Don't Tempt the Phoenix

by CJ England

  That caught her attention. “What?”

  “It’s true,” he gritted out. “I have kept my true identity from everyone since I left my home and began to travel the earth. I was not allowed to share this secret. It was forbidden.”

  “With anyone?”

  Milcham paused for a moment then his eyes met hers. “I am only allowed to share this with the one woman who I consider my twin-flame.”

  She flinched as if struck and his gut clenched. “Assai…please…you don’t understand. I was going to tell you.”

  Aithne felt like her heart was bleeding. She’d asked for the truth. But it hurt so much to actually hear it. “Don’t…please.”

  “It’s true,” he insisted. “The other night, after you found out about the arson, I told you I had something to tell you. Remember?”

  She nodded slowly. “I remember you said you were afraid.” She searched his face for the truth. “Is this what you meant?”

  “Yes.”

  “Of what?” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “Aithne,” he gritted out her name almost angrily. “Do you think it’s easy to tell the woman you love that you aren’t human? That you are almost as old as the earth itself. Do you think words can express the loneliness of immortality, or the pain of seeing your friends die of old age, while you stay young and healthy.” He paced over to the other side of the room.

  “I have been searching for my twin-flame for almost eight hundred years. Eight long, lonely centuries. Longing to find the one woman I could call my own. I’d grown weary of looking. Had accepted that I would go back to my walled city alone.” He turned and his golden eyes burned into hers.

  “And then I met you.”

  Aithne’s breathe caught in her throat. The look in his eyes made her chest ache and her eyes swim with tears.

  “I didn’t expect to fall like this. With a woman whose gifts and beliefs I didn’t understand and had trouble accepting. You were so different than what I had anticipated, I fought our attraction…ignored my feelings for you.” He took a step closer. “It was only when I almost lost you that I began to admit to myself how I felt.” He shook his head. “But even then, I couldn’t believe you could be the one.”

  “Why? Am I so bad?” Her throat ached with unshed tears.

  “No. God, no.” He came closer and brushed the hair back from her face. As she watched, his eyes filled with tears and using his finger, he caught one and dabbed it gently at a cut on her cheek. It stung slightly and then the pain went away. Turning, she looked in the mirror over the dresser and she could see the cut had disappeared.

  “Assai, you are perfect. That is why I was so afraid.” Gently, he treated the other wounds on her face with the same healing touch. “Once I realized I was completely and totally in love with you, I wanted to tell you. But if you weren’t my real soulmate…if this was just an overwhelming attraction, I wasn’t sure what would happen to you.”

  “You think that…I’d be punished?”

  He framed her face in his hands, rejoicing that she wasn’t pushing him away. “I worried…yes. But I knew I needed to tell you anyway. I love you in a way I’ve never felt in all my immortal life.” His eyes fell. “But I didn’t know how you would react. I was afraid you’d turn away from me. So I made the decision to tell you just before I have to leave to go back to the fire.”

  “Back to the fire?”

  He sighed again. “My thousand years are almost up. Soon I have to leave this place. To keep my immortality, I must return to the walled city and be born again.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “I admit it. I was selfish. If you were to turn away from me, I didn’t want to lose even a minute with you. I am truly sorry.”

  She pulled away and walked over to the bed. “And then we had the accident and you didn’t have a choice, but to show me who you were.”

  “Yes.” He’d expected her to be much angrier. Would have preferred it to the pain he saw in her eyes. The knowledge he’d hurt her, almost killed him.

  “Saving Alexander’s life was more important than keeping the truth from me.”

  Milcham flinched, but he nodded. “I love you Aithne, and I want you to be with me, but if I had let him die, I would never have forgiven myself. I had to do what was right.”

  Aithne took a deep breath. Her jumbled emotions made it hard to think. “But why would you think I’d turn away? Milcham…my two best friends are supernaturals. I’m not afraid of them.”

  He blinked. “I…I never thought of it that way. I just kept thinking you would look at me with disgust in your eyes.”

  “That’s what upsets me the most,” she said quietly. “I loved you and you didn’t trust me. You even trusted Alexander and Jarrod before me.”

  “Assai. Them finding out was an accident. The only reason they know is because I couldn’t let you die in the tent fire. They saw my Phoenix form carry you out. I know now, I should have told you too, but like I said. I was too selfish…too afraid I would lose you. Please…forgive me.”

  She was silent for a long moment and then she sighed. “I want to, Milcham, but I don’t know if I can. It seems like everything has been against us from the beginning. First you think I’m evil, and then we both pushed each other away. Then you hide things from me. I’m tired of fighting. She rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Besides…where do we go from here? The man I love is immortal and I’m not. It’s not like we have a future together. I thought we did, but...”

  The irony made her pause. When she was Aidan’s familiar, she was as good as immortal. But then Dawn had taken her place and she’d left to find her own twin-flame, happy to be human again. Her chance at some type of immortality was gone.

  Now she found that not only had she found her soulmate, it was the loss of her hated immortality that would eventually separate them.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Milcham’s heart pounded. This was it. What he’d waited for almost eight centuries to do. “What if I told you we could have a future together?”

  Her emerald eyes met his. “What do you mean?”

  “Assai…I was sent to this world to find my other half. My soulmate. You know this. I believe I found her in you. It was only my fear and selfishness that prevented me from telling you who I was. But it was never because I didn’t love you. I did. I do.”

  “I still don’t understand.”

  He walked over to her and carefully took her hands, still unsure of his reception. “I want you to come with me when I go back to my home. Let me share all that I truly am with you.”

  Her lips parted. “Come with you? Back to your special city? Can I do that?”

  His heart beat even faster. “Yes.” He touched her cheek with a gentle finger. “You are the only one I have ever asked, Aithne. You are who I want to spend eternity with.”

  “If we go to your special city, we can be together…forever?”

  “The city is the first step. If you are happy there, then, if you still wish it, I will tell you how we can share our lives together.”

  She frowned at him. “Why can’t you tell me now?”

  His eyes slid away. He still cringed at the thought of telling her about the fire. He would work up to it. Once she was in his beautiful home, perhaps it would be easier for her to understand. “It is best to let you see things a little at a time.”

  There was a pregnant silence. Then, furious all over again, Aithne jerked away from him and paced to the door. She flung it open and turned to him. “Get out!”

  His eyes widened. “What?”

  “You still want to keep things from me? After everything we’ve been through? You haven’t learned anything at all, Milcham!”

  His jaw clenched as he understood her meaning. “I do this to protect you, Assai.”

  Aithne tossed her head. “Like you did about the arson? Or keeping your identity from me?” She glared at him. “If that’s the way it is, then…no! I don’t want to go with you.”

  Milcham was
so astonished by the refusal, he staggered back away from her. “You say no to me? I have never offered this to another woman…and you say no?”

  Her eyes flashed. “While I am humbled to know I’m the only one,” she hissed sarcastically. “If you can’t be honest with me, I don’t want any part of it. I deserve better, Milcham.” She pointed out the door. “Please leave.”

  Anger and sorrow and pain filled him as he stood staring at her. The woman he loved was turning him down. In all his years, he’d never imagined this scenario. But she stood with her chin raised, her beautiful eyes filled with tears, and he knew she meant every word of what she said.

  As if in a dream, he walked toward the door. How could it end this way? He’d found his mate, just to lose her again? As he passed Aithne, he could smell the sweet scent of her perfume and his heart ached with grief. He remembered all the long lonely years of his past and he thought of all the years ahead without her. Suddenly, he couldn’t bear it.

  Turning, he pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her fragrant hair. “I can’t,” he choked out. “I won’t leave you. Don’t ask this of me. I love you, Aithne. I can’t walk away from you. I’d rather stay here with you and become mortal, than leave you, knowing what we mean to each other.”

  Aithne was pummeled by the force of his emotions. He wasn’t hiding them now. What he felt, was all over his face, in the shaking of his body pressed against hers. In the tears she could feel touching her cheeks. Her own love expanded and went out to intertwine with his. Slowly her arms went up and encircled him.

  He shuddered. “Tell me what to do, Assai. How can I make this right?” He pulled away from her and looked down into her face. “You want to know everything? I’ll tell you. Just please…don’t ask me to leave.”

  Burying her face in his chest, she let the tears flow. He’d finally opened all the way up, letting her see his beautiful soul, just like her hungry heart needed. This was the gift she’d been looking for her whole life.

  “Assai,” he whispered, framing her wet face in his hands. “Tell me it’s not too late. We love each other. We can fix this!”

  She shivered at the wealth of emotion in his voice. The wall of her anger and pain fell away, crashing to her feet. Leaning up, she kissed him tenderly. “I love you Milcham. Don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.”

  Her breath wooshed out of her, as he crushed her to him. His mouth slanted over hers with so much feeling, her knees immediately turned to water. His tongue dove deep between her lips as if he was parched for a drink of her. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over to the bed. As they fell down upon it, he continued to whisper words of love in her ears.

  His hand moved up to cup her breast and she gasped. “Tell me you want this,” he murmured. “If it is too fast—”

  She stopped his words with a hard kiss. “Love me, Milcham. Show me how forever will be with you.”

  His eyes glowed in happiness. Bending, he tasted her lips again. He groaned at the flavor. Always delicious, always sweet. He smiled against her mouth. This was not the fancy hotel he’d dreamed of, and instead of a delicious meal, they would have cold hamburgers and stale coffee, but it didn’t really matter where they were…the lovemaking would still be glorious.

  Their clothes melted off, piece by piece. They kept their eyes on each other, desire simmering as their nakedness was revealed. Aithne ran her hand down his chest to the throbbing evidence of his need for her. His loud groan made her hunger even more for him and it felt like it had been years since they’d made love together.

  He kissed her. Her lips, her cheeks, the indent of her chin. All were treated to his loving touch. His mouth moved down her neck to her shoulders, and he gave a growl when he saw torn flesh caused by the accident. She watched as tears welled up and then fell on her bruised skin. A momentary pain, and then the cut was gone, smoothed away as if only a bad memory.

  “I am so sorry you were hurt,” he whispered as his tongue tasted the crown of her breast. “I would do anything to keep you safe. Anything.”

  She arched against him, barely hearing the words over the sudden clamor of need he aroused in her body. Her body softened, her legs shifted, wanting to feel him deep inside of her.

  He smiled at her movements then sucked her nipple into his mouth. Her cry of delight sent tremors of heat through his own body. His cock pulsed against Aithne’s flat stomach, and he wondered suddenly what she would look like, heavy with his child.

  The thought almost sent him over the edge, and he had to pull back to regain control. He concentrated instead on touching her soft body, marveling she was in his arms and all was as it should be. His hand moved to between her legs and when she moaned again, he drove two fingers deep within her heated channel.

  She screamed and bucked against him. Covering her mouth with his, he used his fingers to fuck her, pulling all the way out, and then pushing deep inside of her again, all the while tickling her clit with his thumb.

  Her body was ablaze. He’d brought her to peak so quickly, Aithne didn’t have time to do anything but ride the river of fire. She desperately wanted him inside her, but the thought of him not touching her was more than she could contemplate. She didn’t have words to ask for more, so she just moaned into his mouth and moved against him, trying to entice him in the only way she knew how.

  When his mouth moved again to her breast, she couldn’t take anymore. Her body imploded, streams of red heat shot through her, all ending up where Milcham’s fingers danced in her quim. She cried out his name and climaxed, her mind blanking of everything but the feelings in her body and the love in her heart.

  Milcham hurt…he was so hard. His cock ached like a sore tooth and he could barely manage to wait till Aithne had come, before he removed his hand and replaced his fingers with his throbbing cock. When he slid deep into her, they both groaned again.

  He knew there was nothing like the feeling of your lover’s body held tightly against yours…surrounding you. He kissed her again and then began to thrust, hard and sure into her still trembling body.

  He felt her legs come up around him, and his balls pulled even tighter. He loved the feeling of his cock driving hard against her sensitive clit. He wanted to make her explode again, needing to feel her squeeze him with her orgasm.

  Her nails bit into his shoulders and leaning forward, she sucked his flat masculine nipple into her mouth. He growled at the exquisite feeling, and reaching down grabbed her butt, grinding himself against her.

  Her body tightened around him, squeezing him, just like he’d longed for. Holding back his own pleasure, he waited for her. When her eyes flew open and she screamed again, he let go of his control and joined her.

  Wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, they shattered, spinning out of control, feeling the burning heat of their climax mirrored in each other’s body. The white hot light of pure love danced around them, until they slowly, gently, drifted again back to earth.

  They lay…content in each other’s arms. All the anger and pain erased for the moment. After what had happened earlier, neither was eager to end the happy afterglow of their lovemaking.

  But eventually, Milcham stirred and kissed Aithne’s smiling mouth. “Thank you, Assai. For giving me another chance.”

  She brushed the hair out of his eyes. “I do love you, Milcham. And I want to be with you. I just want to know the truth from now on.”

  He sighed. “It will not be easy, but yes…I will tell you everything. I just hope you don’t judge me too harshly.”

  Her brows furrowed. “Judge you? Why would I judge you?”

  Rolling, he moved so she lay on top of him. He flipped her dark hair behind her shoulder. “I am not the same being that left the walled city, centuries ago. I have changed, and some of it wasn’t for the better. Being human in this world is much harder than I thought it would be.”

  “In what way?”

  “There are,” he swallowed hard, “many temptations out there.”

  A
ithne smiled. “You don’t have to be perfect, Milcham. All you have to do is try your best.”

  He pressed a kiss against her soft lips. “Thank you for that. It took me years to understand that was what Yahweh meant when he sent me out. In my walled city, it was very easy to be good and righteous, but in the real world…”

  “Not so easy?”

  “Almost impossible. But I did try. I still do. But I am not the same creature that left home eight centuries ago. I don’t know how I will be received.”

  She touched his cheek. “Don’t you think that God already knows what you’ve been through? Your struggles and successes? He does see all. He won’t be surprised.”

  “No,” Milcham said slowly, as if he were just thinking it through. “But because I have changed, he may treat me differently.”

  “How? What happened when you left the first time?”

  Milcham sighed. “I had lived in my city for over five millennia. At first it was paradise and I loved it, but then I realized something was missing.”

  “What?”

  He dropped a kiss on her nose. “I was lonely. Everyone in the city had someone to love. A mate to call their own. Everybody, but me.”

  Aithne heard the loneliness and her tender heart wept for him. “What…what happened to the female Phoenix ? The stories never speak of her.”

  Milcham’s eyes darkened with remembered pain and anger. “She…she decided to fall with the others. Nothing I said made any difference. When Eve tempted me, my mate stood right beside her.” He sighed. “Walking away from her was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.”

  She hugged him. “I’m so sorry!”

  Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her back. “If I had not stood firm, I wouldn’t be here with you today. I cannot be sorry about that.”

  “Still...five thousand years is a long time to go without.”

  His cheeks reddened. “In my city, I didn’t care. But once I became a man, my body had…needs. I found it wasn’t hard to have those needs taken care of.”