Blind Love

by Kishan Paul

  “Go home and pack, Sun. I’ll call Triny and see if she’s available.”

  Her friend laughed. “Are you kidding? And let the cleaning lady hear the juicy details before I do? Hustle your butt to the car and chug the coffee, woman. I’m getting impatient.”

  Lauren filled Jack’s food bowl while he licked her face. When he whined, she held him close and pressed her cheek into his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t spend any time with you, fella. If you had played with me last night, all of this could have been avoided.”

  “Talking kinky to the dog?” Sunny asked from the front door.

  Instead of responding, Lauren let him kiss her goodbye one last time and headed for the car.

  After a few minutes on the road, Sunny grabbed the mug in Lauren’s hand and shook it. “Okay, you’ve swallowed half of it. Your fine-assed boyfriend barely said goodbye before he left this morning. What happened?”

  Lauren winced at the thought of the things Sunny must have said to Gabe. “He’s not my boyfriend and I have nothing to say.” Sinking lower in her seat, she took another gulp of her medication. She wanted to confess. It was Sunny’s honest and usually right opinions on the matter that worried her.

  “If you won’t talk, I’ll sing,” Sunny said in a high-pitched Mary Poppins voice. “I’m thinking Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ is in order. Or should I do Bon Jovi’s ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’? Any preferences?”

  Lauren leaned her head against the leather seat and sighed. “Neither. I already know I messed up. No need to remind me.”

  “You shoved another one away, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered and fiddled with the cup.

  “Then fix it.”

  Funny how easy she made it seem. “Can’t. It was the right thing to do.”

  Sunny parked the car and took the empty mug from Lauren’s hand. “I got a view of his naked ass. It was definitely not the right thing to do.”

  “I took advantage of him.”

  “Of course you did, and he obviously didn’t complain. But the real question is, why did you?”

  She couldn’t hide; it was time to confess her sins. “I talked to Ben at the park yesterday.”

  “Fuck. That’s the reason you called me last night.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry, I should have…”

  Lauren cut her off. “What? Stopped having sex with Scott to run over and talk to me about my pitiful life?”

  She could hear the smile in Sunny’s face. “Good point. Really good sex, by the way.”

  “Thanks for the information.”

  “Whatever. You got the good stuff last night too.”

  Lauren didn’t respond. She was trying really hard to not remember just how good the sex had been.

  “What did your dumbass ex have to say?”

  Lauren shrugged. “How are you? It’s great to see you. You look great. Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  Sunny slammed her hand on the steering wheel. “I knew it! I told you. What did you say?”

  Her eyes watered. She filled her lungs with air. “I was doing great. That being around him was overwhelming and I needed some time to get used to it first.”

  She squeezed Lauren’s arm. “Oh, Cat. I’m sorry.”

  A tear slid down Lauren’s cheek. “He said he’d respect my wishes and wait. He sounded sad. Lonely. It was hard to hear him like that. You know? I wanted to fix it for him.” More tears streamed down her face as the pain from the day before filled her. “But he isn’t mine to fix anymore.” Her voice cracked at the admission. “So, instead I told him he needed to stop patrolling my neighborhood.”

  Sunny sniffled and pulled her into an embrace. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “I thought I was,” Lauren said. “But being around Ben made everything come back. The hurt, the sadness. I had a hard time keeping it together. Gabe could tell and so he brought over dinner.”

  “So sexy-ass man took advantage of the situation and talked you into sex?”

  “His name is Gabe. He is a person with feelings, not a body part.” Lauren pulled away from the hug. She blew her nose with the Kleenex Sunny gave her before continuing. “And I took advantage of him. I groped him. I am so messed up. God, I need more coffee.” She wiped her face with the tissue.

  Sunny laughed. “There’s another mug for you in the cup holder. And why does checking out his package make you messed up?”

  “I used him because of the whole seeing-Ben thing and made everything worse.”

  “Did it really?”

  “Yeah, it did. He was being neighborly and I took advantage of him. This is an all-time low for me.”

  Sunny plucked tissue lint off Lauren’s face, pinching her skin in the process.

  “Ow.”

  “Took advantage? I’m calling bullshit. He’s been wanting in your pants since he came by yesterday morning. Don’t deny it.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’m not that kind of person.”

  “You were last night and from the way things were thrown all across the house, I’m pretty sure you enjoyed it. Maybe you need to become a little more of that kind of person.”

  Lauren shook her head, but Sunny continued. “Since the divorce, you’ve dated these over-educated assholes. Every other thing out of their mouths was about how important their job and their time was. All of them were judgy and bored the hell out of both of us. When’s the last time you’ve been with a man who has stripped you naked like sexy-ass…sorry, Gabe did and made you feel something besides safe?”

  She thought about their night together. It was the best sex she’d had in a very long time. Afterward, when he held her close, it felt right. But he was temporary and therefore dangerous. “Safe is a good thing,” she mumbled.

  “So is being happy. And you haven’t been happy in forever.”

  She considered all the men she pushed away in the past few years. Each of them would have loved her and been good to her. “Because I’m stupid.”

  “Agreed. You are, but it’s not the reason. The kind of man you’re attracted to and the kind you’ve been dating are very different.”

  “So I prefer uneducated men like Ben and probably Gabe?”

  “No, you prefer ones who don’t pretend to be things they’re not.”

  “Ben did. He pretended to be loyal and he wasn’t. I don’t ever want to go through something like that again. The kind of men I’ve been dating wouldn’t have done those things.”

  “And how’s that working for you?”

  She cringed. “Gabe’s not the guy, either. Like I said, he’s not long-term material.”

  Sunny started to laugh. “Ahem. Remember The Bodyguard? You know in the end when Kevin Costner watches Whitney Houston walk away to the plane and knows he’ll never see her again? It’s the same look I saw on country boy’s face when he left this morning. Now the man’s had a taste of you, he’s not going anywhere and when he comes knocking at your door tonight, you better let him in.”

  Excited energy was building inside her. She shoved down the surge. All of this was confusing and what did it all matter in the end, anyway?

  He was not safe.

  “Come on, we have shopping to do.” Lauren climbed out of the car and shut the door, ending their conversation. She smiled when her friend screamed her disapproval.

  “Car coming at three o’clock,” Sunny said as they walked across the parking lot together.

  “I know you’re trying to help, but I’m confused and talking about it is only making it worse. So can you trust me to make the right decision, please?” Lauren asked as she listened for the car to pass.

  “Sure.” Sunny grabbed her arm and tugged them forward. “When you groped his penis, did your fingertips meet on the other side?” she whispered.

  Her face
flushed. “Shut up.”

  “Don’t worry, no one’s around. I’m looking. You can share. I think he might be one who would require more than a single hand to encircle.”

  “Not answering.”

  “Hopefully not crooked like good old lawyer Craig’s. You didn’t have to shift to get it in, did you?”

  Lauren laughed and hugged her. “I love you.”

  “Any time, sweetheart.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Goodbye

  Gabe locked the front door and headed to his pickup. The decision was made. He needed to move his pitiful ass into the cabin immediately. A woman he barely knew had him confessing things he’d never told anyone else, and the scariest part: he caught himself reconsidering nonnegotiable promises. Those were fantasies he couldn’t afford. Not when other lives counted on him. He glanced over at her place and stopped dead in his tracks.

  Speak of the devil.

  Hands on her hips, Lauren stood talking to the cabbie parked in her driveway. Her hair was twisted in a knot. The dark blue, strapless summer dress she wore had his gaze lingering over her long neck and tanned shoulders. His mouth watered at the memory of how sweet her covered parts tasted last night.

  There was something about her that hooked him. Yes, she was beautiful, but there was more. It was how her eyes crinkled when she laughed. All the smart-ass things she’d say. The soothing way her voice melted his guard. And when she touched him, it was as if she was sticking her hands inside him, picking up every one of his painful pieces, and for just a little while gluing them back together.

  What the fuck am I saying?

  He looked away and continued to his truck. She’d find the right person one day, and whoever the man was would be one lucky bastard.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t help you,” the cabbie said.

  Gabe put the last of the supplies into the large metal toolbox and padlocked the lid.

  “He’s a guide dog. Isn’t it against the law for you to refuse services because of him?” Lauren asked.

  He bit back his urge to help.

  For him, the girl spelled trouble.

  T.

  R.

  O.

  U.

  “The sign right there says no animals.” The driver pointed to the backseat window.

  B.

  L.

  E.

  She grinned. “And if I wasn’t blind, I’m sure I would have seen it.”

  Gabe chuckled. He loved her fake smile. Leaning against the truck, he watched the performance.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I mean, you don’t look blind.”

  Still grinning, she cleared her throat and pulled on the dog’s harness. “I am. Which is why I need my guide dog. He goes everywhere with me.”

  The beast raised its ears and looked at Gabe. He averted his eyes, pulled off his baseball cap and tucked it into his jean pocket. Her monster of a pet was making him feel guilty as hell.

  “I’m sorry, but I’m allergic to animals. He can’t come in my taxi.”

  “I can pay you extra for your troubles. The place is a few blocks after the highway. It would only be ten minutes of your time.”

  “Look, ma’am. It’s not going to happen. If you want, I’ll call another car to pick you up.”

  After a long pause, she shook her head and bit her lip. “No, it’s fine. I understand. Thank you.”

  A few seconds later, the cab pulled away. Lauren stood cross-armed, staring out.

  Gabe gripped the truck to make sure his legs didn’t get any crazy ideas.

  This is not my problem. Maybe if he said it enough times, he’d believe it.

  “Come on, Jack. It’s time for Plan B,” she said and grabbed the dog’s holster.

  Plan what?

  Stunned, he watched the two stroll down the road. She said the place was a few blocks after the highway. Which meant they’d be walking alongside one of the busiest boulevards in Denver for a few yards before she’d ever reach the interstate. He looked at his watch. Four fifty, on a Friday afternoon. The two would be smack dab in front of the I25 overpass during rush hour traffic—a dangerous situation for anyone, much less a blind woman.

  She wouldn’t, would she?

  When Lauren got to the end of the street and turned left, he cursed under his breath.

  Yeah, she would.

  Still frozen by the bed of his pickup, he tried to figure out what the hell to do. The drill sergeant in his head ordered him to mind his own fucking business and get his ass to work on the cabin. She survived this long without anyone’s help and had probably crossed hundreds of dangerous intersections in the process.

  He nodded in agreement and climbed into the driver’s seat. As soon as he kicked it into reverse, police sirens blared. A normal occurrence, considering the station was a block away. Regardless, images of Lauren under the wheels of a semi whirled in his mind. His stomach twisted. A thin film of sweat formed on his forehead.

  “For the love of…” he muttered and drove in the direction she’d disappeared.

  They were approaching an intersection when he pulled up. He rolled down the passenger window and put on his cheeriest voice. “Hey there.”

  She paused and smiled. “Gabe?”

  A car stopped behind him. He waved it along. “Yup. Need a ride?”

  “No, we’re fine. It’s not far.”

  He bit back his irritation and gripped the steering wheel. She was the most stubborn woman he’d ever met. “I don’t mind.”

  She tilted her head as if considering her options while he considered picking her up and throwing her ass in the truck.

  “And Jack?” She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her brows. “I’m not putting him in the bed, it’s not safe.”

  He struggled to keep his calm. Arguing how the back of his pickup was less hazardous to the animal’s health than walking through the overpass during rush-hour traffic probably wasn’t a good idea. “There’s a second row. He’ll be fine.”

  A semi whizzed past, blowing its horn, scaring the hell out of him and, from the way Lauren jumped, her too. She and the dog were inside seconds later.

  Gabe locked the doors before she reconsidered. When he leaned across to buckle her in, the mix of citrus and vanilla filled his lungs. He eyed her pink-stained lips, wondering if they still tasted of peppermint.

  “You followed me from the house.”

  He clicked her latch into place. “I did,” he admitted, pulling away from the curb and onto the road.

  “And you waited until now to offer me a ride?”

  Her probing eyes burned into him, waiting for answers. Funny considering all she could probably see was the color of his shirt. “Wasn’t sure if you’d say yes. Where am I going, by the way?”

  “Take a left at the next light. We need to go past the interstate. So what made you finally ask?”

  “Not sure,” he said, omitting the images of her broken body being tenderized by eighteen-wheelers flashing in his head. “I still have no clue where we’re going.”

  “Turn right at the second signal after the highway, and Heritage Oaks Assisted Living Center will be on the left.”

  “You really are a cat,” he said, in awe of her sense of direction.

  She shrugged. “Because I can’t see doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around being helpless.”

  “I’m pretty confident no one considers you helpless.”

  She stared out the window and didn’t respond. He searched for another topic to cut the tension. “Are you volunteering at the place?”

  “No, spending time with a friend.”

  “The old lady whose house I bought?”

  She relaxed and smiled at him. “Mrs. Rourke. I talked her into going there and she’s pretty lonely. Turns out the first Friday of every month
at five is social night at the Center. Since she didn’t go to the last one, I want to make sure she goes tonight. It’ll be good for her to meet the neighbors.”

  “She’s lucky to have you.”

  Lauren didn’t respond. This time he let the silence sit between them. Just having her beside him was enough.

  Their trip ended way too fast. Gabe pulled up to the bricked high-rise and parked. “Does she know you’re coming?”

  “She will in five minutes.” She climbed out, her dog right behind her. When she shut the door and leaned her head into the open window, he thought of ways to say goodbye. Before he found the words, she flashed him a smile, which of course made him forget she was trouble.

  “Thanks for the ride.”

  “What time should I pick you up?”

  While she laughed, he tried to memorize the dimples, creases, and the sound.

  “You won’t. I’ll call a cab.”

  “You tried a little while ago. It didn’t go so well and it’ll be dark soon.”

  She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off. “Here, give me your cell.” When she handed it to him, he punched his number in and stored it for her. “I’ll be around. Call me when you need a ride.”

  From the way her eyes squinted, it was obvious her brain was finding a way to say no. He drove away before she had the chance.

  The chords of a country song were audible before he parked at the assisted living center two hours later. She hadn’t called. He hadn’t expected her to, but figured he’d show up anyway, if for nothing else, they could at least have a proper goodbye.

  He followed the music to the backyard of the complex. Round tables with chairs peppered the lawn. Stringed lights filled the night sky like fireflies. People dressed in their Sunday best danced, ate and talked. All but one of them were old enough to be his grandparent. He fixed his gaze on the brown-haired beauty.

  An elderly man in khaki Dockers and a light-colored shirt held her in his arms as they danced. She laughed at whatever he said, and when they turned, Gabe laughed too. The man’s hands palmed her ass and, besides moving them, she didn’t seem the least bit bothered.

  A heavy-set woman with a kind face approached him. “You must be Gabe. I’m Irma Rourke.”