Alien Nation

by Gini Koch

  “Thank you. I think.”

  Would have said something, but we had action on the screen again. Muddy turned and nodded to Jeff. Who leaped up onto the ramp and strode up the walkway.

  “What is he doing?” Vance asked, for the room, presumably. I certainly wanted to know.

  Jeff joined Muddy and the Lead Themnir. There was a conversation. The Themnir bowed to Jeff. Jeff bowed back. More conversation. Then Jeff shook the Themnir’s hands in a sort of joint double handclasp. More conversation. Then Jeff did something no one saw coming.

  He put his arms around the Themnir and did the French version greeting, where you kiss each other on each cheek. And they both did the cheek-kissing thing.

  My first reaction was a form of revulsion and the desire to say that lips that had touched slug slime would never touch mine. Shoved that one away fast, because not only was there no way in the world I wasn’t going to kiss Jeff again, but it was a xenophobic reaction and I wasn’t proud of it and I didn’t want to keep it around.

  My second reaction, though, was pride. My husband had just greeted an alien that was, at first blush, repulsive to his entire world, and he’d greeted that alien as a beloved and honored friend.

  “I see why your Emperor chose your husband as King Regent,” Raheem said quietly. “He is an impressive man.”

  “Yes, he is, isn’t he?”

  Jeff turned, smiled, and waved to the camera. He didn’t look slimy, which was a relief on any number of levels. No, what he looked was, for want of a better term, Kennedy-esque. As if, finally, the President was someone you could once again not only respect and admire, but who was going to give you hope, hope that he’d lead you toward being the best you could be.

  “President Martini has greeted the Themnir as welcomed guests,” Oliver shared. “And our new lives as a planet joining the Greater Galactic Community begin.”

  Jeff had Muddy and the Themnir wave, too. Muddy waved normally. The Themnir waved with their arms and their antennae. Focused on the way Disney would draw them. In other words, I looked for the cute and cuddly. It was hard to find, but it was there.

  Muddy flew back to the ship and had a conversation with someone I realized with relief was Alexander. Alexander nodded and then did what Jeff had—leaped up onto the ramp and went to join Jeff and the others. Muddy stayed on the cutter but moved out of the camera’s view.

  More talk, more obvious greetings. Once again the bow, the handclasp, and, to Alexander’s great credit, the kissing on both cheeks. This time, the room seemed to handle it better. Did not look forward to when I had to do that for the first time. Knew it was coming and would be soon, too. Also knew, without asking, that Raheem was looking as forward to that as I was.

  “Emperor Alexander, representing all of the Alpha Centauri System, also greets the Themnir as welcomed friends,” Oliver shared. He walked to the ramp. Whether because he’d been told to stay on the boat or if he just wanted to delay the greeting by however many seconds, Oliver stayed on the cutter at the end of the ramp.

  Muddy was back on camera. He put his fingers to his mouth and gave an impressive wolf whistle. Other Turleens appeared in dirigible form. They flew over onto the Themnir’s ramp and lined it, Space Turtle next to Space Turtle all the way on both sides. Then Muddy moved out of camera range again. The Themnir sped up.

  “So, they fear the ocean,” Raheem said.

  “Makes sense. Even if salt isn’t a problem for them, who wants to fall in? They might be buoyant and able to swim, but right now isn’t the time to find out.”

  “I’m talking to the Major General of the Turleen Air Force, Dew Lakes,” Oliver shared. “Major General Lakes, why are the Themnir visiting Earth?”

  “The Themnir are, as you can see, non-aggressive people,” Dew replied. “They are fleeing our home system of Sirius for the same reason that we Turleens have come to request Earth’s aid and allegiance. A common enemy is approaching.”

  “Uh, Kitty?” Tim called from the back. “Was mass panic the plan?”

  “I’ve been with you guys, remember? I have no idea if this was rehearsed or if Dew is off-script.”

  “She is not,” Mossy said. “At least, she is not off our script. You all seem to think there is the luxury of time. There is not. Your planet needs to be ready as fast as possible.”

  “Well,” Raheem said with a little chuckle, “all of this should make all the meetings we’re going to be having go a bit more smoothly.”

  Looked at him. “How long before one of your counterparts starts accusing Israel of coordinating this?”

  “I give it less than five minutes, honestly. However, we do have some sway with that.” Raheem raised a hand and one of his guards came trotting down. “Please tell our religious guests that Queen Katherine and I will want to address them immediately after this televised event is over. Ensure that none of them leave the room, even if that room must be locked from the outside.”

  The guard nodded to Raheem and raced off. We were all quiet for a moment. “Wow, you’re going to lock them in?”

  “If necessary.” Raheem shrugged. “I will blame faulty door locks. We cannot have a lack of unity, just because these visitors are . . . unappealing to us, at least at first glance. If what the military man with us just said is correct, we have little time.” He nodded to Mossy.

  “I’m a Brigadier General,” Mossy said. “And yes, there is almost no time. Certainly none for needless, petty delays.”

  “You’ve been here a lot, and yet I still don’t think you ‘get’ humanity. We’re totally freaking into needless and petty. It’s one of our ‘things.’”

  Mossy shrugged. “And yet, your husband is not. And he leads the world.”

  “Not really and not yet.”

  “America is still the world leader,” Mossy said. “Act like it.”

  “Wow, I totally prefer hanging out with Muddy. He’s folksy.”

  Mossy shot me a snide look worthy of any Vance could do. “He is. He’s far more diplomatic. I’m far more focused on saving the galaxy.”

  “In other words, Mossy’s just like you,” Vance said. “It happens,” he said to Mossy. “You get two of the exact same personalities in the room and at first they fight. She’ll warm up to you, I’m sure.”

  Mossy shrugged. “I don’t care, in a personal sense. In a general sense, Earth is at the center of what will be the biggest battle this side of the galaxy has seen in at least a thousand years. I don’t care if the Queen Regent and I spend the entire time snarling at each other as long as, when it’s over, we’ve won and our planets and people are not destroyed.”

  “What Bossy Mossy said, and that’s me giving you a nickname, meaning I like you. Sort of. At any rate, we need to know what in the world Jeff’s plan is for what to do not only with the Themnir but their ship.”

  “I already know,” Reader said, having removed himself from the servants’ section and come forward. “Chuck just gave me an update. Per Muddy, the five who are on the gangplank are going to be escorted to the White House. The rest of the Themnir are staying on their ship. Until they know we’re going to be able to beat the Aicirtap back, they want to keep the majority of their population inside their escape mechanism.”

  “Can’t blame them. How many Themnir are here?”

  Reader took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Their entire population. Every last one of them.”

  CHAPTER 59

  “HOW? I mean that seriously. How can an entire planet full of beings be in one ship, even a ship that size?”

  Mossy took point on this one. “The Themnir’s home planet is truly more of a small, lush moon. It’s incredibly moist, with a lot of foliage and the small things that live in lush, abundant foliage. I would assume that the Roving Planet is packed to capacity, but the Themnir are able to go into a form of suspended animation.”

  “Sim
ilar to what you Turleens do?” Hey, wanted to show I’d been paying attention.

  “In a way. However, we are still able to fly ourselves around obstacles, avoid anomalies, avoid collisions with others of our kind or other ships or asteroids and the like. It’s something we can do innately, and it’s a focus for all of us, so the ability is improved over time. For the Themnir, their suspended animation is far deeper. They will be sleeping in layers.”

  “Layers of what?” Tim, who’d also abandoned the cheap seats, asked.

  “Layers of themselves.”

  Looked at the screen. The camera was focused on the Roving Planet again, as the ramp slowly closed. Did some higher math calculations in my head, only because Chuckie wasn’t around to do the heavy lifting at this moment. “It’s very possible, based on their size in comparison to the ramp. I can see that you could have tens of thousands in there. Packed like canned sardines, but if they don’t really notice, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

  Everyone stared at me.

  “What?” I asked finally. “You all staring at me had better not be in shock because I don’t sound like a moron.”

  “It’s not,” Reader said. “We’re not actually staring at you, girlfriend.” He nodded his head toward Raheem, who was on my right.

  Turned to see that one of Raheem’s guards, the one who hadn’t left to go lock up the religious types, was holding a semiautomatic pointed right at Raheem, who was still in his cushy seat and therefore had nowhere to go. The gun was shaking, though Raheem was not. He looked calm. Annoyed and disappointed, but calm.

  “Your Majesty,” the guard choked out, “you cannot allow this. You are listening to this . . . this Jewess about allowing those . . . things to come into our lands? You would imprison our ayatollahs and imams and allamahs so that they will acquiesce to worship a God other than our own? You are a traitor. To Allah, to your people, and to all who have served under you.”

  It was dark in here but my eyes had adjusted ages ago. Could see Len and Kyle out of the corner of my eye—their guns were out, but they didn’t have a clean shot. Vance was still sitting on my left, and Reader and Tim had stood near and in front of him. Vance wouldn’t have a gun and Reader and Tim couldn’t pull theirs without the gunman shooting.

  Mossy, however, was standing in front of and between me and the king. And my stuff was between me and Vance and, due to turning to see what was going on, I’d shifted so that I was facing the guard. And my mouth was opened slightly because I’d been planning a snarky comeback.

  Had no idea how well Turleens heard, but now was the time to find out. “I go low,” I said as softly as I could, not moving my lips, while I revved myself up. “You go high. Now.”

  Launched myself at the guard’s legs using a hyperspeed boost. At the same time, Mossy shifted into dirigible form and slammed into the guard’s arm. Turleens apparently had great hearing, one definitely for the win column.

  The gun went off, but the shot hit the ceiling. The guard was on his back, and I straddled his chest while Mossy turned back into turtle form and wrested the gun away. And then I did a ground and pound that would have made Tito very proud.

  “Listen, you religious jackhat, reality is here and it’s not going away!” Slammed my fists into his face with each word. “Who you worship doesn’t matter anymore because there is no more human against human action that’s going to be able to be allowed, you moron!”

  He managed to flip me off of him. Just barely, but still. Not a problem, though, because he staggered to his feet with his legs apart. I was on my feet a lot faster, hyperspeed again being the best thing in the galaxy.

  I sent a massive kick right to his very personal region and he buckled. “We have to join together or we’ll be destroyed. Sorry that intel is coming from a Jewess,” slammed a double fist into his face that slammed him into the wall, “but you’ll just have to live with it, you sexist, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, traitorous idiot.” Slammed a kick into his body for every word as said body slumped to the ground. “Or not.” Picked him up and rammed him against the nearby wall. Realized why Jeff liked this move—you got to hold onto your enemy and just bash the crap out of them without actually hurting yourself.

  Someone cleared their throat and I stopped, dropped the now extremely unconscious guard, and turned to see who was so clearing, while Len and Kyle ran down and slapped cuffs on the guard just in case.

  The throat clearer was Raheem. “I am beyond impressed. I would firstly like to thank both you and the Brigadier General for your timely protection of my person. And then I would like to hope that someone taped that performance, because all I will need to do to convince any who have doubts is to replay that and I’m certain that, after they finish wetting themselves, they will see reason.”

  “We didn’t and they won’t,” Reader said. “However, the First Lady is right. We don’t have the luxury of infighting anymore.” He looked back at the screen, where the cutter was moving away from the Roving Planet and Oliver was interviewing Jeff, Alexander, and the Themnir representatives.

  We all listened for a bit. No one was saying anything of actual interest to anyone in this room—it was all the usual political and diplomatic type of chat I’d been sick of since my first week in Washington. The Themnir representatives had either studied up on our ways, or bureaucracy and political-speak were galaxy-wide traits. Bet on the latter, honestly.

  “The Themnir sound sloshy,” I said finally. “And Mossy, before you start, cool your protective jets. They do. We need to accept that they’re different and how they’re different before we can accept them as different and then accept them for themselves. It’s how we work.”

  “It is,” White said, finally deigning to join the party. “And, frankly, if your guard’s reaction is any indication, Your Majesty, we should head to wherever the religious leaders are with much haste.”

  “Yeah, even with Paul, my Secret Service detail, and my Centaurion detail, I’d imagine the side of nonviolence is in the minority.” The Israeli Prime Minister might have Mossad agents with him, but the three I knew we could rely on were in this room with us.

  Raheem nodded. “I would suggest we have guards remain to ensure that my former employee does not wake up and try to cause more problems.”

  “We’ll do that,” Lorraine said, indicating herself and Claudia.

  “With pleasure,” Claudia said. Almost pitied the guard if he woke up. The girls sounded as pissed as I felt.

  Raheem looked a little concerned. “Trust me,” I said as I took his arm and sort of tugged him up and toward the door. “One of them is more than enough.”

  Len poked his head out of the door, then looked at us over his shoulder. “No one’s outside. I realize only one shot was fired, but the king was in this room. Where are the other guards?”

  “The room is fairly soundproofed,” Raheem said.

  “If Jeff was here I’d test that theory, but since he’s not, let’s assume that things are going down and be pleasantly surprised otherwise.” Ignored Tim and Reader’s coughs and White’s chuckles. “We need to go in protective formation, gang, with King Raheem in the center.”

  “Why?” Rahmi asked. “We can go far faster than they can see.”

  “I don’t think the king wants to toss his cookies.” Had a thought. “Hang on, though.” Went to my rolling purse and checked inside. Nothing appeared to have been moved but something sure had been added. There was a bottle of the Hyperspeed Dramamine that Tito had created. And a small bottle of water. And some zip ties and a gag. “Thank you,” I said under my breath.

  Gave a pill and the water to Raheem. “Take this. It will mean that we can take you with us using hyperspeed and it won’t make you sick.” He looked a little uncertain but did as requested.

  Gave the zip ties and gag to the girls. “Let’s just truss him up and leave him. I think we’re going to want you two wi
th us. Len, take back your handcuffs, in case we need them later.” Went back and grabbed my purse and rolling bag. No way I was leaving them anywhere.

  “Yeah.” Reader looked around the theater again. “Your Majesty, who runs this room? As in, why aren’t the lights on?”

  “Or, to put it another way,” I said as I made sure all the humans were with an A-C or one of the Amazons, “we need to assume that we’re going to exit into a fight of some kind.”

  CHAPTER 60

  “THE LIGHT CONTROLS are internal to the room,” Raheem said, as he indicated where we could turn them on. Reader did so. Yep, there was light.

  “What about the video feed?” Tim asked. “I didn’t see you using a remote control in here.”

  “No, but in this case, I requested that the feed be set up and that the operators leave their posts, so that all of you could speak without restriction.”

  “You rock, but I have to agree with the others on this one—a shot was fired and no one’s come running or even sauntering over to see if all’s well. Either they’re all watching on a different TV somewhere—which is always a possibility given the magnitude of what’s going on—or they’re taking the world’s religious leaders hostage. Or worse.”

  “Assume worse,” Reader said. “It’s always a safe bet.”

  Put Antoinette with the king. “You two are to keep your heads low and stay in the middle. Lorraine and Claudia will be with you. You do what I say when I say it, and if we’re separated, you do what Lorraine and Claudia say when they say it. Clear?” They both nodded.

  “I’ve contacted Manfred,” Tim said, looking at his phone. “Things are heated, but no one is attacking anyone else. Yet. He feels that’s only because the Secret Service and Centaurion agents are there, by the way.”

  “I’m in contact with head of the Centaurion detail I assigned to the Burj Khalifa,” Reader shared. “Things are tense, but we have enough Field agents there that everyone’s behaving themselves.”