Dirty Wrong: BBW & Older Alpha (Off-Limits Love Book 1)

by Q. Zayne

  Branches lashed at me, spraying their loads of melted snow in my face. It was up to me to find her. I didn’t picture this place having a police force, and wouldn’t know where to find it if it did. The homes of the shifters were too widespread and distant, I couldn’t spare time to go for help in the search. Standing still and hoping the next animal who passed was a shifter wouldn’t cut it. I needed to stay in action.

  I took a deep sniff, the air was cold, it burned the inside of my nose. I imagined it forming ice crystals and cutting me, it was that frigid.

  No scent of Lida, no tracks in sight. Rocks and ice didn’t take prints. Frequent winds rearranged the alternately crunchy and sodden leaves. And her lithe movements rarely left any sign. I had no idea where to go.

  I walked as softly as I could, looking and scenting in all directions. My pelt offered no survival advantage here. I stuck out against the natural pale palette like an ink blot. I headed toward the relative safety of the woods.

  With my teeth and claws, my sheer size and physical power, I could better survive as a bear than as a human. My fat stores would last through a winter or times of scarcity. And my pelt offered more protection from the cold than a wool cape.

  There was one place I could go. The temple. She might have gone there for other supplies, given that she had capes stashed there. I appreciated the cape in my human form, those wool garments were all we had between us and the stone floor and frozen air when we slept. We slept in human form by mutual wordless agreement, as much because that was our compatible zone as because of the risk of being executed if we were caught asleep together by another shifter. What a world, so sensual and so dangerous.

  My run with Lida to the cave remained sharp in my mind, so I had no trouble finding my way on my run back to the temple.

  The signs of struggle marring that sacred place struck me like an eye punch I saw coming: inevitable and horrifying.

  Her paw prints, claws extended, showed in the mud exposed by leaves kicked aside. Booted feet, many of them, stomped through the temple’s clearing.

  My heart pounded and I listened hard for any sound, turning my head in all directions. I clenched my eyes shut and took in a long breath, exhaled to emptiness to find enough calm to force myself to examine the scene, fighting the stabbing pain in my heart.

  No blood. My only consolation. If they meant to kill her, they’d have done so on the spot.

  Unless they wanted her for some ritual sacrifice. I knew nothing about these beings. I reminded myself I knew nothing, not out of cruelty, but because I had to be prepared for anything if I was going to be any help to Lida.

  For this maneuver, going into the hunters’ terrain alone, she was better prepared than I, but going it alone was now my sole option. Although I had no connection to their faith, I bowed my head, praying I’d manage not to get caught in the process. Letting them capture us both would waste the risk Lida took to bring me here.

  Violated Temple

  The journey to the hunters took hours. I loped on all fours, keeping to rocks and hard, trackless trails where I could. I resisted the urge to make a full out run to get to her. Best to arrive with energy to fight, not depleted. A day of fast travel took a lot out of me. She deserved a younger mate. I forced back the angry thoughts and kept my mind on my task. Reach the hunters. Keep Lida safe. Tear their leader apart. I pictured rending him with my teeth and claws, his blood gushing tears flowing, his screams of death the sounds I most needed to hear to keep my strength up on the long road.

  While I yet had full daylight, I climbed a tree to scout the terrain ahead. I sighted their camp. I’d reach it before dark. The light changes were so subtle in this realm, I still wasn’t acclimated to the length of the days.

  My claws left deep gouges in the bark. Everywhere I went, I left signs. I didn’t fight it, beyond taking care not to leave an obvious trail. All my focus was on getting to Lida.

  Smells from their cooking fires made my belly rumble. Traveling in bear form sharpened the appetite I’d lost to Lida’s abduction. I slowed and approached the camp with my ears pricked, keeping my breathing and footfalls slow and soft. I circled the camp. A guarded area between tents looked likely for keeping a captive.

  I crept into the camp. I padded softly, moving as slow as I could to avoid detection. In the half-dark, I hoped to pass as a shadow between the tents. The horses were downwind or I wouldn’t have made it in without the hunters knowing it.

  The guard in the likely place hurried off, perhaps heeding nature’s call. I rushed between the tents. I stopped, shocked.

  Lida lay huddled on the floor of a cage, unkempt and in a state between tiger and woman, with tender paws, twitching tail and her cat face. What distress or torment could have made her this way? I wanted to kill all of the strangers. The leader first. A slow death for him.

  I mastered my breath. Even with my great size in bear form, I couldn’t take on as many of them as the camp contained.

  They bore weapons. I’d be no use to Lida if they captured me or injured me with their horrid barbed spears.

  They needed only to get one of those barbed spears deep enough through my hide to hit a vital place and I’d bleed to death in this primitive place. If I got help soon enough to survive blood loss, infection would take me after a miserable span of time.

  None of that mattered. All that mattered was getting Lida free. I neared the cage and snuffled low. She heard me. Her ears pricked and she lifted her head in my direction. Her distinct markings and the ringed pupils of her shining eyes made my heart surge. She’d be all right. I’d get her free, and she’d be all right.

  She shook her head, mimed with her paws walking away, the sun going down, walking back. I nodded to show I understood. She wanted me to come back after full dark. That made more sense than blundering ahead in clear view. I’d watch and wait. Maybe I could learn more about them, gain some advantage to help Lida escape. No doubt she had plans of her own. She wasn’t the sort to be passive and wait for rescue.

  I wanted to rip their faces off for putting her in a cage.

  I made myself breathe deep and slow to restore my calm. I needed to maintain my equilibrium, keep every strategic advantage. Now was not the time for emotion, it was the time for remaining alert. I made a kiss with my snout and she put out her tongue. I turned away while I could.

  Despite my size, I managed to make a soundless retreat. I found a group of thick-growing trees for a windbreak and cover. I could watch them without them seeing me. Maybe I could learn about the rhythms of their activities and get ideas for how we could escape. Given Lida’s weakened, half-shifted state, I had to be prepared to help her walk or to carry her.

  I doubted the horses would help us, but if we could stay on… no. We’d be better off trying for a soundless escape on foot. Even if I transformed to avoid scaring them, the horses might make too much noise at the approach of a stranger, and there might be a guard nearby. Lida’s tiger scent would terrify them. We had to get out on our own.

  From the cover of brush on the downwind side of the camp as close to Lida as I could be without risking giving away my position, I hunkered down to watch. Sweet relief to get off my aching paws and rest my muscles. I stretched out on my belly, prepared to spring up if I had to, growing calmer at the feel of the now-familiar ancestral soil under my body.

  The hunters seemed to move always in groups. I didn’t see one person take a stroll alone. They moved in sync with each other, three or more at all times. They didn’t speak, but sometimes they hummed.

  What had Lida said? They communicated by vibration. Their pointed ears had a bat-like appearance. An enemy that can signal members of their force without alerting anyone else had a significant strategic advantage. If anyone sighted me, instead of a warning shout, I’d hear nothing.

  Waiting put me in agony, but I kept stilling my mind, mastering myself for the task to come. I’d gotten clean from drugs one breath at a time, I could get through this, too. My whole existence focu
sed on extracting Lida unharmed from her captors. Nothing else mattered.

  In full dark, after all signs and movement ceased, I crept into the camp. A strip of turned earth provided quiet footing. They’d be stunned by my tracks in the morning, my big bear feet and claws making deep imprints from my weight. The buffalo might outweigh me, but when I rose up on my hind legs I was the most fearsome animal, towering above any person. I doubted these strangers had ever seen anything like me. I had the advantage of surprise.

  There’d been no movement near the cage for a long time. I saw no sign of the strangers as I approached, caught no fresh scent of anyone near. Compared to humans, the invaders from another realm had almost no scent at all. I strained all my senses, staying on full alert. Horses stamped, restive. They were upwind, but that might change.

  I ran to her. The bars kept me from her.

  The cage was locked. I pulled on the door, trying not to make a sound, but it squealed at my force. The lock held. I wasn’t sure how to ask her who had the key, and sound of footsteps warned me there wasn’t time.

  I hefted the cage in my paws, balanced it on my head with one hand and ran. The strain made my shoulders and legs scream. Freaking circus bear, but it was the only way we could escape. I would not leave her. There might not be any other chance to save her. Lida mewed in surprise and I put on speed getting her away into the woods before anyone could discover she was gone.

  Running tipped my precarious balance. I clawed a tree to keep from falling. If I dropped her now, they’d catch us. I moved as fast as I could. I couldn’t carry her for long in the cage. The weight made my chest burn with effort. Balancing on my hind legs while running and keeping the cage steady strained my ungainly bear form.

  We caught a break. No sound of alarm or pursuit. I had to risk setting her down to break into the cage. We’d move a lot faster with her free.

  I put her down. She trembled, lacking enough pelt to warm her. Reaching into the cage, I put out my hand to soothe her. She flinched, then let me. I held her shoulder.

  “Lida, transform the rest of the way and you’ll be warmer. I’ll help you.” My attempt at speech came out as inarticulate growls. I tried to show her with my mind what I meant. I hunched over, planted my paws on the ground and mimed shifting. I rested my hand on her shoulder again. I joined my energy and will to hers, felt her strength and will returning. She rolled up to her feet and planted her paws. Her body shook with effort.

  She shuddered hard and her coat came in, gradually gaining its full length and stripes. She whipped her tail and bared her teeth.

  She wanted out, and who could blame her. I guided her to close her eyes and turn her face away.

  I grabbed the biggest rock I could manage with my paws and bashed the lock. It resisted. I made sparks with the second blow. Frustrated, I raised the rock over my head and bashed the lock so hard the haft split. I wrenched it off. I wished I could keep it as a missile to lob through the alien’s skull. Bear suit, no pockets. I batted it away. I yanked open the door and she bounded out of the cage to the free ground.

  She leaped onto the cage, tail swishing, and urinated on it. I shared her feelings.

  I wished we had time and place to be human together and do the nasty hard and deep. I wanted to celebrate our lives and love, feel her tightening and shuddering all around me.

  For now, it was enough to have her free. She motioned with her head and took the lead. We bounded away in time. Sounds of alarm rose from the compound behind us.

  She led the way through woods and over rocks to a burrow. We reached it in the depth of night, panting and sore. It was smaller than I liked and smelled of damp earth and rodents. I understood the wisdom of going to ground. Without a sound we gathered camouflage to cover the opening.

  Snug inside, hidden from harm, at last I held Lida in my arms. We didn’t need to discuss staying in our animal forms. We had to be able to defend ourselves or run at top speed. I petted her and she purred. After much twitching and jerking awake, she finally slept. I kept watch until near-dawn. She came awake and pressed my head down with her paw. I gave way to oblivion.

  I awakened to a big leaf full of berries near my snout. I didn’t chide her for going out. I devoured the offering. She led me through thick brush to a stream and we drank. I saw our reflections. We did make a strange couple. The silverback bear and the young tigress. I was too stunned by her beauty and my relief that she was alive and back with me to make many thoughts.

  The terrain became more familiar. Lida kept us in woods, a longer way home, but safer than moving through the open. We couldn’t risk being seen by shifters, either, out in the open together. It was a harsh realm. As darkness took the land I relied more on Lida’s guidance, grateful for her beautiful coloring. Her tawny fur between the dark stripes helped me keep her in sight. We traveled several tiger-lengths apart for security. If anyone sighted one of us, there was a better chance the other could evade capture to help. The moonlight helped us move fast, but could also aid our enemies.

  I recognized the forests of the home we’d made together and my heart surged. For all the strangeness of this place, this was where we got to be together.

  Lida raced to the temple and pulled four dead hares out of her stash. She ducked her head and gestured as though apologizing they weren’t fresh. She’d managed to stash her kill before the strangers captured her. I nuzzled her throat. My brave warrior.

  Raw meat didn’t appeal to me most of the time, but in bear form I was keen on it. My stomach growled and I reached for the food. She batted at me and urged me away. Of course we couldn’t eat there. The strangers might come at us.

  We raced to the cave, circling through the wood to cover our approach. No sign of disturbance. We made sure no one saw us enter.

  They hadn’t come near us. We were safe. I devoured my share of the meal, impressed that she thought to hide the food. But that suggested to me that food might be in scarce supply. Maybe that’s why the shifters lived so far apart. The place wasn’t as much of a paradise as it first appeared to be. With the invaders hunting terrain that once supported only shifters and the silent animals, competition might be keen for prey.

  I nodded my thanks to her and helped groom her neglected pelt.

  She looked much better after she ate, and she immediately set about licking and stroking the rest of her fur to right. She entranced me in both forms. To hell with anyone who said it was wrong for a shifter to love a shifter of another kind. I wasn’t an animal, I was a man and a werebear. I wasn’t ashamed of us. I had the right to love who I wanted.

  I wanted Lida. I wanted her right then. I planted my paws and pushed, so eager to return to my human form. It was difficult; fatigue set in once we were safe. My limbs felt heavy and my back ached. Yet soon I stood on my own two legs without fighting for balance. And I looked at my beloved with desire, with my erection testifying before me.

  She grinned and shifted into her lovely and almost defenseless human body. We were home.

  I was on her before we could talk, crushing her to me, my passion hotter than before, ignited by the prospect of losing her. Thinking she might be dead had been unbearable.

  I had to have her. I had to keep her. Forever.

  Finally, I made myself say it, before doing what every instinct told me to do, what her face and body and kisses on my chest told me she wanted as much as I did.

  “I love you, Lida. You’re my true mate, my destined mate, my beloved. Be my mate for life.”

  She surrendered to my arms, backed us to our bed of woolen capes, spread herself for me to mount.

  “Yes, Doctor. Yes, my love. I love you, Ian. I’ll be your mate for life.” I saw the difference in her tears. Happy tears.

  Rampant and eager, I entered her and took her face to face. I made myself slow down after the first powerful thrusts.

  I kissed her with all my passion. She tensed, then responded. I stirred in her delectable tightness, my senses alert to her pleasure. I was intent on her
excitement and making it feel good for her. I enjoyed her willing lips, her shy lovemaking in return. Her hand slid to my ass and squeezed.

  “So good, my sweet, sweet Lida.”

  I went easy on her, then harder, as she clawed at me and rocked up at me, pulling me deeper with her feet against my ass.

  “Please, Ian. Take me like the first time, you bad doctor, you bad bear. I need it hard.”

  I pounded her, making her shake under me. I felt her gush as she lost control on my cock. Her movements on me were so delicious, I spent my seed deep inside of her while she came.

  “Do you remember now, Garhan?”

  “Remember what? You’ve got me confused with some other guy, I’m Ian.” Another flare of jealousy. Was the buffalo Garhan?

  “You’re Garhan, a shifter of this world. This is your destiny. Coming back here.”

  “Back? I’ve never been here, except with you.” I held my weight up, feeling my tired arms shake, but I needed to see her face. Her earnest expression reminded me how much I’d come to trust her in our days here. I trusted her from the moment of our leap to this realm.

  “No, you were born here and so were your father and mother.” She petted my chest, her hand sliding over my human fur.

  I reeled. She’d just displaced my whole reality as I knew it.

  “You didn’t want to remember anything after losing your father in the Shifter Wars, but this is your place. It always has been. You made up Dr. Ian Montgomery.”

  Shifter Wars? My mother told me he was hit by a car. But what mother would tell her little boy about his father’s violent death? Especially a story about shifters, that if he ever repeated it, could put them both at risk of being taken captive for research, or worse. People in that other realm tortured animals.

  My head split. I didn’t want to listen. But what reason would she have to lie? I came back to it again. I trusted her. I didn’t believe she was playing me. And I didn’t want to imagine my life without this brave, bright beauty, this fiery tigress, at my side.