The Underdogs: The Complete Series

by Stewart , Kate

  “You look beautiful.”

  “You look like shit.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Are you sure you’re making the right decision?”

  I nod. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t have my back and won’t trust me to have hers.”

  “Then I pray she does the work because you two were beautiful together. Your family is beautiful. And even if your relationship isn’t where you want it, make no mistake, son, that is your family.”

  I swallow the truth of it. “I know.”

  “Good. Glad you know it all. So, when are you going over there?”

  “Soon.”

  “How soon?”

  “Mom,” I say exasperated, pushing my plate away. “Enough.”

  “Just remember when you were working your ass off to get drafted, she was working her ass off to keep your son warm. So, stop punishing her for keeping the secrets she kept out of love, for you, so you could do what you needed to do.”

  “Doesn’t change the fact we don’t trust each other.”

  “I think you know that’s not true.”

  “I’ve done everything I can to prove myself to her, and it’s not good enough.”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  “What?” I gape at her. “You’re kidding me, right? Mom—”

  “You keep convincing yourself that everything is so cut and dried. If you want a real family, it comes with the good and bad—cuts, bruises, and bumps, and there is no end date for that. You two will fight and often. You’re so much alike it’s scary. Pig-headed, stubborn…”

  “Great talk, Mom.”

  “Sit your ass down, right now.”

  I blow out a breath resuming my seat at the table.

  “You’re also both loving—selfless and a little selfish—but you both love that little boy with all your heart and soul. You’re amazing parents, but clueless with relationships. Having the real thing means good months and bad months, maybe a bad year or two, rinse and repeat. You two have yet to figure out how to get past a bad day, and that’s okay, it comes with time. You want to call it quits with her, fine. But you’re going to have a hell of a time keeping any relationship, unless you leave the scoreboard on the field where it belongs. Right or wrong, who did what to whom—who gives a shit? Your son is suffering, and here you are, still in love with her. If you were so damned determined to outshine any other man in her life, why didn’t you do the one thing you had to do that no other man has managed?”

  Swallowing, I stare at my plate. “Stay.”

  “I’ll get your keys.”

  Pulling up the driveway, I see Theo on the porch with Dante and am instantly on edge. I’m already dreading facing Clarissa and don’t want to deal with the aftermath of my falling out with Theo. He deserves an apology, but I’m over his assumptions about me, over defending myself, and I can see the clear accusation in his eyes when Dante greets me on the steps.

  “Hey, little man, where’s your mom?”

  Dante shakes his head. “She’s inside, but she’s crying.”

  I spare a glance at Theo, who’s already armored up.

  “Tell me you didn’t. Jesus Christ, Jenner.”

  Dante looks between us, confused. “What did he do?”

  “Nothing to worry about, bud,” I say, giving Theo a warning look before turning back to my son. “Hey, Dante, do you mind letting me talk to Theo a minute?”

  “Mama got that cereal you like,” he supplies as I grip his shoulder, trying to hide my flinch at his words as I walk him toward the door.

  “Yeah, maybe I’ll have some after I do the grass. Go on inside for a second, okay?”

  “If this is man talk, I’m cool. I’m the man of this house.”

  Another blow and I do the best I can to hide my reaction. “Go on,” I say, ushering him inside.

  “Fine,” Dante huffs. “Later, Theo.”

  I hang my head when the door closes. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “Please don’t confuse me for someone who cares enough about you to want to understand. It’s them I care about.”

  This pisses me off. “You think I don’t?”

  “I don’t think you care about anyone above yourself.”

  “Well, you’re fucking wrong. Look, you hate me, and that’s fine, but there’s something you need to know about Laney.”

  “Save your breath.”

  “She wasn’t lying. She never once gave me any reason to go after her. She wouldn’t even tell me her name. Every bit of that cat and mouse was me. It was all me. She’d already told me to fuck off twice before you came outside and at every turn before that. I’m the one who ran up on her. I’m the one who tried to force it. I was in a fucked-up place.”

  He glares at me from where he stands, not backing off an inch.

  “I just thought you should know.”

  “She already told me this herself.”

  “Yeah, but I’m guessing you didn’t believe her.” I can see the grudge he’s held for years for wrongs done to him that have shit to do with me. His hang-ups have to do with his own insecurities. Just like Clarissa, he rode me hard, waiting for the day for me to fuck up with a pre-prepared ‘I knew it’ on his tongue.

  “And I should believe you?”

  “Yeah, you should because when she looked at me, she saw me the same way you do, and I think that’s what attracted me to her. I wanted to prove you both wrong.” I glance at Clarissa’s door. “But I was trying to prove myself to the wrong people.” I glare over at Theo. “You assume so much about me, just like everyone else, and I just never bothered to correct you.”

  “Troy! Mommy won’t come outside!” Dante pokes his head out of the door, and I kneel down and pull him close. “Listen, bud. You know better. I’m in a serious conversation. Give me a minute.”

  I don’t miss the connection Theo makes when he finally sees it, and I don’t bother trying to hide it. Those days are over for me.

  “He’s yours.”

  I nod.

  “And you haven’t told him?”

  The nerve on this guy. I take a step forward. “This is messier than you could ever imagine and fuck the look on your face, Houseman. Do you think I answered your ad because I couldn’t find anywhere else to live closer to campus? Half my friends wouldn’t even charge me to live at their spots. Your address was my chance to be closer to him and look out for them both. She,” I wipe a hand down my face, “she doesn’t want anything to do with me.” He’s the wrong person to air my grievances to, but I can’t help myself.

  “You think I wanted to pay rent late every month? Contrary to what you think, I wasn’t getting my dick waxed every time I had a late night, I was working my fucking ass off to pay the rent for three. Between that and ball—” I shake my head disgusted with the fact that once again, I’m explaining my actions to a lost cause. “You know what? I could fill a fucking book with what you don’t know. You got the only explanation I owe you.” I walk inside and slam the door. Dante’s head pops up, and he pauses his game.

  “I got in trouble at school today. Mommy’s mad. I put myself in timeout, but she doesn’t care. Are you mad at me too?”

  I hate the fear in his voice. I hate that things are so fucked up between his mother and me. We’re both guilty. I let my crushed heart and anger toward her get in the way of what matters most. What should always come first. But I won’t lie to him.

  “I’m not mad at you. It’s not good to get in trouble, but I’m not mad.”

  “You and Theo not friends anymore? Is that why you moved?”

  I nod. “We’re just having a difference of opinion.”

  He thinks I’m a piece of shit, and I’m having a hard time proving myself differently. It ends here. I’ll be the father Dante’s come to trust. I walk over to where he sits and run my knuckles through his hair.

  “Grown-up stuff gets confusing sometimes. Hang in there with me, okay?”

  “K.”

  “Trust me?�
��

  “Yep.”

  “Good. Play your game. I’m going to talk to your mom. And we’ll talk about why you got in trouble in a little while, okay?”

  “K.” I start to make my way toward her room. “Troy?”

  “Yeah, bud?”

  “Are you going to spank me?”

  “Spank you?” I bite my lips to hide my grin. “No.”

  “K, ‘cause that would hurt real bad.”

  “Really bad. And I would never hurt you. You know that, right?

  “Uh huh.”

  Unable to help it, I walk over and pull him into me. He hugs me back tightly, without reservation, something we both clearly need. Placing a kiss at the top of his head, I pull away.

  “No matter what, I’m proud of you. You know that?”

  “Yeah.”

  I tip his chin up. “Saw your video last night. Did you edit that new intro yourself?”

  “Yeah! You watched it?”

  “I watch them all.”

  “Really?”

  His happiness means everything to me. As does the woman just a room away.

  “Let me go talk to her, and maybe you and I can get lunch after. Just the two of us.”

  “K. Is she sad ‘cause you don’t kiss her in the laundry room anymore?”

  Gaping, I stare down at him at a loss for words. My mother is right. We’re idiots. While we were falling in love, our son was watching. It doesn’t matter what we did behind closed doors, he was witness to it all, which is why he felt our split as much as we did.

  “Dante, that’s private adult stuff.”

  “K. Can we have tacos?”

  That was way too easy. But relieved, I answer with a bribe. “Anything you want.”

  “I’m in trouble. Mommy might not let me go.”

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “K.”

  “Don’t interrupt us unless it’s an emergency.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Making my way toward her room, I rope in all my apprehension and knock on her door.

  “Hey,” I hear her say when I poke my head in. She’s sitting on the side of her bed, crumbling a tissue in her hand and blotting her eyes.

  I kneel down in front of her and grab her hands holding them between mine. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

  “It’s not fine. Everything’s fucked.”

  “I know,” she says, a tear cresting on her cheek before falling, “we got too messy.”

  “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

  “Me neither.” She slides a hand down my jaw. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. You did everything right. From the minute you stepped up to my door. You’re right. I gave you hell and not enough of what you deserved. But I do respect you, Troy, and I trust you, for whatever it’s worth.”

  “It’s worth a lot,” I say, trying my best to keep my shit together.

  “He knows we’re not okay. He asks me every day what’s going on, and I don’t know what to tell him.”

  “He knows about us.”

  “I know,” she says softly. “I just keep avoiding his questions.”

  “It’s time to stop. We’ll tell him together that sometimes grown-ups fight and don’t always know how to fix it. But if they’re family, they find a way to work it out. And we will.”

  She nods, looking more forlorn than she did when I walked into the room.

  “Troy, I don’t ever want him to lose you because of me.”

  “He won’t. I just needed to step back, for me.”

  She worries her bottom lip and nods.

  “We apologize and move on. If we’re okay, he’s okay.”

  “Right.” She nods. “You’re right.”

  “It just feels shitty now because we got knocked out of sorts. We’ll fix it.”

  “Okay,” she straightens, and exhales a stressed breath.

  “Okay.”

  I stand and look down at her, and she tugs at my hand, sliding her fingers between mine. “I’ve always credited myself with having it together, having it under control.” Her face crumbles. “I’m not feeling so together anymore.”

  “You and me both. It’s just a rough time. It’ll pass. Let’s just concentrate on him for the moment, okay?” I pull my hand away from hers and see the sting in her eyes. Touching her right now means playing with more fire and I refuse to let my son burn again. He’s suffered enough. And not just now. He’s paid for years of our back and forth, our mistakes.

  “Yes. Of course.”

  “Okay. He got in trouble today at school?”

  She nods and I resist the urge to brush the hair from her shoulder. “Let me take this one. Why don’t you call Parker, go out, and get some TLC? Have some wine. I’ve got him.”

  “Yeah, that sounds…I could use that. You sure?”

  “Positive.”

  “Thank you. I’ll, I’m…God, I’m a mess.”

  “You’re beautiful,” I whisper, unable to help myself as I push a dark red lock away from her shoulder. Imploring blue eyes stare up at me before I make a quick exit out of her room, fists clenching. It’s then I know, it doesn’t matter that my mind is determined to quit her, my heart will never catch up.

  Kayla’s Southern Style Potato Salad

  Property Manager, Texas

  Makes 8 servings

  45 minutes

  4 Lbs. Red Potatoes – scrubbed & cut into bite-size pieces

  4 Large Eggs

  1 1/4 Cups Mayonnaise

  1/2 Cup Finely Chopped Green Onion Tops

  1 3/4 Tsp. Salt

  1/2 Tsp. Celery Seeds

  Boil potatoes with skin on until tender but not too soft. Drain and set aside to cool.

  Boil eggs for 12 minutes after water comes to a boil. Peel and let cool. Cut into bite-size pieces.

  In a large bowl, mix mayonnaise, salt, celery seeds and onion until thoroughly mixed. Add potatoes and eggs. Mix gently until blended.

  Serve at room temperature for up to 2 hours after making. Refrigerate leftovers.

  It tastes best when served at room temperature but is delicious cold, too.

  Clarissa

  Parker and I spend the day getting our nails done and opening a few bottles of wine. Parker simply listens and nods. The best type of friend can linger in the dark with you awhile without trying to shed light. So, instead of trying to point out an upside or spout off some words of encouragement, she simply held my hand and dwelled there with me. And I felt better for it. Nothing resolved, but with a polished set of nails and slight wine buzz, I walk through my front door to see the living room empty.

  It’s a little after eight. I assume Dante’s halfway through his book with Troy and make my way toward his bedroom. Just as I’m about to open his door, I’m stopped short by the conversation on the other side.

  “—Sometimes, women need men to be strong, so they aren’t so scared themselves. But if you find one you really care about, you can tell them what you’re afraid of, and they’ll have your back too.”

  “Do you have Mommy’s back?”

  “Yep and yours until I take my last breath. That’s a promise.”

  “Then Mommy and me have your back, Troy. We promise too.”

  “Good to know, bud.”

  “Hey, Troy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you going away like you said?”

  “Probably.”

  “K.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll never leave you long.”

  “A week, two tops,” Dante squeaks as if they’ve had this conversation before.

  “Right.”

  “And you’ll call me every day,” Dante reminds.

  “That’s right. Every day.”

  “‘Cause I’m your sun, and you’re my moon, and where I go, you’re right behind me.”

  “Right.”

  “‘Cause you love me.”

  He pauses before giving a hoarse reply. “So much, bud.”

 
; “Don’t be sad, Troy. One week, two tops.”

  “Right.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you too. Goodnight.”

  Hand over my mouth, I race to the bathroom and turn the fan and shower on. I’m still crying uncontrollably a minute later when Troy knocks on the door. I can’t bring myself to open it.

  “Hey,” I say, a clear rattle in my voice.

  “Hey, when did you get in?”

  I stifle my cries in my hand, knowing I’m taking too damn long to reply.

  “J-j-just a minute ago…I wanted to take a quick shower before I tucked him in,” my voice cracks and I wince hoping he didn’t hear it. He pauses outside the door, and I know I’ve given myself away. He’s still punishing me, and for him, I’ll endure it, in hopes one day he’ll forgive me. In hopes that one day, he’ll look at me the way he did just weeks before. Parker told me today that he waited over six years for me to see him for who he really is. It’s now my loyalty in question and my own redemption I’m after.

  “I have a shift later. I’m going to head out.”

  “Okay, goodnight.”

  “Night.”

  Troy

  The phone rings just as I get out of class, and I see Clarissa’s name and stop in the middle of the hall. She never calls anymore.

  “Hey, everything okay?”

  Silence on the other end of the line, followed by a sniffle, has me on high alert. “Clarissa?”

  “Troy.” This cry is unlike anything I’ve ever heard. I make a beeline for my mom’s truck.

  “I’m on my way. What happened?”

  “I happened. I…j-just, I’m sorry.”

  “What for?”

  “Can…can you come over?”

  “I’m coming. Is Dante okay?”

  “Oh, he’s fine. I’m sorry if I worried you. I’m fine,” another sob. “I just…I’m sorry. I’m sorry…for so much.”

  “Clarissa, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “You’re on your way?”

  “Yes, I’ll be there in ten.”