He was an amazing father. If he fell in love again…married again…he would want more children. And Beth would be a wonderful big sister.
Julia wouldn’t take that away from them.
Chapter Sixteen
Nick stared out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Julia as she supervised Beth’s evening riding lesson.
A glimpse had to be enough. For now.
He’d asked Julia for the truth and yet hadn’t been prepared for its impact. In the split second of silence that followed her stunning disclosure, a chasm had opened up between them.
Julia had been honest with him but Nick hadn’t been honest with himself or the depth of his feelings. Somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with her. The realization had broadsided his heart. By the time he regained consciousness, Julia had misinterpreted his silence for doubt.
He’d spent several sleepless nights since then asking God what to do.
Nick was well acquainted with loss. He knew that Julia had to choose to turn her pain over to the only One who could set her free her from the burden she’d been carrying.
The front door slammed and Nick frowned as he stepped into the hall to see what the commotion was about.
“Daddy!” Beth skidded toward him.
Nick caught her in his arms, quickly checking knees and elbows for scrapes. Other than the tears streaming down his daughter’s face, there didn’t seem to be any visible signs of injury.
“What happened, Tig?”
“Is Julia mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”
Dread pooled in Nick’s stomach. Although he and Julia hadn’t spoken since the night in the barn, she had continued Beth’s riding lessons in the evenings. No matter how she felt about him, Nick couldn’t believe Julia would say or do anything to hurt Beth.
“I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But Julia said…” Beth gasped out the words. “She isn’t coming to the show with us this weekend. She has other p-plans.” She burrowed her face against his chest.
Nick gathered her closer and closed his eyes. He should have seen this coming. Julia had never said she would attend the show. Guilt had forced her into a self-imposed exile after the accident. It was one thing to help Beth prepare for the horse show behind the scenes, safe within the shelter of her own property. Another to expose herself to the stares and speculation of the same people who had once cheered for her from the stands.
“It’s all right, Beth. I’ll be there to help you.”
“You don’t understand,” Beth wailed. “It’s Mother’s Day and all the riders are supposed to give a rose to their moms. If Julia isn’t there, how am I supposed to give her one?”
Mother’s Day roses.
He drew Beth to the couch in the living room and she melted against him.
“Julia isn’t your mom, sweetheart.”
Beth sniffled. “She would be if you got married.”
The bones in Nick’s body liquefied, making him glad he was sitting down. “It’s not always that easy.”
“But she likes you and you like her. I can tell.” Fresh tears leaked out the corners of Beth’s eyes. “But maybe she doesn’t like me anymore.”
“Julia likes you very much.”
“Then why won’t she come with us?”
Nick sent up a silent SOS. He didn’t want to break a confidence, but Beth needed to know there was a reason for Julia’s decision. “Do you remember how sad we were after Mom died?”
Beth nodded. “My heart hurt all the time.”
Nick’s throat tightened. “So did mine.”
“Did Julia’s mom…die?”
“No,” Nick said swiftly. “But losing someone isn’t the only thing that can make a person sad. Julia was hurt in a riding accident a few years ago and she had to give up a lot of the things she wanted to do.”
“She doesn’t look hurt.”
“Not on the outside, but I think her heart still hurts, just like ours did. We have to give Julia time. Not push her to do things she isn’t ready for yet, like the horse show.” Or risking her heart again.
“You and I both know that God is the only One who can heal people on the inside. He helped us and we have to believe He’ll help Julia, too.” Nick took a deep breath but it didn’t ease the weight pressing against his heart. “We have to pray. That’s all we can do right now.”
“Okay.” Beth lifted her chin and Nick saw a determined gleam replace the sorrow in the velvet-brown eyes. “I’ll pray.”
“You’re going to let me use that one?”
Julia smiled at the awestruck look on Beth’s face. Her mother had sold most of the tack before she’d moved away, but for some reason had left the show saddle Julia had saved an entire year to buy.
“If you’d like. It needs a good cleaning, though.” Julia set the saddle down on the blanket spread out in the grass.
“Are you kidding?” Beth’s fingers traced the satin-smooth leather. “I love it.”
“There’s a matching bridle, too.”
“Was it Summer’s?”
“Yes.” Julia wasn’t surprised by the question. Summer had become a favorite topic when she and Beth got together in the evenings to prepare for the upcoming show. What had come as a surprise was that Julia no longer minded talking about the horse she had once owned. She accepted it as another one of the amazing changes that had bloomed out of the conversations she’d been having with God recently.
Julia had always shied away from remembering the past, not realizing that by shutting out the painful memories, she’d closed out the good ones, as well.
Beth picked up a soft cloth and followed Julia’s lead, rubbing oil into the leather. “Summer liked to jump, didn’t she? I can tell because she looks happy in the pictures.”
Julia wondered how many people would think it strange to hear a horse described as happy. She, on the other hand, understood perfectly. “It was her favorite.”
“Star likes it, too. Dad said he’s going to take a lot of pictures of us on Saturday.”
Julia tensed.
As the day of the show drew closer, she’d wondered if Beth would try to convince her to change her mind about accompanying them.
“Dad and I are going out for ice cream tonight. Do you want to come?”
Julia blinked at the sudden change in topic, even as the thought of spending time with Nick caused her pulse to skip a beat. Ever since she’d told him about the accident, he had watched Beth’s riding lessons from the fence that bordered the two properties.
Julia told herself—repeatedly—that she didn’t mind. Nick had encouraged her to forgive herself for the mistakes she’d made, but it wouldn’t change the high price she’d paid for them. A price she couldn’t ask Nick to pay, too.
“I can’t.” Julia refused to let her gaze drift to the house across the pasture. “I have a lot of work to finish by Friday.”
As the temperature rose and the number of horse shows increased, it was always a challenge this time of year to keep up with the orders that came in.
“Okay.”
Okay? Julia felt a pinch of disappointment that Beth didn’t seem, well, more disappointed.
A bell clanged and Belle’s ears lifted at the sound. Apparently Nick had discovered that his daughter’s ingenious device for calling the dog home worked well for eleven-year-old girls, too.
“I think Dad is ready to go.” Beth bit her lip, obviously torn between going out for ice cream or staying to clean tack.
Julia hid a smile. Only a girl who loved horses would look so conflicted. “Go ahead. I’ll finish up here.”
“You’re going to put everything back in the barn, right?”
Julia found the question a bit odd. “Right.”
“Okay.” Beth bent down and gave her a quick hug. “See you tomorrow.”
Julia focused on the task, pretending not to notice when the Delaneys’ car cruised past. Half an hour later, she anchored the saddle against one hip and c
arried it back to the barn. It was strange, but she’d noticed that the more she worked with Star, the better her leg felt.
The mare rattled the stall door when Julia entered the building.
“As if you don’t get enough attention.” Julia’s laughter faded when she saw an enormous blue ribbon fashioned out of cardboard and bright blue tissue paper. But it was the words carefully printed at the top of the ribbon, spelled out in silver glitter, that stole her breath.
Best Neighbor.
The gesture was unexpected. Sweet. And so…Beth.
Julia knew it should have made her smile, but instead her vision blurred as she faced the truth.
She wanted to be more than a neighbor.
Chapter Seventeen
“What’s the grin for?” Nick sat down on the swing next to Beth. “Did you get extra chocolate chips in your chocolate-chip ice cream?”
“Nope.” She rolled her tongue around the base of the cone to catch a drip. “Just because.”
Just because.
Nick’s eyes narrowed.
Why didn’t he believe her?
When Beth came home after her riding lesson, she told him that Julia had turned down her invitation to go out for ice cream. It was the cheerful tone in which she’d said it that struck Nick as odd. For someone who loved to spend time with Julia, he would have expected Beth’s mood to reflect her disappointment.
He’d been more than a little disappointed himself.
“Because…” he prompted.
Beth’s freckles began to glow.
“Okay.” Nick crossed his arms. “What did you do?”
“Do?”
“Yes, do. The freckles don’t lie. You’ve been up to something.”
Beth became fascinated with a ribbon of clouds unfurling over the park.
“Now your ears are pink.” Nick braced himself. “Out with it.”
“I made Julia a blue ribbon that said Best Neighbor and I hung it in the barn where she would find it,” Beth admitted in a rush.
“You do remember what I said—” Nick resisted the urge to add the words two days ago “—that we have to pray for Julia.”
“I did pray.”
“And let God work in her heart.” He didn’t resist the urge to emphasize the word God. “Remember?”
“I remember.” Beth’s forehead puckered. Nick sensed a “but” coming. “But—” He hid a smile. “Granna says that sometimes God wants us to be His hands on earth.”
His mother did say that. Frequently. In fact, one of Claire Delaney Owens’s favorite sayings was, “God likes to use our arms to hug people.”
“She’s right.” Nick couldn’t deny it.
“That’s what I remembered when I prayed about Julia.” Beth peeked up at him through a fringe of silky copper bangs. “I know that God is working on Julia’s inside, but it doesn’t mean we can’t do something on her outside, does it?”
The question punched the air out of Nick’s lungs.
Out of the mouths of babes. Or in this case, precocious eleven-year-old girls!
He’d decided that giving Julia time to work through the past was the best decision. Knew that grief and guilt could paralyze a person’s faith. But now, looking back, Nick realized it had been his mother’s patience, coupled with the simple, loving acts of kindness from fellow believers, that had helped him find his way out of the darkness after Liz died.
Nick hadn’t wanted to get in God’s way, but what if Beth was right? Julia had been alone for a long time. Maybe instead of space, she needed someone to care enough to trespass over her boundaries.
“So the blue ribbon you made was for Julia’s…outside?” Nick guessed.
“She hasn’t gotten one for a while. I thought she’d like it.”
The sparkle in her eyes warned Nick she had something else up her little pink sleeve. “Let me guess. You have another idea.”
Beth reached into her backpack and presented him with a bright pink notebook and a glitter-filled pen. “It’s all in here.”
Nick wasn’t sure whether to feel proud or terrified by the fact that she had a written plan.
He thumbed open the cover and sucked in an astonished breath when he saw the next idea on her list. “Beth, I don’t think this one is…possible.”
“But that’s the best one,” Beth said serenely. “And I’m already working on it.” She tapped the tip of the pen against number three to refocus his attention. “You can be in charge of this one.”
Nick didn’t feel as if he were in charge at all.
But on second thought, maybe that was a good thing.
“Julia?”
Julia heard the kitchen door rattle and glanced at her watch.
Four o’clock.
Where had the day gone?
She’d sat down at the sewing machine right after breakfast and worked straight through lunch. When Julia had agreed to fill the order, she hadn’t anticipated her evenings being taken up with riding lessons and all the last-minute details that needed attention before a show.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“Okay.” Beth sang out the word and Julia’s spirits lifted.
Order or not, she didn’t mind giving up an evening for Beth.
Julia flipped off the light on the sewing machine and straightened up her work space.
A loud thump rattled the walls.
“What’s going on down there?” she called. “Is Belle rearranging the living-room furniture again?”
“No.” A giggle followed. “Can I turn the radio on, Julia?”
“I suppose so.”
Seconds later, a familiar country-and-western tune spilled out of the speakers, filling every nook and cranny in the house.
More thumps. Maybe Belle and Beth were practicing line dancing while they waited for her.
Hopefully they wouldn’t expect her to join in, Julia thought as she pushed her tired limbs down the stairs and rounded the corner into the kitchen.
The transformed kitchen.
“Surprise!” Beth grinned as Julia struggled to take in the change in her surroundings.
A vibrant peacock-blue silk tablecloth had been thrown over the plain, beige linen one she’d put on that morning. Colorful bowls surrounded a trio of chunky candles. The breeze stirred a collection of paper lanterns strung from the light fixture.
“What is all this?”
“It’s Chinese food.” Beth grinned. “Dad makes it for special occasions.”
Dad?
“We thought you might need a break from cooking.”
Julia’s breath stalled as Nick appeared in her line of vision. The fact they hadn’t spoken for several days didn’t lessen the impact of seeing him face-to-face.
“Yes. Are you surprised?” Beth tugged her toward the table.
“Yes.” Surprised. Speechless. Shaken. Julia wasn’t sure which one to choose.
“I’ll sit here.” Beth claimed one of the chairs and pointed to the opposite side of the table. “You can have that one.”
Which put her right next to Nick. Close enough that if she moved a fraction of an inch, their shoulders would be touching. As it was, she could smell the tangy scent of his cologne.
“Would you like to give thanks or should I?” He looked at her, and unexpected heat scratched at the back of Julia’s eyes.
“You can.”
“We hold hands when we pray.” Beth reached across the table.
Julia could only nod mutely as Nick’s fingers wove through hers. She felt the warmth and strength of his hand. And didn’t want to let go.
“Lord, we thank You for your many blessings. For this food. For friends and family. But most of all, for Your love for us.”
“And that You answer our prayers,” Beth added in a whisper.
Nick cleared his throat. “And that You answer our prayers.”
“So…” Julia fumbled to unwrap the pair of chopsticks next to her plate. “What is the special occasion? The horse show tomorro
w?”
“No.” Beth’s pigtails swung in time with the decisive shake of her head. “This.”
Julia frowned. “This?”
“Uh-huh. This,” Beth repeated, as if no other explanation was necessary. “Right, Dad?”
“Right.” Nick aimed a look at his daughter that Julia couldn’t quite interpret. And then he looked at her—with a slow smile that she was suddenly afraid to interpret.
Nick took the dishes over to the sink and rinsed them off. From his vantage point at the window, he could see Beth towing Julia toward the barn, chattering all the way.
All afternoon, when he should have been considering what to do about the rubber ball that Sean O’Grady’s Labrador retriever had swallowed, Nick was wondering if their plan would backfire.
Beth had mentioned that Julia was trying to finish a special order for a customer. Her idea—number three on the list—had been to take Julia out for pizza. Nick figured she would come up with a reason to decline the invitation. That left one option. If Julia wouldn’t go to a restaurant, the restaurant would have to come to Julia.
Right up until the moment he’d been stringing paper lanterns from the chandelier, Nick resisted the urge to make a quick getaway. But all his fears had been put to rest when Julia saw the table set for three.
Dinner seemed like such a simple thing. But when was the last time someone had gone out of their way to make Julia feel special? Loved?
Thank You, Lord, that Beth saw what I didn’t.
No wonder Jesus had encouraged His disciples to have the faith of a child.
He dried his hands off on the towel and stepped outside.
The trailer he’d rented to take Star to the show in the morning was parked next to the barn. Washed, waxed and ready to go the next morning.
Every night, Beth had prayed that Julia would come to the show, but so far Nick had seen no evidence that she was going to change her mind. It was a struggle. He knew he should prepare his daughter for the possibility that Julia wouldn’t show up, but he didn’t want to crush her simple but steadfast faith, either.
A Mother's Gift (Love Inspired) Page 18
