Love Bi the Way

by Bhaavna Arora

  ‘What’s my carrot?’ Rihana asked, ignoring everything else Zara had just said.

  ‘You can ask for anything except your favourite boys,’ Zara said.

  ‘By the way, I spoke to Zubair’s friend, Rohan, when I took Tiger to the doctor. While you were away, he drew up the documents for your divorce. And I can see that Shaurya is making a place in your life digitally, emotionally and physically. It’s time for you to move on.’

  Zara nodded and promised her she would go ahead with the divorce.

  Rihana was happy that her friend had finally made the most important decision of her life. Just then Zara’s phone rang, so she excused herself and went out. She talked for some time while Rihana gave a Voveran shot to Tiger. When Zara came back, she didn’t seem very happy.

  ‘What happened?’ Rihana asked her, with Tiger lying down in her lap.

  ‘I don’t know. He seemed distant.’ Zara sat down on the carpeted floor with Rihana and laid her head on her shoulder.

  ‘Zara, there are two kinds of men in this world. One, who never bother to even call after you’ve slept with them, and the second kind, who stick to you like a tampon. You have to try so hard to get rid of them that sometimes exorcism also doesn’t work. We have to figure out the kind of man Shaurya is.’

  Rihana was definitely more experienced when it came to men, and had the advantage of looking at and judging the situation from a distance. Besides, Zara trusted Rihana with her life, the heart was just a small matter.

  The next day, Zara went with Rihana and Zubair’s friend, Rohan Shrivastav, to his office and signed the papers. A petition was filed in the court. They had the ball rolling on this finally.

  ‘How is Tiger?’ Zubair asked Rihana.

  ‘He isn’t keeping too well. If a dog could look pale, he does, and he behaves quite neurotically. He sometimes hates the sun and sleeps on the wet floor in the bathroom. I’m giving him medicines regularly, but he doesn’t seem to be improving. I wonder what’s wrong—I am very worried for him.’

  ‘Is Dr Bhardwaj back from his vacation?’ Zara inquired.

  ‘Not yet, I guess. But I think I’ll call his clinic again and ask.’

  ‘I think you should take him to another vet. If he isn’t getting better, it means the medicines aren’t working. I don’t want to scare you, but dogs don’t remain sick for this long. He should get better with medicines, not worse,’ Zubair said, concerned.

  ‘Ever since I have been giving him his Voveran shots, his condition has worsened,’ Rihana said thoughtfully.

  ‘Change your doctor, Rihana. These government-hospital doctors are usually not very professional. I only take Gabbar there during emergencies,’ Zubair suggested.

  Hearing all this from Zubair, Zara was slightly upset. She took her phone and called Dr Bhardwaj, the vet they usually consulted for Tiger. They were overjoyed to know that he was back that day and decided to take Tiger to the clinic that very minute.

  Rihana collected the prescription and the medicines she was giving to Tiger to show it to the vet and left with Zara.

  Later at the clinic, Dr Bhardwaj asked, shocked, ‘Voveran?? Who gave you this prescription?’

  ‘I took him to a government hospital, doctor. The vet over there asked me to give him these shots.’ The doctor looked worried, which scared Rihana even more.

  ‘Is there something wrong with that, doctor?’

  ‘His intestines have bled, Rihana. One must never give Voveran shots to a dog. Who was that idiot?’ Dr Bhardwaj exclaimed, sounding frustrated.

  ‘Oh God! You were not in town and I couldn’t understand what to do. I was myself admitted for a few days. In fact, doc, after the antibiotics Tiger felt better. I got him mated too.’ Rihana was trying to give him the medical history to help the vet’s diagnosis and probably hear something positive.

  ‘He had a stomach infection, so the antibiotics must have done him good. But as I see it now, you’ve given him too much Voveran. It has made him bleed internally. Do you see the white under his belly?’ Dr Bhardwaj said, pointing to the spot under Tiger’s belly.

  ‘Yes, doc,’ Rihana said, looking at it, while Zara bent forward for a clearer view.

  ‘This is because he has become anaemic due to the loss of blood. We will immediately put him on iron supplements. If he doesn’t get better, we may have to consider blood transfusion.’

  The doctor’s words were very disappointing. They left Zara and Rihana with very little hope. The girls brought Tiger back home and started giving him the medicines prescribed by the vet.

  Rihana put Tiger in his bed and called up Zubair to tell him the whole story. Zubair was shocked to hear this because he had also visited the same doctor for Gabbar in the past.

  ‘I would like to see the credentials of the vet who checked Tiger in the government hospital. Can Rohan help me?’ Rihana sounded determined.

  ‘Sure, Rihana! His name is Shyam Yadav. We’ll bury him alive. He has no business prescribing the wrong medicine. I’m sorry I took you there,’ said Zubair, feeling guilty.

  ‘It’s not your fault, Zubair. But I would like to file a case against that vet, so that no other dog owner suffers like we are right now. I don’t think he is qualified enough to be a doctor, else he would’ve known.’

  ‘I understand, Rihana. I’ll do the best that I can.’

  Zubair and Rihana had one thing in common and that was their love towards their pets. Zara too did her best to create awareness about pet care and treatment. Along with books, she always found peace in writing. On her blogs she wrote on various topics: politics, society and its norms, relationships . . . even divorce. She wrote a blog entry on pet care and highlighted how incorrect medical treatment could put a loved pet in dire straits. While for her other blogs she had received a warm response from her friends and followers, this post on pets surprised them all. Many people shared similar experiences in the comments section, and that prompted Rihana and Rohan to work harder to get the government hospital vet’s credentials verified.

  Tiger’s health stabilized, but didn’t get any better. Zara and Rihana, along with Nandini, did the best they could to improve his condition.

  While all attention was fixed on Tiger and his needs, Rihana noticed Zara looked exceptionally upset one day.

  ‘What happened?’ Rihana asked her.

  ‘What?’ She looked up with a jolt, as if shaken out of a reverie. ‘Oh, it’s nothing. Just that Shaurya is ignoring me on all digital platforms. He is insisting on keeping our relationship a secret. I put up a picture of us together at the polo match on Facebook and he immediately asked me to remove it. I have a bad feeling about this, Rihana. A man would ask to keep your relationship a secret with him only if he doesn’t want the relationship.’

  Rihana didn’t react; she had been prepared for this more than Zara was.

  The same evening, Zara received a parcel and opened it hurriedly. There was a small box with a solitaire ring in it. It was from Shaurya. It immediately brought a smile to Zara’s face; she hoped it meant that Shaurya was taking their relation to the next level. The package was followed by a message from him that read: You’ve got mail!

  Incredibly curious, Zara opened her inbox to check for the email, which read:

  Dear Zara,

  I have found in you a true mate who understands me and appreciates me, not for my wealth and lineage, but for my potential to be myself. If wishes were horses, we would have won the race against destiny.

  I am sorry I had to use this email as a mode to convey this message to you. You definitely deserve better, but my heart can’t bear the pain of telling you this to your face. I cannot go ahead with this relationship, as we live in the real word. We do build fantasies around us, but they exist better in books and fairy tales. I’m the prince, and my family will never allow me to marry a commoner. Forget blue blood, you’re not even a Rajput and have no family to speak of. It’ll be very difficult for me to fight my parents as the foundation we are building our r
elationship on is shaky.

  I hope you will accept a small token of my love for you, for the happy times we spent together. If you don’t intend to move on, and stay with me without marrying me, I would love to have you by my side. But always remember this one thing—you’ll always be my love. I’ll love you and no one else. I know I might sound imbecilic, but I hope you appreciate that I have the courage to be truthful with you.

  Please forgive me.

  Shaurya.

  For a moment, Zara was in a state of shock. Looking at her, Rihana asked, ‘Everything okay? Who was at the door?’

  Zara showed Rihana the ring.

  ‘Holy mother of God! It’s a big rock. Did he propose to you?’

  Zara then showed her the email. After reading it, Rihana picked up her phone and dialled Shaurya’s number. Zara had guessed what she would do and tried dissuading her. But when did Rihana listen to others?

  The moment Shaurya picked up the call, Rihana shot off, ‘You asshole!’ and then continued to vent her anger. ‘You haven’t been struck by lightning yet because God probably wasn’t watching while you broke an innocent girl’s heart.’

  ‘Look, Rihana! I know it’s difficult for her, but it is equally difficult for me,’ said Shaurya, trying to pacify her calmly.

  ‘Oh really! You want to play the victim here and make me feel bad for you? Sorry, you rotten bastard prince. All I feel for you is nausea.’

  ‘I tried my best, Rihana. I sent her a nice ring and a warm letter to make up for all the hurt I caused her. I’m ready to take care of her for a lifetime, but I can’t marry her.’

  ‘You know what I want you to do with your nice ring? Sell it, take the money, convert it into coins and then shove them up your ass, you bastard.’

  ‘You can’t abuse me like this, Rihana. I’m also suffering. I really like Zara.’

  ‘Shut the fuck up! And stop worrying about Zara. She will not suffer because I’m here with her. You better look after yourself, you son of a bitch! I hope you rot in hell and lose all the money you were born into.’ Rihana hung up, red with anger.

  Zara just stood and watched Rihana fight for her. She knew for sure that she wasn’t alone in this, and that was the best thing Zara could have felt at the time.

  Then Rihana turned towards Zara and said in a soothing voice, ‘I knew this would happen, Zara. A man who can discuss having sex with a woman with his friends is never ready to marry you.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Zara asked.

  ‘I knew you’d slept with Shaurya before you even mentioned it.’ The look on Zara’s face changed from confusion to shock.

  Rihana held her hand and said, ‘You called it “lovemaking”, but Shergill conveyed an altogether different story to me. The day you were out for dinner with Shaurya, Shergill knew about it. In fact, the rest of the polo team also knew about it. Perhaps the prince had been boasting on the lines of “Do din, ladki in”. You were just looking for love in the wrong place,’ said Rihana sympathetically.

  Zara suddenly burst into laughter. ‘“Do din, ladki in”! Where do you get these ideas from?’

  ‘Rihana, all actions have consequences. We only come to know later if they’re good or bad. I’m glad that Shaurya was at least honest with me and told me what he wanted. And sex is like peeing, remember? It shouldn’t be taken so seriously.’ Rihana smiled at Zara, happy that she was taking it well. She had grown up in the real sense.

  ‘The heart wants what it wants, Zara. But what do you want?’ Rihana wanted Zara to spell out her priorities.

  ‘I’m not sure I wanted to marry him.’ Rihana was surprised at Zara’s confession.

  ‘Then the proposal he has given you is perfect. I would just wear that ring on my middle finger and masturbate with it on. I mean, look at that rock! And I always thought that you were the marriage types!’ Rihana was elated that the situation did not seem to be so heartbreaking for Zara, otherwise it could have affected her health adversely. Now she was glad and wanted to know more from Zara.

  ‘Plus Rihana, Shaurya never committed to me and going to bed with him was my choice too. I don’t know why we women associate material things like marriage, security, societal status et cetera with sex? Why can’t we treat sex like sex and enjoy the process? If we are expecting anything in return except pleasure, then we are mere traders, and only whores trade for sex. Don’t you think so?’

  ‘Now you’ve grown a pair!’ Rihana said, smiling devilishly, holding up her two index fingers like horns. She was proud of Zara.

  ‘Ha ha, Ri! You’re a drama queen! I don’t understand why I should hold him responsible for breaking up with me. I had as much fun as he did. If he has decided not to be with me, I can’t push him. And being with someone long-distance would have been a challenge anyway. If one wants to be with someone, then we can be beyond space and time. And if one has decided to not be with that person, nothing can keep them together . . . not even an institution like marriage. When I was with Shaurya, I did think about a future with him. You were right when you said that the future is unpredictable, but then I didn’t want to give up too soon. It’s better to have and not need, rather than need and not have. I chose the former back then.’ Zara had reconciled herself to the whole thing, and on her own terms at that. Rihana was glad to see that.

  ‘So no regrets?’ Rihana asked.

  Zara smiled and lit the room up. ‘This regret was beautiful because he made me feel beautiful, he helped me find myself, and I opened myself up to welcome life. But Rihana you shouldn’t have abused him so much,’ said Zara, sniggering. She added in a serious tone, ‘And moreover, the Maharani has big plans for you. I hope the business doesn’t get affected in any way.’

  ‘It won’t, Zara. If you have to succeed as a socialist, you need to have the heart of a capitalist. The Maharani is not a fool to let go of a million-dollar deal. Don’t worry about it. And kids make mistakes, but Shaurya is a mistake for the Maharani as well. I’m sure of it. A person who doesn’t have a clue about his identity is either a bastard or plain stupid.’

  Zara’s eyes flew wide open. ‘Don’t be so harsh on the poor guy. Hope it’s not the jealousy talking.’ She smiled coquettishly.

  Rihana hugged Zara and was very happy to see a balanced new person in place of the vulnerable one she had known a month ago. She knew that sometimes one has to lose balance to find balance. Jealousy was why Rihana was so bitter towards Shaurya, but it came from a good place—it emanated from her love for Zara. But the best part about the whole episode was that Zara had emerged a winner.

  In a way that was characteristically her, Zara took a while to think it over and sat down to reply to Shaurya’s email the next day.

  Dear Shaurya

  Thank you for being honest with me. I had mentioned to you that I don’t appreciate any virtue more than honesty in my life, and I am glad you stood up for that.

  If one tries to find camouflage trousers in a jungle, it would be called stupidity. They have to go prepared. I understand that I was looking for love in the wrong place. I misunderstood your darkness for depth.

  Just wondering though, you don’t like to be called a prince because you live in a democratic and secular India. But you will not stand up to say yes to a marriage with a commoner. Interesting! So there is something for you to decide there. Either you are a prince or you are not.

  I am disillusioned by the whimsical fantasies that you portrayed as realities. Clearly, you do not walk your talk.

  Nevertheless, I did love you for a moment, and I don’t want that to change. I’m sending the ring back to end this relationship.

  I would’ve loved to continue being with you even without a marriage, but sex is something you discuss exclusively with the woman you’re sleeping with—not with your entire polo team.

  But I forgive you . . . because I know better. And thank God, because I would never have been able to forgive myself if I was anything like you.

  Zara

  And then she clicked on
‘Send’.

  Zara was improving consistently. And Rihana was concentrating more on her work, but she was yet to find any inspiration. She was also upset to see Tiger’s condition worsening.

  The medicines didn’t seem to be working, and one day they found that Tiger was having acute difficulty in breathing. Rihana put Tiger in the car and drove straight to the vet. She didn’t even take an appointment; she just barged into the clinic in the afternoon and requested a lady to wait so she could take Tiger in first. Her anxiety was soaring with every passing minute. The vet was sure that Tiger’s condition hadn’t improved.

  ‘Tiger will need blood transfusion, Rihana. There is no other way to go about it. Under normal circumstances, we would have tested the blood groups of other dogs and matched it with Tiger’s. But let me be honest . . . We have very little time.’

  ‘What do you mean “We have very little time”?’ Rihana sunk deeper in her chair.

  ‘Look, Rihana, I’ll be honest with you. There is only a slight chance of him surviving, even after the blood transfusion, but we’ll try our best. In the first blood transfusion, we follow the routine procedure of matching the blood groups, but here we will take a chance as the process of blood-group matching could take a lot of time . . . which we don’t have. So just get a dog from whom we can transfuse the blood to Tiger. Do you know anyone who’d be able to come over right away? We will have to make it quick. It might take time for me to arrange one.’

  Rihana was shocked at the way things were turning out. She took out her phone and dialled Zubair’s number. Zubair understood the gravity of the situation in her voice. He brought Gabbar around in no time, and Zara also came home as soon she heard, to be with Rihana and Tiger. It was a critical situation that required the whole family to be together.

  Zubair held Gabbar so the doctor could draw blood from his vein, and Rihana and Zara stood near the other table where Tiger was lying. He was breathing heavily. Rihana sat on the table and put Tiger’s head on her lap. That was something Tiger needed the most at that moment.