Texas Dad (Fatherhood)

by Roz Denny Fox

  “I’m ashamed of you, Mackenzie,” Erma said. “The corral, the barn, even the house—everything might be rubble if not for Jill.”

  “Yeah, Dad. I wanted to leave when Erma said it was a grass fire. J.J. made us pack some clothes and other important stuff from the house. She took the animals out of the barn, moved your pickup and then said we had to do the best we could to water as far as the hoses would reach.”

  “And Jill didn’t stop there,” Erma added. “She hauled water in buckets and dumped it around the corral posts. Heaven knows I was too rattled to think of pumping out the pool water.”

  “Stop.” J.J. held up a hand. “What I don’t understand, Mack, is why you’d believe for a minute I’d be so careless as to let us all die when I had two vehicles at my disposal. You know me. Or you used to. I assumed you’d trust my judgment when it comes to basic survival. Obviously not.” Her voice broke and she had to turn away.

  “I’m sorry. What else can I say?” Mack asked, a tremor in his voice, too. “Put yourself in my boots. Benny and I saw the grass fire when we were too far out to be of help. We almost ran our horses into the ground getting here, but I expected all of you would be gone to safety. When I saw you still here...” He gestured feebly.

  J.J. wiped an errant tear that slid to her chin. “Forget it. I’m too tired to process anything at the moment.”

  Zoey buried her face in her dad’s loose shirtfront and tightened her arms around his waist. “If the fire’s out, can’t we all go home? I want a shower and clean clothes.”

  “That’s the best idea I’ve heard so far,” Erma said stoutly. “The fire must be done, if the trucks left. Our neighbors are heading out. You’d better go tell everyone thanks again, Mackenzie. Then bring your pickup home. Jill, are you up to driving us back to the house?”

  She nodded, and started the engine.

  “Zoey,” Mack said, “do you want to ride with me or go with Jill and Erma?”

  Frowning, the girl hesitated. “I’ll go with you,” she finally told her dad.

  “Wait,” J.J. called as they started off on foot, Jiggs trotting between them. “Your keys.” She set the emergency brake and loosened her seat belt, ignoring her sore palm as she dug in the pocket of her shorts. She tossed the ring of keys to Mack, who caught it deftly as she settled back. “And you’d better check Jiggs, he’s limping.” With that she slammed her door and revved the engine.

  “Forgiveness is a noble virtue,” Erma said obliquely as J.J. backed up and turned her vehicle around.

  J.J. fixed the older woman with an unrepentant stare.

  “I’m just saying,” Erma went on, “that holding on to a grudge won’t make you feel better.”

  “I’ve done nothing wrong. Mack’s the one who should feel guilty.”

  “He does.”

  “Really?”

  Erma bobbed her head. “I don’t stand by what he said, but I’ve known him since he was a boy. He gets most defensive when he’s hurt. I honestly have no idea what happened to end your engagement. He’s harbored pain from it all these years.”

  “I doubt that. Uh, can we change the subject, please?” J.J. parked at the house and shut off the engine. “I didn’t want to take this job, but the staff picked Mack to be featured in the August issue. It’s just a coincidence that we have a history. The magazine had one photographer off on assignment and our part-timer out on maternity leave. I came because there was no one else. Your accident altered my plans a bit. But when my job is finished I’m out of here. I’m sure Mack doesn’t want to dredge up our past, and neither do I.”

  Erma unbuckled her seat belt and opened her door. “As you wish, dear. I’m just an old lady, but I think I’ve learned to read people pretty well. I sense you still have issues with how you two left things. But I’m wise enough to know when I’ve said my piece. Right now I believe Zoey was right... Showers are what we all need. Will you bring the wheelchair, Jill? If you lay out some clothes and a clean towel, I’m ready to wash my cares away.”

  J.J. climbed out and got the wheelchair from the back. She opened it, brought it around and helped Erma into the seat. “Erma, I shouldn’t have lashed out. You were never anything but nice to me. I’m afraid the stress of today has brought out the worst in Mack and me. I apologize for growling at you.”

  Erma waved a blue-veined hand. “No need. You’re entitled to your privacy. And the bottom line is, we all owe you a debt of gratitude. What I can’t decide is this―after I clean up do I want to take a full dose of my medicine and go straight to la-la land, or did all our hard work saving the ranch make me so hungry I’ll delay bed for food?”

  J.J. laughed as she wheeled Erma into the house and straight to her room. “I guess what they say about women’s work never being done truly applies here. Mack and Benny had planned to arrive in time for lunch, so they’ll probably be starved. Let’s get cleaned up. Then we can put our heads together and figure out something to serve with that Jell-O salad.”

  “Now don’t get all huffy, Jill, but watching you today, I’ve never seen anyone who claims to be a city woman more suited to living on a ranch.”

  J.J. paused in the act of putting Erma’s soap and shampoo within easy reach. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” she said, adjusting the water to warm. She looped a towel and washcloth over the shower rod. Helping Erma stand, J.J. gave her a little hug. “Just between us, Erma, I’m over my snit.”

  Erma smiled. “You’re allowed a few snits.”

  “After I shower I’ll bring in the bags we packed. That is, if Mack and Zoey don’t beat me to it.”

  “They may. There’s really nothing wrong with demanding some perks from a groveling man. Stuff like that strengthens his soul.”

  J.J. went to lay out Erma’s clothes, again wishing forgiveness was as simple as Erma seemed to think.

  Chapter Eight

  J.J. stripped out of her filthy, smoky clothes. She wondered if they’d ever wash clean. She shook out a plastic bag that held a shirt she’d bought in the airport on the way here, rolled her dirty clothes into a ball, stuffed them in and tied the top. Then she turned on the shower. The moment she stepped under the spray she felt refreshed, but the hot water stung her cuts. Both arms and her hands were scratched, as were both knees and one shin. She remembered hitting the shin while leading the horses to the creek.

  She felt the injuries on her palms the most as she shampooed her hair. But it still felt good to make her hair clean and silky again. Then she felt a dip in water pressure and figured Mack and Zoey had come in and gone to shower. J.J. rushed what she would have liked to be leisurely. Aware of how much water they’d pumped out of Mack’s wells today, she did a quick rinse. Because the hot, late-afternoon sun still streamed through the windows that flanked the patio, she donned a pair of clean running shorts and a matching T-shirt. It hurt her hands to braid her wet hair so she toweled it and left it to dry naturally. She found salve in the medicine cabinet and rubbed some into the cuts.

  Afraid she’d spent too much time on herself and that perhaps Erma needed her, J.J. flung open the door to the patio and hurried across to the housekeeper’s room. She was surprised when Mack unfolded his long body from where he lounged against the side wall. His hair, too, was still damp from his shower and curled over his forehead and ears.

  “I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me,” he said by way of an opening.

  Still cataloging how good he looked and savoring his fresh, citrusy masculine scent, J.J. said nothing.

  “Hell, I wouldn’t blame you if you knocked me upside the head,” he muttered, messing up his hair with one hand. “Zoey filled me in on everything you did, rescuing the barn animals and saving important items from the house. Then, even with that fire approaching, you strung hoses and soaked the perimeter of the property, probably saving my barn. I can never repay you, Jill.” Ma
ck’s expression underscored the truth of his words.

  “I don’t expect repayment. This ranch is a treasure. I remember how proud you always were of your family’s history. I couldn’t bear to think that it might be lost.”

  “Thank you, Jill. If the tables were turned—”

  She made a sweeping brush with one hand. “Today I learned that it’s impossible to prejudge how I’d operate in a crisis until I actually faced one. Another time, under different circumstances I might be totally incompetent. This afternoon, I went on instinct. I saved pictures because they’re important to me. For all I know, you may never find the horses I turned out at the river. Or the mama cow and her calf, and they’re probably worth more than old photo albums.”

  “You can quit worrying. Benny already caught Misty and Splash. I’m sure he has the heifer and her calf by now, too. The chickens are scattered all the hell over the place, though. We’ll probably have to lure them back with a trail of corn.” It was clear that Mack was trying not to laugh in spite of everything.

  “They weren’t in danger, it turned out. I wasted time there.” J.J. shook her head.

  “If the barn had caught, and you hadn’t opened their pen, the entire flock would have been barbecued.”

  “Oh, yuck! My stomach’s still in turmoil and you’re cracking macabre jokes.” J.J. frowned at him. “I’d forgotten that about you, Mack. Making jokes is how you deal with catastrophe.”

  He sobered at once. “Is that why you—”

  Erma shoved open the door from her room with a loud bang. She was in her wheelchair but didn’t look totally put together. “Are you two carping at each other again?”

  “I’m trying to apologize,” Mack said.

  “Oh, well, I didn’t hear what either of you were saying, but it’s good you’re finally making up.”

  J.J. rushed past Mack. She bent down, her expression contrite. “Mack waylaid me when I was coming to your room. Let me take you back in. You have your T-shirt on inside out. Why didn’t you call for me to help you?”

  “Inside out?” Erma pulled at the fabric and crossed her eyes in an attempt to see the shoulder seams. “Honest to Pete. I’ve been dressing myself for nearly seventy years. You’d think I’d injured my noggin instead of my hip.”

  J.J. offered a smile. “I’m impressed you got in and out of the shower without assistance. That proves you’re feeling better.”

  “Maybe not,” Erma said, raising her voice so that Mack could hear. “I just checked the answering machine. Yesterday, the orthopedic doctor from Lubbock phoned and left a message. He said the radiologist thinks I may have a hairline fracture of the...something-something bone. He says he needs X-rays from a different angle, and wants me to have them done Tuesday by the radiologist in Lubbock, the guy our E.R. doctor sent my films to.” She sighed heavily. “I’m more darned trouble than I’m worth.”

  “Nonsense!” Mack strode over to where Erma sat. “I’ll take you. Call him back and see when they can fit you in. Trevor and Eldon will be riding in tomorrow once the herd has settled into the summer pasture. We’ll need to check the fences to see if we lost any posts in the fire, but the men can do that without me.”

  “I thought you and Jill were going to ride out to the summer range so she could take pictures of you with the cattle, Mack.”

  J.J. shushed Erma. “I can drive you to Lubbock,” she volunteered. “While you’re at your appointment, I’ll run by and see my mother. If she’s not too busy with her social calendar, that is,” J.J. added.

  Zoey bounded out from the living room onto the flagstone patio. “I want to go to Lubbock. After J.J. visits her mom, maybe me and her can go to the mall and shop for my school clothes.”

  “She and I can go to the mall,” Mack chided, settling the galloping girl with a firm hand on her shoulder.

  “You want to go school shopping?” Zoey gaped.

  Mack gave an inelegant snort. “Knock it off. You know good grammar.”

  “What kid uses good grammar except in class?”

  “You’d be the first,” Erma said.

  Mack’s gaze skipped from his daughter to J.J. “I don’t object to all of us going but, Zoey, it’s too early to shop for next year’s school clothes. You always shoot up a foot over the summer. It makes no sense to buy things you’ll outgrow by September.”

  Zoey’s face crumpled. “But J.J. won’t be here then to help me pick out clothes! Daddy, she let me wear some of her stuff this morning when she took my pictures. Wait till you see how cool I looked. I won’t outgrow accessories or...or eye shadow.”

  Mack’s scowl settled on J.J. “I thought I said...”

  “You said you didn’t want her duded up. There’s such thing as the tasteful use of eye shadow and lip gloss, Mack.”

  “She doesn’t need eye shadow or other goo on her face.”

  “Daddy!” Zoey cried. “Most of my friends already use makeup. And next year I’ll be in junior high.” She stomped a foot. “You just don’t want me to grow up, but I am, and I want to fit in.”

  Mack’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times.

  J.J. came to his rescue, although she considered letting him swing. “Zoey, we talked about how some girls go overboard with makeup. Your dad doesn’t want you making mistakes he’s seen some other girls make.”

  “I’m not sure if that’s what I meant, but it sounds right,” he said, spreading his hands.

  “Lord have mercy,” Erma muttered. “It’s a fact nobody in this household knows anything about buying or using makeup. Mackenzie, we can’t hide our heads in the sand forever. After Jill did Zoey’s hair this morning, I could see she’s plumb outgrown her tomboy phase. Can’t you just thank Jill? She’s bailed us out in more than one way.”

  Mack threw up his hands. “I’m outnumbered. We’ll talk about this later.”

  J.J. knew when to walk away with a small victory. Mack hadn’t said no to letting Zoey spread her wings a little. So, when she saw the girl preparing to press her dad further, she caught Zoey’s eye and wagged a cautionary finger. “While Erma calls her doctor, let’s you and I bring back the stuff we put in your dad’s pickup. Then we’ll help her figure out something to make for supper.”

  Zoey swallowed what she might have said, instead agreeing cheerily. “You bet. Do you think there might be time before supper for you to put my hair in that halo braid? I took it down to wash the smoke out of my hair, but I want Daddy to see how nice it looks. He saw me when he got home, but he was so upset about the fire he didn’t really see me. Know what I mean?”

  J.J. nodded. “If we go shopping tomorrow, I’ll look for a style book that shows step-by-step a number of ways to braid your hair.”

  “Cool.”

  Laughing, J.J. hooked her arm through Zoey’s and the two struck out across the patio toward Mack’s pickup.

  * * *

  MACK WATCHED THEM leave—two slender women not so different in height as he would have thought. Zoey was growing up before his eyes.

  As for Jill, as he watched the sway of her hips, his hands itched to explore her body the way he once had.

  Erma cleared her throat. “It’s easy to see what you really think about Jill, Mackenzie. Can you answer me this? Why do you constantly rag on her?”

  Mack had forgotten that Erma was still sitting in the doorway. He tried not to sound guilty when he blustered, “I was thinking I’ve missed the boat when it comes to admitting that Zoey’s not a little girl anymore.”

  “Right, that’s what you were thinking. I’m old, but I’m not feebleminded. You don’t want Jill to catch you lollygagging around with that moon-calf look. Wheel me into the kitchen so I can use the phone. I’m learning to operate this danged chair on my own, but after holding a hose as long as I did, I’d appreciate you doing the work right now.”


  “No problem. You only have to ask.” Grasping the handles of the wheelchair, Mack circled it around and took the closer route to the kitchen through Erma’s room.

  “Mackenzie, I rarely stick my nose into your private life. Lord knows I wanted to ask why you and Jill broke up, and why instead of going after her you took up with Faith straightaway. She was never the right woman for you.”

  Mack moved the wheelchair into the alcove in jerky steps. “Your decision to stay out of my personal life was best,” he said, turning cool.

  “Bah!” Erma reached back and smacked his rigid arm. “You’re allowed to admit you messed up. The world doesn’t have to know. Not even Zoey.”

  “What are you talking about?” Mack stopped short of the kitchen counter.

  “You think I don’t know how soon Faith left your bed and took up residence in the room we turned into Zoey’s nursery? I know when love cools. Benny does, too. What apparently escaped you, Mackenzie, is that you don’t have to pay for a mistake forever. It’s not too late to grab some happiness. You deserve it, and the woman capable of giving it to you has dropped back into your life. That’s luck, plain and simple.”

  Mack felt as if he’d been hit in the gut with a two-by-four. He’d honestly believed that he’d succeeded in hiding the sad state of his marriage from the two people who knew him best. Now, he felt panic welling. He had battled Faith’s parents in court once when they claimed they should have the right to raise their dead daughter’s baby. They were religious zealots, but they weren’t stupid. Rumors had a way of circulating in small towns. If he took up with Jill, and Erma, Benny or anyone so much as hinted that he loved Jill years ago, well, the Reverend Bode Adams would probably have him back in court so fast his head would spin. He hadn’t loved Faith the way she deserved, but he had promised he’d never allow her parents to raise her baby. That was a promise he intended to keep.

  “Well, Erma, maybe you should have asked me back then instead of building romantic fantasies in your head. Faith’s heart was so damaged from childhood rheumatic fever that her OB/GYN advised her to terminate her pregnancy. Faith refused, and her cardiologist said her only hope of carrying a baby to term was to follow a strict regimen he and her OB/GYN set up. Frequent naps, no bending, lifting or stretching. That’s why you got stuck with all the cooking and housekeeping. Another of the doctor’s orders was that we cease, uh, you know.” Mack reached for the phone as he stumbled over what was really the truth. “I put the single bed in the room off the master suite and I moved Faith’s things because of that. We hoped her heart would withstand an early caesarean section if she followed orders to a T. You know the rest—she went into early labor and the doctors were lucky to save Zoey. So, now can we leave all this in the past?”