HATE ME AGAIN: a bad boy romance novel

by Jaxson Kidman

  I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and left my bedroom.

  The craziest part of it all was that Violet was everywhere in my apartment. Empty beer bottles on the counter. An empty pizza box. Some chick flick on my TV droning on about finding the right one. The smell of her in my bathroom. Water on the tiles from her shower. My dresser drawer on the floor in the bedroom where I dumped it. The ashes in the sink of the letter I wrote to her and burned.

  Her spot on the couch where I crashed with a fresh beer.

  Hours collected and moved along as I sat in silence.

  I only got up one time, and that was to check on her.

  Violet was sound asleep in my bed. Right where I wanted her. Right where she belonged. Right where I could never force her and hold her. She needed to make that decision on her own and brace herself for me to hurt her again and again.

  I stood there, arms folded, and said the only thing that came to mind, even if it was just a fucking whisper.

  “I fucking love you too…”

  18

  Totally Busted

  (Violet)

  I walked out of the bedroom and saw the blanket sloppily thrown over the back of the couch. I checked the bathroom and that was empty.

  Mason was gone.

  He’d left nothing but a scribbled note on the counter.

  Gone to the shop to help Hunter. Later.

  I thumbed at the ink and went to the sink. It was clean now. Last night there had been paper burning in there. Letters that he’d written to me and to Kate. It sort of floored me that he still wrote letters, and even more so that he burned those letters. Never savoring a single memory or thought of Kate or myself. The story of Kate still floated above my head and out of reach, but at the same time, the story of myself could have been the same.

  Walking to the large window in the living room, I caught a glimpse of my reflection.

  It had to end with Davis. Once and for all. I needed to focus on myself and what I wanted. I wasn’t going to be able to cure Dad’s cancer, either. No matter how many times I visited him or tried to clean up after him or how many times I offered Mom help, the cancer would remain. Same for my career. It was up to me to decide what I wanted next.

  Mason made me feel empowered and able to think clearly.

  Growing up, I remembered times when Mom would tell me that there was a devil and an angel on each shoulder. The devil would whisper temptations into your ear. Tell you ways that the wrong could be right, but when you got caught, the devil would slip away, laughing. The angel, however would always speak the truth and be the voice of reason. I remembered seeing cartoons with that stuff, too. As a teenager the whole angel versus devil thing played out as friends passed around cigarettes, pot, and talked about having sex. I listened to the angel so much that the devil was reduced to a mumbling whisper.

  Since meeting Mason, though, the devil roared. And when he roared, I felt good. I felt alive.

  Standing there at the window, I looked to my left, wanting to see that angel. Wanting to hear that angel. Wanting her to tell me the laundry list of things wrong with Mason and why I needed to get changed, leave, and never come back again. Ever.

  But you know what happened?

  I couldn’t hear a thing.

  The angel and the devil had become one.

  And that scared me.

  I was willing to risk getting hurt to be with Mason.

  I was crazy.

  That’s all I could tell myself as I got dressed and prepared to face my own apartment where I knew Davis would be waiting for me.

  My phone buzzed as I left Mason’s apartment.

  It was Victoria calling.

  “Hey you,” I said.

  “Where the fuck are you?” she shouted.

  “What?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Why?”

  “Are you…wait…Violet?”

  “Victoria?”

  “Where are you?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me, but I’m heading back home right now.”

  “I wouldn’t believe you? You wouldn’t believe me…I’ve been worried sick about you.”

  “Why?”

  “Davis called me.”

  “Okay…”

  “He said you split on him and he was worried you were hurt.”

  “He did what?”

  “What happened?”

  I got into my car and gave Victoria the two-minute rundown of what all had happened with Davis and Mason at my parents’ house.

  “Holy shit,” Victoria said. “And I thought I had drama in my dating life.”

  “So Davis called you and said I was missing?”

  “Yeah. And he said he would find you and let me know about it. He didn’t want me to call you, I guess. I don’t know. It was weird. Something was off about him.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Things are…it’s just not good right now with him. I regret even getting involved a second time.”

  “But not a second time with Mason?” Victoria asked.

  “Stop. Me and him aren’t…”

  “Yeah? Where did you sleep last night?”

  “It’s going to sound worse than it is.”

  “Try me.”

  “I slept in Mason’s bed.”

  “Told you!”

  “No,” I said. “I didn’t…he slept on his couch. He was helping me. That’s it. Davis was crazy. I thought Mason was going to kill him. I feel…”

  “Well, Davis is stirring up whatever pot he has his hands in,” Victoria said. “He called me, and then I called over at the shop Mason owns or whatever.”

  “No…”

  “I talked to Hunter. Oh, damn, does he have a sexy voice. He said he hadn’t seen Mason. Or you. So I said ‘fuck it’ and just called you.”

  “And I answered,” I said. “So nothing is wrong. Davis is trying to make me look bad.”

  “Well…”

  “Victoria, stop,” I said. “It’s not that simple. I’m going home right now to finish this off. That’s all that matters. You shouldn’t have been involved.”

  “Speaking of involved,” she said. “We’re good on round two with our app. If you can set up a call or meeting, I’m ready.”

  “Perfect. Let me settle this mess, then we’ll go forward.”

  “So, does Hunter have a girlfriend?” Victoria asked with a giggle.

  “I’m not going there,” I said and ended the call.

  I drove faster.

  I drove with anger.

  Davis had really started to call people about me? Sure, maybe it was wrong to let certain things occur the way they did last night. But he didn’t have to drag other people into it.

  By the time I got back to my apartment, I was beyond livid. I was ready for a fight. Like, a legit fight. But then I stood at the door and waited. I thought about the parking lot. Just then, I turned and looked through the window at the ground-level door. I saw Davis’s black car. A car he had on a lease that he could barely afford. A car draped in luxury to make him feel better about himself. Next to his car was some purple speedster thing. Not a big deal, right? Except that car had the same license plate frame as Davis’s. From the same dumb company that sold basically mass amounts of junk to other companies and people.

  Oh…hell…no.

  I opened the door carefully. Now I was on the prowl. A silent prowl at that.

  I walked through my apartment—my own goddamn apartment—to the bedroom door. That’s when the slow and secretive game was over. I threw open the door and flicked on the lights.

  Sure as anything, there was Davis in bed with another woman.

  Her head rested on his flabby chest, both asleep. At least, they were asleep for the first few seconds.

  Davis opened his eyes, and they went wide like in a cartoon. He popped up, throwing the woman off him. She rolled to her back, her breasts flapping around. That’s when she woke up and grabbed the sheets, pulling them away from Davis. He rolled out of t
he bed, crashing to the floor, grabbing for his pants.

  “Violet!” he yelled. “What the fuck?”

  “What the fuck?” I repeated. “This is my bed. This is my apartment.”

  “Yours?” the woman asked. “He told me it was his new place! That you dumped him!”

  “Hey, hey, hey,” Davis yelled. “Everyone shut up.”

  “Get out,” I said. I was surprisingly calm. Like, really calm. “Both of you. Get the fuck out of here. Right now.”

  I stood in the doorway as the two of them scrambled to get dressed. I didn’t move, I didn’t blink, I wanted them to be uncomfortable. Yet in some way, I knew in my heart that I wasn’t a saint in all of this. Not with what happened the night before with Mason. Had he not shown some restraint…

  “Violet, can we talk?” Davis asked.

  “No,” I said. “You were a mistake.”

  “I’m really sorry,” the woman said. “He…”

  “Shut the fuck up, Leslie,” Davis growled.

  “Hell no,” I said.

  I grabbed a brush from my dresser and chucked it at Davis. It spun and hit him perfectly against his cheek with the bristles first. He screamed and grabbed his face.

  “Fucking asshole!” I yelled. “For everything!”

  “You were fucking someone else too!” Davis yelled. “I know it! You bitch!”

  “Come here, Davis,” Leslie said. She opened her arms to him.

  I took a step at her, and she winked at me.

  When Davis was within reach, she wound up and threw a punch, hitting him right where the brush hit him.

  “That’s for lying to me,” she said. “I don’t sleep with taken men!”

  “Now get the fuck out,” I said. “Before I call the police. This is my apartment.”

  Davis grabbed his stuff and held his face.

  “For the record, I’m not his first,” Leslie said.

  “Shut it,” Davis said.

  He passed by me, and I grabbed his shirt. “Not the first?”

  “Let me go,” he said.

  “There were others.”

  “We’re done, Violet.”

  “No shit.”

  I let him go, for good.

  Davis left, and Leslie wasn’t far behind. She was at the front door when I chased her down and made the mistake of asking what she meant by saying she wasn’t the first.

  “The hotel,” Leslie said. “That’s where he did everything. Work stuff.”

  “The hotel…the bar…”

  “Yeah,” Leslie said. “I swear, if I knew…”

  “The doorman,” I whispered.

  “What?”

  “He took me there not too long ago. And something happened with the doorman.”

  “Yeah,” Leslie said. “He knew all the important staff there to keep everything quiet. He was slick. Even with me, I guess. Told me you ran off with an old boyfriend. And I believed him. How fucking stupid.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re fucking stupid,” I said. “Now get out of my apartment.”

  It felt so good to say that. All of it. To see Davis go and be gone. To see his little plaything rush out of the apartment knowing she had been played.

  They had been totally busted…but the same could be said about my heart.

  I was totally busted. I only threw that brush at Davis because of what he said to Leslie. Truthfully, on the inside, I felt real shitty over how it all happened. I had been in the wrong myself…but Davis had been using the hotel as a fuck-pad. Then he’d come home to me…

  Just like he used to do.

  I wished I was able to suck it all in and not get upset, but after I made some coffee and sat down, the tears came. I fumbled for my phone and sent a text to Victoria.

  SHIT HIT THE FAN NEED YOU HERE NOW PLEASE

  And you know what a good friend does?

  Text back with the thumbs up emoji and shows up less than thirty minutes later with fresh coffee and a box of doughnuts.

  Victoria grabbed my dark purple coffee mug and put it in the sink.

  “Fresh,” she whispered as she took the lid off my new coffee. “So fresh. Drink it in.”

  She opened the box of doughnuts. A mix of glazed, chocolate glazed, Boston creme, and even one with rainbow sprinkles. All my favorites.

  Victoria then sat down. “Spill.”

  I sucked in a breath and let it all out.

  Davis in bed with another woman. Davis had been cheating on me for a long time, probably since the beginning of our relationship. Yet at the same time, I felt like I’d been cheating since I saw Mason so much and I let so much happen between us.

  When I got done talking, I grabbed a Boston creme and jammed it into my mouth.

  Victoria sat there, staring.

  The silence was brutal.

  “Well?” I asked. “Tell me I’m a bad person.”

  “He made you orgasm twice…once with his breath and once by just talking?”

  “That’s what you picked up on?” I asked.

  Victoria smiled. “Violet. Look at me. The whole Davis thing was stupid from day one. We both know that. You were reaching for something comfortable. Now you know who he really is. The first time, you broke up was because you wouldn’t sleep with him. Now you’re older, and you slept with him, and it was the same shit. You didn’t love him. Your parents hated him. There’s no loss there.”

  “Right,” I said. “But Mason…”

  “What are you so afraid of?”

  “Because he hurt me,” I said. “And he’s going to hurt me again. I know it. But I can’t look away. I can’t walk away. I can’t stomach the idea of not knowing everything about him because I want to be the one that stands there when he tells me everything.”

  “So then, stand there,” Victoria said. “Be there. And if it doesn’t work out, then you tried. There’s no ring on your finger, Violet. You can do whatever you want. And the same thing goes with your father, too. He’s a fighter. He’s going to do everything he can to win his fight. But you know that by you living your life…that’s one thing that’s going to help him.”

  “I know,” I said. “Dammit, I know. It’s just like everything fell apart on me.”

  “So pick it up and fix it,” Victoria said.

  I waved my hands. “Show me your drawings. I know you brought them.”

  Victoria smiled big. We moved the conversation to business. And it was a good decision. Everything Victoria had been working on was beautiful.

  “I’m going to take pics and send them over right now,” I said. “Is that okay?”

  “Sure.”

  I sent a handful of pictures over to our finance guy. He responded with thumbs up and money bags. Then a second text saying he’d call me tomorrow.

  I showed Victoria.

  “I think we’re good,” I said.

  “Really good,” she said. “How’s your other app coming?”

  “Slow,” I said. “My fault. I feel lost.”

  “Then get found,” Victoria said. “And speaking of finding, any chance you can find me that Hunter guy’s cell? Or should I just show up at the shop?”

  I laughed and shook my head. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

  “No I cannot. That’s how I get found, Violet. I remind myself of life. And what feels good. So, what feels good to you?”

  “Right now? Mason. That stupid asshole I hate so much.”

  “Good,” she said. “You can have some stupid asshole hate sex.”

  That actually sounded really good. So fucking good.

  I bit my lip and eyed the box of doughnuts.

  Victoria shut the box and pulled it away.

  “Here’s the deal,” she said. “I’m leaving. My best friend duty has been fulfilled. You’re going to pack some shit and leave this apartment. Forget about everything get something you want.”

  “My father…”

  “Is home resting. And
if he gets sick, they call and you go to him. Don’t be like this, Violet. You waited how long to sleep with someone? You sheltered yourself for so long. Stop doing that.”

  “He’s going to hurt me. I have to accept that.”

  “And maybe he won’t,” Victoria said. “Or maybe you’re the right one for him. Look, I’m done talking about it. Make a decision. If you go, go all-out. If you stay, throw those cheating, sex-smelling sheets out. If you need me, I’ll be stalking that sexy voiced Hunter.”

  Victoria winked and blew me a kiss.

  I ended up where I started, alone at the table.

  Deep in thought.

  This was going to be all or nothing for me. I couldn’t be on a string anymore with Mason. If the past really hurt him that much and he wasn’t willing to share…

  I’m his wife.

  Those three words echoed in my head again.

  Suddenly, I was on the move. Racing through my bedroom, forgetting about the messy sheets where Davis had fucked Leslie. I packed a bag. Two bags.

  And on the way out of the bedroom, I grabbed the brush I threw at Davis.

  Just in case Mason really decided to piss me off.

  19

  Cherry Pop Part Deux

  (Mason)

  “Two new contracts signed,” I said. I spun the folder around and slid it across Hunter’s desk. Well, my desk. My old desk. The one I gave to Hunter when I handed him my business. “And two more coming tomorrow.”

  Hunter raised an eyebrow. “Damn.”

  “So, maybe call a meeting with the guys tomorrow and go over the specs, dates, and budgets.”

  “No,” Hunter said. He shut the folder.

  “No?”

  “You’re going to do it.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “This is the first part of your expansion,” Hunter said.

  “Hunter…”

  “You belong in the thick of it,” Hunter said. “I want to hear your voice again, Mason. I want to see that magic. Plus, I’ll be busy with the contractors and lawyers.”

  “The what?”

  Hunter opened a folder of his own and showed it to me. “Your investment at work, Mason. I’ve been figuring this out for a while now. It’s time.”

  I nodded. “When do I get my desk back?”