Miss Hargreaves

by Frank Baker

  Miss Hargreaves

  A Novel

  Frank Baker

  NEW YORK • BERLIN • LONDON

  ‘Creative thought creates . . .’

  (FROM THE POSTCARD

  BY A.F.W.)

  Over the sea to Skye . . .

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Prologue

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  A Note on the Author

  Postscript

  The Lay of the Last Cricket

  A Small Thing

  The Ferry

  Evensong in Advent

  A Friend for Tea

  Sonnet to My Bath

  Doctor Pepusch

  Triolet: Early to Ely

  Imprint

  To

  Jimmy

  without whom it could not have happened

  NOTE

  The correct pronunciation of her name is, of course, ‘Hargrayves’. Astonishing as it must seem, there exist people who refer to her as Miss ‘Hargreeves’. Doubtless they belong to the ranks of those who ‘Macleen’ their teeth.

  F.B.

  PROLOGUE

  ‘MISS HARGREAVES —’ I murmured. ‘Miss Hargreaves?’ I leant over the rail and looked into the darkness of the Irish Sea. It was night. The lights of our boat were the only lights upon the black water. No answer came from the sea as I murmured that name. And yet, it seemed to me that very faintly in the cold December air, in the wind, I could hear the sighing of my own name. ‘Norman–Norman–Norman–’

  Nine years have passed since that night, the night which saw the end of a great adventure. I wrote an account of it all and kept it locked up, showing it to nobody but Henry, Marjorie and my father. In those days I was a lay-clerk in the choir of Cornford Cathedral, and I used to study the organ under Dr Carless. I was, and I dare say I still am, in every way but one, a perfectly ordinary sort of a fellow. You want to know in what particular way I differ from other people? You must read this book to find that out. Were you to look at me, you’d say there was nothing exceptional about me; merely Norman Huntley, who used to live at 38 London Road, Cornford, with his parents and his sister Jim. Thirty-two I am now, and possibly a little wiser than the youth who leant over the rail of the Belfast boat that December night, murmuring a lost name upon the wind.

  A lost name . . . a lost name. But, maybe, you are one of those who remember? I don’t live in Cornford now. I run a bookshop in the West of England. I’m not going to be more definite than that: I went there to get away from publicity and I don’t want any more of it. Marjorie, my wife, often hears from her parents, and my mother also writes to give me the Cornford news. I have her last letter before me:

  ‘ . . . people still talk about Miss Hargreaves and some of them are silly enough to believe she must have been something to do with the I.R.A. What an extraordinary business it all was and how I do wish, dear boy, you would tell us what you really know. A shadow comes over me whenever I think of her. I can never quite get over your having to leave the town as you did — though, as you know, dear, nothing would even make me begin to believe the wicked things they said about you. I happened to meet the Dean in the shop the other day and he asked quite kindly about you. Think he would really like you to come back. Why don’t you write to him? It all happened so long ago now. . .’

  Go back? Back to Cornford? Yes, I want to go back to that lovely cathedral, back to the Thames meadows where Henry and I went fishing as boys. But can I bear, even now, to face it?

  I remember the last occasion I was in Cornford Cathedral. The Dean had most politely suggested it would be better for me to resign–meaning it would be better for the Cathedral and him. Too much was being said about me, and although the police could never prove a thing (there was no body, of course) suspicion fastened on me as closely as lichen to an old apple tree.

  My bags were all packed; I was glad to go. On my last morning, before breakfast, as had been my habit, I went to the Cathedral, there for the last time to play the organ. I went through the Bach B Minor Fantasia, but it sounded empty to me. Stricken by a sense of the unrecoverable past, I played a movement of a Mendelssohn sonata, increasing my registration to full organ at the end. Raising my hands from the keys sharply, I listened to the sound chasing itself in and out of the nave; I half hoped that, as the sound died away, I should hear a voice crying from below, ‘Bravo! Oh, bravo, Norman!’

  But there was no voice. I came down from the loft, went along the nave, unlocked the west door to the roof and climbed up, hardly knowing what I wanted to do. Slowly I traced my steps over the narrow plankway. Like great beeskeps the domes over the nave arches rose up in a long chain before me. It was cold. Everything shrouded in a green, gloomy light. I stood there for a few minutes, half afraid. I wanted to call her name. But my tongue was dry; I could make no sound.

  That day I left Cornford and came to live in the West. The town of my youth, of my birth, had become unbearable to me; in all these years I have never once revisited it.

  Perhaps I shall go back now. Her name is dying to a legend. Soon, for memory is fickle, she will be forgotten.

  Forgotten? But that, too, is unbearable. Shall it be said of her, ‘but some there be that have no memorial’? Not while I am alive.

  So I offer the reader this account of a mystery which he may remember if he reads his newspapers. It was written years ago, part of it in Ulster, and reading through it now I see no reason to alter much of it. I offer these pages solely as a memorial to a person I loved. Let the reader call me a liar; let him examine my family history for signs of queerness; I am prepared for that.

  All that I ask of him is this: that if I chance to meet him in any house where toasts are drunk, he will raise his glass with me and say:

  ‘God bless Miss Hargreaves!’

  1

  WHEN I wrote essays at school I was always told to begin at the beginning and end at the end. I’m not at all sure that this story has an end. As for a beginning–well, in my opinion it really begins–as I began–with my father. Anyway that’s where I’m going to start.

  Let me introduce you to him. Cornelius Huntley, rather a speciality of Cornford in every way. He runs a bookshop in the town. If you know the place you’re almost certain to know number 17 Wells Street, the little street branching off from the old market hall in Disraeli Square.

  Huntley’s bookshop is as well known as the Cathedral. Most days I work there with father, except when I’m studying music. We sell everything, modern and old, any language you like. Though I say it myself, Cornelius Huntley knows a good deal more about books than you’d imagine from his rather muddled talk.

  At this point I think Henry comes in. Henry Beddow is my oldest friend; at school together, and so on. He’s my age, but he’s much more of a lad than I am. Dark hair and eyes, fine teeth, and a swaggering sort of style that could get him into Buckingham Palace. A fine footballer and swimmer. I never was any good at football. I once made a phenomenal effort and scored a goal; unfortunately it was at the wrong end of the field. Rather embarrassing.

  The real link between Henry and me is that we both have a pretty fanciful imagination. We like to use it, too. I’ll tell you a story about that, which seems to me to have a bearing on the future, though I don’t want to turn this book into an autobiography.

  When we were kids, Henry and I were sent off to Cathedral together on Sunday mornings. Our parents used to go in the evenings. Well, after a bit we got tired of spending this hour and a half in Cathedral on fine summer mornings. One Sunday they were doing the Li
tany we cut, and spent the time fishing for eels. While we fished we made up the sermon, knowing we should be asked what it was about, as we always were.

  ‘So long as we’ve got a good text,’ remarked Henry, ‘they won’t bother much about the rest. They always want to know the text.’

  I thought. Then suddenly I said, ‘What about “They also serve who only stand and wait”?’

  ‘Spiffing!’ said Henry.

  ‘I don’t know where it comes from,’ I said.

  ‘Say Isaiah,’ suggested Henry. ‘All the bits people remember come from Isaiah.’

  Well, apart from father suggesting it was queer to choose a text from Wordsworth, it went down like a lozenge. The queer thing is this. The following Sunday we went to Matins because it was raining and there didn’t seem anything else much to do. Believe me or not, but Canon Mercer–who was rather what they’d call a Modernist–did actually preach a sermon on that text. I don’t know which was the worse shock: hearing our yarn actually come true or realizing we’d credited the Bible with a line of Milton’s.

  Later, partly because I wanted to point out that he’d been wrong about Wordsworth, I owned up to father. He said a very queer thing. ‘Always be careful, my boy, what you make up. Life’s more full of things made up on the Spur of the Moment than most people realize. Beware of the Spur of the Moment. It may turn and rend you.’

  I often think father’s warning only spurred me on to fresh and more daring inventions. At any rate I got into the habit of making up stories, sometimes inventing people I’d never met or heard of, simply for the fun of doing it. Henry was generally my accomplice; he lacked initiative himself but he was always very good at developing my themes. One occasion I made up an ancestor called Dr Philip Hayes; he was, I said, the fattest organist at Oxford University who wrote anthems and kept does. Later on they did an anthem of his at the Cathedral. Funny thing is, I really can’t remember now whether the old boy is an ancestor of mine or not.

  Call me a raging liar if you like, although it’s an actual fact that I’ve never lied in order to get out of things so much as to get into things. Sometimes I think all those books in father’s shop led me astray. Books do lead you on. I mean, look at father. If any man revels in the intoxication of the Spur more than he does, I should like to meet him. I shouldn’t like to say how many times I’ve heard him talking to customers about places he’s never visited, and he’s developed a really amazing flair for finding out first whether they’ve been there. I’ve heard him talking expansively about the West Indies, Mount Everest (not the top; he was careful to halt at about 15,000 feet), Finland, the Amazon and the Eiffel Tower. Actually, he was born in Cornford and never went farther east than London (I think he climbed the Monument), south than the Channel Islands, west than Plymouth. He never went north at all.

  That’s father, and I suppose I inherit something from him.

  Like me, Henry works in his father’s business, a big garage and motor mechanic in the High Street. He’s learning the business from the bottom, his father being a believer in not missing out any rungs in the ladder, and so on. ‘No royal road to success,’ he’s always saying.

  Last August Henry asked me if I’d like to go to Ulster with him. A cousin of his had offered to lend him his house and car for a month.

  ‘There’s an old witch who keeps house for him, and of course it’s topping country, mountains and things. What do you say? The bus is a Hillman.’

  Of course I said yes. We went.

  Lusk, where Cousin Bill lives, is only a street, very wide, like most of those Irish villages, two rows of houses, four shops, a church and a pub–not open on Sundays unless you know the local password. We were really miles from anywhere.

  The house lay in a valley with a river quite near and cornfields all round. There were white turkeys, a monkey-puzzle tree and quite a lot of gravel in the garden. Not much furniture in the house; it smelt rather of oil-lamps and dogs. Cousin Bill’s housekeeper had a room in the back somewhere; in bed when we arrived and didn’t seem to know who we were for some time. She was very old, with teeth that strayed about, and a high-pitched, fluty sort of voice. There was no food in the house except mustard-coloured bread, home-made, which tasted sour.

  I’m not going to tell you much about the holiday except to say it was a grand month and we enjoyed every bit of it even though it rained much of the time. We went miles in the car, swam in the river, messed about in an old tub of a boat belonging to a farmer; and we spent a good many evenings in the hotel at Dungannon, drinking Irish whiskey and flirting with a cheeky girl Henry rather fell for. We climbed the Mourne Mountains and sang the right song on the top, though we couldn’t remember the words.

  For some reason we hardly ever stopped to look at Lusk itself. Henry had dismissed it in a minute, ‘A one-eyed place.’ I must say, it did seem to look at you sideways. But on our last evening we suddenly decided we’d treated it rather unfairly.

  For once, instead of using the car, we’d been walking all day. About seven in the evening we turned back into Lusk on our way home. We were just passing the church, an ugly flint building with a savage-looking square tower, when Henry said:

  ‘I think we ought to look into the church. There might be some brasses worth seeing.’

  ‘I hate brasses,’ I said, ‘but still, I see your point.’

  ‘We ought just to see what it’s like.’

  ‘I can see,’ I said.

  ‘There might be something interesting inside,’ said Henry obstinately.

  The sky had blackened over and it was beginning to rain.

  ‘We might as well shelter there as anywhere else,’ added Henry. ‘Come on. Don’t look so gloomy.’

  ‘I hate Lusk,’ I complained. ‘I feel it’s got its knife into us somehow.’

  And really, you know, I couldn’t help feeling it was haunted by something, particularly just then, with that great black cloud hanging over it, not one single person in the senselessly wide street, rows of slaty houses, a butcher’s shop with only a chopper in the window, and an immense oak tree bang in the middle of the road, penned in by iron railings as though to prevent it from straying. I couldn’t see what business it had there at all.

  Well, before we could say any more, the rain began to pour down, so I ran after Henry up the gravel drive to the west porch.

  ‘Damn,’ said Henry. ‘Place is locked.’

  ‘Oh, well,’ I said happily, ‘that settles that.’ I don’t know why, but I was growing more and more reluctant to go into the church. ‘Let’s wait here,’ I suggested, ‘till the rain stops, then go home, take the car to Dungannon and have a last binge at the County Hotel.’

  Here Henry’s obstinacy comes in.

  ‘One of the other doors might be open,’ he said. He darted round the tower and I heard him rattling the handle of the north door. ‘No good,’ he complained when he came back. ‘I reckon they ought to be ashamed of themselves, locking churches.’

  ‘Why shouldn’t they lock them?’

  ‘Well, look how inconvenient it is for people wanting to shelter from the rain. Besides, it’s bad for religion, definitely bad.’

  Actually, the rain was easing off a bit by now.

  ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘we’d better get back before another shower.’

  ‘No,’ said Henry. ‘I don’t see why they should lock us out of this horrible building, I’m damned if I do.’

  ‘It’s not your church,’ I argued.

  ‘It’s everybody’s church,’ maintained Henry.

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s Ireland’s church. It says so on the board.’

  ‘Well, we’re in Ireland, aren’t we? I’m going to see if I can get the key.’

  We were just brewing up to a proper row when a man came round the corner with a broom and a wheelbarrow. He looked disappointed, but perhaps it was only his squint. You felt he craved for admiration; very lonely face it was. He was wearing a green baize apron and he had a grave-digging manner. I me
an, he gazed at you obviously relating you to the earth and wondering how you’d fit.

  ‘Are you the sexton?’ asked Henry.

  Yes, he was. Did the gentlemen wish to see the church? There was a pleading quality in his voice. I don’t suppose that once in a century anybody had ever wanted to see anything more of Lusk church than they could see from the street.

  ‘That’s exactly what we are wanting,’ said Henry.

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ I muttered, looking gloomily at the dead leaves in the barrow. I felt disconsolate. There was a woebegone air over everything; end-of-holiday feeling.

  ‘My friend,’ remarked Henry, with disgusting brightness, ‘is very interested in old churches.’

  It was amazing how quickly that sexton cheered up, smiling hideously at me as though he had discovered an old friend.

  ‘You have come,’ he said, ‘to the right place. For this is a very old church, dedicated by the Bishop of Armagh in 1863. Before I was born.’

  From somewhere about him, under the apron, he produced a colossal key. Unlocking the door, he threw it open with a flourish of triumph. Inside the porch he almost feverishly dragged apart some heavy red curtains, alive with dust and sooty fleurs-de-lis. Hurling himself on an inner door, he flung out an arm and, like a conjurer producing a rabbit, invited our inspection and admiration.

  We went inside.

  ‘My God!’ I said.

  ‘Kindly remember where you are, Norman,’ said Henry.

  I will say this about Lusk church: it was bad enough to be reasonably funny, which was something.

  Squint, before we could turn back, seized our arms and dragged us down the nave, rapturously commenting upon the treasures of which he was guardian.

  ‘We are very proud of our beautiful pews, very handsome pieces of wood, I will say.’

  I touched one and shivered. They were made of fumed oak and they had doors with rusty bolts to them. Very tall they were; you felt there ought to be hay in them. I looked up to the galleries. Apart from the usual cleaner’s brooms and pails the only curiosity was a stack of card-tables piled in one corner. I turned to the chancel, hoping to find something–however slight–that I could praise. But it was worse up there. Seaweed-green altar frontal; dead flowers; lichenous-looking brass candlesticks; pitch-pine organ with a pyramid of dumb pipes soaring over a candle-greased console; ‘Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus’, splashed in chrome Gothic lettering over the choir walls; mural cherubim reminding you of cottonwool chicks from Easter eggs; very stained glass; tattered hymn-books, tattered hassocks–it was a horrible church. But there were, mercifully, two redeeming features: those were the dust-sheets spread over lectern and pulpit. Somehow you felt a little safer with those dust-sheets.