Bad Rep

by A. Meredith Walters

“It's not like any of them were particularly fond of Liv, sweetheart.” I blinked in surprise. Hmm, I had always thought Olivia got along well with the Pi Sig guys. Maybe not.

  “No, they're just being a bunch of bitches. And I don't have time in my life for bitches,” he said shortly, making it clear he was done with that particular subject. We stopped and got bagels from The Cup and Crumb before making our way to campus. The ugliness from the morning, while not entirely forgotten, was at least pushed to the side. And I was able to see what a relationship with Jordan would be like.

  We got along so well, it was a little scary. Despite the amazing sexual chemistry, I found we actually had a lot to talk about. Jordan was smart and funny and damn near irresistible. “We have a gig coming up this weekend at Dave's Tavern. I'd love for you to come and see us play.” Jordan commented, pulling into the parking lot in front of the freshman dorms.

  I picked up my stuff from the floor of his truck. “Yeah, I think that can be arranged,” I responded coyly as Jordan reached over to curl his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me toward him.

  “Yes, please pencil me into your busy schedule,” he said with a grin before kissing me soundly. I wanted to melt into a puddle on his leather seats. This boy could kiss. And kiss well.

  “Now come on, can't have us late for class,” Jordan said, running his thumb along the curve of my bottom lip as I tried to get my bearings.

  “Um, yeah. Class,” I mumbled as he chuckled, opening his door. I followed him up the path that led to Randolph Hall, where my class was held. Jordan made a point to hold me close, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. I couldn't ignore the looks we got as we made our way along campus. I hated this feeling of being on show. That everyone was a little too focused on the two of us together.

  If it bothered Jordan, he didn't let on. We stopped in front of Randolph Hall, toe to toe, holding each other's hands and grinning like the crazy fools we were. “I'd like to take you out to dinner tonight. What do you say?” he asked, swinging my hands back and forth. I laughed, enjoying the lightness that unfurled in my chest. Jordan lifted our joined hands and laced his fingers with mine. Slowly and deliberately, he brought my knuckles to his lips, kissing them softly.

  “It's a date,” I replied softly, watching him as he held my hand against his mouth. I felt his smile as much as I saw it. His face lit up and he reluctantly released me to head toward his own class.

  “That's right babe. It's a date. And tonight, you're all mine.” He promised with a devilish twinkle in his eye. I giggled as I turned and walked inside. I was on cloud 9. Well, until I saw three of my sorority sisters giving me the evil eye.

  “Hey, Maysie,” Milla said snidely, giving me a hateful smile. I nodded in her direction but didn't say anything, moving passed her. Milla fell into step behind me and I suppressed a groan. “Saw you with Jordan. So are you two...together?” she asked as though it were something lewd. I turned and faced her.

  “What do you want Milla? If you want to say something, just say it.” I knew I was setting myself up for it, but at that point, I just didn't care.

  Milla moved in closer. She was quite a bit taller than me and I hated how I had to look up at her. “I've never liked you, Maysie. If it were up to me, you'd be kicked out of Chi Delta so fast your head would spin. But that's not how we do things. Some of us are classier than that.” I snorted.

  “Classy? You?” I scoffed, giving her short skirt and revealing shirt a critical once over. Milla's face darkened.

  “Well, I wasn't the one fucking Olivia's boyfriend behind her back, was I?” I opened my mouth to give a snappy comeback but stopped myself. What was the point? I wasn't in the mood for a round of verbal jousting.

  “I think you have some nerve prancing all over campus with him like that. Olivia has been nothing but nice to you. And this is how you repay her? By jumping in for her sloppy seconds?” Milla pushed passed me then stopped and looked back. “But I guess it's easy to land a guy when you're so willing to lay on your back for him. You are nothing but a whore and the whole campus knows it. So enjoy Jordan while you have him. Because I can guarantee it won't be for long.” She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and walked off, our two sisters following behind her not bothering to acknowledge me.

  I stood there, dumbstruck. Was that bitch for real? It didn't take a scientist to see that jealousy motivated everything with Milla. She reeked of it. I didn't want to listen to any of the bullshit that came out of her mouth. I wanted to dismiss her outright. But the sucky thing was that she was right. It was crappy to walk around with Jordan, blissful in the newness of our relationship while Olivia nursed her wounds over their recent break-up. It was kind of heartless and more than a little selfish. And I didn't want to be that girl. But maybe I had unwittingly already become her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The rest of the week went by in agonizing slowness. Every day I had to walk onto campus knowing I was the talk of the town. I suppose I could have been flattered that people were so interested in my life. It would have been great to look at the catastrophic mess in something semi-positive. But the truth was that the rumors, the whispers, the hateful looks, were like a knife to my gut. I had gone from being a happy, popular sorority girl, to public enemy #1. I had known Olivia was well liked but I had a feeling that my descent into villainy had more to do with the public's need for a juicy scandal. The parts had been given out and I was cast as the conniving slut.

  I sat in my classes, trying to pay attention to my professors' lectures but I all I could hear were the hushed voices swirling around me. I overheard a couple of girls talking about how I had purposefully gone after Jordan while Olivia was away for the summer. The words “slut” and “disgusting skank” had been thrown in for good measure and I had immediately stopped listening.

  Jordan wasn't immune to it either. He had shown up at my apartment for our date looking majorly pissed off. I had asked him what was wrong but he had only shaken his head, saying it didn't matter. After some more prodding, I had gotten out of him that there was a “house meeting” with his roommates. It had gotten ugly. Nasty things were said (though he wouldn't elaborate what they were) and he had left before anything had been resolved.

  I felt horrible. I hated that I was the source of such dissension in his life. Jordan wouldn't let me apologize, emphatically telling me I had nothing to be sorry for. But I was sorry. So, horribly, terribly sorry.

  How could we have any sort of meaningful relationship when it was founded on so much drama? I had asked if we could rain check on going out to dinner and instead suggested ordering in. Jordan had argued that he wanted to take me out. That we had nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't agree. Now more than ever, I wanted to hide away from it all.

  Jordan had eventually caved and we ended up ordering Chinese and watching a movie. I tried to forget about everything outside of he and I and this great thing we had going on. I had also come to find that while we were alone, forgetting was surprisingly easy.

  Because we had fun together. More than that...we just sort of fit. And that made me think that it was definitely worth the heartache.

  So, while we ate our cheap Chinese food, Jordan had tried to get me to eat some his spicy pork. I refused, resulting in Jordan shoving a piece into my mouth while he pinned me to the couch. Soon a food fight had ensued and by the time we called cease fire, the living room walls were painted with sweet and sour sauce and bits of chicken hung from my hair. Jordan was trying to lick the remnants of our dinner off of my neck when Riley had walked in with Damien.

  They took one look at Jordan kneeling over top of me on the couch with his mouth sucking on my chin and had turned around and walked right back out. Jordan and I had started laughing until he pressed his mouth to mine and then there wasn't any more laughing. Or talking. Only kissing. And a lot of touching.

  The insatiable physical attraction only grew stronger the more time we spent together. And it was this need to be with him in every way p
ossible that made our situation all the harder to handle. Because I wanted to yell from the rooftops that Jordan Levitt was my boyfriend. I wanted to go out on dates and walk across campus together. I wanted to take him to mixers and announce to the world that he was mine.

  But it still felt like we were each other's dirty little secret. Because Jordan didn't offer for me to come hang out at the Pi Sig house. We avoided places where there was a chance of running into Olivia and my Chi Delta sisters (which was pretty much everywhere). Instead, he came to my apartment in the evening. We fooled around and he usually fell asleep wrapped around me. And that was nice. Just not what I had dreamed it would be like.

  Because Olivia was still a major problem. She wasn't going away quietly. And hell if she wasn't bent on making my life miserable. She was calling Jordan...constantly. His phone would often beep several times a night. He was always honest in saying that it was her and never made any effort to respond. He usually deleted the texts without reading them. I was dying to see what she had written and I considered snooping. But we were really working on building trust between us, especially given our shaky start. And reading his text messages behind his back wouldn't help with the whole honesty thing.

  So, Jordan would eventually turn off his phone, then assure me that it didn't matter. But it did matter. Because I was insanely jealous. And worried. Worried that he'd wake up one morning and say that being with me was a big mistake.

  My insecurities were driving me crazy and Olivia did everything she could to dig my doubts in a little deeper. She was sneaky, none of her attacks against me were overt. I had avoided the Chi Delta house for the few days after the chapter meeting. But Gracie had insisted I come and hang out Wednesday after my last class. I had put up a bit of a fight but she reasoned that I was still a sister and had every right to be there.

  I finally agreed, not wanting to argue about it anymore. I had gone over to the house and at first it wasn't too bad. A few of the other girls came and hung out with Gracie and I while we watched re-runs of America's Next Top Model in the common room. We had laughed together and made cutting commentary as we watched the show.

  Then Olivia had shown up and with one look at the girls, everyone got up and made excuses to leave. I had no power against Olivia's popularity. She controlled the house with an iron fist and I had been firmly allocated outsider status.

  I seriously questioned why I was still apart of Chi Delta when it was so obvious I wasn't wanted there. When I brought this up to Gracie and Vivian, they both staunchly refused to hear what I was saying. “You are a Chi Delt! Don't you dare let them make you feel any different! Olivia is out of here after this year and next year will be all about us!” Gracie argued. Vivian had nodded adamantly.

  “This will blow over. I promise you,” Vivian assured me.

  That's what they always said. And so far, that day when it would all be behind me, had yet to come. Though, I never called them on their well-intentioned bullshit. Because, I didn't think Olivia would just get over what had happened. She and Jordan had been together for three years and I understood her feelings of hurt and betrayal. And I knew without a doubt that she loved Jordan. I just wish I could stop feeling like Kelly Taylor splitting up Dylan and Brenda. Oh crap, I was totally Kelly! I hated Kelly!

  My own feelings of shame and guilt were burning a hole through my heart. I was ready to pull my hair out by Saturday night. I had promised Jordan I'd come to the Generation Rejects gig at Dave's Tavern but I was so anxious I felt like I would come out of my skin. Riley had agreed to come along so I wouldn't have to go by myself. Gracie and Vivian were busy doing sisterhood stuff. Sisterhood stuff that I hadn't been privy to. Gracie had assured me that it was just planning for the upcoming Ball Blast, the semi-formal Chi Delta hosted every November. Whatever, I knew I was left out on purpose.

  So I found myself in my room, twenty minutes before we had to leave, trying to decide on what to wear. I was dangerously close to calling Jordan and plead some sort of illness that required me to spend the evening in bed, when Riley knocked on my door. “Come in,” I called out, throwing a pair of black heels across the room.

  “Woah, Babe Ruth, watch it!” She dodged another pair of shoes that I hurled as she walked in. I sighed in frustration and sat down on the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Is that what you're wearing?” Riley asked, indicating my sweat pants and torn t-shirt. I couldn't help but laugh.

  “Why, you don't think I look hot in this? I thought I'd try and bring sleep deprived college student back as a legitimate style. What do ya think?”

  Riley pulled on my ponytail. “Well, I guess the coffee stains and torn elastic could be considered trashy chic.” We laughed together.

  “I can't find anything to wear, Riley. I mean what do you wear to a biker bar?” Dave's was a pretty rough place to go. I had heard of numerous stabbings there over the years. I had never dared to venture to Dave's myself, but I had been told it was pretty hard core.

  “Come on, you've got to have some black leather in there somewhere.” Riley peered into my closet.

  “Actually...” I got to my feet and dug around in the pile of clothes on the floor and pulled out a short red leather mini skirt that I had gotten for the Chi Delta “Biker Babes Bash” last spring. Riley gave me a thumbs up.

  “That's more like it!” She enthused. I found a black halter top with a collar and open sleeves and then pulled out my black ankle boots to finish the ensemble. Okay, I felt better. Nothing like a killer outfit to pull me out of my doldrums.

  “Now get dressed, the band goes on in thirty minutes. There isn't enough time for your marathon primping. Just hurry up,” Riley told me blandly. I waved her out of my room and went about making myself look bikerlicious. When I was done (in record time, I might add), I took in my reflection and had to admit that I looked damn hot. Hell, I'd do me if I could.

  I had put my hair up in a teased ponytail on the top of my head and left some chunky strands around my face. I did my makeup a little heavier than normal, rimming my eyes in dark liner. My lips were a deep, but I thought kissable, red. The tight mini skirt and even tighter top made my body look awesome. The whole process of getting ready to go out had done wonders for my spirit. I found I was looking forward to my evening. Ready to go see my man's band and enjoy hanging out with people who weren't there to judge or look down on me for my choices.

  Tonight was supposed to be my first time hanging with Jordan's band mates. Garrett was having a party at his house after their gig. Jordan warned that they usually got a little wild. I hadn't really met the band yet, but Jordan had assured me that they were nothing like his brothers in Pi Sig. These were a bunch of guys who didn't do the whole college scene. It was a little weird how Jordan had these two totally different lives. On one end you have Jordan #1. Mr. Pi Sig, the most popular guy at Rinard College. On the other, there was Jordan #2. The hardcore rocker who played music and went crazy with a bunch of townies. I wasn't sure what to expect with Jordan #2. But I was excited to find out.

  Riley had promised she'd come too. That made me feel better. She and Damien had been attached at the hip lately and I was with Jordan constantly. Our friendship had its ebbs and flows, but we had never gone this long without spending time together. I missed her.

  We got to Dave's with only ten minutes to spare. The place was packed. I had gotten my obligatory underage stamp on my hand. I intended to wipe it off using the small container of salt I had brought in my bag for such an occasion. This crowd was quite different than the ones I was used to. I didn't make it a habit of hanging out in biker bars and as I took in the scary looking dudes and even scarier looking women, I knew why.

  Riley pushed her way through the crowd to a table near the back. Damien had saved us a spot and we sat down, taking it all in. “Hey ladies. Lookin' fine as always,” Damien yelled over the noise. Damien was cute in a math geek with an edge sort of way. He wore black framed glasses and had messy brown hair that fell nicely over his forehea
d. What was most important was the way he looked at my best friend. I knew love when I saw it and that was what was painted all over both of their faces. It warmed my heart.

  Damien had brought his friend, Adam. Adam nodded in greeting, but was more interested in nursing his rum and coke than having a conversation, so we left him to it. “Hey, I'm going to head to the bathroom and try to get this off.” I held up my hand, indicating the huge green 'x' that let everyone and their brother know I was underage.

  “You want me to come with?” Riley asked from her perch on Damien's lap.

  “No, I'm cool. I'll be right back.” I made my way, very slowly, through the heaving crowd. I was knocked sideways a few times and almost lost my footing. I was finally able to push my way into the bathroom. I pulled out the tiny bottle of iodized salt and poured it on the back of my hand. Then I turned on the water and started scrubbing. These underage stamps used serious ink and this was a little party trick I had learned very early on in my college years.

  I stood there at the sink, rubbing my skin raw in an attempt to get rid of the annoying x when I heard a very familiar voice. “I think this is the bathroom.” Olivia's voice filtered in through the door and I hurriedly turned off the tap and bee lined to one of the stalls. Yuck. The stall was foul and I had to hold my nose so I wouldn't breathe in the stench.