Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  I smile at the sound of Sebastian’s voice up ahead. “Is it true human women only bathe once a week?” I roll my eyes when he throws a wink back at me.

  Emily makes an indignant sound, making me think Bas knew just what to say to get her to start ranting. She does exactly that, waving her arms around as she tells them that most women shower once, sometime twice a day. Kyle’s response is priceless, asking if human women smell bad, and if that’s why they need to shower twice.

  I chuckle quietly at that. Those three are a pretty awesome team, I must admit.

  I move closer to Colby, brushing my hand against his, but not actually reaching out to grab it. I don’t want to make things worse on the off-chance Emily were to turn back and see me holding his hand, even if it was only platonic.

  "So I take it things aren't going very well between you two?" I casually ask as we walk side by side, our hands brushing against each other softly, as if we’re unable to keep from touching. It’s a very wolf thing to crave comfort and I’ve found myself seeking out that comfort more in the past week. Having three wolf guards today has helped with that a lot. And even though the situation with Sebastian is new and exciting, it still feels comforting to have Colby to talk to. He’s my best friend after all.

  We continue walking in silence for a minute before Colby surprises me by twining our fingers together. He sighs sadly and gives my hand a small squeeze before letting go, but I can tell it pains him to do so. It sucks that he is being denied this small comfort, but I won’t push him about it. It’s up to him to decide what he wants from his relationship, not me.

  Colby keeps his gaze on the ground as we walk, kicking a rock in front of him. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say. No matter what, Emily seems to find some reason to be angry with me, despite the fact that I’ve told her my true mate doesn’t know what she is to me. She doesn’t believe me, though. She demanded that I tell her who it is, but I have a feeling if I do, things will only get worse. Either that, or Emily will just try to confront her, which won’t exactly work because I really haven’t told her about being my true mate, and I don’t think I ever will at this rate.

  “If Emily is so against her, then it doesn't seem fair to tell my true mate when nothing will ever be able to come of it. I just wish there was some kind of way to explain to Emily that just because I have a true mate doesn't mean that she and I aren’t meant to be together.” He grips his hair in frustration, pulling it tight, looking on the verge of painful.

  I place a hand on his arm, stopping him from walking further. I glance at Emily to make sure she’s not paying attention to us before pulling Colby into a hug. He melts against me, breathing in deeply as I hold him close. His pain coats him, and it breaks my heart to see him so dejected. "I know this is hard, but it will all work out eventually. I promise," I reassure him, even though I have no way of knowing if it's the truth. All I know is that I will do anything to help him should he ever need it. Maybe if I start being nicer to her, and invite her to do more things with others in the pack, she will get a chance to see just how important a mate can be. Who knows?

  But if she keeps doing this to Colby, he's going to resent her for it, possibly even hate her. Then where would she be? Mated to someone who wants nothing more than to be free of her? I just hope they can find common ground before it gets to that point.

  We break away, somewhat reluctantly, and Colby smiles warmly at me. "Come on, let's catch up to the others before Emily thinks you're hitting on me."

  "She really thinks I would do that? You're her mate. There are some lines even I won't cross, thank you very much."

  "Katie, please don't be upset. She knows you are mated to Kaden and Alex. But then when she saw you on Bas' lap, she thought you were just making your way through the pack."

  I stay silent as we get closer to the rest of the group, not sure how I feel about her assessment of the situation. Yes, Sebastian came as a surprise, even to me, but I hate the fact that she thinks that way about me.

  If she were a wolf, she wouldn’t see it as a problem. And that's just what I've begun to do. Accept I am not human and normal relationship rules don't apply to me. I was on my way to accepting that fact when I was with Drew and Seth, but now with this whole pack around, I realize I don’t want to play human, not when I’m anything but.

  "Do you feel that way? That I'm sleeping my way through the pack?" I ask, my voice a mere whisper.

  Sebastian's hand curl into fists and he glances back at us with a glare aimed at Colby, before forcing a smile on his face and turning his attention back to Emily.

  I return my focus to Colby, waiting for an answer. Finally after an agonizing minute of anxiety-filled silence, he answers. "I don't think you’re sleeping your way through the pack. And even if you were, I'd probably encourage it. I don't know if you know this, but I'm not the same age as the rest of our pack members. I look young enough to pass as a college age student, but I am much, much older. I grew up watching women in packs being shared, as have many others in our pack. The difference being I know it has nothing to do with favoritism. It simply comes down to survival instincts. The women chose to be with multiple men, because choosing just one would cause jealousy and fighting among the pack.

  “Still, I would never believe you were just making your way through our pack. Your heart is so big, I don’t think you were ever meant for just one person. And if being with a few of us makes you happy, then who am I to judge? Although I will kick their asses if anyone even thinks of hurting you."

  I brush my hand against his, and then slowly resume walking. “Thanks, Colbs. That means a lot. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but I really do care what you and the rest of the pack thinks of me.”

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about that with us. And if anyone ever makes you feel less than worthy because of your relationships, you just text me their name and I will make sure they are reminded of who is on your side. Just because I don’t have the same powers as some Alphas, doesn’t mean most of the pack aren’t intimidated by my age and knowledge.”

  I frown, the mention of his age again making my curiosity peak. What, is he in his late thirties or something?

  "Just how old are you?"

  Colby grins at me, his cerulean blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "I turned seventy-six a little over two months ago."

  I stop in my tracks, my mouth dropping open in shock. He too stops as I just stare up at him with my eyes wide. My mouth works, but no words come out.

  He doesn't say anything, giving me time to process his words. Seventy-six? How the hell does still he look to be my age if he’s seventy-six?!

  After a few moments of silence, I find the ability to speak again. “Seventy-six... You're really seventy-six years old? How the hell can you be seventy-six but look no older than twenty-one? Do you have some kind of special aging cream or something?”

  Colby rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Yes, I bathe in the blood of virgins to keep myself looking this good, Katie.”

  I narrow my eyes at his sarcastic tone.

  “It’s just genetics, Katie. Wolves can live for thousands of years and once we hit twenty one, our bodies will only age a year for every fifty years that pass. I’m seventy-six and will look like a twenty-two year old for the next fifty years.” Then he shoves his hands in his pockets, watching me warily as he waits for me to respond.

  "Do you think I will live as long as you?"

  He chuckles, seeming relieved by my easy response, and we start walking again. Up ahead, the red neon sign of the steak house is now within eyesight. Finally, I could smell the steaks cooking from down the road and it was making me hungry.

  I turn my attention back to Colby. He shrugs his shoulders before answering. “To be honest, there’s no real way of knowing since you don’t shift like most wolves. But you have a lot of wolf abilities and the genetic makeup of one, so it would make sense that you would inherit the expanded life span too.”

  "That would be
wicked." I smile dreamily, thinking about living forever. Imagine what I might see in the future? The technological advancements. The reveal of wolves to humans. Watching my children grow up and have children of their own. The possibilities are endless.

  Colby coughs, pulling me from my fantasy of living forever. He looks at me with a warm smile on his face. "How is the... bean... doing?"

  I frown at him, wondering what the hell he's going on about. Then his gaze drops to my stomach where my hand is unconsciously resting. Oh, bean! At least he didn't blurt out ‘baby’ so the other three could hear.

  A big grin appears on my face, feeling happy at the change of subject. “Yeah, it’s all fine. No real issues, but the stuff you gave me has really helped. I never did thank you for having Dwayne bring that over.” He waves his hand to say it was nothing, but I don’t let it slide. “Seriously, Colby, that was a very sweet thing of you to do. Thank you." I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he has a chance to react and then continue walking.

  He flushes and rubs a hand against the back of his neck. "I wanted to help, so I called my mom to ask her what might do the trick. She told me that those were the most common things that would help until your body started figuring out what it needs. After our appointment with her on Saturday, she will advise you if there’s anything else, depending on how it goes, I mean."

  I smile and open my mouth to reply, but a voice up ahead has me snapping it shut again.

  "What are you two talking about?!" Emily snaps, turning to glare at us.

  I plaster a fake smile on my face. "Nothing much. I was just telling Colby that I can't wait to get my hands on a steak and some pickles."

  Understanding dawns in her eyes as her gaze flicks to my stomach. Then she gives a brief nod, her anger seeming to disappear.

  I speed up to join them before she has time to notice how close Colby and I were standing. Heading straight to Sebastian, I grip his hand in mine, hoping the action will help ease her worries about Colby and me. Not that she should be worried. He's my friend. That's the extent of it. She can refuse to believe that if she wants, but just because she reads too much into things, doesn't mean I'm sleeping with him on the side.

  I honestly don't know how to feel about Emily and her behavior anymore. Just because Colby has a true mate out there doesn't mean she should be treating him like this. I mean, I can understand a little, seeing as she's human and they tend to have strictly monogamous relationships, but she knows what happened between Kaden, Alex and me.

  Surely she understands things are different for wolves? Their matings mean everything to them. It’s not like Colby said to her, ‘I have a true mate, so our mating is now null and void.’ He just wants to get to know his true mate, and tell her about the bond they share.

  If Emily cares for him at all, she should at least give his true mate a chance. Otherwise, it’s just gonna drive a wedge between them. Unfortunately, I don’t think she sees how impossible she is making both of their lives by being so stubborn. They both deserve happiness, but I have to wonder if that’s possible with the way things are going.

  We’re only a few feet from the steak house when Sebastian suddenly moves faster than the eye can see, pulling me down a nearby alley. The others keep going, either not noticing my absence, or trusting Sebastian to protect me, which in itself warms my heart.

  It’s still light out, so the alley isn’t quite dark or unnerving, but it’s still an alley. Why did he bring me here?

  "What on earth are you doing, Bas?" I whisper, my voice breathy with arousal at the sight of him staring at me like a wolf stares at the moon.

  He grins, his blue-gray eyes vibrant in the dark of the alley. “I wanted a second with you because you were looking a little murdery back there.”

  “Murdery?” I frown, wondering what that even looks like. I’d imagine I’d have to be stroking a butcher’s knife with an evil grin for that to be true, so it’s highly doubtful that’s what I looked like, as I have no butcher’s knife, nor do I have any intention of murdering someone.

  Sebastian chuckles in my ear before putting his hands on my hips. Then he plants his lips on mine, kissing me like I’m the only girl in the world. I let my hands run over his chest, and a soft moan slips from me when Sebastian nips my bottom lip. One of his hands moves from my hip to grab my ass. But all too soon, he steps away, panting from the restraint it takes him not to press against me again. Seeing that, I can’t help but feel powerful. To see a man so affected by me, it’s very empowering.

  “Shit, sorry, Katie. I didn’t mean to go that far. I just wanted to help you relax.”

  I laugh lightly and step into his arms again, wrapping my hands around his neck. “You did more than that.” I press my head against his chest, sighing softly. “Thank you for being you. Though I have to admit, you are a lot more honorable than I would have expected for a wolf, especially one who’s still in college. How do you do it? Do you have some kind of super self-restraint?”

  “Ha! If only. It takes everything in my power when I’m near you not to claim you, to make you mine in every way.” My breath hitches and I lean back to stare at him, stunned by the depth of emotion in his words. “However, I know you already have a lot on your plate. Things you are still accepting. I don’t want to rush this, rush us. I know one day you’ll be ready, and when that time comes, I won’t hesitate.”

  My heart starts beating frantically, again thoughts begin going through my mind that it is impossible to feel this way for someone so soon after meeting them. But despite that, I can’t help but feel a deep connection to Sebastian, as if I’ve known him my whole life.

  “As much as I want to say I’m ready for us, you’re right that I’m not yet. Right now, I just have so much on my plate. What with Kaden and Alex, classes and everything else that’s on my radar. Then there’s one of my most pressing problems, which is that my friend is miserable. Despite the fact I know I shouldn’t interfere, Colby’s my closest friend here and he’s hurting. I want to help him, I just don’t know how to without making things worse.”

  Sebastian smiles warmly at me, his eyes showing respect. "And that’s part of why we are all so drawn to you, Katie. You care about what happens to each of us, regardless of whether you've known us a minute or weeks. Even though you can’t shift, you are more of an Alpha than any of us have ever had."

  I flush, both with anger and embarrassment. Anger at their current Alpha, who seems pretty much non-existent in their lives. And embarrassed because I don't want to portray myself as an Alpha. I just want to get through college and live my life, doing what Seth and I always dreamed of, but now things have changed.

  I thought I would be alone, that I could go through life without anyone by my side. I had every intention of building that shifter hospital once I had access to my trust, but now, I can’t help but feel it won’t work out quite like that.

  I still want to do what Seth and I dreamed of, yet now I know I won’t be alone when I do it. I will have this baby, and Kaden and Alex will be with me, hopefully Sebastian too. And Dwayne and Kyle wouldn’t let me go without tagging along, I can already tell that with how protective they are around me. And if we all go, I’m sure the rest of the pack won’t be far behind. I doubt they would let us go off without them, especially when they find out there will soon be a new pack member.

  As for Colby, I don't know. I would like to think he would visit, but if he sticks with Emily, who's to say what will happen?

  Sebastian presses his lips to mine once more before letting me go, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Colby is calling me through the pack bond.” He grabs my hand and murmurs in my ear. “Just between you and me, even though Emily is his mate, if she keeps pushing him like this and refusing to let you and Colby spend time together alone, I don’t think they’ll be together much longer." With that, he starts leading me out of the alley.

  She’s seriously refusing to let us spend time alone time together? Does Emily really think I have no self-restr
aint and would just maul her mate at the first chance I get?

  "I can’t believe she wants us to be supervised when we’re together. I thought she was just being super territorial, but that’s just crazy."

  Bas chuckles, pulling me toward the entrance of the steak house. Thankfully, it's only early evening so the dinner rush hasn’t hit yet. When we step inside, I can see there are just over two dozen round tables set around the restaurant, with enough space between them that people can enjoy their meals and be able to talk to their companions without being close enough to hear other tables’ conversations. Well, unless you’re a wolf that is. Along the back wall is a small bar, with various bottles of alcohol on display.

  As we make our way over to a table over in the back corner of the room where Dwayne and Kyle wait for us, Sebastian continues with our earlier conversation. “Of course Emily is being territorial. She sees the way Colby watches you.”

  “How he watches me? What?”

  “Yes, like an angel that’s fallen from heaven. And on top of that, he’s tasked the three of us to keep an eye on you whenever he can’t. I think that’s one of the things that pisses Emily off the most. She hasn't been assigned any protectors, but Colby gave you three. He could have just demanded that one of us stick with you at all times, but he actually went out if his way to ensure those of us guarding you were also in your classes. Emily knows just how well you can fight, having heard some of the rumors from the party when you knocked Kaden on his ass."

  “Oh, whatever,” I laugh, waving off his words. “Colby is just protecting me. He wants to make sure I’m okay because he knows what I’ve been through. Hell, now that I think about it, he’s probably only protecting me because I helped him with Emily in the first place.”