by C T Rhames
“No.”
“You do.”
He eyed me for a long minute, then walked slowly around me. He stopped behind me and undid my bra, but let me continue holding it up. Then he pulled off his own shirt and pulled me back against his chest, digging his fingers into my hips and pulling me back against him.
“You’re not hard,” I remarked, surprised.
“Hmm,” was all he said and then he slid his hands up under my crossed arms and under my bra that was being held to my chest by my hands. His fingers found my nipples and he pinched them hard enough to make me yelp and drop the bra.
Then he was rolling and twisting them, pulling my nipples out from my body and pinching, then letting them go. I couldn’t stay upright with the riot of sensations pouring through my body. As he tortured my breasts, he nuzzled the hair out of the way and sank his teeth into the back of my neck, biting hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. That’s when I felt him start to harden against my ass.
“Is this what you want?” I asked, breathlessly. “You need to hurt me to get turned on.”
He growled into my neck and raked his teeth over my shoulder. Then he dropped to his knees, pulling my pants and panties down at the same time. I bent over to brace myself on the bed while I stepped out of the clothes and when I went to stand up, he put a hand on my back and bent me back over.
“You want to know what I need?” He rasped. “I’ll show you. But you can’t wimp out. You can’t stop.”
“Okay.” I twisted my head to look at him. “I want to know.”
He had his belt in his hands again and this time he didn’t double it over. He started with soft taps across my buttocks and then gave me a hard whip with the belt across my back. I cried out from the pain and then he rubbed the welt that had sprung up.
Lash after lash fell on my back, my ass, my legs. The heat from the wounds burned straight to my pussy and turned me on more than he had ever turned me on before. I was gasping for breath and pushing back against his jean-clad erection when he took it in a completely different direction.
Picking me up, he threw me onto the bed and then grabbed one of my fabric scarves and tied it around my wrist. I didn’t say a word as he bound my hands over my head, tying them to the bedframe.
“You wanted to know,” he snarled. “This is what I really want.”
Ethan grabbed my panties, balled them up and shoved them in my mouth, stopping me from crying out as he blindfolded me with a t-shirt.
This was his secret? He liked to tie girls up? I smiled around the panties stuffed in my mouth, tasting myself on them and then groaned as he shoved his fingers roughly inside me. Even as he caused pain, he was giving me pleasure.
I whimpered as he pushed my legs up against my shoulders, stretching them beyond what was comfortable. He leaned his weight on my thighs and dipped his head to my breasts, biting one nipple while he twisted and pinched the other.
In my darkness, I was completely tuned into his every movement. The rustle of his jeans coming off, the sensation of skin on skin as his dick pressed against my thigh and his breath hot on my neck.
Teeth scraping against my collarbone. Fingers digging inside me, finding my most sensitive point. Fingers twisting nipples, then my clit, and back to nipples again.
The sensations were too much and I was breathing heavily through my nose. I could feel Ethan’s hot breath against my neck and then he ran his tongue over my scar.
Suddenly, he pulled away, leaving my aching legs to flop back down on the bed. I twisted, trying to maintain the contact, but he was out of the room. I heard his feet on the steps, going down to the kitchen and for a brief moment of panic, I wondered if I was going to be left naked and tied up for someone else to find.
His footsteps returned and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Fingers roughly dug the panties out of my dry mouth and his naked body pressed over mine, crushing me into the bed.
“Tell me what he did to you.” His voice was coarse in my ear.
“No . . .”
“Tell me and I will erase every touch he ever laid on you.”
“I can’t.”
“Who was he?”
“My stepfather.” I bit my lip. I should never have said anything about this. No one knew. No one alive, that is. The last person I’d told was dead.
“Did he kiss you?”
“No.” The word sounded bitter.
“Good, this is mine.” He took my mouth brutally, ravaging me with his tongue, his teeth rasping against my lips and bruising them. I tilted my head up to him, eager for more. But he pulled away.
“Did he touch your breasts?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
Ethan grabbed my breasts in both hands. They were small enough he could easily grip them. “Did he suckle your nipples?”
“Sometimes.”
“Mine,” he growled, taking each nipple in turn and sucking it so hard I felt I might explode. He crushed my breasts in his hands, kneading them with a force that my stepfather had never tried with me. It made me even wetter.
“Where else?”
“He . . . .” I hesitated, not ready to admit it all.
“Did he fuck you?”
“He made ‘love’ to me,” I spat out. The words disgusted me. “He called me his good girl.”
Ethan stopped for a moment and I heard something crinkle. He shifted awkwardly and then I felt him position himself against my entrance. “I’m going to fuck you. Not make love, but fuck. And you’re going to call my name, not his.”
I nodded mutely, wishing I could see his eyes. He plunged into me so fast and hard that it took my breath away and continued to plow into me harder and harder. My body jerked against the restraints as he pounded into me. I was wet, but it wasn’t until he pressed my legs up and moved even deeper into me while pinching my nipples that the pleasure really started.
Then he dug his fingers between us and pinched my clit. I rocked off the bed as my second ever orgasm rolled through me. My pussy clenched again and again around his cock, but he stayed still and let me finish before he resumed his fucking.
“Did he ever take you like this?” Ethan snarled in my ear.
“No,” I gasped.
“Good.”
He pulled out of me suddenly and the sensation of being so filled and then empty made me whimper.
Ethan spread my legs. “You told me what happened. Now you see what I need.”
There was a smack and a searing pain blazed through my inner thigh and up into my stomach. I cried out, but he was already bringing the wooden spatula down on my other thigh, so close to my pussy, I could feel the air as it swished toward me.
Unlike the other times when he’d spaced the blows out, Ethan didn’t stop raining the hits on me, moving ever closer to my core. When he brought the spatula down on my clit and pussy lips, I screamed, but it also burned me to the core. One more smack and I tipped over the brink into another orgasm.
He was in me in a second, riding out my orgasm by plunging in and out harder and harder. His hips slammed into my already bruised body and as my orgasm began to fade, he sank those sharp teeth into my shoulder and held on tight, bucking out his own orgasm that set off yet another in me. We writhed together in painful pleasure until the waves subsided and we lay spent on the bed.
Ethan slowly pulled out of me and ripped the blindfold off. He stood there, looking at me with a vulnerability that I’d never seen in him before.
“That was fucking amazing,” I croaked, my throat complete dry and raspy from screaming out.
Relief flooded his face and he sank down beside me, dropping the used condom into the garbage bin. “You weren’t scared off.”
“No.” I flexed my hands. “But I do need to pee and my hands are going numb.”
He grinned and untied me. I could barely walk on the way to the bathroom, everything was stiff, sore, and aching.
Chapter 16
When he saw how weak I was, Ethan carried me to
the bathroom, where he turned on the hot water, ran me a bath and sank into it with me. He washed me gently, poking my bruises and gloating over every mark he’d left on my body.
“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” I asked sleepily, leaning against his chest.
“No one has ever wanted to do that with me.” He ran his hands over my body.
“I’ve never told anyone about my stepfather. I can’t stand being touched gently because that’s how he touched me.”
“Did your mother know about your stepfather?” He moved the soap over my breast, pinching the nipple lightly.
I sighed, not sure I wanted to relive this. “I told her. Just before she died.”
“You know what he did was not your fault.”
“I didn’t stop him, I should have said something earlier.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “And now everyone is dead because of me.”
“How did they die?” His arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly to his chest.
“It was a car accident. I told my mom I didn’t want to live with him anymore, that he was raping me. She told me to stop being so ungrateful and to stop making up lies.” I took a deep breath.
“And then?”
“I told her that it was true. We started to fight about it and she turned to yell at me and ran straight into a semi truck.”
“I’m sorry, but that also was not your fault,” he said in my ear. Despite my soreness, his voice was making me hot again, but the thought of the mangled metal and the screams dragged me back to reality.
“They didn’t die right away. My mom was gone as soon as we hit, but my little brothers were screaming in the back. I couldn’t reach them because the car was crumpled up around us.”
Ethan said nothing, just tightened his arms around me.
“I listened to them scream for so long. The paramedics got there and they took Adam out first. He was four. He was quiet right before they got to him and I heard someone say he was gone. Then they got to Jackson and he was screaming as they took him to the ambulance. He was only five. And he was dead by the time they got to the hospital.”
“I’m sorry. They didn’t deserve to die.”
“No, they didn’t. I should have died. I was the one who made it happen.” The tears were pouring now and hiccupping sobs made me hunch over in the tub.
“Cursi, none of that was your fault. It was shitty timing and bad luck. You didn’t do it.” Ethan turned me, cradling me against his chest like a baby. “You have to forgive yourself.”
“I can’t,” I sobbed. “They’re dead because of me. How can anyone forgive that?”
Ethan let me sob against him until I was cried out and the water was cold. Then he carefully lifted me out of the tub and wrapped a towel around me and carried me to bed.
When I was all tucked in, I realized something. “You were gentle with me.”
“I don’t always have to be mean. You just bring it out in me.”
“But you were nice and I didn’t freak out. I didn’t feel like being sick,” I murmured.
“See, maybe we can fix each other,” he said, kissing my forehead.
He was gone a few minutes later, but he left Kraken on my bed, curled up under my chin to keep me warm.
I didn’t go to school the next day. I was too worn out. I slept until noon and then got up and cleaned up the mess Kraken had made while I was being a lazy bum and took him outside. While he ran around the yard sniffing and peeing on everything, I sat down in the grass, letting the cool wind blow my hair everywhere.
Spilling everything to Ethan the night before felt like a cleansing. It was better than the cutting.
I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t show up that night. It had been too much for both of us. He’d exposed himself in a way that I would never entirely understand, though I accepted every part of him.
When Tuesday morning came, I stumbled out my door and headed for the bus, after kissing Kraken on the head.
I stepped off the bus and headed into school, determined to make up for lost time. Ethan wasn’t waiting for me. In fact, he wasn’t at school at all. I wondered if he’d come the day before. The school felt empty without him, but I paid attention in my classes, got my makeup homework and sat through lunch with Rosa babbling away. She didn’t notice that I was distant.
Back home that evening, I made ravioli and sat waiting, hoping, that he would show up. But he didn’t and I dragged myself back to bed, falling asleep early.
He was missing for the next week and when I finally tried calling on Friday afternoon, the call went to voicemail. I hung up without leaving a message and feeling stupid. Obviously he hadn’t felt the same way that I had. He’d just wanted someone he could bash around until he got horny. }
“I’m an idiot, Kraken.” I hugged the puppy, who was outgrowing his cuteness and turning into a long legged creature with sharp teeth. He whined and headed for the door, so I grabbed his leash and we went down to the beach. I sat on the rock that Ethan had choked me on, staring out at the ocean and wondering when I would start making good life choices. The weekend stretched out ahead of me, making me feel bleak.
On the plus side, he had been right about fixing me. I hadn’t had a single nightmare since the night we’d fucked and for that I was grateful. I threw a stick for Kraken and watched him take off after it.
My heart hurt, but knowing I’d been used was secondary to everything else. I’d learned I could move on and for that, I would forever be grateful to Ethan.
Chapter 17
No one knew anything about Ethan. I asked around and they hadn’t heard a thing. Rosa finally convinced me to visit his house to see if he was there. But when I arrived, his mother told me he’d moved away. She had the same icy blue eyes as her son and her features were even sharper. She glared at me like I was the devil and I stumbled away from the house, certain there was something more going on.
“Maybe he just really hates me so he’s faking his own death or something.” I stared out the window as Rosa drove me to my house, which was just a mile down the road from Ethan’s.
“I don’t think that’s possible. I mean, you had sex, right?”
I nodded. “Amazing sex.”
“So maybe he just got weirded out after. Guys do that. At least in the movies.” She grinned at me. “I’m sure he’ll come back and serenade you into falling for him again soon.”
“Not a chance. This isn’t a romantic comedy,” I pointed out.
“Then maybe you need to move on.”
“I think I’m good.” I didn’t tell her that I didn’t want anyone else to see my scars. Or that the bruises from that incredible night were still mottling my skin. There was nothing I could do about it anyway, except hide it.
My father came home a few days later and I spent the evenings with him, cooking for him and repeating some of the recipes that Ethan had made for me. Others I found on cooking websites and made up some tasty food.
“You’re getting really good at this,” my father told me. “And I can’t help but notice that you look a lot healthier, too.”
“Thanks, I’ve been trying to eat better,” I told him.
He was off again the next week and I hugged Kraken and thanked him for being the only thing to stick around. “I’m too messed up for human guys, Kraky,” I told him. “You’re it for me.”
I wondered absently what Ethan had done with my kit and if he still had it. Hopefully he’d tossed it in the garbage. I’d hate for his mother to find it in her son’s room.
The days dragged by and the rain occasionally started to let up. I relished the few hours of sunshine that broke through each day and spent more time outside with Kraken. He was gradually becoming a dog that liked to chase sticks and run and jump, but his main purpose in life was to protect me. He even growled at sea otters that got too close.
It wasn’t until three month later that I learned what had happened. Rosa came up to me at school with a strange look on her face.
“He’s b
ack.”
“What?” I looked up from my late homework. “Who’s back?”
“Ethan.”
Hearing his name sent shivers down my spine still, but shut that down immediately. There was no reason to be feeling that way about a guy who had left me in the lurch after giving me the most amazing night of my life.
Instead of reacting, I just nodded. “Okay. I guess whatever was taking up his time is done. I wonder if he’ll still graduate.”
Rosa rolled her eyes at me. “Are you seriously telling me you don’t have feelings for the guy?”
“I do, but they’re pretty faded now, okay?” I looked at her in annoyance. “I’m not about to be stupid and fall for his shit again.”
“Okay.” She raised her hands in the air. “I’ll stay out of it.
“Please do!” I packed up my stuff and headed to my next class. I kept my head down, determined not to see him. At one point, as I rushed between classes, I heard my name being called in his rich baritone, but I ignored it and ducked into a different classroom until I was sure he was gone.
Our last class was together. I sank down in my seat and felt his familiar presence behind me, heard the same tapping of the pencil. I refused to turn around, but he didn’t speak to me either, which was really for the best, I decided.
There wasn’t anything I wanted to say to Ethan, so I gathered my things and was out the door the second the bell rang. I had to go grocery shopping, so I blew past everyone else and ran to the bus stop. It didn’t take long to get on the bus and I still hadn’t seen Ethan or his familiar red Mustang.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I headed to the supermarket to buy groceries with the money my father had left me when he headed out on this latest trip.
I basically lived on my own. My father was home maybe two or three days a month and the rest of the time I lived by myself. He always left me plenty of money and I only spent a fraction of it each time.
The rest of the money I left in a tin in the kitchen cupboard, waiting for a rainy day.
Since Ethan had changed my eating habits, I was eating much better, with plenty of fruits and vegetables. I even ate something besides yogurt at school now.
