by J. M. Snyder
“You really see me this way?”
“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. I’ll start to think you’re fishing.” Beau stepped closer and now, only a few swirling snowflakes separated the two men. “What made my eyes see you as you really are is that one word you wrote on the note you left for me.”
“Love?”
“Love!”
There was nothing left to say and Jeanne-Marie stepped forward. Within a split second, they were in one another’s arms. After a frenzy of kissing, Beau whispered in Jeanne-Marie’s ear, “I’m staying.”
Jeanne-Marie smiled and Beau could see only the beautiful face he had drawn, the face he loved. Beau said, “It’s cold.”
“Let’s go inside, where we can get warm.” Jeanne-Marie turned and gestured for the driver to be on his way, then threw his arm across Beau’s shoulders to guide him inside.
THE END
A-dork-able by J.D. Walker
Every New Year’s Day, I make the resolution to be less of a dork. You’d think after ten years of this, I’d have succeeded, and maybe—just maybe—some guy would look my way and see me as dating material instead of the occasional tryst. But each attempt to transform myself into some suave man-about-town just made things worse, not better.
Like the most recent office costume party on New Year’s Eve where I’d been dressed as a Wookie, gotten drunk because no one wanted to talk to the big hairy geek, and thrown up all over my boss, Mr. Watkins—I’d removed the head from my outfit as it had been stifling and keeping me from the alcohol. Bad idea, in hindsight.
My attempts to apologize to the man who signed my paychecks had been slurred, smelly, and a bit handsy. Well, Watkins was hot and I was inebriated and desperately horny—can you blame me? His husband had not been amused. It was a wonder I’d not been fired. Naturally, I had to pay a ridiculous fee for soiling the costume, too. My coworkers still talked about the “incident.” I was surprised someone hadn’t made a meme out of it. Oh, wait…
Anyway, as far as humiliation and awkward encounters went, that one took the cake. I decided then and there that resolutions were crap and I was better off without them. I would embrace my dorkness and to hell with everyone else. And, no, that wasn’t another resolution. It was simply an affirmative statement of action that…oh, to hell with it.
My roommate and best friend Anderson Mercury—supposedly straight, great abs, sleeps with chicks and watches gay porn because “it rocks,” he says—was always telling me there was nothing wrong with the way I was, and I should be myself—with an updated wardrobe—and to hell with the world. Maybe he was right. And maybe I should tell him he was actually bi-curious and to stop kidding himself.
That not-a-resolution of mine lasted about three weeks until I met the new guy in Finance and immediately wanted to have his babies, along with every other male and female in the company, no matter their relationship status.
* * * *
“Alister Redgrave?” I heard a male voice say behind me. I was in the breakroom, fiddling with the Keurig. The water wasn’t flowing, which meant the damn thing was blocked up again and I’d have to clean it. Why did this always happen to me?
“Yeah, who wants to know?” I asked distractedly as I focused on the task at hand.
“I’m new here and thought I’d introduce myself.”
That so? Wonder how he knew my name. Then again, I was one of only three redheads on this floor, the other two being female.
I pressed the buttons again to brew my hot chocolate, and this time, it worked. I did a little fist pump and turned to face the newbie. It was a good thing I didn’t have anything in my hand because I would have likely made a mess. The man was absolutely fabulous, from his carefully styled black hair, to his well-fitted suit, to the shiny leather shoes he wore. His pale blue eyes were stunning, and a handsomer face I had yet to see in this lifetime.
Oblivious to my inner fascination, he held out a hand. “Jaiden Greyson, Assistant CFO.”
“Nice to meet you,” I replied, shaking his hand in a daze until I saw the slight frown on his face. I quickly let go and mumbled an apology before turning to tend to my hot chocolate. Unfortunately, I’d chosen the wrong-sized cup, and now there was a brown mess on the counter.
Embarrassed in front of the man of my dreams, I cleaned up and headed back to my desk without saying another word. Hot cocoa could wait until my face wasn’t bright red with mortification. And since I was a freckly redhead, that meant I was red everywhere. Way to make an impression on my would-be future baby daddy.
Heather, who sat in the cubicle next to mine, leaned back in her chair and whispered loudly, “Have you seen the new hottie from Finance?”
We weren’t friends, per se, but she would deign to talk to me from time to time, as it suited her purposes.
“Yeah, met him in the breakroom.” It was fortunate no one else had witnessed yet another one of my “moments.”
“I hear he’s one for the ladies and gentlemen,” she said, her smile a bit rabid. Thankfully she didn’t froth at the mouth. “He’s forty-one, though he doesn’t look it.”
“Where on earth did you hear all that?” I asked while I worked on the job analyses Mr. Watkins had requested be on his desk by eleven-thirty, or else. He’d been a bit testy with me lately. I wonder why.
I didn’t see her do it, but I knew Heather was rolling her eyes. It was the way she sighed that clued me in. “I don’t even know why I talk to you. Don’t you keep up with office gossip?”
“I suppose I would, if anyone other than you and my boss spoke to me, unless forced to, or to make fun of something I did.”
“Please, you should be used to that by now. You’re the only non-Millennial in this department, except for me, and you have six years on me, even. You need to grow thicker skin, I keep telling you.” She huffed and went back to typing on her keyboard.
Whatever Heather said, thicker skin wouldn’t change the way things were. Jaiden Greyson, sumptuous specimen that he was and clearly out of my league, would learn all about “awkward Al” and run screaming in the other direction, like everyone else did.
Story of my life.
* * * *
“The Finance department needs assistance for a few weeks with a time-sensitive project, and I volunteered you for the task, Alister,” Mr. Watkins said to me a few days later as I tried and failed not to stare at the new assistant CFO standing next to the boss’s desk.
Did he have to look so good all the time? His hair was neat, as always, but I wondered what it would look like mussed after a sweaty night of sex. He was the same height as me, at six-foot-two, though a bit broader. What would it feel like having him in my arms, breathing in his scent, licking his skin all over…?
“You will be reporting directly to Jaiden, starting this afternoon,” Watkins continued as I caught my temporary supervisor’s eye and quickly looked away, willing myself not to blush. I really needed to get a hold of myself. “You’ll still work at your desk, but you may be required to work longer hours during this period.”
Watkins stood and walked to the door, opening it as he said, “I’ll leave you two to hash out the details.” As soon as we left the office, the door slammed behind us.
“Bit of a character, isn’t he?” Jaiden asked.
I was so stunned he spoke to me, I tripped over something invisible on the carpet and fell flat on my face.
“Are you all right?” Jaiden asked as he helped me to my feet. Naturally, this had happened in front of the entire HR department, and I didn’t hear the snickers, but I knew they were there, somewhere.
“I’m fine, thanks,” I said on a sigh as I led the way to my desk. When we got there, Heather chose that opportunity to introduce herself.
“Heather Antwerp, Senior Associate,” she practically purred, slowly releasing his hand. “I’ve heard wonderful things about you, Jaiden.” She flipped her long brown hair over a shoulder, arched her back, and gave him a smoldering glance from
clear gray eyes. I wanted to punch her.
“We should do lunch sometime so I can tell you all about the little quirks in this company and get to know each other better.”
I’d seen Heather work her magic on other male coworkers. It hadn’t bothered me until today.
She glanced at me. “I hear you’ll be working with our Alister.” She winked. “Lookout, he can be a bit of a klutz, but he means well.”
Way to make me look good, Heather.
Jaiden smiled, though it seemed forced. “I’m a bit busy right now, getting to know the company and coming up to speed on projects. I’ll take a raincheck on that lunch, okay?” Then he turned his back on her. “Why don’t we go to my office and I’ll show you what I need help with?”
I saw Heather’s glower over Jaiden’s shoulder, but made no comment. I simply nodded and followed him to the elevator, then up two floors to the Finance department.
The layout was similar to that of HR, and I recognized a few of the staff, though they were all buried in spreadsheets and such, from what I could tell as I passed. Once we reached Jaiden’s office, he indicated a chair and I sat as he got comfortable behind his desk.
He immediately launched into the specifics of the project, and I did my best to follow what he was saying, instead of wondering how firm and full his lips might be when kissed, the resonance of this voice, the smell of his cologne, the way his long, thick fingers seemed to caress the monitor like a lover…
“Alister?”
I blinked and looked at Jaiden, noting the frown on his face. “Sorry?”
“Did you hear what I said?”
Er, no. “Sure. I’ll get access to the files from IT and get to work right away.”
Jaiden seemed exasperated. “Not that part. I asked you to have lunch with me so we could go over a few documents.”
“Oh.” I was blushing, I just knew it. Why a thirty-seven-year-old man still turned burgundy at the drop of a hat was beyond me. “My apologies. Sure, that’s fine. What time?”
Jaiden shook his head. “One o’clock. Sorry it isn’t earlier, but I have a meeting at twelve with the CFO.” He stared at me for a few seconds. “Are you always like this? Head in the clouds?”
No one had ever really described it that way. They usually saw the clumsy and the awkward and zeroed in on that. “Sometimes. I’ll try to keep that to a minimum, sir.” But it wouldn’t stop my dreams at night, though.
I stood hastily and managed to catch the chair before it fell over. “See you at lunch, then. I-I’ll meet you in the lobby?” I left before he could answer and sat at my desk minutes later, completely mortified.
I could practically feel Heather’s jealousy through the partition that separated us, but that was the least of my problems at the moment. I was going to make a fool of myself whenever Jaiden was around, and there was nothing I could do about it. Who was I kidding? A man like that would never look at me twice when he had people like Heather throwing themselves at him.
How was I ever going to survive the next few weeks?
* * * *
Lunch wasn’t that bad, in the beginning. Jaiden had chosen a sandwich shop about two blocks away that had wide tables where customers could eat and work, which was what we did.
The cashier flirted outrageously with him, as did the guy who made his sandwich. By the time we sat at our table, he looked annoyed.
“You seem to have a fan club wherever you go,” I said jokingly before biting into my bacon guacamole. Yum.
“I suppose I should be used to it by now, but it still gets on my nerves.” That surprised me.
“You don’t like being adored by men and women?” I’d never experienced that, myself.
He took a bite of his Cuban sandwich and chewed for a bit before replying, “I prefer to be adored by one person, and it needs to be real and not based on looks, my Armani suit, or my bank account.” Huh.
“I see.”
We finished our meal before delving into the documents Jaiden had brought with him. This time, I made sure to pay attention to what he was saying, though it was distracting as hell being so close to him.
When it was time to go back to work, I thanked him for lunch and grabbed the folder we’d been reviewing. Unfortunately, when I stood, I bumped into one of the customers who’d been typing on her cell phone with one hand and carrying her sandwich in the other, her drink held under an armpit.
The drink went all over my suit, and in the ensuing madness, I stepped on her sandwich and skidded on the floor, landing on my butt. All I heard was laughter and the screams of the woman calling me an asshole and saying I needed to pay for her meal, and so on.
Somehow, the folder remained dry. I got up, noting the state of my attire, and decided it would be best to go to my apartment, which was only a few blocks away, and change. I looked up to see Jaiden pacifying the woman, charming her with his smile and buying her another meal. I left them to it.
* * * *
I returned to my desk forty-five minutes later, freshly changed and ready to put the debacle behind me. I didn’t even want to know what Jaiden thought of me right now.
“You’re back late. Something happen at lunch?” Heather asked, her smirk informing me that she already knew. God, how many people from the company had been at the sandwich shop?
“Nothing more than the usual,” I mumbled and focused on my computer. When I tried to get to the Finance drive on the server, I remembered that I needed to get IT to give me access. At least it gave me an excuse to get away from Heather for a few minutes.
I headed for the first floor where IT was housed and found Melvin, the guy everyone went to for help. I hated him because, as good as he was, he was a mean sonofabitch with a caustic tongue. At least I knew he wasn’t just picking on me. He did it to everyone.
“What’s up, Awkward Al?” was his usual greeting, and he didn’t disappoint this time.
I rolled my eyes. “Need access to Finance on the server. I’m working with Jaiden Greyson.”
“Oh, yeah, I got an email from him. Give me a sec.” He set aside the tiny screwdriver he’d been fiddling with and typed on his keyboard for a minute. “You now have access to Finance,” he said as he pressed the “Enter” button. He swung around his chair and grinned at me. “So, you getting up close and personal with the new guy?”
“What—no! He’s my boss, and I just met him.” This was turning into a very surreal conversation.
“Wouldn’t blame you if you did. That man is all kinds of fine. But you really need to work on the klutz and the confidence, man. I used to be just like you, when I was a teen, but I learned fast that being mean got me respect.”
At my dubious expression, he said, “Well, it keeps people at arm’s length, anyway. And who are you to judge me anyhow? You should try something new, like maybe lose the bowties and try to find a suit that fits you. If you want, I can get my boyfriend to give you a discount. He works at a men’s clothing store.”
I gaped at him. “You have a boyfriend?”
He winked. “Wonders never cease, right?” He swung his chair back around and picked up his screwdriver again. “Get lost, Awkward Al. I’ve got work to do.”
I left quickly and got back to my desk, focused on impressing the hell out of Jaiden and thinking up ways not to be a total failure in front of the man. This would take some doing.
* * * *
When I got home that night, I heard grunts and groans coming from the laptop in Anderson’s room, which meant he was whacking off to gay porn again. He did this so often it had become like white noise in the apartment. I’d offer to take him to a gay bar so he could experience the real thing, but my own forays weren’t that noteworthy and I’d only end up embarrassing both of us.
I heated up leftover spaghetti and meat sauce while I showered and dressed in a threadbare white T-shirt and red Star Trek boxer shorts. Yes, I have a thing for Star Wars and Star Trek, okay? I piled the food on a plate and sat on the old couch in front of the TV
, ready to catch up on my shows.
Halfway through Gotham, Anderson finally stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the loveseat. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said on a sigh as he ran his fingers through sweaty hair.
“I’m not surprised,” I replied before turning back to the TV.
“How’d it go with lunch today?” Oh, great, he’s chatty.
“It was fine until some woman bumped into me and I ended up on the floor after slipping on her sandwich, and her drink ruined my shirt and jacket. I really impressed Jaiden, let me tell you.”
“Geez, Al. It’s like you have a cloud over you or something.”
“Probably,” I grumbled. I stared at the TV for a few minutes before asking, “Do you think I need to change the way I dress? Someone said something to me today and I’m not sure how to take it.”
Anderson’s eyes lit up with glee. “Oh, thank God! Yes, you need to stop dressing like your grandfather. I know you like to save money, my friend, but shopping for blazers and pants at the secondhand store isn’t always the best way to go when you’re trying to make an impression.”
“What difference would a fitted suit make? I’d still be the same boring klutz, like always.” It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford nicer clothing. I simply never thought about it. But now that Jaiden was sort of in the picture…
“But you’d be a klutz in a suit, and that would make a big difference, let me tell you.” He stood and went to the kitchen. “Let me take you shopping on Saturday, alright? We’ll get you a new wardrobe that will make those assholes you work with think twice about making fun of you.”
“You don’t really have to do that. I can do this by myself.” And probably get laughed out of the store by the sales people.
“Yes, I do. I’m so happy you’re finally taking a step into the twenty-first century, at least clothing-wise.”
Anderson was a clothes horse, believe it or not. He’d been bugging me for years to do something about my wardrobe. What could I say? I grew up with my granddad, God rest his soul, and I emulated the way he’d dressed. He’d been a cool guy, though stern, but he’d taken me in when there’d been no one else.
