To Kill a President

by By Marc james

  As he let out a scream and gasped for air he sat up straight in bed. His skin was drenched with cold sweat. He coughed and caught site of the time on the large clock on the opposing wall. It was 15:20. He was back in his room at the hospital. He felt drowsy and knew that there was almost another hour before his first visitor would arrive. His father Daniel had come to see him every day at 16:00. His eyes began to focus on his surroundings and it was then that he realised that he was not alone. An elderly man was sitting on a chair to the right hand side of the bed. Beside him sat a much younger man, he was perhaps a year or two younger than Faraday. The young man had short black hair, with piercing blue eyes. He had a pot belly and huge dark bags under his eyes. Resting gently between his knees was a black cane with the head of an eagle at the top.

  This was not the first time Faraday had awoken to find someone in his room. He had stopped eating and drinking when he arrived in the hospital. He was taking Diazepam for the anxiety and required sleeping tablets. He was also taking anti-depressants as if they were smarties. He was constantly confused and found it hard to focus on his surroundings. Just this morning a doctor had come to the room to inform him he had been sectioned for the next month. Meaning it would be well into October before he got out of this hell hole.

  The silence was broken by the elderly man. “How are you today Mr Faraday?”

  Chapter 4

  What a stupid fucking question he thought. Under normal circumstances Faraday would try to suppress his frustration but on this occasion he didn’t feel frustrated, he didn’t feel anything anymore. He had no emotions. He felt empty, he was a broken man consumed by guilt and fear.

  “I’m fine.” He lied. “Who are you? I normally see that blonde doctor?”

  The young man seemed annoyed by the question, his hand fiddled with the eagle perched on top of his cane. His tanned skin contrasted with that of the older man sitting to his left. He looked tired and it was clear he would rather be anywhere but here. Before the old man could respond Faraday jabbed a finger in the direction of the young stranger. “And who is he?!”

  This was too much for the young man to take. “Who am I? Try to show some god damned gratitude boy!” He yelled in his thick southern American accent.

  “Bobby why don’t you just calm down and let me speak to Mr Faraday.” The old man spoke with authority. Bobby glared and without saying anything bowed his head in defeat.

  “Apologies we have come a long way to see you and Bobby did not manage to sleep on the journey, I however had no such problems.” He let out a throaty chuckle that again seemed to annoy Bobby.

  “So who are you?” Faraday asked, confused by the odd couple that were sat by his bedside.

  “Sorry Mr Faraday, my name is Dr David Lewis and this is my dear friend Bobby Stinson. We wanted to see how you were doing, you don’t look like yourself.” The older man spoke with an American accent that he could not place. He was soft spoken and unlike the doctors Faraday had met in the hospital thus far he seemed caring almost like he understood Faraday’s pain.

  “Sorry I don’t understand why have you travelled to see me? How do you mean I don’t look like myself? Do you even know why I’m in here?”

  Dr Lewis closed his eyes and nodded solemnly. Bobby grunted again seemingly annoyed by the question.

  “Bobby perhaps it would be better if you waited in the hall?”

  Bobby did not argue, he struggled to his feet and hobbled from the room. He had grown old before his time Faraday thought. He suddenly felt sympathetic towards Bobby as he watched him struggle with his cane. As soon as Bobby had left the room Dr Lewis began speaking.

  “Yes James I know why you are here. I’m very sorry about Jane. She was a wonderful woman.” The doctor’s eyes were on the verge of releasing tears, which he choked back.

  “You knew Jane?” Faraday suddenly felt his emotions returning.

  “Yes James, but I am here to talk about you. What has been going on since the accident?”

  “Surely you’ve read my notes they should tell you everything?”

  “Ah if it were only that simple.” Dr Lewis gave out a sigh. “Unfortunately I do not work at this hospital. I work at Parkland Hospital in Dallas. I was granted permission to see you out of professional courtesy. So please James tell me what has happened since the incident?”

  Faraday did not want to tell his story it held nothing but pain. “But how did you know I was here? Why would you come from Dallas?”

  “James I was informed of your predicament by an old friend. Let’s just say I felt compelled to come and see you. So please I do not have much time what has been going on?”

  “Well after the accident I stayed in Inverness. I was taken into hospital as they were worried I may have hypothermia. I was only kept in one night and then I booked into a travel lodge. The police brought in divers to recover Jane’s body. But they didn’t find her.” His eyes began to well up with tears. “After a week I came back to Stirling. I went back up north in August with Jane’s mother. She was suffering she just wanted to lay her daughter to rest. Jane’s mother has donated a park bench that sits by the side of the Loch in Jane’s memory.” As Faraday told his story the tears were streaming down his face.

  “I’m very sorry, I did not mean to upset you. How long have you been in the ward?”

  “I don’t know it’s hard to keep track of time in this place. It’s just making me worse.” Faraday continued weeping. “I miss her so much! I just wish I could change things! I want to die!”

  “James you can’t think that way, Jane wouldn’t want you.” He was cut off in mid sentence as Faraday screamed.

  “I killed her! It’s me that should be dead not her! That’s why I took all those fucking pills, next thing I know I’m stuck in here, I’m not even allowed to leave this place!”

  “James it is for your own good, you are special we can’t let you harm yourself. What were you thinking about this morning?”

  Faraday stopped crying and looked at the doctor. “How do you know about that?”

  “I don’t James that’s why I’m asking. The nurse told me on the way to your room that you had been sectioned this morning. What did you do?” Faraday was taken aback by the way the doctor spoke. The tone of his voice and the expression on his face made him come across as a very compassionate man.

  “What kind of Doctor are you anyway? You’re not like the others? The only time I see them is when they lie to my parents about watching over me.”

  “I’m a Forensic Pathologist. What happened this morning?”

  “A Forensic Pathologist, but isn’t that like autopsies?”

  “Yes James.”

  “Well you’re a bit early Doc. They took my lighter away this morning, they even took the laces from my shoes. Not really many ways of killing myself now. I don’t seem to be very good at it anyway.”

  “Well I’m glad to hear that James. Would you like to go for a cigarette I have a lighter. We could see if the smoking room is empty or I noticed a small garden on my way through the ward.”

  “Sure.” Cigarettes had become the only joy in Faraday’s life whilst he had been in hospital. He struggled to walk with the laces missing from his shoes, his feet kept popping out. They made their way along the corridor to the smoking room and saw that it was full of patients. They carried on a little further and turned right into a magnolia painted room with a couch and TV on the right hand side. There was a small table covered in books and board games to the left of the room. At the far end was a glass door that led into a small garden area. It was completely enclosed there was no way out. Faraday had looked for ways to escape the ward on his first day. As they entered the garden he suddenly felt cold. It had been a week since he had last been outside. The doctor pulled out a packet of Maborough Reds and handed one to Faraday he then took one for himself. Faraday put it to his mouth ready to light it, the doctor went to hand the lighter to him before thinking better of it and lit it for him, he then lit his own. As
Faraday pulled on the cigarette he noticed Bobby struggling towards them with a cigarette of his own.

  “How we doing?” Bobby asked.

  “Fine Bobby we were just getting around to this morning.”

  Bobby glanced down and saw that Faraday didn’t have any laces on his shoes. “So what happened?”

  Faraday noticed that Bobby had calmed down considerably since they had first met and he almost came across as friendly. “Well I started thinking about Jane and I got a bit upset.” He was struggling to get his words out as he felt the pain of losing Jane again. “I locked the door in my room and sat on the edge of the bed. I just wanted it to be over. I saw the deodorant and thought that if I sprayed it all over my clothes I would be able to go up in flames.” The tears started flowing again as Faraday relived the moment. “But nothing fucking happened the clothes never lit up. So I used the deodorant and lighter as a sort of flame thrower. All I did was burn my wrist.” Faraday raised his right arm and gestured to the bandage covering his wrist. Both the Doctor and Bobby nodded sympathetically as he took a draw on his cigarette and then continued. ”All of a sudden the fire alarm went off. So I threw a chair at the window hoping I could break out, but it just bounced back. Then the nurses took me into a room and dressed my wrist, took away my burnt t-shirt, my lighter and then my laces. Then they took me to the room where they give you out your tablets. I don’t know what they gave me probably more diazepam and I went back to my room and watched someone changing my sheets. Then I crawled into bed. When I woke up there was some guy sitting there, I didn’t recognise him and he just asked me if I could kill myself would I try it again. Without thinking I said yes and he told me they were committing me for a month.” After he had told his story they made their way slowly back to his room. Bobby was limping badly. When they arrived at the room the doctor gestured to the pile of books beside the bed. “Have you been managing to read at all?”

  “No I can’t focus on anything. This is the longest conversation I’ve had in weeks and to be honest I’m struggling to remember how it started.” Faraday sighed and he sat back down on the bed. The room still smelt of burnt hair. What had happened to him? When Jane disappeared so did his sanity.

  “Looks like you have a fair few history books there.” Bobby mentioned pointing with his cane.

  “Yeah that’s what I studied at uni, I’ve tried reading them in here but I can’t focus so I mainly look at the photos.”

  “That must be uplifting.” Bobby added sarcastically whilst picking up the book at the top of the pile. “The assassination of JFK” Bobby read aloud.

  The doctor interrupted. “So James tell me, how are the nightmares?”

  Faraday was shocked. “How do you know about them?”

  “You told me James.”

  “Did I?”

  “Yes you told me that you kept returning to the Loch, that there was a bright light and Jane was there?”

  Faraday had never discussed these dreams with anyone before, why had he told a complete stranger about it? “Um, yeah Jane is there and she blames me for what happened. She looks round and swims towards the light, I try to follow but I can’t. Then the light just disappears and I drown in the water.”

  As Faraday looked at Bobby he saw a troubled expression on his face. Once again the doctor took over the conversation. “What do you think they mean James?”

  “Well I guess it’s just because I blame myself right?”

  “Possibly, but what about the light?”

  “Um well the night that it happened there was thunder and lightning.”

  “Yes but didn’t you say that the light was below the water?”

  “Yes why?”

  “Well what if it means you have to follow the light?”

  “But every time I do I drown?”

  “Hmmm well maybe you don’t drown. Maybe it just goes dark. I mean do you actually see yourself drown?”

  “Um I don’t know, I don’t think so.”

  “Well I would suggest that you follow the light James.” With that the doctor rose to his feet and stretched out an arm to shake Faraday’s hand as he accepted the hand shake the doctor spoke. “We will be seeing you soon James, just try not to do any more harm to yourself before then. And don’t give up James we can still fix this.”

  “What do you mean? She’s dead!”

  The doctor nodded solemnly once again. Bobby was staring as if shocked by the words Dr Lewis had chosen. “I’m sorry James I misspoke. I just mean that you still have a lot to live for. Think of your family, imagine if you had been successful today how would they have felt?”

  Faraday was silent. He hadn’t even given a thought as to how they would have reacted and how upsetting it would be for them. To see their only die in such a horrific way was something they may never have recovered from.

  The doctor again broke the silence that had filled the room. “Anyway James time is getting on and I believe your father will be here in a few minutes. But as I said we will see you soon. Keep trying to read your books, distraction can be a wonderful thing.” With that Bobby began to hobble towards the door followed by Dr Lewis.

  “Goodbye Faraday.” said Bobby.

  Chapter 5

  As the darkness began to descend over Scotland, Bobby Stinson and David Lewis sat at the airport bar. David had ordered a pint of Tennents from which he had taken a sip whilst Bobby had ordered himself two glasses of Jack Daniels with ice and a pint of Tennents.

  “You need to watch how much you’re drinking Bobby.”

  “What difference does it make? It helps me sleep and soothes my hip.”

  “I know Bobby but how much more can your liver take! How long have you been drinking like this?”

  “Well I guess the first time I drank to take away the pain was 1865. Knife wounds can be a painful thing!” Bobby winced at the memory. The bastard, what he would have given to kill the son of a bitch himself.

  “I’m sorry Bobby I know you’ve been through a lot. Do you still have the nightmares?”

  “Not when I drink.” Bobby smiled as he took a drink from his second Jack Daniels. “So anyway do you think today will make any difference? The kid was stoned!”

  “I don’t know Bobby but we had to try! We planted the seed, it’s all we could do. Did you put in the bookmark?”

  “Of course I put in the God damned bookmark, but even if he notices what can he do? You can’t change the past, we both know that.” Bobby nodded in the direction of the barman. “Same again please.”

  “Just because we failed Bobby it doesn’t mean that it can’t be done and Faraday is our only chance at doing the right thing”

  “But even then will it be us that are doing the right thing?”

  “I don’t have all the answers Bobby you’ve been doing this a lot longer than I have. As far as I see it I’m finished. I’m too old for this and I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to sleeping when this finally ends. Maybe I’ll even see Sharon again, although I can’t say my faith is what it once was.”

  As the barman appeared with their drinks Bobby gulped down the first Jack Daniels. “How long until the flight?”

  “Still another hour before boarding, then I guess that’s it mission accomplished.”

  “We’ve accomplished fuck all! Faraday was a coward then and he’s a coward now. Without the girl he’ll crack just like he did before! How can we be sure that we haven’t done this already?!”

  “Well he would surely have mentioned it?”

  “When would he have mentioned it? We hardly knew him, how long was he even with us the first time? It was fifty one years ago!” Bobby yelled and then finished his drinks he then gestured towards the barman once more.

  “I think it was around two weeks Bobby, he had plenty of time.”

  “When he arrived you near enough tortured the kid! If you’ll recall you weren’t quite as trusting then as you are now! You accused him of killing the girl! You are the reason he did it David and the
n you go snivelling up to him like you are his best friend in the world!”

  “Bobby I have had to live with that guilt for all these years. I know I did wrong by Faraday, I got emotionally attached to Jane and I wanted to blame someone...anyone!”

  “You didn’t blame him for Jane! You blamed him for Sharon!”

  David had tears in his eyes at the sound of her name. He knew Bobby was right. “Well if this works then perhaps Sharon, Jane and Faraday might get a second chance.”

  “Okay say that he understands what he has to do. He still goes through the pain. We don’t know how it even affected him. I mean look at us, as far as I know me, you and Faraday are the only people to have ever survived and here we sit in completely different circumstances. You’re eighty and awaiting death we both know you probably haven’t got another year in you. I don’t have that problem but believe me I wish I did. People aren’t supposed to live forever!”

  “I know that Bobby, I’ve seen enough bodies in my life. But if we can change what happened back then we can still save Sharon, Faraday and maybe even Jane. We had to try.”

  “We did try and we failed. We both saw what happened to Sharon! We know what happened to Jane. If you had been watching her instead of pummelling Faraday with your fists maybe things could have been different! Kennedy died before my eyes and then Ruby killed Oswald whilst I was standing right next to him! We tried again in 93! And that son of a bitch shot himself because he couldn’t deal with any of it!”

  “You didn’t have to come here Bobby! I wanted to do this. To make things right, we both know you never cared about anyone but yourself!”

  The bastard. Bobby had never allowed anyone to speak to him like that and he wouldn’t start now. He got up off the bar stool. “You’re a son of a bitch, goodbye David”. With that the friends of 54 years went their separate ways and never saw each other again.