The Game of Love

by Heather Graham

  He would, he would, he would…

  He had said that he loved her. She had to believe.

  * * *

  Despite her suggestion to the contrary, Jeff came back with Sean. Sean rattled away about the sleepover, then he and Jeff went outside to throw a ball around while she prepared spaghetti and meatballs.

  To a casual observer, it would have seemed like a pleasant evening, but to Jade, it was miserably tense. Jeff didn’t mention Diana, and neither did Sean. When Jeff went home at ten, however, Jade decided to question her son. She walked to Sean’s doorway and stood there, wondering if he was awake. He was, and she went in to sit down beside him.

  “So the party was nice?”

  “Oh, yeah, it was real nice. We had lots of fun.”

  “Good. Was Ryan happy to see his mother?”

  “Oh, yeah. And is she neat. A knockout!”

  “A knockout?” Jade repeated. Sean wasn’t particularly into girls yet—not unless they had extraordinary prowess with a baseball bat.

  “That’s what Toby called her. She really is neat. Almost as neat as Jeff.”

  Jade felt like chopped liver.

  “Was Ryan upset that his father didn’t go out to dinner with them?”

  “I don’t think so,” Sean said, yawning. “He was too excited to see her.”

  He was falling asleep, so Jade kissed his cheek and left him.

  The rest of her night was even more miserable than the first part. She hated herself for allowing Jeff to put her in such a position. It was pathetic to be so in love with a man, and not know whether she was really the woman he wanted.

  I can’t go on like this….

  I can’t give him up….

  * * *

  On Sunday, she knew that the movers were bringing Jeff’s things to his house. She wondered if Diana was somehow supervising.

  He called her Sunday night, saying that he expected Ryan back in about an hour. He told her that Diana had taken a room at one of the elegant hotels by the Mayfair in the Grove.

  Jade was happy to know that Diana was definitely not staying at Jeff’s house. But she was miserable when she thought about Diana seeing Jeff again in an hour.

  She barely slept that night. The next morning, she had to drag herself into the office.

  Jeff came by at eleven and asked her to lunch. Sandy cheerfully told her to go and to take her time.

  “Where shall we go?” Jeff asked her when they were sitting in the Lincoln. She stared at him and thought that he looked wonderful in his beautifully tailored suit. She wanted to reach out and touch his clean-shaven cheeks. Just looking at him brought back vivid memories of the day before. She heard the echo of her whimpers when he’d made love to her, felt the trembling warmth inside her, the excitement, the fever….

  She looked away, hating herself a little bit for being so weak where he was concerned.

  “I—”

  “What?”

  She turned to him again, feeling unreasonably sad and wistful. “I don’t want lunch. I want to go to your house.”

  Fire leaped to his eyes; his knuckles grazed her cheek tenderly.

  He gunned the Lincoln as if it were a sports car, and they sped down the road.

  She was glad of what she had said. They laughed like guilty children, racing into the house, strewing clothing everywhere and making love. Afterward, they found wine and cheese in the refrigerator and took it back to the bedroom, where they ate and then made love again. Jade didn’t mention Diana; she didn’t want the other woman to be a part of her time with Jeff.

  He didn’t mention her, either, and Jade didn’t feel the doubts again until that night, when she lay in her own bed, alone.

  * * *

  At the baseball field the next day, Jade sat beside Lynn and Miriam Hodges while the kids caught balls out in the field. Jade had always been close to Lynn; she wasn’t really accustomed to baring her soul to Mariam Hodges, but Miriam had been picking up Timmy at Toby’s house when Diana had appeared with Jeff.

  “I don’t know what on earth you’re worried about,” Lynn was saying. “From what I understand, that is one affair that is really over.”

  Jade chewed idly on a piece of grass, shrugging. “Get serious, Lynn. Have you ever seen anyone as beautiful as Diana?”

  “You’re not exactly ugly.”

  Miriam sniffed dramatically. “Lynn! Certainly, Jade is pretty, but come on—it’s like pitting the Ivory Girl against Bo Derek.”

  “Thanks a lot,” Jade grumbled, staring out at the field.

  “Are you in love with him?” Miriam demanded.

  “What’s love?” Jade returned blithely.

  Lynn laughed. “I remember falling in love. It was the greatest thing in the world. First you see someone, and you’re attracted. And it’s as if you sizzle inside every time you see him again. Then it’s lots of little things: the way he combs his hair, his grin, the way his fingers look when they touch your arm, his scent—”

  “And when you’re not in love,” Miriam interrupted, “all those same things become a horror. You don’t remember his cologne, but how awful he smells when he sweats.”

  “Miriam!” Lynn flashed her a glance of annoyance.

  “Well, it’s true,” Miriam persisted stubbornly. “There was this guy I dated for a while. He was gorgeous. I thought I might be falling in love, and then I knew that I wasn’t. He loved anchovies and I hated the smell of them on his breath. He combed his hair for an hour three times a day. The initial attraction had been there, but not the love. He might have been good-looking, but he was affected, too. In the end, I wondered what I was doing with him. Real love is when those little things—endearing or not so endearing—are all special and tolerable because underneath, being together is far more important than anything else.”

  “I can’t imagine Jeff Martin having any not so endearing qualities,” Lynn said.

  But he does, Jade thought. He has an ex-wife who would scare off braver women than I.

  “I definitely think you should keep dating him,” Miriam told her.

  “Oh. Why is that?” Jade queried, smiling dryly. “You’ve just told me I’m going to lose him.”

  “Oh, don’t be huffy, Jade,” Miriam said, an elegant hand waving in the air. “I didn’t say that at all. But even if you do, look at all the good the man has done you already.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He had your car fixed, didn’t he? And look at the monstrous commission you made on the sale of that house. Honey, he’s loaded.”

  “Miriam!” Lynn and Jade protested together.

  Miriam ignored them. “Oh, that’s not all, of course. He’s sexy. Macho. Tender. Clint Eastwood minus fifteen years and a Magnum. But besides that, Jade, you could do all right with him, win or lose.”

  Jade narrowed her eyes. “Miriam, just what are you saying?”

  “Don’t go flying off the handle. Just think what you could get out of him.”

  “You think I should see him for his money?” Jade demanded.

  “Oh, not for his money,” Miriam giggled. “I think you should see him for sexual fulfillment. I would. I’d love to. What’s he like, by the way? The best thing since the hoola-hoop, I’ll bet.”

  “Miriam!”

  “See him for his face, his body, his wink, his smile, his dimples and that great voice. Money is just a side benefit that you could keep in mind. Men love to shower their lovers with gifts; you’ve already gotten a few.”

  Jade suddenly felt a little queasy. Miriam wasn’t trying to hurt her—she was just being Miriam.

  Neither Jade nor Lynn had a chance to reply. Toby’s long legs suddenly appeared before them.

  “What is this? A hen party? You cats baring your claws again?”

  “We weren’t discussing you, dear,” Lynn said sweetly.

  “Hmm. Well, up then! I need a scorekeeper. We’ve got a practice game with the Pitacci Pizzas in about sixty seconds. Our guys are on the bench first. Hup,
hup, ladies—let’s get moving!”

  They all scrambled to their feet. Lynn picked up the score sheets and clipboard; Jade started dispensing paper cups of water to the sweaty little boys lined up on the bench. Jeff was giving them a pep talk.

  “Okay, we all know that Killer Callahan is pitching first for them. And we all know that he’s a little wild. Just stand your ground, and if it’s no good, guys, don’t hit at it. Take the walk. We can beat him, right?”

  “Right!”

  “Okay, let’s play ball!”

  Seconds later, Jeff was standing by to coach at first base. Jade was assigned to keep the kids in batting order. Two of their team went up and struck out. Sean was third up to bat. Jade rooted for him along with the rest of the team, and she couldn’t help smiling when he knocked the ball halfway out of the park and made a home run.

  All the while, she had a problem: her eyes wouldn’t stay away from Jeff. Tanned and trim, looking boyish in jersey and shorts, he watched Sean slide in to home plate.

  “Oh, Ryan, you’re up!” she exclaimed, tearing her eyes away from his father.

  She handed him a bat, and he stepped up to the plate. Killer Callahan sent out two wild pitches. Ryan held his bat steady. She saw him glance at his father, and saw Jeff give him a nod that indicated he was doing darned well.

  But then Killer Callahan wound up for another pitch. This time, Ryan couldn’t sidestep the ball. It hit his thigh with a sickening sound. Ryan screamed and fell down.

  Don’t run immediately, don’t run immediately…. Lynn had always warned her not to make too big a thing of little injuries.

  But she had heard the sound of the ball; she had heard the sound of Ryan’s cry.

  Jeff was far away. She was right there behind the fence.

  “Don’t—” Lynn began behind her, but then Ryan screamed again.

  “Go,” Lynn told her.

  She didn’t need the command. She was already racing around the fence. When she reached Ryan, she fell on her knees, her heart pounding in a fury as she put an arm around his quivering shoulders.

  CHAPTER 9

  Toby was already there, standing over Ryan. Jeff was running in from the field. All that Jade saw was Ryan.

  Something special happened between the two of them. Ryan looked into her eyes and slipped his arms around her shoulders, burying his face against her neck. She held him while Toby asked the questions.

  “It hit your thigh?”

  Ryan nodded against her. Someone was saying that the pitch had been frightfully hard; someone else mumbled that his leg could be broken. By then Toby was carefully probing Ryan’s thigh, and assuring everyone that it wasn’t broken.

  “You’re going to have a bruise, a heck of a bruise, buddy,” Toby told him.

  “Let’s get some ice, huh, Ryan?” Jade said. He nodded, still keeping his face against her shoulder. He was nine years old, and nine-year-olds tried very hard not to cry. But almost every kid there had been hit by a stray pitch somewhere along the line, and there wasn’t one of them who was going to give a wounded teammate anything but sympathy. Jade knew it, but she wasn’t sure if Ryan did. “Come on, lean on me.”

  A hand fell on her shoulder as she struggled to rise. “I’ve got him. I’ll take care of him,” she said.

  “He, uh, is my son, you know,” Jeff said easily from behind her. His eyes met hers with a tenderness and understanding that warmed her all over.

  “You okay, son?” Jeff asked Ryan, picking him up and carrying him off the field with Jade following. Lynn and Miriam ran up, and Jade went to the cooler to make an ice pack.

  When she returned, Jeffrey had put Ryan down on the ground and was checking the rising lump on his thigh. “It’s going to be black and blue for weeks. How are you doing?”

  “Okay,” Ryan said. His tears had dried; he was looking at his father for assurance, and Jeff was giving him just that.

  “Toby told me that last year Killer Callahan hit every kid on the team. He must have known he missed you and had to get one in.”

  Jade knelt down silently, and put the ice pack on Ryan’s leg. “You’d better go back to the game, Dad,” Ryan told him.

  “You’ll be okay?”

  “Jade is with me. Go back, Dad.”

  “Yeah, Jade is with you. I guess I’ll go back,” Jeff said. He winked at Ryan, then left his son and Jade together.

  Jade looked up just in time to see the little boy’s eyes following his father. Then he sighed.

  “Does it still hurt?” Jade asked him.

  “Just a little.”

  “It will last awhile, but it won’t be that bad,” Jade said. She smiled. “Callahan got Sean on the thumb last year. Sean lost the nail.”

  “I’ll bet he didn’t cry,” Ryan said wistfully.

  Jade laughed. “Wrong. He bellowed like a bull.”

  Ryan laughed, and she saw the same warmth in the child’s eyes as she did in the father’s. Oh, you Martins! she thought. Both blue-eyed heartbreakers!

  But then he looked away from her. “Sean is so good, though. I should be good—my father was great.”

  Jade hesitated just a second. “Ryan, people have different interests. You know your dad is going to be proud of anything that you choose to do. You don’t have to play baseball because of him.”

  “Oh, but I want to play. I really do! I just wish that I were better at it.”

  “Well, then you keep working at it, and you will be,” Jade promised.

  “I will!” Ryan said enthusiastically. “I will.” He flushed a little. “Do you think the ice has been on long enough?”

  Jade lowered her eyes. Ryan had just become aware that his underwear was showing.

  “Sure.”

  She moved the pack from his thigh, dumped the ice, and wrung out the towel. She scrambled to her feet and offered him a hand. He took it. When he stood, he slipped an arm around her for balance. She felt very close to him as she helped him slowly limp back to the field.

  The game was just ending. The boys were all cheering and throwing their caps in the air—Toby’s team had taken the game. Every one of them came running up to see how Ryan was doing; they were all shouting their own war stories about being hit at various times. Ryan flushed with pleasure at the attention. He still held tightly to Jade until his father appeared, and then he went happily into Jeffrey’s arms.

  “How’re you doing, sport?” Toby asked him, flipping his cap over his eyes. “Not afraid now, are you?”

  “No, sir,” Ryan said.

  Jade, who had been watching Ryan, suddenly realized that Jeff was looking at her with approval and something more. She didn’t quite understand the look in his eyes; she only knew that she basked in it, as eager as Ryan for his approval.

  “Hey! A Maserati!” one of the kids called out, suddenly.

  Jade didn’t understand the significance of those words at first. She didn’t think anything of them. But suddenly Ryan was stiffening in his father’s arms.

  “Mom!” he called out joyously, wiggling to escape his father’s hold. Jade stared at the street where Diana was just stepping out of a parked Maserati. Ryan—barely limping at all in his eagerness—was already racing toward her.

  “Damn her,” Jeffrey breathed.

  Jade looked at him quickly. His features were tense with anger and exasperation.

  Jade felt sick. “Why?” she said suddenly, angrily. “Why, if your relationship is really over, is she always where you are?”

  “What do you expect me to do?” he asked angrily. “Tell her she can’t come to practice, can’t see her son? I’d alienate him completely. And I told you—I’ve no right to keep her out of the state.”

  Everyone had drifted off the field by then, and Jeffrey stalked off after Ryan. Jade clenched her teeth and followed.

  All the boys were hovering around Ryan and Diana, and Jade quickly discovered why. Diana had invited all the kids out for ice cream and had included their parents in the invitation, too. S
he laughed and spoke easily with Toby, Lynn and Miriam. Then she saw Jade.

  “Ms. McLane, how nice to see you again. You’ll come, won’t you, you and Sean? For ice cream? After all, the team just won its first game.”

  Once again, Diana looked like a fashion plate. She wore a form-hugging red knit dress, and her pitch-black hair fanned out sleekly over her shoulders. The whole pack of little nine-year-olds seemed as infatuated with her as their fathers.

  “I don’t think so, thank you,” Jade said.

  “Mom!” Sean whispered miserably, pulling her hand. She couldn’t blame him. It appeared that all the other kids were going.

  “I’ve had a long day, Sean—” she began, but Jeffrey was suddenly behind her, his hands tight on her shoulders.

  “Let him go. I’ll bring him home.”

  He wasn’t going to try to convince her to go with them. Jade wasn’t sure if she was resentful or glad.

  “All right,” she said.

  “Dad!” Ryan called out. “I’ll ride with Mom!”

  “Sure. You should thank Jade, though.”

  Ryan looked at Jade, and the gaze he gave her was startling in its resentment. It was so different from the way he had looked at her before. The bond was gone, gone completely. She might have been the Wicked Witch of the West.

  “Thank you,” he said stiffly, and then he disappeared into his mother’s Maserati.

  “I’ll wring his neck,” Jeff muttered.

  “No.” Jade spun around. “You won’t say a word to him. Jeffrey, I mean it.”

  He shrugged; she didn’t know if she had won her point or not. “Sean, let’s go.” He gazed at Jade grimly. “We’ll be back soon.”

  While everyone else went for ice cream Jade went home and poured herself a huge glass of wine. She took a shower and then poured herself another huge glass of wine and paced the living room floor.

  By the time Jeff reached the house, Jade was in no mood to see him. He had left Ryan in the car, so he gave her a quick kiss and turned to leave as soon as Sean had run into his bedroom. “I’ll call you,” he said.

  “Don’t bother. Not until you’ve got your past straightened out.”

  “Jade, do you know what you sound like?” he asked, coming back in. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”