Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  He strokes my cheek reverently, wiping away the last of my tears. "Now come on, let’s get some sleep. You need to get some rest. And if you need anything, or have any cravings, tell me straight away and I'll send someone out to get it for you."

  I chuckle at his enthusiasm as he climbs into my bed, pressing his back to the wall so I can climb in next to him. I do so, snuggling against him as he wraps an arm around me and pulls me close. His hand goes to my stomach, cradling it reverently. "I can't wait to meet this little one. I am going to spoil him or her rotten."

  "You're not bothered being with me, knowing this baby isn't yours, but another of your pack mate’s?" I ask, voicing my worst fear.

  He presses a kiss to my cheek and rubs small circles over my stomach. "That baby is half you, that's enough for me. Besides, maybe one day the two of us will make the choice to have a child together. But until that day comes, I am more than content with whatever you want of me. Whether you will allow me to be a part of your child's life or would rather me stay out of it, I will respect your decision. Either way, I will love and protect any child of yours, whether it’s mine biologically or not. Now, no more talking. Sleep."

  I close my eyes and relax against the man behind me as he holds me close, knowing he won’t let anyone hurt me. As I fall asleep, for the first time since Seth passed away, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

  The darkness surrounds me, and it’s so frightening that I wish someone else was here with me, but I’m all alone.

  “Hello? Is there anyone there? Please, I don’t know where I am…” My voice echoes like I’m in a cave, but I think that would be a step up from whatever this place is.

  “Kat?! You need to run away from here. Get as far away from me as you can!”

  Seth? He suddenly appears before me, with a soft white light surrounding his body.

  I don’t even think, I just leap into his arms. My lips are on his before he can say another word and I don’t even care where I am anymore. I could be dead for all I care, I’m just so glad to see his face again.

  He breaks the kiss and cups my cheek gently, wiping away the tears that are falling. I’m surprised to see his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, my love, but you need to leave. If he knows you are here, he will use it against you. I don’t even know how you got here in the first place. It should be impossible…”

  “No, I’m not leaving. I don’t care where we are; I want to stay with you forever.”

  He smiles sadly, his soft green eyes filled with such pain. “I would like nothing more than to be with you, Kat. You are my everything, but if he finds out you’re here, he will kill you and I can’t let that happen. It’s bad enough he uses my body to spy on you all, but I won’t let him hurt you if I can help it.”

  “Seth, what are you talking about? Who is using your body? And where exactly are we?”

  “It’s a long story, and not one for tonight. You have your mates waiting for you in the real world. But maybe one day soon, we will see each other again.”

  “No!” I shake my head adamantly, my arms tightening as I cling to him. “I won’t leave you! I don’t care if this is a dream, or some kind of nightmare I conjured to make myself feel guilty, I just can’t. Don’t make me leave you.” I start sobbing against his shoulder.

  He runs a hand up and down my back soothingly. “I know, my love. I don’t want you to go any more than you want to leave, but you have your children and the rest of your mates to think about now.”

  My mind starts racing. “How do you know about my new mates and that I’m pregnant? And what do you mean by ‘children?’”

  He leans back and smirks at me, his eyes filled with laughter. “Kitty Kat, don’t you remember me telling you that a lot of shifter pregnancies are multiples? And let’s face it, a woman as powerful as you is bound to be carrying a litter of at least two.”

  His face suddenly pales and his eyes widen in panic. “He knows you’re here.” Before I can ask who he means, Seth presses his mouth to my neck over the claiming mark he gave me, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh. The skin around his mouth begins to sear hotter than a blazing inferno. I try to pull away, but he only holds me tighter against him. “Sorry, love, but this is the only way.”

  My body is thrown back and the room fades into darkness. It feels like an unseen force is pulling me back into my body, but I don’t want to go. I want to stay with Seth. But like a rubber band snapping, I’m thrown back in my body.

  I jolt up in my bed, panting from the realism of the dream I just had. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that was a real place I was in with Seth. I shudder just thinking about it.

  “Hey Katie, what’s wrong?” Sebastian asks, sitting up in bed behind me.

  I shake my head and then brush the strands of hair off my sweaty face. “It’s nothing. Just a dream. I’m gonna go clean up a bit and then come back to bed.” Then I climb out from under the sheets, feeling hot all over. I manage to resist the urge to reach up and touch my claiming mark until I’m inside the bathroom.

  I close the door behind me and switch the light on. As I look at myself in the mirror, I have to hold back a gasp. To my surprise, my claiming mark is burning red, almost as if it was fresh. I turn on the tap and splash some cool water over it, watching in fascination as it heals before my eyes.

  What the hell? How is this possible? And if that wasn’t really a dream, does that mean Seth is somehow still alive?

  Ugh, I feel like absolute crap today. After that dream, I never ended up getting back to sleep, despite Sebastian cradling me protectively for the rest of the night. I think he knew I needed to feel safe, but that wasn’t the half of it.

  I was wrestling with the fact that I dreamt about my dead mate, but somehow had the marks to show for it when I woke. I know I didn’t imagine it, but what could that have been if not a dream?

  We buried Seth. I know that for a fact. I saw him in the coffin before he was lowered into the earth alongside my parents. There is no way he could still be alive. Unless there is some kind of life after death, but I don’t even know how to ask about that. It’s not like I can just go up to one of the guys and ask, ‘Oh hey, is there such a thing as ghosts that have corporeal bodies? I’m asking because my mate came to me in a dream and bit me.’

  “Katie?” I look up at Sebastian, who is watching me with concern. Kyle and Dwayne also seem to be a little worried, but I force a smile and take a sip of my coffee. We all had a break and decided to meet up at the café again before our next class. The one I’m supposed to have with Colby. He was apparently going to meet me here, but so far, there’s been no sign of him.

  “Sorry, what did you say?” I ask, giving my full attention to Sebastian. I have no clue what he was talking about because I was too lost in my own thoughts.

  Sebastian frowns at me his eyes filled with concern. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’ve barely touched your muffin.” He looks pointedly at the pastry in question, which I started tearing apart when I sat down. I had only had a piece or two up until this point.

  I smile, trying to reassure them, but I can’t help the exhaustion I feel. “Yeah, I’m fine, just tired. I didn’t sleep very well.”

  Thinking I’m no longer interested in my muffin, Kyle reaches across the table, his hand hovering over the largest piece. But before he can grab it, a growl slips past my lips.

  He pulls his hand back quickly, looking at me with wide eyes. “You know, it’s somehow both terrifying and incredibly hot when you do that. But after seeing that, I don’t think I will ever eat food from your plate for fear of losing my arm.”

  I chuckle at that and shove the piece he was going for into my mouth. “You know, it still fascinates me that male wolves get off on something as simple as a female growling. I mean, isn’t it kind of creepy? And I don’t know, challenging in a way?”

  Sebastian leans forward and presses his lips to mine quickly before pulling back with a
flirty grin. “Trust me, babe, it’s fucking hot as hell to see a female wolf claim what is hers. Most human females think it’s attractive for them to be all weak, and have the male do everything for them. Wolves aren’t like that, though. We value a strong woman.

  “Even before we knew what you were, we realized you were stronger than normal. From what happened with Brady to the way you carried yourself when you walked through the halls. You may think you didn’t come to the pack’s attention until you came to the party, but the truth is, we all noticed you the moment you stepped on campus.

  “Something changed in the air, a sudden sense of power we didn’t recognize. On top of that, a lot of us noticed you that first day when you were hauling your stuff up to your room. From what I heard, there was actually a fight between two of the youngest members of our pack. They both wanted to offer their help, but they couldn’t decide which of them should ask,” Sebastian explains with a chuckle, that revelation making a flush rise on my cheeks.

  Damn, I can’t believe the pack noticed me right away like that. I don’t know whether to be unnerved or flattered.

  I open my mouth to tell them so, but then two shadows fall over the table. With it comes that awful scent of ash and sulphur, only this time it’s so thick it makes me want to gag. I lift a hand to cover my mouth and look up to see Colby and Emily.

  Kyle, Dwayne and Sebastian all watch the two of them, looking tense as they do. I watch as Colby moves my bag to the floor and then slides into the seat next to me, with Emily taking the seat on the other side of him.

  She glances around the table nervously before her eyes finally settle on me. “Hey, Katie. How are you doing today?”

  I offer her a forced smile, trying making it look as natural as I can despite the circumstances. “I’m good. Just really tired. I just had a particularly bad nightmare and couldn’t get much sleep after.”

  “Oh? What kind of nightmare? Was it like those ones where you find yourself in class naked? I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had that one.” The smirk Emily throws me unnerves me a little, not because of her dream but because of the knowing glint in her eyes. As if she has some idea what my dream was about, but that's impossible.

  I chuckle and shake my head. “I wish it was something like that. No, I dreamt I was in a world of blackness, and my mate was there too. I think it’s just my subconscious’ way of working through my issues,” I admit sadly. I don’t bother telling them how real the dream was, or the fresh marks on my neck, not wanting to worry any of the guys.

  My body jolts when Colby’s hand grips mine comfortingly from under the table. A zap travels from our joined hands up to my chest and a soft gasp slips from me. He jerks in surprise but then relaxes completely, subtly shifting closer to me. What the hell was that?

  When I look up, I see that Emily is looking at me with fear in her eyes, which confuses me. I expected fake sympathy, not the absolute terror I see before me.

  She scoots back in her chair, hurriedly getting to her feet. Then she bends down to give Colby a quick kiss. “Sorry, babe. I just remembered I have a class I need to get to. I’ll see you later.”

  Then without another word, she’s rushing out of the café like the hounds of hell are chasing her.

  “Did I say something weird?” I look between Dwayne and Kyle, wondering if I gave something away unintentionally.

  Dwayne turns away, looking at the double doors she left through with a concerned expression. “No, you didn’t. She must have just forgot her class like she said…”

  Suddenly, I feel a hand caressing my stomach, both of which are hidden by the table. I look to my left, smiling at the blissful look on Colby’s face. “I take it you missed me, huh?” I tease, my gaze flicking to his hand, which is rubbing circles on my belly reverently like it contains the Holy Grail.

  His brow furrows in confusion. “Strangely, I did. I went back to Emily’s room with her. I had every intention of going to check on you before going back to the frat for the night. But Emily told me you were safe with the others and that I didn’t need to look in on you, saying I could just stay with her instead. You were, right? Nothing happened after I left you alone?”

  I hold my hand over his as he caresses my stomach. I imagine I have a goofy smile on my face, but I don’t even care. “I was fine, don’t worry. Bas stayed with me in my room and we were lucky enough that Frannie stayed away the whole night. I was worried about you, though. Is everything with Emily okay now? No more fighting?”

  Again he looks confused. “I don’t know. We didn’t exactly talk things through if you know what I mean.”

  A sharp stab of jealousy rises up within me, but I quickly it down. Colby is off limits. He can do whatever he wants with his mate, whether she’s some wicked witch or not.

  Sebastian, being as perceptive as ever, scoots his chair closer to me and presses a kiss to my temple. “I think you guys better be off. Class starts in ten minutes,” he reminds me, looking down at his phone on the table.

  “Oh yeah, we should get going.” I nod, and climb to my feet, grabbing my bag as Colby slowly gets to his feet. The confusion and frustration in his eyes seem to be warring within him and I have no idea what the hell to do. Do I tell him about Emily? What she might be? Isn’t it more cruel to be leaving him to suffer through these emotions with no explanation?

  I shake my head, forcing myself to clear my mind. There is no point in dwelling on this. I will just have to wait until the Alpha gets here. Then he’ll explain the truth to Colby and I won’t have to, or have Colby get pissed at me for revealing it to him. For Colby’s sake, though, I really hope we’re all wrong about Emily.

  A hand slides into mine and I smile up at Colby, hiding all my emotions, which are just under the surface, ready to spill forth at any moment.

  I look around at the other three guys, their concern clear as day in their expressions. “I’ll see you guys after class.” I wave at them and then bend down to Sebastian, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I can handle myself, Bas, but if it makes you feel better, you can come find me when class is finished.”

  When I pull away, I can see that his gray-blue eyes are burning with desire. “I will find you.”

  Sebastian’s steely gaze then flicks to Colby, but for only a second before I turn and pull Colby after me. Damn, I thought I wouldn’t have any issues with Sebastian being overprotective, but now that he knows about the baby, it’s like he’s become a completely different wolf.

  As Colby and I walk to class, it’s silent between us, which makes me nervous. Normally, we’d be talking about anything and everything, but it’s like he’s lost some of his spark. Maybe tomorrow at my appointment, I can ask his mother about witches. See if she might have some information that could help.

  I hate lying to Colby, but I won’t risk his safety. From what the guys have said, three witches took down Colby’s pack of almost fifty wolves when they attacked. If three witches held that much power, then what would one do if she found out the person she was manipulating was planning to kill her? I won’t let her hurt what I’ve claimed as mine. My pack.

  It's Saturday. A week away from Halloween. A week from my birthday. A week from the anniversary of my mate and parents’ deaths.

  But today, I find myself feeling remarkably excited, happy even. Today’s the day I have my check up with Colby’s mom to see the progress of my pregnancy. And now that I have a tentative plan in place, I feel ten times better about the whole situation. I can do this.

  I debated long and hard whether to tell Kaden and Alex about the baby before my appointment, but I just haven’t had an opportunity to do so. So I decided to wait until I know the baby is healthy before I reveal everything to them.

  Last night, Sebastian offered to come along but I explained that I didn’t think it was a good idea, especially since neither Kaden nor Alex would be there. Yes, Colby will be there with me, but since he technically has a mate already, I doubt Kaden or Alex would be upset with him coming,
especially when they find out about the witch situation.

  After Emily disappeared yesterday, Colby seemed to slowly return to normal. Then when we stepped out of class, we saw that Sebastian, Dwayne and Kyle were already waiting for me.

  Kyle and Dwayne walked Colby back to the frat house, claiming they wanted to talk to him about something, but Sebastian admitted after they left that it was more of an excuse so they could keep him away from Emily for a bit longer. Bas explained that they were testing whether Emily’s proximity was affecting Colby, because if so, that could mean she is the witch influencing him. Apparently the kind of magic involved in such a thing needs something of a booster every few hours so the subject remains under the control of the witch casting the hex. I still haven’t heard whether or not it worked, but fingers crossed, the guys will have answers after my trip with Colby today.

  A knock on my door startles me, but before I can even move to answer it, Sebastian is there, a towel wrapped around his waist as wet droplets trail down his skin.

  He opens the door, and a low growl suddenly fills the doorway.

  Who the hell is growling at Bas like that? I stomp over to the door and my mouth opens in shock at the sight of Alex standing there, glaring openly at Sebastian.

  I sigh in exasperation, but I get how this might look so I can’t really blame him. “Bas, go get dressed.”

  He winks at me, but then goes to do just that, leaving me standing at my door with Alex, who looks lost and unsure. I move out of the doorway, gesturing into my room. “Well? You coming in or are you planning to just stand out in the hall all day?”

  Alex blinks and then takes three quick steps into the room, and I close the door behind him. He turns around, opening his mouth to say something, but before he has the chance, I’m throwing myself into his arms. “God, I missed you. I’m sorry I was such a bitch about everything.”

  He pulls me back to look down at me in confusion, his expression showing just how unexpected my apology was. “Um, why are you apologizing to me? Shouldn’t I be the one groveling on my knees for your forgiveness?”