by Robin Roseau
"No," I said when I saw it. "I'm done."
"You are going in that water," she said. "And you are swimming laps."
"I can't, Karen."
"Throw her in, Serena," Karen said.
"All right!" I said. "Suit? Please?"
They had thought of everything. There was a one-piece suit waiting for me in the locker room. They let me change, but they watched me warily, lest I bolt. I wouldn't have gotten far if I had tried. Then I followed Karen back to the edge of the pool. She brought me to the deep end.
"You will dive in and swim laps, or we will throw you in and you will swim laps," she said.
I jumped in and began swimming.
"Faster!" Karen yelled at me. I stepped it up. "Faster!"
I stopped and looked at her. "I'm not an Olympic swimmer."
"You are a werefox," she said. "And you have more energy than you are giving me. Faster."
I began swimming again.
"Faster," she said. And then she threw a tennis ball at me, bouncing it off my head. It hurt. She threw two more, and I began swimming as fast as I could.
Every time I slowed down, she threw tennis balls at me. They hurt!
She made me swim until long past the point when I thought I couldn't swim anymore. I knew I was going slower, but she had stopped throwing tennis balls. I thought perhaps she had run out, as most of them were floating in the water, but I glanced up and saw she held three in her hands. She raised a hand to throw one at me, and I put renewed energy into swimming.
Finally, well into the deep end, my body gave out. It happened from one stroke to the next. I went from swimming to sinking, and I didn't even care.
Then Karen was in the water next to me, pulling me back to the surface. I sputtered, and she held me. "I've got you," she said. "You're okay."
I was too weak to even clutch at her. She handed me up to Serena, who pulled me from the water. Then the two of them held me at the side of the pool while I lay limply in their arms.
"Was that what you wanted?" Karen asked.
I turned my head to look at her. "Yes. Do it again tomorrow."
"Yes," she said. "This afternoon, we spar. Tomorrow I'll really push you."
I laughed weakly.
They fed me a little, then steadied me as I walked to the showers. When I was done, they had fresh clothing for me. I sat on the bench and pulled it on slowly.
* * * *
Serena coordinated with Elisabeth. She and Lara were both waiting for me in the conference room when I arrived, and there was more food for me. I could barely walk, but I made it there without help.
"Enforcer," I said. "I thought this would just be the two of us."
"You are going to be stubborn," she said. "And we are going to be clear."
I sighed and sat where Elisabeth gestured. They let me grab some food. Elisabeth asked Karen, "Did she drop?"
"Technically, she sank."
"Good," said Elisabeth. "Do it again tomorrow."
Karen laughed. "That's what she said."
"And she should spar with Angel."
"Not yet," Karen said. "Angel needs control first."
Elisabeth nodded. "Then you and me."
"Yes," said Karen. "I have safe weapons for her to use."
"Teach me to beat six of you," I said weakly. "That's my goal. Six."
"Honey," said Elisabeth. "You understand that we'll learn to counteract your style as fast as we can teach you. It's going to seem like you're going backwards. You're already very good, and we're not used to your style. We have more room for improvement. You won't beat six of us."
"That is my goal. Find a way," I said.
"It won't be six of us," Elisabeth said. "But maybe six enforcers who haven't learned to fight with you. I don't know how we'll simulate that."
"You will wear a helmet," Lara told me. "And you guys need to be careful about her neck. Also, make sure I'm not around."
"Yes, Alpha," Elisabeth said.
I ate slowly after that, replenishing my energy. I thought I would hurt, but my muscles felt good, if tired. Finally I turned to Elisabeth. "Enforcer, I would like your report."
At first, she told me what I knew. How I was taken, what the immediate response was. How the mess at the mall was covered up. What happened to the one I had injured.
"I don't want the details about that," I said. "Unless they are pertinent."
She summarized. "You were taken through a combination of subterfuge on their part and miscalculation on yours."
I looked down at my hands. "I know."
"Everyone was taken in by Elaine," Elisabeth said. "Kimberlee was in denial at first, but the evidence was clear. You had blood on your hand by the time you grabbed that last dagger, and your handprint was clear on the handle. It was your hand that drove it into her skull, and there was only one reason you would have done that. But we also saw the silver wound in her arm and the unhealed slashes across the backs of her legs. If she had been the only wolf you had fought, we would have been impressed."
"I didn't want to kill her. She was being blackmailed. But then she grabbed my ankle. I would have gotten free." I looked at Serena. "I was inches from escaping from them. But there were four still healthy."
"We had four plus you, and they wouldn't have fought us with all the humans around," Serena said.
I nodded.
Elisabeth had photos of the scene. She went over and over how much damage I had done.
"I slashed a couple as well, but not enough."
"What should you have done differently?" she asked.
"Not have left Serena."
"After that."
"Killed Elaine as soon as I knew what was going on."
"Yes," she said.
"I let her lead me from the bathroom. Should I have killed her there and waited?"
"The hallway was a better place for you to fight," Elisabeth said. "In the bathroom, you would have been cornered. Taking the fight into the hallway was a better choice, and it got you a little bit closer to your security. I don't know the specifics of the fight, but you fight better with obstacles around, so killing her in a fashion that leaves an obstacle is probably more advantage to you than to them."
"All right. So if I have a killing blow, take it."
"Yes," said Elisabeth. "How about the fight itself? Were you trying to kill them or were you trying to escape?"
I thought about it. "Escape, I think. If I could have shifted to fox, I could have escaped, but I hadn't loosened my clothing, and I would have gotten tangled. I'd have been easy to catch if I shifted, and a male wolf on two feet is faster than I am on two feet. I couldn't outrun them."
"I concur," Elisabeth said. "You made exactly two mistakes. You left your security and you should have been faster to kill Elaine."
Lara stared into my eyes. "Leaving your security is your fault. Not wanting to kill Elaine is not."
I nodded at her.
After that they talked about efforts to find me.
"Our car was too far," Serena said. "And we couldn't leave the mess. I'm sorry, but we couldn't let the humans have the bodies. We lost time dealing with that."
"We've analyzed that," Elisabeth said. "We haven't come up with anything we can change without more forces. We sent it to Daniel and Greg as well. They both agree."
"Was it wrong for me to create the bodies in the first place?"
Lara actually laughed. "No. I am proud of you. You kicked their asses, Michaela, and if presented with a similar situation again, I want you to kill anyone you have to."
"All right. I had to be sure. Do we think there will be a next time?"
"Yes," Elisabeth said. "We do."
"All right. I want, I don't know. Things sewn into my clothing. Things no one will recognize. Things that will help me cut rope." I explained what I had tried to do with my chopstick.
"It has to be exceedingly subtle," Karen said. "If anyone thinks you have hidden weapons, the first thing they'll do is cut your clothes
off you and throw it all away."
"That's what they did when they discovered the chopstick," I said. "I was unconscious for it."
Lara's lips clenched.
"It was the women," I said. "They were kind to me. Don't fret, Lara."
"Another woman had her hands on you?" she asked me.
"Don't tease me, Lara." She nodded just once. "Lara, there is something I need to say, but I don't want it to upset you."
"I'll be fine," she said.
"I need to know if I can heal dislocated shoulders without help." I explained about shifting with my arms tied.
"That's a bad idea," Elisabeth said immediately. "You might do more than dislocate them, especially as fast as you shift. You can heal a dislocated shoulder, although both might be rough. I've done one. It hurts like a son of a bitch, but you can do it. I wouldn't want to heal two."
"If it's life or death, Elisabeth?"
"It wasn't, Michaela," Lara said.
"It's Kimber's life," I said. "He's going to kill her if she doesn't kill him first. I need to know."
Lara sighed. "Do not do this until I am able to take the stress if it goes badly."
"All right," I told her. "I'll wait. For now."
"Thank you."
"When we do it," Elisabeth said. "We do it my way. Do you understand, Michaela?"
"Yes, Elisabeth. But I need to know."
"Yes, I agree. What else?"
I looked around the room. "What is the plan to send the message: do not mess with the Madison wolves?"
Elisabeth sighed. She slid a piece of paper to me. It was in two columns. On the left was the list of things the Iowa pack had paid. On the right was our cost. Their cost was simple: one female pack member, three male enforcers, seven students expelled from Wisconsin. Five expelled from Colorado. Two from Chicago. I didn't understand that part.
Our losses were stress to the pack, trauma to me, and trauma to Kimber.
"We came out ahead," Lara said simply.
"I don't understand this part about students."
"We expelled from Wisconsin every member of the Iowa pack. At the time, that was seven students attending college or university in Wisconsin. Our friends have taken similar steps. The students were given six hours warning to exit Wisconsin."
I looked at both lists. "And what did Brody and Johnny pay?"
No one said anything.
"And that's it?" I asked. "You expect me to do nothing?"
"Yes," said Lara. "I promised no retribution."
"You did. I didn't."
"I am still your alpha," she said. "Aren't I?"
I felt the tears start to slide down my cheeks. "Yes, Lara."
"They are both going to be dead within a year," Elisabeth said gently. "Let it go, Michaela."
I stared at my hands resting on the table. "I don't know if I can."
"Try," she replied.
I looked at her, pushing the tears away. "They made me into a victim," I said. "And I am supposed to let them?"
"I'm sorry. Yes."
"Why? Why! They are disorganized. No one is going to fight for Brody. Everyone is afraid of Johnny. If we show up in force, their defenses will melt away from us. We can put together a hundred wolves and roll right over them. Why aren't we?"
"For three reasons," Lara said. "First, I promised."
"They broke faith first, and I do not consider that promise binding," I replied.
"I do," she said. "Just because they are animals doesn't mean we are."
"We can agree to disagree."
Lara nodded and went on. "Second, I can not send anyone to fight for me, and I can't do it myself."
"Then I will go in your stead."
"She can't take the stress," Elisabeth said. "Michaela, she can't."
"Three," Lara said calmly. "While we would accomplish exactly what you said we would, what would the cost be to us? The enforcers would be at the front. Your friends would be at the front. And we would not walk away without our own deaths. Which of your friends' lives are you willing to pay for your vengeance?"
"We got you back," Elisabeth said quietly. "You had a terrible time, and we're very sorry. But we got you back, and you already made them pay heavily. If you think we have a problem with enforcers, how do you think they're doing?"
"The worst of them died," Lara said. "She died by your hand. And she died knowing she was a traitor to her best friend. And her friend knows that and spit on her body."
"She died, but she was not the worst. Brody is the worst, with Johnny a close second. They must die."
"They will," Lara said. "Kimber is going to kill Johnny, and Brody won't last a week after that. And even if Kimber fails, they are imploding. Neither of them will be alive two years from now."
"I want to speak to Greg Freund," I said.
Elisabeth made a call then slid the phone across the table to me.
"Greg," I said. "It's Michaela."
"I'm so sorry," he said. "I'm glad you're okay."
"It wasn't your fault. I didn't take your advice seriously enough."
"You're home now. That's what is important. And perhaps you have learned something."
"Yes, I have," I said. "Greg, is it safe to ask you about something illegal over this call?"
"Yes."
"This is hypothetical. If I wanted two wolves to die-"
"Stop." He said. "I won't go against Lara, Michaela."
"All right. If Lara wanted two wolves to die."
"It would take time."
"You could do it?"
"Yes. And I would. But it would take time. I can't do it right now."
"That's all I needed to know, Greg. Thank you." I slid the phone back to Elisabeth. She thanked him and hung up.
"I am not hiring a hit man, Michaela," Lara said.
I turned to Elisabeth. "I want to know what your assault plans were."
"No," she said. "We won't tell you. Ever."
"I want to know where I was held."
"We won't tell you."
"Michaela," Lara asked. "You never answered. Which of your friends should pay for your vengeance?"
"None," I said quietly. "None."
And then I began to sob. Sobbing, I slid from my chair. I crawled to Lara and laid my head in her lap.
She stroked my hair and said over and over, "I'm so sorry, Michaela. I'm so sorry."
Victim
I eventually asked Elisabeth to help me to my feet. Someone had tissues for me. I cleaned up and said, "I will try to let this go." I turned to Serena. "If I am unable to do so, I will ask for another meeting. I will not slip your security. I promise."
She eyed me carefully.
"I promise, Serena."
"All right," she said.
Lara looked tired. "Do you need a nap?" I asked her.
"Yes."
"Do you want company?"
"Yes."
"I won't nap," I said. "But I'd like to hold you for a while."
I noticed that Elisabeth had a hand on Lara's shoulder. Serena and Karen were both hovering near me. I turned to them. "What are you doing?"
"We-"
"We know you don't like being touched," Karen said.
"That is no longer true," I said.
Serena reached out tentatively, touching my arm. I smiled at her, and then Karen had a hand on my shoulder.
"Touch to a wolf is comfort," Elisabeth said. "It is important to us. Especially after a conversation like this."
I nodded. "Thank you," I said. I reached for Lara's hands and pulled her to her feet. She smiled. I think it amused her how much body weight I had to put into it.
"I'm not that fat," she said.
"No. I'm that small."
Together, we all returned to the house, and Lara and I cuddled together.
We both slept.
* * * *
I spent the next few days physically and emotionally recuperating. I tried to focus on what was important, having mixed success.
I t
hink a large part of my reaction was my extreme embarrassment. Everyone had told me over and over what would happen if I left my security detail behind. But I had known better. Kimberlee had come to us for help, and we had failed her. And it was my fault.
Everyone else seemed to have moved past it. Lara was tired but accepting of my affection. Scarlett and Angel were excited about school. Angel was equally excited to begin her enforcer experience at the same time. And the entire pack was exceedingly excited about the new pups that were on their way.
I tried to focus on all of that.
I didn't restart my flying lessons right away. I told June to give me some time, but that I would call her. I had already soloed, and she gave me permission to continue to solo, but to stay near the airport. On Sunday, I asked permission to go flying.
Lara and Elisabeth weren't sure they wanted to let me go.
"I'll stay in the pattern," I said. "Promise. But if it makes you nervous, I'll stay home."
"No," Lara said. "Of course. Have fun."
"Thank you."
"We can be ready in ten minutes," Serena said, and I thanked her as well.
The field was a ten-minute car ride from the house along gravel roads. I considered walking but decided to drive. Emanuel was going to drive, but I asked if they would let me; I almost never got to drive. "Or does my driving scare everyone?" He laughed and handed me the keys.
I actually wasn't used to driving the SUVs, and I drove cautiously. "Grandma," I heard from the back seat.
"I heard that, Angel."
"You were supposed to, Alpha."
I reached back and clasped hands with her briefly, then returned to driving. I didn't let her impatience speed me up.
At the airport, the wolves wanted to do everything, but I told them, "This is something I should do for myself. But thank you."
I opened the hangar, pulled the plane out, and did my preflight. I think it was hard for them to watch me pull the airplane out of the hangar by myself, but while I am small, I am still strong. Angel was antsy to help preflight, but I waved her off.
Serena separated herself from the rest and talked to me quietly when I was about ready to get into the airplane.
"Are you going to make me regret this?"
"No, Serena. I promised."
"You're still struggling."
"Yes, I am. While I'm flying, can you make me an appointment with Vivian?"
