by Emma Davies
‘I’ve heard all about you,’ Anna replies, easily enough, but I can’t help but wonder if she feels a bit awkward in the face of my friendship with Rachel. I hope not.
‘We’re just off out for a walk,’ I add. ‘Round the village and then down to the Sawley brook for a paddle. I can take Tilly too, if she’d like to come.’
Anna darts an anxious look at her daughter. ‘Maybe not today,’ she says. ‘I didn’t realise it was so hot and we’ve just been out for quite a long walk.’ Her voice falls to a near whisper. ‘She’s a bit down in the dumps for some reason, so I’d best take her home.’
But Anna’s quiet words are still loud enough for Tilly to hear. ‘Oh, Mum, please can I go? I’m not tired, honest.’ Tilly’s face looks brighter and I can see Anna is torn. Unwittingly, I’ve put her in a difficult position.
‘I don’t want her to be a nuisance,’ Anna replies, unusually reticent, even though we both know that the girls will play far more happily if they’re all together.
‘Mum, please…’
Lauren comes back to my side, looking up at me with a pleading face, but it’s not my decision to make. I’m struggling for a way out that doesn’t leave Anna in a worse place when she glances across at Rachel and smiles back at me. ‘Actually, that would be lovely, Thea. As long as you don’t mind?’
‘Not at all. I’ll make sure we head back if Tilly looks too hot or tired.’
Tilly’s already dancing about in her slightly jerky, lopsided way, but she doesn’t look lacking in energy, far from it.
‘You’ll need your wellies, Tilly,’ Anna says. ‘Do you want to go run and get them?’ Her daughter doesn’t need a second invitation and the three girls race off as Anna mouths a thank you at me. She drops to her haunches to give Fergus a fuss. ‘Even you’re worn out today, aren’t you boy? I think we’re all a bit out of sorts.’ He’s taken the opportunity to flop in the dusty lane and, although he raises an eyebrow at being addressed, it’s clear he has no desire to move. The seconds tick by.
‘Thea tells me you live next door,’ says Rachel. ‘That must be so weird knowing that Drew lived there as a boy and must know your house almost as well as you do.’
Anna straightens. ‘We’ve only lived here for five years and I gather it’s changed a bit since, but yes.’ She looks along the lane towards her house, passing the dog lead from one hand to the other as she does so. ‘I’m not sure I’d like to go back to the place where I grew up.’
She pauses for a moment. ‘In fact, I’m sure I wouldn’t. But then I don’t think my memories are as happy as yours are, Thea.’ She smiles, wistfully, or simply with sadness, I can’t tell.
To my relief, there’s a shriek as the girls come hurtling back towards us, their feet making the odd waffling noise that only running in wellies can produce. Fergus gets to his feet as if sensing movement is imminent.
‘Right, come on then you lot, let’s go,’ I say. ‘And poor Fergus can have a proper rest.’ I turn to Anna. ‘We might be a couple of hours, is that okay? But we’ll see how we go.’
She nods and passes a hand over Tilly’s hair. ‘Behave yourself, you,’ she says. ‘I’ll see you later. Lovely to meet you, Rachel,’ she adds. And with that she turns, her thick ponytail swinging as she walks away. She’s only gone a few paces when she stops and glances back. ‘Oh, and enjoy your walk. Bye…’ She waves, smiling.
The girls are already walking on ahead. ‘Mind the road,’ I say automatically as Rachel and I follow behind.
‘She seems nice,’ says Rachel.
‘Oh, she is,’ I reply. ‘They’ve been such lovely neighbours since we moved in.’ I pause for a second. ‘Although, she was a bit quiet today.’ I nod at the girls’ backs in front of us. ‘I think she might be a bit worried about Tilly actually,’ I murmur. ‘I’ll tell you in a bit…’
We turn out onto the main road through the village where the full force of the sun hits us after the relative shade of the lane. ‘Blimey,’ I say. ‘Ice creams before we paddle, or after?’ I ask, grinning at Rachel. ‘Or both?’
There’s a predictable chorus from the girls and I laugh. ‘We’ll see,’ I add.
The village is quiet, although the soft strains of organ music drift out from the church as we walk past. ‘Did I tell you that Anna’s husband, Rob, is the local curate?’ I ask. ‘He has a christening tomorrow, as well as the usual Sunday service. I would imagine they’re having a practice.’
Rachel nods. ‘It’s lovely.’ She takes a deep breath and sighs. ‘That’s what I really like about villages,’ she says. ‘That whole community thing. Where everyday ordinary things are a big part of people’s lives. It happens in London too, I’m not saying it doesn’t, but the cycle of life here seems more…’ She searches for the right word. ‘Meaningful somehow. People are involved on a different level.’
I smile at her. ‘You really have been bitten by the bug, haven’t you?’ I say. ‘But you’re right, it’s nice to feel a part of things. And the children just love it here.’ I’m conscious of Lauren’s altercation with Leo as I say it, particularly as we’re now nearing the school.
‘Well, they’ve obviously made friends easily enough. Have they settled in okay?’
‘Yes, fine,’ I reply, skirting the subject. I would love to talk to Rachel about it, but it doesn’t seem fair. She’s come for a weekend away, not to listen to my worries. ‘Of course, it’s helped having Tilly on our doorstep. They all hit it off straight away.’
Rachel nods, directing her look in front of us. ‘It must be incredibly difficult for Tilly,’ she says, softly. ‘But she manages very well, doesn’t she?’
‘Testament to Anna and Rob,’ I reply. ‘They don’t treat her as if she has a disability so I don’t think Tilly really ever gives it a thought. She just gets on with life, and she’s such a confident little thing that it’s good for Lauren too – who dotes on her, as you may have noticed,’ I add, grinning.
‘I don’t think I’d be quite so well adjusted about it as they seem to be,’ remarks Rachel. ‘I think I’d be completely neurotic if it were Jamie and be reaching for the cotton wool every five minutes.’
I nod. ‘Me too. But then I guess we never know what we’re capable of until we’re faced with it.’
‘You mentioned that Anna was worried about Tilly though…’ She lets the sentence sit between us.
I’m about to answer her, but we’re nearly at the shop. ‘Let’s get some ice creams first,’ I say.
I wasn’t expecting to see Jackie here today, seeing as it’s the weekend, but I can hardly march everyone back out now that the children have crowded around the freezer trying to decide what to buy. I stand back for a minute, letting them have first pick, and try to catch Jackie’s eye. She’s determinedly straightening some perfectly aligned cereal boxes.
‘Was everything okay the other day?’ I ask.
She looks up, doing the ‘who me?’ face. But she can’t pretend for long, I’m staring right at her.
‘The other day,’ I repeat. ‘When you had to bring Chloe home early.’ I smile. ‘I haven’t really seen you since then, but I just wondered if everything was all right. It wasn’t bad news, I hope, only you did look worried.’
Jackie frowns as if trying to remember, but then her expression hardens. ‘No, everything’s fine, thank you.’
She’s not a particularly good liar.
I turn my attention back to the girls. ‘Come on, Chlo, move over. I can’t get a look in and I want an ice cream too.’ I playfully nudge her out of the way with my hip, but the whole time I’m choosing I’m conscious of Jackie’s eyes boring into my back. Or perhaps it’s just my imagination.
As soon as we each have an ice cream in our hands, Rachel scoops them from us. ‘My treat,’ she says, holding them out of my reach. ‘And don’t argue, it’s the least I can do.’
I know from experience that Rachel won’t enter into any discussion on the subject, so I move to the back of the shop to give her some room.
It doesn’t take long to pay, we’re the only customers in there, and, as soon as we’re back outside, I help Rachel hand out the lollies that the girls have chosen. Lauren automatically takes Tilly’s and unwraps it for her, without so much as a glance passing between them, and I realise again how close they’ve become in such a short space of time.
‘Blimey, do I smell or something?’ asks Rachel, holding up her arms and sniffing dramatically.
I give her a puzzled look. ‘Not to my knowledge, why?’
‘Only I thought village shops were supposed to be friendly places and yet the woman in there was giving me the evils the whole time. You too actually.’ She grins at me, rolling her eyes. ‘Oh, I get it, it’s because you’re not local, isn’t it? Nine generations of your family weren’t born in the village, or something like that.’
I smile at Rachel’s assessment, although a part of me is dismayed to know I was right in feeling an atmosphere. ‘Oh, take no notice of her, Rach. I think she’s one of the village gossips…’ I purse my lips. ‘As I’m just beginning to find out.’ I take a bite of my choc ice, lips scrabbling as a piece of chocolate cracks and almost falls away.
‘You mentioned one or two teething troubles,’ she replies. ‘Is that what you meant?’ Rachel never misses anything. She gives me a searching look, one I’ve come to know very well over the years.
I sigh. The girls have walked on a little way ahead so it’s okay to talk. ‘Lauren had a bit of an altercation with a boy in school, and I think his mum has taken great delight in painting Lauren, and therefore by implication, me, as the villains of the piece.’
‘Why, what happened?’
‘She punched him.’
‘Lauren?’ says Rachel, eyes wide. ‘Blimey, what made her do that? I can’t imagine Lauren punching anyone.’
I shrug. ‘She was just standing up for Tilly,’ I say. ‘And there’s no doubt Lauren hit Leo but, from what she’s said, he was goading her, daring her to hit him, and unfortunately Lauren took him at his word.’ I give a wry smile. ‘Sadly however, the head thought it was a good opportunity to make an example of Lauren, and threatened us with exclusion.’
‘But that’s ridiculous. Excluding Lauren? Doesn’t she have eyes in her head?’
‘Ah, but she only has our word for what Lauren is normally like,’ I reply. ‘And we parents are completely unreliable when it comes to assessing our offspring apparently. Plus, Lauren’s official school records haven’t arrived yet, so how could she possibly know.’
Rachel snorts. ‘It sounds as if she’s the type of head who treats all her parents as if they’re idiots. And you got hauled in to see her, did you? I bet that went well.’
‘We tried to make our point, but Lauren’s only been there a week, Rach, so I couldn’t say too much. Probably not wise to make an enemy of the head just yet. But poor Lauren, she was absolutely beside herself.’
Rachel throws an affectionate glance in Lauren’s direction. ‘I can imagine. Oh, that’s horrible. But what happened to the boy? Did he get threatened with exclusion too? Is that why his mum has got it in for you?’
I shake my head. ‘Nope. As the “victim” he got off scot-free.’
Rachel slides me a look. ‘Oh come on… really?’
‘Believe me, I’d be the first to reprimand Lauren if I thought she’d done something wrong, and I’m not saying that hitting another child is ever right, but she says that Leo was hurting Tilly and I believe her. I’ve never seen her so upset.’
Rachel looks between me and the girls. ‘Then good for her, I say. I wish more people stood up to bullies. And I bet Anna was grateful, she’s obviously still rather worried about Tilly.’
I nibble the edge of my ice cream to hide my expression. ‘We haven’t really had a chance to talk about it yet.’ That’s not strictly true; for some reason we haven’t spoken about it at all. ‘But, yes, I think so, even though Tilly’s trying to pretend that nothing happened. Lauren’s somewhat changed her story now and I’m convinced it’s because Tilly is worried about the repercussions if she makes a fuss.’
Rachel is quiet for a moment. ‘So how come we got the silent treatment in the shop then?’ she asks. ‘Was that Leo’s mum?’
‘No, a friend of hers though. All I can think of is that she’s been a bit vocal about what happened and—’
‘The village jungle drums are doing the rest.’
‘Yes, something like that.’
Rachel nudges me gently. ‘Well I’m sorry you’ve had that to contend with but I hope you haven’t let it put a dampener on things here, not when everything else is so perfect.’
Twelve
There’s a bit more of a breeze down by the brook and we walk for a while before the lure of the water gets too much for the girls and we have to give in to their requests to paddle.
It’s hardly changed at all down here since I was a girl. The trees are taller, the hedges thicker, but the little bridge over the brook into the meadow beyond is still the same. The river is just as I remember it too, right down to the little beach where the water runs shallow over a raised bed of stones.
Chloe is wading across it and studying the ground intently, looking for treasure. Every now and again she brings me bits of polished glass she’s found, worn smooth by the water. Tilly and Lauren, on the other hand, are dancing about in the shallows, pretending to catch fish, but it’s just an excuse to put their hands in the water and splash each other. Lauren has a distinct advantage over Tilly but she doesn’t seem to mind at all, taking Lauren’s hand every now and again to steady herself.
‘Ah, this is the life,’ sighs Rachel.
We’re sitting a bit further along the bank, sandals thrown off, our bare feet turned to the sun. I wonder how long we’ll be able to do this before some proper autumnal weather arrives.
‘And it’s all of ten minutes from your house,’ adds Rachel. ‘I’m so jealous.’
I catch a blade of grass between my fingers. ‘I used to spend half my life down here as a child; fishing for minnows, playing Pooh sticks. I never imagined for one minute that I’d get to bring my own children here.’
‘Jamie would love this.’
Rachel’s not looking at me, but instead staring straight ahead, lost in thoughts of how her and Gerry’s future might be.
‘I think Jamie’s mum and dad might love it too,’ I remark, looking at her pointedly. ‘So do it, Rach… Why not? Jamie is at the age where transitioning to a new school wouldn’t be a problem.’
‘I know,’ she replies. ‘It’s just all the other stuff, isn’t it? My parents for one. It’s handy at the moment having them so close and, what with Dad’s health scare last year, it makes me worry about being too far away from them.’
‘I know. It’s easy for me to tell you to move when I don’t have that problem, but you know I bet if you asked them, they’d say the same thing.’
‘They probably would,’ she agrees. ‘How is your mum anyway? Has she come around to the idea of you being here a bit more?’
Too late I realise that this is territory I didn’t want to stray into. My mum’s reaction was the only thing that marred our coming here.
‘A little, I think. But I know I upset her. I was so excited about coming back here I didn’t stop to consider what our news would mean for her. I guess it brought back too many memories of Dad. It hasn’t been that long since he died, after all.’
‘She’ll come round,’ says Rachel, understanding my feelings about it. ‘Just give it time. I bet once she gets used to the idea she’ll be really happy for you.’
‘I know… I hope so. After Dad died I thought we might be able to regain some of the closeness we had when I was younger. I know I idolised my dad, but she always seemed so happy to take a back seat and that hurt. I thought that with him gone she might want to try to close the gap between us, but then she went and moved miles away from home and that kind of put paid to that.’
Rachel smiles and rubs my arm. She’s heard this all befo
re. ‘People deal with grief differently though, Thea. Perhaps that was just her way of coping with it. Don’t give up though, coming here could be just the opportunity you need to get things back on track.’
She’s not the first person to say this, I realise, as I think back to Anna’s words. Maybe I should go and see Mary Williams after all. She and Mum are obviously much closer friends than I thought and she could well prove to be the link between us. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to get someone else’s point of view.
‘And meanwhile, I might have to keep you busy helping us to house-hunt,’ Rachel adds.
She’s teasing, trying to take my mind off thoughts about my mum, but, as I think about her words, I know I’d love it if she and her family did move closer. Perhaps I’d just like to know I have an ally in my camp.
I glance up, realising that the noise Tilly and Lauren were making has stopped. In fact, they’re no longer in sight. I pause, listening, but apart from birdsong and the sound of Chloe’s feet crunching over the stones, it’s silent. They haven’t gone past us, the view is open along the straight stretch of the brook, so perhaps they’ve doubled back. I sit forward, but I still can’t see round the big bushes at the bend in the river.
‘Chlo?’ I call. ‘Have the girls walked back behind you?’
She lifts her head and scans the riverbed. ‘No…’
I get to my feet. It’s the silence I don’t like.
Rachel follows suit and in seconds we’re standing on the bank, but no matter which way we turn there’s no sign of either girl. It’s ridiculous, they can’t just have disappeared. We’d have seen them. There’s nowhere for them to go.
I’m about to shout out when I hear a muffled giggle coming from away to my right and, all at once, a memory assails me. I smile at Rachel, putting a finger to my lips as I make my way silently down the bank and into the shallow water beside Chloe.
I pick my way along the stony surface, careful not to make a sound. I’m not sure if I can be seen, but the giggles have disappeared now and I get the sense that breath is being held. The brambles are thick with leaf and from the field side appear dense and impenetrable. It’s only from the river that you appreciate their secret; a peculiarity of their growth, coupled with their age, has allowed a cavern to form around their thick, gnarly trunk. Growing on the edge of the bank has only served to heighten this natural phenomenon. In some of the older bushes, a ten-year-old child could stand upright inside the ‘cave’, or easily lie down, and I know this for a fact. It’s where Drew and I and countless other kids used to hide out.
