Lust

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “All right. I might as well get this over with.” I closed my eyes and drank the pungent and sour tasting liquid. My stomach churned and I felt my gag reflex start, but I fought it down. It wouldn’t do me any good if I threw it up. I’d have to drink it again.

  I handed the empty glass to Mayanne and laid back against the pillow. “Ugh. I don’t remember the last one tasting quite so bad.”

  “I guess I didn’t warn you about the taste. That seemed minor compared to the other side effects.”

  My stomach churned. “It’s a one dose thing, right? I don’t have to take another?”

  “Only one. I’m afraid two would kill you… or at least the human part of you.”

  “Are Allures really immortal?” I opened my eyes.

  “From everything I’ve heard, but I’d ask Violet that question.”

  “I don’t want her to think that I was asking because I was ready to become one.” The room started spinning and my head pounded, so I closed my eyes again.

  “She knows you don’t want to, and if my feeling is right, she doesn’t want you to either. She cares about you in the only way an Allure can.”

  “You know a lot about Allures. More than anyone else I’ve met.”

  “I have a lot of free time. I’ve read a lot.” She patted my arm. “How are you feeling?”

  “Terrible. Beyond nauseous.”

  “It’s what I figured would happen.”

  “Will it get better?”

  “You’ll get used to it, and eventually the sensation will fade completely.”

  “What happens when it fades completely?”

  “It means you’re almost out of time,” her voice was nearly inaudible.

  “So I should embrace the terrible sensation?”

  “I do have one thing that might help. Of course it also might make it worse.”

  “What is it?” I asked nervously. I wasn’t sure I could handle another concoction.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I opened my eyes. “You’re leaving?”

  “I’ll be less than a minute.”

  I waited anxiously, and finally she appeared holding something that appeared to be a sweatband. “What is that? If I didn’t know any better I’d think it was a motion sickness bracelet.”

  “It is a motion sickness bracelet.”

  “That’s your great idea?”

  “It could help with the nausea.” She put it around my wrist.

  “I really hope it works.”

  “You and me both.”

  “You worried I won’t be happy with your services?”

  “I want you to make it to wherever it is you need to go. I want you to stay human. Mate with Owen. Have the life you want.”

  “Are you sure you’ve learned everything from books?” It didn’t seem like she was all that surprised Allures were still around.

  “We’re all entitled to our secrets, Daisy. Don’t you think?”

  “In theory.”

  “You of all people should understand that life doesn’t always work out the way we plan.”

  “I definitely do.” I locked eyes with hers. “You can tell me, you know. I can keep a secret.”

  “Get better, reverse your change, and come back. We can celebrate and share stories.”

  “Okay.” It wasn’t my place to push her. It wasn’t fair after all she had done for me.

  She patted my hand. “Give yourself some time to rest. I can send Owen in if you want.”

  I shook my head. “No. If he sees me like this he’s going to freak out.”

  “Yet you wanted me to get him if you blacked out?”

  “That would have been different. I need to deal with this myself. Find my own strength.”

  “That’s the right idea, but don’t forget it’s okay to rely on a little bit of his strength too.”

  “A little bit sure, but this is going to take a lot.”

  She nodded. “I do have one more idea.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Does any food appeal to you?”

  “My stomach is doing flips.” I put a hand on my upset stomach.

  “I know, but does anything sound good?”

  “Chocolate chip cookies.” They always sounded good.

  “Perfect. I happen to have some cookie dough waiting in the freezer.”

  “For real?”

  “Don’t act so surprised. I have a sweet tooth.”

  “How did you know I’d be craving something?”

  “This isn’t my first rodeo.”

  “You’ve dealt with someone else becoming an Allure?” I sat up with a start. That changed things. She knew more than she was saying.

  “Not this exact situation, but I know what this type of potion does to a person.”

  “I need a few minutes, and I’ll be fine.”

  “Should I go work on those cookies?”

  “Sure. I’ll wait here.”

  “You know he’s going to want to come in.”

  “Fine.” I struggled to sit up. My body ached, and I was overwhelmed with exhaustion.

  Mayanne quickly helped prop me up with pillows. “I’ll let him know you’re ready to see him.”

  “Thanks.” I struggled to come up with the words to sum up my gratitude. “For everything.” I hoped she knew what I was really trying to say. That I was in debt to her.

  “Of course. I’m sorry this happened to you, but maybe in the end it will be worth it. If you can step up to the challenge and fix things, you’ll get your happily ever after.”

  “I’ll settle for a happily for now.”

  She smiled. “You must be feeling better. You’re making jokes.”

  “It’s all this talk about cookies. It’s amazing what the thought of baked goods can do to a person.”

  “I’m on it.” She patted my leg before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

  Within seconds the door burst open. “Are you okay?” Owen ran over to the bed.

  “I’ve been better, but I’m fine. Mayanne is making me cookies.”

  “I heard. Should I take it as a good sign that you have an appetite?”

  “I need to get the bad taste out of my mouth.” I downplayed how I really felt. There was no reason to worry him needlessly. It would only upset him, and he’d take it out on Violet and Hugh. If I was going to be with the three of them, I didn’t want to give them any more reason to fight.

  Owen put a hand on my forehead.

  “Are you checking for a fever?”

  He smiled. “Maybe.”

  “This stuff is supposed to help, not hurt.”

  “The important words are ‘supposed to’. We knew there was a risk involved.”

  “I trust Mayanne. If the risk was too great she wouldn’t have given it to me.”

  “You know I trust her. I brought you here the first time…”

  “I know.” I patted the bed. “We’ve returned to the scene.”

  “We have.” He sat down beside me, stretching his long legs out next to mine.

  “That was an amazing kiss.”

  It was. He brushed his lips against my cheek.

  I took his hand in mine. “We’ve had other good kisses, but I’ll never forget that one.”

  “That makes two of us.” His lips moved to meet mine.

  I pressed my lips against his, ignoring my slight headache and upset stomach.

  He kissed me back harder, wrapping his arms around me. The nausea started to dissipate as I soaked up his taste.

  I needed him, and I buried my hands in his hair. He cradled my head while his tongue pushed into my mouth. I forgot all about the potion and my discomfort as he deepened the kiss.

  The door opened, and we broke the kiss.

  “Sorry to interrupt.” Levi stood in the doorway with an expression that said it all. He wasn’t sorry. I guess a king doesn’t need to be.

  Owen groaned. “You always have impeccable timing.”

  “I have to keep you on your
toes.” His eyes twinkled with amusement. He enjoyed making Owen uncomfortable, but I sensed it wasn’t in a bad way.

  “Is there something you needed?” Owen leaned up on his elbows.

  “Violet wants to talk to Daisy.”

  “We’ll be ready to talk to her in a few minutes.”

  Levi leaned a hand on the doorframe. “You know as well as I do she doesn’t want you as part of the conversation.”

  “And you think that’s okay?” Owen sat up. “I’m seriously supposed to leave Daisy to talk to Violet alone?”

  “I think that’s really up to Daisy to decide.” Levi smiled sympathetically. “I know stepping aside isn’t easy, but none of this is going to be easy,”

  “Would you quit sounding so wise all the time?” Owen moved off the bed. “I’m supposed to be the wise one keeping you in line.” He laughed.

  “Oh, how the tables have turned.” Levi smirked.

  “I might as well get this over with.” I stood and straightened out my dress. “Where is she?”

  “Waiting downstairs in the sitting room.”

  “Are the cookies ready yet?” Might as well get to the important questions.

  Levi laughed. “They’re in the oven.”

  “Great.” I hadn’t craved food in a while. It was a nice change of pace.

  “I’ll walk you down.” Owen ran a hand through his hair as though he were checking that it wasn’t messy.

  “Thanks.” I smiled. I knew I needed to talk to Violet alone, but I was glad Owen would still be close. I didn’t want to rely on him, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy being with him.

  Levi moved out of the doorway and led the way back to the stairs.

  “There you are.” Violet beamed when I reached the bottom of the stairs.

  “Finally acknowledging me?” She’d barely recognized my existence when we first walked in.

  “Hey, it was your henchman giving me a hard time.” She nodded toward where Owen and Levi flanked me, probably proving her point.

  “Henchman?” Owen put a hand to his chest. “Try boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend? How completely adorable.” Hugh walked over.

  I stood at the bottom of the stairs. “Where did you want to talk?”

  “Outside?” she suggested.

  “Sure.” Fresh air sounded nice. Owen had helped the nausea, but it was still there. Maybe it would also help pass the time while I waited for the cookies.

  “I’ll be right here.” Owen’s eyes backed up his words. He wanted me to know that even if he was giving me space, he was still there if I needed him.

  I nodded to let him know I understood before following Violet out into the hot early afternoon sun.

  “You don’t look good.” She barely waited until the front door closed behind us before jumping in.

  “Gee, nice to see you too.” I hopped up onto the porch railing right next to a post so I could hold on.

  “You know what I mean.” She watched me carefully. “Are you ill?”

  “I’ve been ill for a while.”

  “What did Mayanne give you?”

  “I assumed you knew. All I know is it was something to slow down the change.”

  “Your body is craving emotions. You need to manipulate.” She leaned back against the rail next to me.

  “I have plenty of emotion.” I thought about the plethora of emotions that had been swirling through me earlier lying on the bed with Owen.

  “You’re going to have to give in. You’ll feel better.”

  “And I’ll lose more of myself. It’s not worth the risk.” It would never be. I refused to give up my humanity until I had absolutely no choice.

  “How have you been doing?” she rested her hand between us. Her nails had grown longer.

  “Is this question different from the last one?”

  “I’m asking more broadly.” She tapped her nails.

  “I’m scared, an emotional basket case, and…” I glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one was nearby. It was probably pointless, half the people we were with had super hearing. “And the only thing that levels me out is intimacy with Owen.”

  Violet grinned. “I can think of worse things for you to have to do.”

  “I agree, but I can’t spend my whole life having sex with him.”

  “No… not every second of it.”

  “So what’s the plan? Everyone seems to think you have one.”

  “We get to Mount Majest. See the Elders.”

  “The Elders who you don’t think are actually going to help.” Very reassuring.

  “You never know. They like me.”

  “What aren’t you saying?”

  “You are already more perceptive.” She straightened and moved so she was standing in front of me.

  “I guess it comes with the territory.” I struggled to keep my head up. “But spit it out.”

  She looked off into the distance and didn’t say anything. I decided to wait. Violet wasn’t going to talk until she was ready. “You might not like what they have to say.”

  “Meaning they could refuse to help.”

  “Meaning any help they give will be on their own terms. Not yours.”

  Her words sunk in. Their terms may not be good for everyone around. “I need you to promise me something.” I still didn’t know everything about Violet, but she struck me as someone who would stick to her word.

  “What is it?” She carefully avoided promising anything until she knew more. I tried to do the same thing.

  “Promise me you won’t let Owen get hurt.”

  “He’s likely to get hurt whether you become an Allure or not.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  “But I will do what I can. There are different types of hurt.” She looked into the forest line.

  On instinct I turned and followed her gaze. “Is something out there?”

  “No, but you can never be too safe.”

  A chill ran through me. “Are you worried about someone watching me or you?”

  “Either or both. There are always eyes in our world.”

  “Should we be doing more to protect ourselves? Have Owen check or something?” I was paranoid enough already. Now I was going to be checking over my shoulder every few minutes.

  “It’s not going to change a thing. When you’ve lived as long a life as I have, you begin to understand that some things are worth expending energy on and others are not.”

  “And helping me stop the change is worth your energy?” I still didn’t know what to think. For a girl who couldn’t feel, Violet seemed to be very concerned with what happened to me.

  “Yes. It’s worth it.”

  “How come you sometimes feel?” My filter was nearly gone.

  “Haven’t we gone over this before? I don’t feel in the way you do.”

  “But you can sometimes…” I thought over our conversation with Myrtle. About Violet looking sad.

  “Spit it out, Daisy. Is there something you want to ask me?” She crossed her arms, and it was an action that didn’t fit her at all.

  “What happened at the Applerose Gala?”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She looked out into the open field again.

  “Yes you do. Why lie? You already know everything about me.”

  She blinked. “I’ll say it again. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  “How can you expect me to trust you, if you don’t trust me? Things don’t work that way. There has to be some give and take.”

  “No.” She moved in close. “That’s not how it works. You want my help, I’m giving it. You want me to try to protect Owen, I’ll try, but—”

  “Fine. I’ll stop pushing you, but please keep your promise. He needs to survive. He needs to have a life. Happiness. Whether that’s with or without me.”

  “Let’s focus on getting to the Elders first. There’s no reason to rush to a conversation we may not need to have.”

  “F
air enough. How are we getting there?” I wanted to know about the gala and that man, but pushing her wasn’t going to help anything. I’d find out eventually. I didn’t trust Violet completely, but I had no other choice. I had nowhere else to go.

  “There are a few options.”

  “Which are?” Finally she was giving me some information.

  “There are gates… that’s the only way to reach Energo directly from here.”

  “Ok. Where are the gates?” The sooner we reached Energo, the better.

  “Instead we can cut through another place first.”

  “Is there an advantage to this indirect way in?”

  “We are less likely to be detected. That’s a good thing.” She stepped back.

  “What’s the catch? There has to be one.”

  “I know you’re already nauseous. The trip isn’t going to help matters any.”

  “Great.”

  “Somehow I don’t think that band is going to be enough.” She gestured to the motion sickness bracelet.

  “Owen can come too.” I wasn’t actually asking a question. There was only one possibility I could accept.

  “Yes. He’s not going to let you go alone.”

  “His feelings are real.” I needed Violet to understand even if it didn’t change anything.

  “I can tell.”

  “Mine are too.” I hopped down off the railing.

  “I can tell that too.”

  “I love him.” Despite everything, I still knew that. I refused to let go of those feelings.

  “I know.”

  “I want to love him always.”

  “Which is why I know you can handle the motion sickness.”

  “I know.” I straightened up. Like it or not, I had no choice. “Do we have time to grab some cookies?”

  Violet laughed. “There’s always time for cookies.”

  “You like chocolate chip too?”

  “Love them.”

  “At least that doesn’t have to disappear as an Allure.”

  “It’s a different kind of love though.”

  “I knew you were going to say that.” I sighed. Everything was going to be different as an Allure. I wouldn’t even enjoy cookies the same way anymore?

  “I wanted to make sure you understood.”

  “I understand.”

  “Then let’s go back inside.” She started for the door, but then turned back. “I’m not all bad you know.”

  “I know. Why do you think I’m talking to you?”