and for you to stay the fuck away from me."

  I turn around and start ripping the sheets off my bed, the thought of the two of them on my blankets making me feel sick again.

  A
s I’m doing that, Kaden just stands beside the bed, looking as if he’s trying to think of something to make things better, but right now there isn't anything. Who knows? I could still find it in me to forgive him, since I had already let my anger over the claiming issue drop. But I need to sort through everything first so I can make a rational decision, not one based off emotions or instincts.

  That being said, both he and Alex will have a permanent place in my life in the coming years, regardless of what I want. This baby has made sure of that.

  I hear Kaden make his way slowly to the door, but I refuse to give him the benefit of my gaze. He's invisible to me right now. I don't want to see him because I can't get the image of Frannie on his lap out of my mind. I just... don't have it in me to deal with this shit right now. I have more important things I need to think of. My child, for example.

  "Katie, if it makes you feel any better, I really do think it was just your roommate making things look worse than they were."

  I shrug my shoulders as I replace my sheets with fresh ones. "Doesn't matter, Colby. If you walked in on Emily in a position like that with someone, would you be able to just accept the fact she didn't push the guy away?" Colby's silence is all the answer I need. "Exactly. Now, speaking of, you should go back to your mate while I get myself ready for a nap. I don't think I can go to any of my classes today. I'm freaking exhausted."

  He looks at me, his eyes filled with concern. He seems to be debating whether or not it’s okay to leave me alone. Then, seeming to reach a decision, he moves over to where I dropped my purse when I bolted to the toilet. He picks it up, pulls out my phone and starts tapping away.

  "Alright, you stay here, though. If you need to leave the room, or anything for that matter, call me, Dwayne, Kyle or Bas. I’ve inputted all our numbers to make things easier. But if you can’t get ahold of one of us, please call Kaden or Alex. For your safety and the baby’s. Please, just don't try to be strong and do this by yourself when we’re all here to help."