by J. M. Snyder
“Fine, I’ll go. But don’t get too excited, okay? I might veto everything.”
“And I won’t let you,” he retorted.
He returned to the living room with a beer and a sandwich, and we spent the next couple of hours watching shows until it was time for him to meet his date. He showered and dressed, then grabbed his keys and motorcycle helmet before heading for the door.
“It’s ten o’clock at night!” I exclaimed as I watched him leave.
“That’s when things start hopping, baby. Later.” He blew me a kiss and shut the door behind him.
I shook my head as I gathered all the dirty dishes and bottles and carried them to the kitchen.
That was the difference between Anderson and me. He loved to party all night long, despite having to work the next morning. I preferred to be in bed by ten o’clock for a good night’s sleep. No wonder people thought I was boring.
As I got ready for bed a few minutes later, I wondered whether a new wardrobe would make Jaiden see me as more than just the awkward, frumpy man he was working with. All our conversations had been about the project, except for that little insight into his feelings about being seen as himself and not just for his clothing or money.
It couldn’t hurt to try, right? What did I have to lose? Aside from the rest of my pride…
* * * *
I was nervous on Monday morning. Anderson and I had spent hours going from store to store Saturday and Sunday as he’d given me a crash course in fashion and what worked best for my body type—slender almost to the point of bone thin—and my hair color, along with pale, freckly skin. He also made fast friends with one sales guy who asked for his number so they could “hang out.” It would be interesting to see how things progressed on that front.
I’d never paid much attention to grooming and such, apart from the basics, but what Anderson had said made sense, and when I saw myself in the mirror at the end of it all, I almost didn’t recognize myself. As for my hair, he’d taken me to a salon to give me an overpriced haircut—in my opinion—which did things to my face that I didn’t think were possible.
Gone was the ordinary, uninteresting face I grew up with. And my green eyes seemed brighter, somehow…Still, I might look a sight better than I had before, but I was the same Alister I’d always been.
And now, it was Monday, and Anderson had gone off to work, wishing me luck and leaving me to face my judgmental coworkers alone. God, I hoped I didn’t spill anything on my new clothes today.
When I entered the building, the woman behind the security desk who always ignored my greetings practically launched herself over the counter to wish me “a happy good morning to you, sir.” I mumbled something in reply and tried not to run to the elevator, though I really, really wanted to.
As I rode up to my floor, I realized that some of my coworkers were next to me, and their looks of shock weren’t exactly encouraging, though it made a change from being ignored or laughed at, perhaps.
I walked by the usual cubicles and noticed that conversation became subdued as I headed for my desk. I could feel sweat running down my neck, even though it was probably fifty-five degrees in the building.
Heather hadn’t arrived, so at least I didn’t have to deal with her comments just yet. I still felt eyes on me, but I did my best to ignore them and settled behind my desk, fingers tapping away at the keys as I started my workday.
“Fuck me, Alister. Is that really you?” Shit, did she have to be so loud?
I groaned internally as I looked up from the computer screen to see Heather gaping at me. It wasn’t a pretty sight and she had a lot of fillings. “Yes, it’s me. Something I can help you with? I’m kind of busy.”
“Someone’s feeling snooty,” she said and sniffed. “You’re the talk of the company, man.”
“How is this unusual?” I retorted, focusing again on my work.
But she wasn’t done. “Everyone’s in a tizzy over how hot you look, though frankly, I don’t see it. The hair’s nice, though.” With that, she flounced back to her seat and ignored me the rest of the morning.
Why did I tolerate this woman? With a sigh, I worked on the spreadsheet before me until my cell phone buzzed. I took it out and read the text message. Jaiden wanted to meet for lunch again to go over what I’d done so far and assess delivery expectations. How did he get my…? Oh, right, the company directory.
I texted that I was free, and after some back and forth, we decided to return to the same sandwich shop. I was left with a queasy stomach until lunchtime, hoping I wouldn’t embarrass myself yet again.
A few members of staff who never talk to me stopped by from time to time, wanting to borrow something or ask where to find a document. The amount of attention I received was very distracting, and when I looked at the time on the monitor, I had to hustle to get what I wanted done before lunch.
* * * *
I joined the line just behind Jaiden, who was one person away from the cashier. “Sorry I’m late, sir. I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”
“No worries, Alister,” he said over his shoulder before addressing the woman behind the counter who had flirted with him the last time we were here.
When it was my turn, I was surprised to see a flirtatious look come into her eyes as I stammered through what kind of sandwich I wanted. Her fingers lingered in my hand when she gave me the change, which left me even more flustered as I moved down the counter to give the specific ingredients for my order.
Sitting down was never such a relief as it was right then. “What is wrong with people today? Everyone wants to touch me, for some reason,” I mumbled to myself as I arranged my food and handed the folder to Jaiden.
“That’s what happens when you dress like that,” he replied as he took note of what I was wearing. “Hugo Boss, right?”
I nodded, and I probably shouldn’t be surprised that he knew suits.
“Nice haircut, by the way.”
“Th-thanks. My roommate dragged me out this weekend to do some shopping and grooming, obviously. I wouldn’t normally do this myself.”
“Well, you should, not that there was anything wrong with the way you dressed before. I mean, to each his own. But if you’re going to keep this up, be prepared for being harassed and flirted with constantly. If you need some tips, I’d be glad to help you out.” Really? I could certainly use the help, if he was willing and not blowing smoke up my ass.
Jaiden took a bite of his chicken salad sandwich and chewed. “Anyway, tell me about the project. Any problems so far?”
We spent lunchtime discussing strategies and I made a few suggestions that he seemed to think were brilliant.
“You’re made for this kind of work, Alister. I don’t know why the hell you’re in HR.” I didn’t kiss ass, for one thing.
I shrugged as I swallowed a bite of my Southwest BLT sandwich. “I started there as an intern and never left.” I’d never thought of leaving, either. Figured, with my track record, socially speaking, I would remain where I was until they fired me or something. It was the shiny, friendly people who didn’t trip over their laces or spill coffee once a day that got ahead. Funnily enough, I hadn’t done either of those this morning. Huh.
“Well, I think you’re wasted where you are.” He smiled at me, then cleared his throat. “So, one more week? We should do something to celebrate once this is over. I’m throwing a party at my house next Saturday. You should come. Bring a friend or two, if you like.” As if I had more than one.
My eyes were probably as wide as saucers. “Me?” I squeaked. “You’re inviting me to a party?” That had never happened to me before.
Jaiden frowned. “Yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No! I…sorry, I’m just…surprised is all. Sure, thanks, I’ll come.” And drag Anderson along with me so I wouldn’t embarrass myself too much.
Jaiden smiled, seeming relieved, for some reason. “Great! I’ll make sure you have my address closer to that date.” He finished his sandwich and wip
ed his mouth with a napkin, which just drew my eyes to his lips and wishing I knew what they tasted like. Would his tongue curve around mine as we kissed hungrily, no breath to spare? Would he…?
“Alister?” I blinked and tried not to blush as I realized I was daydreaming again. I looked at Jaiden but realized he was staring at someone to my left, mouth slightly agape. When I turned my head, my stomach dropped to see Heather all dolled up, her hair a mass of perfection, and that outfit—she hadn’t been wearing that skirt this morning. And it was so…short.
“Heather,” I said, not sure what was going on. “You having lunch?”
“Duh,” she replied with an eye roll. “When I saw you here with Jaiden, I thought I’d come over and say ‘hello.’” She cocked her hip and winked at him, leaning over slightly so her cleavage was very visible. Jaiden seemed decidedly uncomfortable.
“Well, we’re, uh, having a lunch meeting, but it’s nice to see you.”
Jaiden still hadn’t said anything.
She looked a bit put out. “Oh, well I…I was having lunch by myself and I thought it would be nice to have company. You don’t mind, do you?” She batted her lashes at Jaiden, who, though he seemed annoyed, dutifully invited her to sit with us.
Smiling triumphantly, Heather scurried back to her table and brought the remains of her salad and an open can of soda to join us. I quickly put the documents we’d been discussing on the floor, and left Heather to take over the conversation and completely ignore my presence.
She also somehow managed to spill the can of soda all over my new suit, and her fake “sorry” didn’t fool me for a minute. I sopped up the liquid as best I could, my temporary high for a morning without accidents now deflated, and my ego was back to its regular low.
Whenever Jaiden tried to include me in conversation, Heather swooped in to make it all about her. After a few minutes of this, I decided I’d had enough and excused myself from the table. I needed to go home and change anyway.
Jaiden tried to catch my eye as I left, but I couldn’t bear to see pity or anything else in his gaze.
At home, I pulled on a new black turtleneck and gray pants, then headed back to work. Heather wasn’t at her desk, which was a relief for me. If she had been, I might have lost my temper, something I hadn’t done in over a decade and preferred to keep under wraps. It took a lot to provoke me, but Heather was really at the tipping point.
What a bitch.
* * * *
The night of the party at Jaiden’s house, Anderson dressed me in a long-sleeved pin-striped shirt with black leather pants that were a bit snug. When I complained about this, he ignored me.
As for my roommate, his shirt was shimmery and pants just as shiny. The guy he’d met when we’d gone clothes shopping—Albert—was at our apartment a lot, and he would be coming to the party tonight. He was dressed similarly to Anderson, and he wore eyeliner, which Anderson demanded he wore as well. Whatever was going on with the two men, they seemed to be having fun.
I was nervous when we arrived at Jaiden’s home using Lyft. The house was a two-story deal and it had shutters on the upstairs windows. I’d love to see it in daylight. It appeared huge to me, compared to my modest apartment.
The music and voices coming from inside were overwhelming, but then, I didn’t get invited to things like this, unless it was an office party of some sort. And I’d like to put the Wookie incident behind me, thank you very much.
Since the front door was unlocked, we let ourselves in and were immediately engulfed by a sea of people, most of whom I recognized from work. I lost Anderson and Albert to the makeshift dancefloor and disco ball overhead, which left me to find something to drink and a corner to hide in to keep from embarrassing myself, inevitably.
Before I could make it to one of the bars, however, a firm hand grabbed my arm and pulled me through the crowd to a relatively quiet corner near the stairs. When we stopped, I lost my footing and slammed into…Jaiden.
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I stepped away, willing myself not to sink to the floor. He looked hot and handsome in his snug designer jeans and dark purple fitted turtleneck, which molded to every muscle I hadn’t even guessed had been hidden beneath those fancy suits of his. God, he was so out of my league.
I knew my mouth was hanging open and I was likely drooling like an idiot, but I said, “You…uh…you clean up well.” Jesus, really? And I hadn’t even had alcohol yet. Maybe I should just sew my mouth shut.
Thankfully, Jaiden thought it was funny. “Thanks, I guess. You look good, too.” And the way his eyes smoldered—smoldered, I tell you—was enough to keep my fantasies going for a long time.
“Uh, thanks,” was the best I could come up with.
He smiled again and said, “You don’t take compliments well, do you?”
“I don’t get them often enough to practice, I guess.” I looked away briefly, not wanting to see pity in his eyes. “I brought my roommate, Anderson, and his friend along. Thanks for the invitation. Great party, by the way. Everyone looks like they’re having fun and—”
“There you are!” a familiar female voice shrieked, and I wanted to slap myself for thinking that Jaiden was treating me special by inviting me to this party. He’d invited everyone, including Heather. I was such an idiot.
Heather hung onto Jaiden’s arm like a lifeline, already swaying slightly on her ridiculously clad feet. “I couldn’t find you, Jaid. I thought you were hiding from me.” She smiled up into his face and I could smell the alcohol fumes from where I stood.
“Oh, hey, Alister. Not dressed like a Wookie, I see.” She laughed herself silly. “You should have seen it, Jaid. Our last office party, Alister threw up all over the boss. It was the funniest thing ever. Someone made a meme about it…wait. She fumbled with her phone and almost dropped it twice before she brought up the meme and showed Jaiden. At least for his part, he didn’t seem amused.
I felt my temper rising. I’d been having an okay evening, and had Jaiden’s attention, and now…I was pissed. I clenched my fists and took deep breaths, but nothing helped to calm me. Finally, I just snapped.
“You are such a bitch!” I yelled, causing Heather to startle and actually drop her phone this time.
Conversation nearby hushed, though the music still blared, and Jaiden was looking at me like I had two heads, but concerned. Way to impress the dude, man. I was beyond caring, though.
“You make fun of me and other people like none of us have feelings. You act like you’re so superior all the time, putting people down so you can look better. Is that what it takes for you to feel good about yourself?”
Heather swallowed, her face white with shock. “Al, it was just a joke. I—”
“It’s not fucking funny! It never is! I’m sick and tired of your bullshit. You think every man wants you because you wear a short skirt and push your breasts in his face. Could you be any more of a skank whore?” Okay, maybe that was a little too far.
She gasped and became furious. Stepping away from Jaiden, she got up in my face and poked my chest with a pointy fingernail. “How would you know, you fucking faggot? You moon over Jaiden like some lovesick idiot, hoping he’ll see you as the only one for him. A guy like you could never get a guy like him. Go back to wearing your fucking ugly blazers and crooked bowties, you little cunt. Nobody cares about your new wardrobe. It doesn’t change anything. You’re a loser. You’ll always be a loser.”
I shoved her back hard, causing her to stumble against Jaiden and squeal in outrage. Jaiden had remained silent the whole time. His expression had become unreadable, but I had no illusions about our “relationship.” We’d worked together for a short time, it was over now, and I would go back to working in HR. Life would go on.
My anger deflated right then and left me hollow. Was that how Heather had really felt about me? How everyone felt? I couldn’t…
I excused myself quickly and sought out Anderson and Albert. But they were currently holding court with a bunch of people on the othe
r side of the room and looked to be having too much fun to deal with my non-issues. I sent a text to Anderson and headed outside to wait for Lyft to pick me up after I scheduled a ride.
It was time to get out of my dream world and back to reality.
* * * *
Except, on Monday morning, I decided, to hell with everyone. I liked my new clothes and haircut and they made me feel good about myself, for the most part. Fuck Heather and all the rest if they couldn’t handle it. I was doing this for me, not them.
Anderson hadn’t come home until Sunday afternoon, when he told me he and Albert had gotten frisky at his friend’s apartment. He didn’t seem weirded out by it at all. In fact, he decided that Albert would be his fuck buddy and teach him all he needed to know about gay sex. I was happy for him.
When he’d asked me about my evening, I’d been vague, and he didn’t push, thankfully. Now it was time to go to work. I straightened my tie and adjusted the collar on my dark teal shirt before adding the jacket and heading out the door.
Everyone stared at me as I walked by, but it wasn’t in a mean way, surprisingly. A few people even nodded at me, and I nodded back. Whatever was going on, I didn’t care.
I got to my desk and set my messenger bag on top before going to IT and asking Melvin to remove my access to the Finance directory on the server. He smiled at me in a friendly way and patted me on the back.
“I’m gonna have to call you ‘Balls of Steel Al’ from now on,” he said before turning to his monitor and tapping a few keys. “You ripped Heather a new one, man. Nobody’s ever done that. And she called in sick today, too, so I heard. Dude, you are awesome.”
I didn’t feel awesome. “Uh, thanks?”
“Oh, and nice suit, man. I’m glad you took my advice. Don’t let those idiots walk all over you. Their petty lives are just that. Petty. Hold your head up and keep on walking. We should do lunch. Now get lost, I’m busy.”
I went back to my desk and got to work. I learned later in the week that Heather had transferred to another department. Of Jaiden, I neither saw nor heard a word from him. What did I expect? It had been only a temporary working relationship, after all. And the things Heather had said in front of him about me, and what I had said? There was no reason to believe he’d want to associate with the disaster that I was unless absolutely necessary.
