Legacy of the Wolf [The Gray Pack 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Lori King

  “Say something, please?” she whispered fearfully.

  “I don’t know what to say, angel. You’ve been through so much…” Rafe said. He wasn’t looking at her. Instead he was staring at some far-off spot on the wall, as if he wasn’t sure where to look. It reminded her instantly of her last conversation with Jett, when he had explained that all he ever wanted were children of his own.

  She pushed herself out of their arms and moved across her bedroom to grab her robe from the back of the bedroom door. Wrapping herself in it with her back still to them, she spoke. “If you’re going to leave, I just ask that you do it now. I don’t know if I can go through the rejection if we continue like this, and you change your mind. I’m not a whole woman, and I never will be. I tried to warn you away, but—”

  She broke off, and fled to the bathroom. Swallowing back a wave of disappointment and hurt she turned on the shower to cover her ragged breathing, and sat on the toilet lid trying to calm her emotions.

  It was done. The secret was out, and she couldn’t take it back. They would get dressed and leave now, and that would be the end of it. She sniffled for a few more minutes before gathering her strength around her like a security blanket, and stepping into the shower. She took her time under the steamy hot water, washing away every trace of the Whetstone brothers. All she would have left would be the memories of the best sex of her life, and it would have to be enough.

  The water started to get cold, and she finally shut it off and flung the shower curtain open. She screamed when her eyes landed on Rafe leaning against the wall next to the shower, still nude.

  “Shit, Shandi, I didn’t mean to scare you. That’s why I didn’t come in there with you, I was afraid you would get startled and fall. Are you all right?” he said with genuine concern in his voice.

  Her heart was racing a mile a minute and her mouth hung open in shock. “You’re still here?”

  He frowned, and his gaze narrowed. “Yes. Where else would I be?”

  “I just assumed that you would leave,” she said, feeling a little ashamed for doubting his feelings for her.

  “Assuming just makes an ass out of you and me. I’m not leaving. I get it. You’ve been to hell and back, and the asshole you were with wasn’t man enough or strong enough to be there for you. I’m not him, angel. I want you, with or without babies in our future,” Rafe said, and her heart melted for him.

  If she wasn’t already falling, then those words pushed her over the edge. He wanted her as she was, and she wasn’t sure how to wrap her mind around it.

  “Where’s Ryley?” she asked quietly, and when he flushed she knew that Ryley had left.

  “He just needs some time to think, angel, that’s all. Trust me, he wants you, too, but you really threw us a curveball,” Rafe said, glancing away from her again, as she quickly snagged a towel and dragged it over her body to dry herself.

  “Oh, did I? Well, I apologize for upsetting the balance in your world. Clearly I wasn’t considering your feelings,” she snapped, and when he slapped her naked ass, she nearly bit her own tongue off.

  “Stop it. Don’t be like that. I’m just saying, that it’s not what we expected to hear at that moment. Everyone has had a bad relationship that made them skittish to jump in feet first, but you’ve lived through a hell we couldn’t even begin to relate to. Respect it, yes, but understand it, no. Give Ry some time to work it out in his own head. I knew the moment you spoke that it didn’t matter, but Ryley…well, he’s a different story. I need to explain some things to you, but we should both be dressed first. Come on.” He scooped her up in his arms against her protests, and walked her back into the bedroom. When he reached her dresser he let her stand, and he started rifling through the drawers.

  “Hey! Stop it. I’m quite capable of dressing myself, and I don’t appreciate you rifling through my underwear,” she said as she slammed the dresser drawer closed.

  She could see Rafe clench his jaws together, and he took a deep breath. “Fine. Get dressed, and then come to the living room, so that we can talk.”

  He stalked away from her, scooping up his own clothes as he went. Shandi stood shivering for a moment, staring at the empty doorway, and then at the rumpled bed they had all shared. Finally she pulled a T-shirt and boxer shorts from her dresser and slipped them on. There was no point in a bra or panties, because she figured this chat would be over with fairly quickly, and she would want to just go to sleep after he left.

  When she emerged from the bedroom, she found Rafe had built a fire in the fireplace and was sitting in the wingback chair staring into it. He didn’t even look at her as she walked through the room to the kitchen. After popping open a bottle of wine and pouring herself a glass, she finally went back to the living room and took a seat on the chair across from him. After a deep pull from her glass, she set it down and pulled her legs up underneath her, crossing her arms over her chest.

  When he didn’t say anything right away, she grew more nervous than irritated. “Rafe?”

  He turned to meet her gaze, and she was caught off guard by the turbulent emotions rolling through his clear blue eyes. “You know that Ryley and I are adopted, Shandi. It’s a strange story, and I hate to explain everything without Ry here, but when we were little our parents packed us up and moved us away from our home in Alaska. We travelled for a year or so before we came to Kansas City. We were all here for about two months, and then our parents dropped us off at their best friend’s home for the day, and never returned to pick us up. Henley and Victoria Gray tried their best to track them down, but couldn’t. Eventually they elected to adopt us, when no one could find our biological parents.”

  Shandi’s heart broke into pieces for the two small boys who she could only imagine were lost and confused at the abandonment by their parents.

  “All Ryley has talked about since he was about seventeen is having kids of our own. He wants to build a family and a legacy that we can pass down to our sons and daughters, one that isn’t pieced together with foggy memories and assumptions,” Rafe said.

  This was it, the rejection that Shandi had been expecting. They wanted to have kids, and she couldn’t give them that. She wasn’t enough for them, just like she wasn’t enough for Jett.

  “I’m sorry, Rafe. I understand that you two would need that. I wish many things were different in my life, but I’ve learned that I can’t change what is. I can’t ever be what Ryley needs,” she said, feeling as if her heart was being cut out of her chest with an ice pick. Pain tore at her gut and overwhelmed her again.

  “No, Shandi. Don’t ever think that you aren’t enough. Damn it. I wanted to explain, but I’m fucking this up.” He growled in his throat, and ran his hands through his hair. Standing abruptly, he began to pace in front of the fireplace. Shandi didn’t know how to respond, so she just sat quietly watching him. Finally he stopped next to her and dropped to his knees.

  “Angel, don’t shut down on me now. Give Ryley a little time to think, and don’t assume he will walk away from you. We’re…different. In our culture, we believe very strongly in destiny and love at first sight. You are the woman for us, I know that in my soul, but Ryley has to have more time to think about it before he accepts it. Okay?” His blue eyes looked bluer than before, and the pleading in his voice weakened her resolve.

  “I don’t believe in love at first sight, or in destiny, but I would like to have you both in my life somehow,” she whispered, and then she cried out in surprise as he managed to lift her into his arms, stand, and resettle in the chair underneath her while he cradled her against his chest tightly. He did it faster than she could even get another word out, and she shivered at his show of physical strength. She wasn’t exactly light as a feather, but he picked her up like she was. It was sexy as hell.

  “Really? That’s enough for now. Just promise me that you will still come out to our place with me tomorrow. Spend the day with us. Meet our family, and give us a chance,” he begged, and she couldn’t say no. Instead
she just nodded and relaxed into his hold. “Thank you, angel, you won’t regret it.”

  They sat there silently cuddling for a good hour, watching the fire crackle and burn in the fireplace. Rafe made no moves to adjust her weight in his lap. He just continued to hold her and stroke her back gently. She could feel her eyes getting heavy, and she jumped when he suddenly stood with her in his arms. Grabbing ahold of his broad shoulders to steady herself, she gasped.

  “I’m just taking you back to bed, angel. You’re tired, and sitting awake all night will make you grumpy tomorrow I’m sure. It’s late—well, it’s early morning—but we both need some rest.” As he spoke he carried her to the bed and tucked her into the covers. “I’m going to put the fire out and lock up.”

  Shandi snuggled down into the bed, surprised at how comfortable she was with letting him handle those things for her. She had been so self-sufficient for the last few years that she was stunned at how nice it felt to have a person to lean on.

  A moment later Rafe was slipping under the covers behind her, and he spooned up against her back, tucking his face into her neck.

  “You smell amazing, angel. If it weren’t for the fact that you would be too sore to walk tomorrow I would take you again and again all night long.” She shivered as he pressed his lips against her neck.

  “I’ll take a rain check for tonight, and hold you to it another time,” she said.

  His laughter warmed her heart, and she smiled in the dark as he responded, “You got it, angel. Any time you think you’re up for it,”

  “So I take it you’re going to stay the night?” she whispered hesitantly.

  “I’m not as stupid as you might think. I’m not going to walk away from a chance to hold you in my arms all night,” he murmured back.

  Surprisingly his words didn’t make her cringe. Instead they were comforting and sweet. She smiled happily as she felt herself drifting to sleep. This was what her heart longed for, and it was as scary as it was welcome.

  Chapter 11

  Ryley was running, both mentally and physically. He was on four paws running through the woods near the den. The wind ruffled his pale golden fur and filled his lungs with refreshing space that he needed desperately.

  He was running because he needed solitude to think. He knew in his soul that he was putting defensive walls up, because he was scared to let Shandi into his heart. Eventually he would have to make the choice to accept his destiny with a woman who couldn’t have children, or force his instincts aside and possibly lose his mind.

  Wolves couldn’t survive without their mate once they had scented them. If they resisted the mating, it would slowly drive their animal side insane, until either they went completely feral, or they died. It wasn’t a pretty outlook for the future, but neither was the idea of never being able to have children of his own.

  He had spent more than a decade wishing for a bloodline of his own. He had vague memories of his parents, and an insurmountable urge to find them. In his ideal plan for the future, he would somehow track his parents down, so that he could show them what they had missed out on by abandoning him and his brother. With a mate at his side, and possibly pups to boot, he would have been able to prove his point, and make them sorry they ever left.

  Now, he just didn’t know what to think. A mate who couldn’t bear children wasn’t part of his plan for the future. Every outcome he could picture now just wasn’t as satisfying.

  A sharp whistle sounded to his right, slowing him in his tracks, and he immediately turned toward it. There was only one person in the pack who would signal that way—Delaky—the pack shaman.

  She was human, or at least she looked human, and no one had ever seen her shift, so it was assumed that she wasn’t wolf. However, when she was close, you could smell the scent of wolf on her, in her blood, and in her soul. She was something else entirely. She had been around for ages, longer than any pack member alive today, but she still looked young and beautiful in her own way.

  He found her sitting on a rock in the forest clearing where the creek had long ago created a small pond. Her white-blond hair was so long that it puddled on the rock behind her, covering her thin back.

  You run with the energy of a heart in turmoil.

  The unexpected words in his head slowed Ryley’s movements, and he padded over to lie down next to the rock. He was breathing hard after his run, and his body was exhausted. Remaining in wolf form, he rested his head on his paws, and stared out at the dark water of the pond.

  I suppose it is in turmoil. I don’t know.

  You know what you know. The truth is clear. It is your acceptance that is clouded.

  Ryley growled low in his throat with frustration, and Delaky laughed out loud. The sound of her voice was soft and soothing to his frayed nerves. It was like a gentle lullaby from his childhood, and his heart tightened with grief.

  I met my mate, but she isn’t what I expected. She nearly died from cancer, and can’t have children. How are Rafe and I supposed to build our legacy without our own children?

  Her womb is barren, but her soul is not. She is pure in heart, and her loyalty is true. Is this not enough?

  No, it’s not. Or at least I don’t think it is right now.

  Selfish, and spoiled. Your world broke many years ago, leaving you adrift. That is no reason to sail the sea alone. You must allow destiny to give you the gifts you are fated. You hurt her tonight?

  Ryley was silent for a few moments, but in his mind he was picturing the sadness, and pain on Shandi’s face as she told her story.

  Yeah, I think I did. I didn’t mean to, but when she told me…I just had to get away.

  You seek advice for questions you have answers to.

  I didn’t seek advice, you called me here. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but right now the idea of not having Shandi makes my wolf crazy.

  The wolf knows what it wants. Stop fighting the path you are meant to walk, or you will stumble.

  Do you ever say anything that isn’t in a riddle?

  Ryley looked up at Delaky. Her pale bluish-white eyes seemed to glow in the night, and a shiver went up his spine as she gave him a slow, eerie smile.

  There are no riddles, only truths. Push through the selfishness of youth. Release the black betrayal of your past. Open your heart to your destiny.

  What if I don’t want that destiny?

  Choices are our own to make.

  With those last puzzling words, she stood up and walked silently from the clearing. Ryley turned back to the black pond, and sighed heavily.

  What kind of a choice was this? He either accepted a woman that he barely knew, who couldn’t help him obtain his life’s goal, or he let himself go crazy?

  His wolf was growling furiously, and wouldn’t allow him to shift back into his human form. Clearly he wasn’t going to have an easy time of convincing him to cooperate and walk away from Shandi. Instantly regret filled Ryley’s heart.

  That wasn’t what he really wanted, was it? A mental picture of Shandi spread out underneath him, her ass raised for his pleasure, while her head was dropped in submission. His cock throbbed at the memory of her tight, wet passage gripping him while she rode the wave of her climax. She fit him perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.

  It would be impossible to walk away from her. He thought back to the way she laughed, and playfully teased him at the fair, and the easy way she had handled his pushiness at the bar. She was so strong that it seemed inconceivable that she was broken in a sense. His heart ached at the thought of the pain she must have suffered in the last five years.

  He had noticed the scars from the biopsies, and the three tiny black dots on her abdomen that she said were from her radiation. What kind of pain must she have survived to be left with those marks? How strong did her character have to be to have come through that and still have the ability to laugh and have fun like a kid at the fair?

  The smell of the dawn tempted Ryley’s nose after several more hours of silent refl
ection, and he finally stood stiffly and padded back toward home. He didn’t run this time, having expelled all of his energy earlier. He just moved slowly through the forest, taking in the peacefulness around him, as the sun’s first rays broke through the trees. One way or another, this was where he belonged, and where he was the happiest.

  For the millionth time in his life he wondered what would have made his parents leave this place. Of course he knew that they were originally from an Alaskan pack, so they had to have had a reason to leave their home in the first place, but they had all seemed happy once they acclimated to the Gray Pack. Until they were gone. Just like that, one day they were there, and the next they had disappeared without a trace.

  He knew that they had left no note, no instructions, no explanation, because he had discussed it with his brother and his adopted dad Henley often enough. What he couldn’t get around was that his formerly caring, attentive parents had left him and Rafe behind. It haunted him, and he was afraid he would never be able to get over it without finding some answers first.

  He reached the cabin just as Liam and Tina were leaving for work. Liam carried a duffel bag over his shoulder for his twenty-four-hour shift at the fire station, and Tina wore scrubs and a stethoscope. She was a nurse at the local hospital right now, but soon hopefully she would be helping get that clinic opened for the pack.

  Ryley shifted into human form in the blink of an eye, and gave them both a wave as he walked up the steps toward the front door. He wasn’t sure if Tina was completely comfortable with being around him in the nude yet, but her easy greeting reassured him and he relaxed.

  “Morning, sunshine, late night?” Tina called out with a smile.

  “Morning, Tink!” he responded, getting the cringing frown that he was going for. She hated the nickname her brother Thomas had given her as a child, so that made Ryley use it that much more.

  “Don’t call me that,” she grumbled as she tossed her purse into the seat of her car.

  “But I know how much you love that endearment. How much longer until you guys are in your new place for good?” he asked.