Kemamonit Undercover

by Paul Edwards

  Chapter Three

  The next morning Jack, Frank and I met in Frank's office, I pulled the enormous wad of paper I had been working on the day before out of my bag and set it on Frank's desk.

  "I did some research on ancient spells," I said.

  "You don't have a soft copy?" Frank asked cautiously.

  "It'd be nice... but translating stuff is a hands on thing," I said haughtily.

  "Oh... of course... no problem..." Frank said apologetically.

  I started to wonder how badly I could treat these two and still have them be infatuated with me, I felt my curiosity start to do battle with my conscience.

  "These are all I could find, they're all pre-roman," I said.

  I had collected all these spells from my library in the City of Magic, they were mostly mundane funerary spell's.

  I was struck with how similar they were to each other and how closely they mimicked the symptoms of two different mental illnesses.

  The first was paranoia, in these spells the subject wanted protection from every single possible thing that could happen in the afterlife, the second was obsessive compulsive behaviour, in these the intent of the spell and the identity of the person it was written for was described in excruciating detail over and over.

  It was no surprise to me, virtually all of these spells were written for Kings and other noble persons, paranoia and a meticulous attention to detail were probably necessary personality traits a callous and megalomaniacal leader needed to survive.

  "Seven loaves and seven loaves for the lord of the two lands, overseer of all, beloved of Osiris, maker of all that is good, magnificent and great.... this is a spell?" Jack said as he started reading one of the pages.

  "Noble persons almost always use their full titles, you'll figure out the important stuff after reading a few of them, if there is any," I said sceptically.

  "I was doing some other research," Jack held up a book, the cover had a picture of a bespectacled young boy on it, "maybe we should be testing potions too."

  "How would we test them," I asked.

  "We could make them and feed them to lab animals."

  A picture of a suffering white mouse suddenly popped into my mind.

  "Um... I'm kinda conflicted about the whole animal testing thing," I said.

  "Maybe we could use undergraduates... tell them it's booze," both Frank and Jack started laughing uproariously.

  "Let's concentrate on spells first," I said.

  The three of us each grabbed a sheaf of paper from the stack and started going through the spells trying to find something useful.

  I put down my sheaf after a few minutes of study and stood up.

  "I need a large cup of coffee... I'm going to the coffee shop, do you guys want one?" I said.

  They both said yes.

  I made sure I took a good forty-five minutes to get the coffee's, I wanted the two of them to have lots of time to do a preliminary search of the pile of spells.

  I needed them to find at least one of my little traps.

  "Sorry I took so long, huge lineup," I said as I put the tray of cups on the desk."

  "Oh... cream and sugar... that's all right..." Frank said as he looked at the markings on the cups lids.

  "Oh... darn... you guys wanted black... sorry," I said.

  I had asked the person at the shop to put six spoons of sugar in each cup, my curiosity had started to gain a slight advantage over my conscience.

  Frank took a sip of his coffee, I could see him suppress a grimace as the syrupy liquid passed over his tongue.

  "Um... good coffee..." he said.

  Not to be outdone Jack took an even larger sip from his own cup.

  "We might have found something," Jack said as he handed me a sheet of paper.

  I took the paper and looked at it, I started to read it out loud.

  "I created the light

  the light was created

  the wood of the palm tree

  its heart in darkness

  opened in the full moon

  a square two fingers a side

  I said the word

  the word was hippopotamus

  the light appeared"

  "What does it mean?" I said, trying to look confused.

  "We think it might mean, cutting open a palm tree in the full moon, then making a cube of wood from the center two fingers square, then saying the word hippopotamus," Jack said.

  "That's as good as anything... I guess...what now?" I said.

  "Well... we're in California... lots of palm trees, and it's a full moon tonight."

  "Let's keep searching the spells... if there are anymore we can do them all at once, get it over with," I said, trying to convey the impression that I thought this was a waste of time.

  We spent the next three hours going through the rest of the spell's, Frank and Jack were quite quick at skimming the pages and eventually found the other two spells I had planted.

  "Listen to this," Jack started to read aloud.

  I was thirsty

  Ra was hot and fierce

  I held my cup

  I put in a pinch of sand

  I put in a pinch of natron

  I shook the cup

  I uttered the words Osiris is great

  My cup flowed with water

  Frank found and read the last one about twenty minutes later.

  I created gold

  I put down a grain of copper

  I put down a grain of lead

  I melted the wax

  It fell on the grains

  I clapped my hands together

  "The philosopher's stone, gold from lead," Frank said.

  "Oh ya... we're gonna be rich," I said sarcastically.

  "Believe it or not we have all these materials, we could try these spells tonight," Jack said.

  "You have natron?" I asked incredulously.

  "Someone was doing experiments on mummification a few years ago, there's a bag of it in one of the storage rooms," Jack said.

  "Ok... then how about seven-thirty, the sun should have set by then."

  The two of them both agreed.

  I grabbed my bag and went back to my office.

  I was sitting at my desk playing solitaire on my computer when my phone range, it was almost four o'clock. I furrowed my brows as I wondered who could be calling me, I had told no-one that I was here, not even Shelley my former apprentice.

  I wanted to make sure my cover was as airtight as possible.

  I picked up the receiver, "Hello," I said suspiciously.

  "Is this Kemberly?"

  "Yes."

  "It's Peter, Peter Plotski."

  "Oh... hi," I said as I recognized his voice.

  "Thought you might like a tour of my factory tomorrow... um... if your available."

  I thought I could hear a tinge of nervousness in his voice, he was probably not used to dealing with an organization like Rand I thought to myself.

  "Sure... what time?"

  "Um... I'll pick you up at four o'clock."

  "Ok, I'll meet you in the lobby."

  With that we both said goodbye.

  I stared at the phone for a few seconds, I better tell Janet, I thought, her office was only a few feet down the hall from mine.

  I was soon standing in her open door knocking lightly.

  "Kem come in, sit down."

  I sat on one of the chairs in front of her desk."

  "Plotski called... he wants me to see his factory."

  Janet's head perked up suddenly, "really?"

  "Ya, tomorrow at four o'clock."

  Janet stood up and then walked behind me, she put both her hands on my shoulders and started massaging them.

  "Good... four o'clock that's kinda late... probably has idea's..."

  I felt like a fighter being coached by his corner man.

  "Make sure you ask a lot of questions... don't be too prying... and if stuff happens... you know, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do... no
body's business right... no need to put it in your report."

  "Um... ok."

  Janet went back to her desk and opened up a drawer, she picked up a smart phone and then tossed it to me.

  "Keep that, it's got a GPS tracker in it. It's always on and almost indestructible, it'll work even if the batteries gone ant the phone is smashed. Do you want a gun?"

  "God no... they terrify me," I said.

  "Ok..."

  Janet put her index finger against her lower lip as she thought, she reached into her desk drawer again and then tossed me a perfume bottle.

  "It's basically high tech mace, just point and spray, guy'll go unconscious if you use enough."

  I cautiously put the bottle in my pocket.

  "Make sure you call my cell phone when you come home tomorrow night, even if its late."

  Janet patted my bum as I left her office causing me to jump a bit. I had seen this ritual when flipping channels on my TV and accidently stopping on a sports channel. I guess I had come off the bench and into the game.