Never

by Lulu Pratt

  “It’s a prenatal care vitamin,” Blake says. “I read in one of those books that they are meant to help with digestion and cramping. The book always said you should start right away, so I figured why not now?” He watches me with a smile as I take the pill from Christina.

  “Thanks, Christina. That’s really thoughtful of you. Blake, seriously, you can’t stop impressing me, can you?”

  “If I ever do, let me know, okay? That way, I can step it up a little.”

  I shake my head at his boyish smile. I then pick up my glass of water and use it to help swallow the pill. Blake is taking this pregnancy even more seriously than me, it seems. It’s time I start doing it too.

  Chapter 39

  CARRIE

  “How do you feel?” Blake asks. He looks at me, noting my shaking hands and sweaty brow.

  “I’m fine,” I lie. I am fidgeting nervously, while trying me best to not look nervous. It isn’t working.

  “It’s going to be okay. He is just going to run a few tests and talk you through what to expect. There’s really no need to be nervous.”

  “I’m not nervous,” I snap. “Sorry,” I apologize. “Maybe I am just a little nervous.”

  Blake and I are on the way to my first appointment. Like a dog being taken to the vet, Blake all but had to lure me into the car. And now that we are almost there, I feel my level of panic slowly increasing.

  It’s not that I’m scared of doctors. I just don’t like strange people prodding and poking at me. Plus, I read that they are going to need to take some of my blood, and I hate needles.

  “You really have nothing to worry about. We’ve both read the same books, and we both know what to expect. And as for the needle, it’s barely going to feel like a pin prick.”

  “I hate pin pricks,” I mutter under my breath, but just loud enough so that Blake can hear. He smiles, reaches across the car and rubs my shoulder.

  ***

  Doctor Johnson is just like every other doctor I have ever been to. He is overly friendly, to the point of it seeming fake. As I walk into his exam room, he smiles and makes a joke.

  “One of the first questions I get asked is, ‘when will my baby move?’ And I always say, ‘with any luck, right after it finishes college.’”

  I am too nervous to laugh. I can barely pay attention to what he’s saying. He doesn’t seem bothered by my reaction.

  He tells me that there is nothing to worry about, and that before I know it, I will be out of here and already looking forward to my next appointment.

  I don’t believe him.

  “So how long were you two trying for?” He asks.

  I’m sitting on the table, and he has just finished taking my blood pressure.

  “One week,” I say.

  “Really?” He asks, sounding shocked. “That’s pretty impressive. Some people work at it for months, years even. Very impressive.”

  “What does that mean?” Blake asks. He stands by my side and holds my hand. I’m squeezing it a little harder than is necessary, but Blake doesn’t say anything. “Is our baby going to be healthier than others? Is it going to be like a super baby?”

  I look at Blake to see if he is joking or not. Doctor Johnson throws back his head and laughs.

  “No, nothing like that,” he says. “It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe just that the two of you are compatible. But if I see the little guy or girl wearing a cape in there, I’ll let you know.”

  I like the way that sounds. Not the super baby thing, but the possibility that Blake and I are compatible. It’s as if even destiny is telling us that we are meant to be together.

  “Okay, so this is the final bit.” I don’t know when it happened, but Doctor Johnson suddenly has a giant needle in his hand. Maybe giant is an overstatement. It really isn’t that big, but to me, it may as well be a foot long.

  “Ow!” Blake says as I squeeze his hand even harder.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I say with scorn. “Did that hurt? How bad for you.”

  Doctor Johnson chuckles. “There is really nothing to worry about. You will barely feel it. I promise.” He walks toward me, needle in hand and I seize up.

  I turn my head over my shoulder, looking away as I feel the needle pierce my skin. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it was going to, but it still isn’t pleasant. Despite myself, I look down at my arm. As I do, I almost faint. The sight of blood being funneled from my arm makes my head spin.

  I clutch onto Blake for support.

  “Wow, are you all right?” He asks as he grabs me.

  “I’m fine,” I say with relief as I feel the needle leaving my arm. “Just got a little lightheaded. I don’t know why they need to take so much in the first place. Or any, for that matter.”

  “It’s so we can determine if everything is going to be fine with you and the baby,” Doctor Johnson confirms as he puts down my blood sample. “We don’t want any surprises.”

  “So that’s it?” I ask quickly, jumping down from the table. “We can go?”

  “Not so fast.” Doctor Johnson chuckles again. “I need to make sure that the two of you are fully up to speed. Have you done any reading on what to expect? Morning sickness, cramps, weird cravings for odd food combinations? That kind of thing?”

  “We are fully up to speed,” I say as my eyes fall on the door. I really want to get out. For some reason, I feel as if the doctor is stalling. As if he is enjoying my discomfort.

  “Good. Then there is just the matter of the due date, and you are free to go.”

  “Due date?” I ask. My ears perk up, and I turn to face the doctor, looking at him properly for the first time.

  “That’s right. February fourteenth. St. Valentine’s Day. An auspicious date. With the speed at which you conceived and the due date, I might just have to admit that I’ve never seen such a compatible couple. Congratulations!”

  I look across to Blake who is already looking down at me. We share a smile. For once, I couldn’t agree more with the doctor.

  Chapter 40

  BLAKE

  “So, what do you think?” I ask as I look up at my construction. “I’m not just a pretty face.”

  “I’m so impressed,” Carrie says. “If I wasn’t attracted to you before, now I certainly am.”

  We are in my backyard, and I have just finished setting up a moon-bounce. I rented it online for the day, and although the company offered to set it up, I declined. I was in the mood to bust out my handyman skills.

  “So, who is getting on first, you or me?” I ask playfully. I stalk her, and she takes a step back. She grabs her stomach and frowns at me.

  “I don’t know if it’s good for the baby. I better not.”

  “I guess I’ll save it for Tommy and Simon then. I haven’t checked with Ben, but I’m pretty sure that neither of them is pregnant.”

  I’m actually feeling a little excited. More than I am letting on to Carrie. The reason for my excitement is that Ben, Janet and their two sons are coming over for a barbecue later today. While they are here, I am going to tell them the big news.

  It’s been three months and we’ve been given the all-clear.

  I was once nervous to tell Ben, thinking that he would judge me. But now, I cannot wait. Ben and I used to be such good friends, and although we still are, a definite divide opened between us when he became a father. Now that I will have a child of my own, we can finally bridge that gap, once and for all.

  “When are they coming over?” Carrie asks, walking back to me, now that I have stopped threatening to throw her on the moon-bounce.

  “Any minute,” I reply. “The food is ready, the table and chairs are set up. All we need now are the guests.”

  I stop talking as I hear something in the distance. It sounds like screaming, and as I continue to listen, it gets closer and closer.

  “What’s that?” Carrie asks, hearing the same thing.

  I listen, my ears straining. Breaking into a smile, I suddenly realize what it is. T
he screaming is more akin to laughing, and I watch the side of my house, waiting for what I know is about to charge around the corner.

  It’s Simon, Ben’s son. He is screaming playfully as he charges across the backyard to me. The second he reaches me, I scoop up him and literally throw him across the gap between myself and the moon-bounce. He lands in it safely, laughing the whole time.

  “Hey there!” Ben calls out.

  He and Janet walk across the yard to Carrie and me. Tommy walks between them, holding his mother’s hand. Ben and Janet have been married for over ten years. I actually met her first and essentially introduced them, although Ben will never admit that. She has long red hair, big green eyes and a kind smile.

  “He came at me,” I say and I hold my hands up in defense. “I was worried for my safety.”

  “Oh, no,” Ben says as he reaches me. “Are you okay?”

  “I am,” I say, before leaning around Ben to face Tommy. He is only four, but is the spitting image of his father. “Hey, buddy. How’s my favorite guy?”

  “Good,” he beams up at me.

  “You want to join your brother on the moon-bounce?”

  Before he has a chance to answer, I scoop him off the ground, throw him over my shoulder, and carry him to the moon-bounce. There, I throw him inside so he can play with his brother.

  “I think they like you more than me,” Ben says, and he bites his lip as if in frustration.

  “Who wouldn’t?” I joke.

  The lunch is, of course, phenomenal. The chefs, again, have outdone themselves. Ben and Janet let the kids continue to play while we all eat and chat.

  As we eat, I talk about everything but the pregnancy. It is constantly on the very tip of my tongue, but the words just don’t follow. And it’s not that I am nervous. I just don’t know how I am going to break the news.

  I am sitting beside Carrie, and I love how easily she, Ben and Janet all get on. It’s as if they have been friends for years. I reach under the table and take her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. I instantly notice that her hand is clammy and cold. Sweaty even.

  “Are you okay?” I whisper, making sure that Ben and Janet are distracted by the kids.

  “I don’t feel good. I need to go to the bathroom.” Without another word, Carrie pushes her seat back, hops to her feet and scurries across the yard.

  “What was that?” Ben asks.

  “I don’t know. I’ll be right back.”

  I jump to my feet, hurry across the yard and inside. Once inside, I head straight for the bathroom door, which I see to be closed. “Carrie?” I say as I reach it. “Is everything all right?”

  The obvious sound of vomiting echoes through the door. “I’m fine,” she yells out back to me. “Just a little—” She stops again, having been cut off by another bout of vomiting.

  She assures me again that she is fine and that I should just get back to Ben and Janet. I do, but I walk away from the door with some trepidation. I hate knowing that she is sick and in need of help. I want to be in there with her, holding her hand. Sure, it is only a little sickness from the pregnancy, but I still think of that as a pretty big deal.

  I pull up my seat and fall into it. I don’t even look at Ben or Janet. I’m too lost in my own head.

  “So,” Ben begins. “How long has it been?”

  “What?” I ask, and I look at him for the first time.

  He wears a goofy, knowing smile. Which he shares with Janet.

  “How long has she been pregnant for?”

  “What do you mean? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I am so obviously lying, but I don’t know what to say.

  “Please,” Ben says with a smirk. “You don’t think I recognize that look on Carrie’s face? She’s in there right now, blowing chunks.” Janet smacks Ben on the arm. “Ow. You know what I mean, though. She is pregnant. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  I look from Ben to Janet and back to Ben. They both have insufferable, all-knowing smiles, and I know that there is no point lying to them. More than that, there is no reason to. I want to tell them the truth and have wanted to for a while. This may as well be the way that they find out.

  “Yep, she’s pregnant,” I admit. “With our baby.”

  A tremendous weight falls from my shoulders as I tell them. The two clap and cheer, and Ben hold up his glass as a toast. I raise my glass too, smiling as I do, and I wonder why I was ever so worried in the first place. Both Janet and Ben are so happy for me, and I am happier than I ever thought I would be in my life.

  Chapter 41

  CARRIE

  Sitting across the table from Amy, I can’t help but think about how different this meal is from the one that Blake and I had with Ben and Janet.

  That was a much quieter affair, even with the children. There were a few drinks that I avoided. There was light banter and an all-around enjoyable time. But Amy is a whirlwind. She stormed into the house, screaming at the top of her lungs about how much she had missed me, even though I went for lunch with her only the week before.

  She demanded I give her a tour of the house and then was adamant that the two of us get smashed. I was able to oblige the first, but I had to work to dodge the second. I’d managed to avoid the subject of not drinking in front of her so far, but I was telling her tonight that I was pregnant.

  Our dinner is far louder than either Blake or I had anticipated, either. She chose the music, and it is blaring. She also bought vodka for us to drink, which Blake is drinking for the two of us, and she is even hinting that we go out after.

  Although Blake is obviously a little put out by Amy’s behavior, I can’t help but laugh. This isn’t really what Amy is like, not usually, anyway. She is just excited to see me and wants to get the most of me in while she can. She is only here for the weekend.

  “So,” she says, and she looks back between Blake and me. “You two are going to show me a good night, right? Take me to a Beverly Hills club, maybe? Maybe then I can meet a rich so and so, and get myself set up?”

  I still haven’t told her yet. I keep meaning to, but every time I am about to say it, she barrels forth with a comment about being single, or how she misses me, or how she can’t wait until I am back. I thought Blake was being silly for not telling Ben and Janet sooner. Now I see how hard it is.

  But Blake is my rock. He sees that I am struggling and reaches across the table and takes my hand.

  “So, Amy,” he says, turning to address her. “Carrie has something she wants to tell you.”

  “Oh,” Amy says. “Does it involve a reason why your glass is still full? Chug that drink, and then tell me.”

  “Actually,” I begin. I take a deep breath and prepare myself. It is time. “I can’t drink that, Amy. And I haven’t drunk anything all night. Blake has been drinking my half.”

  “What?”

  “I’m pregnant.” I say it quickly, and I hold Amy’s stare as I do. I want her to know that I am being serious for once, and that this isn’t a joke.

  She looks back from me to Blake. Blake is holding my hand, and he lifts it to his mouth and kisses it. I put my hand on his lap and give it a rub.

  “You’re pregnant?” She asks.

  “That’s right,” I say, with more resolution. “Definitely pregnant. With Blake’s baby, obviously. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

  “Oh my God!” Amy screams. She leaps from her chair, runs around the table and pulls me into a massive hug. “I can’t believe it. This is amazing. This is wonderful news!”

  She has let go of me just long enough to get the words out. But now that she has, she pulls me into another bone-crunching hug.

  “You’re not mad?” I ask.

  “Mad? How could I be mad? My best friend is having a baby. Which means I’m going to be an aunt. Which means I’m going to cry.”

  And sure enough, tears begin to pour down her cheek. She bats at her eyes, trying to fan them off.

  “I’ll let you two talk.” Blake stands and heads to th
e bathroom.

  “Seriously,” Amy says as she calms down. She walks back to her seat, falling into it and letting out a long sigh. “I am so happy for you. My heart hurts.”

  “I’m so happy that you are. I was worried that you might not approve.”

  I look back to the bathroom door as I do. I don’t want Blake to overhear. Amy is aware of who Blake is, and if anyone is going to have it in for him, it’s going to be her.

  “Well, to be honest, if you had told me this before tonight, I probably wouldn’t be so behind it.”

  “Yeah?” I ask.

  I’m not that surprised. She and Blake have gotten on really well tonight, better than I could have ever hoped. It’s as if he knew he would have to win her over.

  “Well, yeah, after what he did.” I look over my shoulder at the still-closed bathroom door. “But he seems like a great guy. He’s handsome, he’s funny and he is obviously a good provider. Like what’s the deal? Are you two getting married or what?”

  “Whoa,” I say quickly. “Hold on there. We haven’t discussed that yet.”

  “Well, excuse me for thinking that two people having a baby together might be getting married,” she scoffs. “Either way, you mark my words. I know things, and I know people. I’m a hairdresser after all. And you two are going to be together for a while. Longer than that even.”

  “You think so?” I ask, unable to suppress my smile.

  “I know so. Forever and ever. You heard it here first. Now if you don’t mind.” She leans across the table and picks up the very full vodka-mixed drink that sits in front of me. “Seeing as you can’t have this.”

  She takes a big gulp and then another.

  I pay her hardly any attention. I look from the still-closed bathroom door to Blake’s empty seat, and I smile a big, goofy and unbridled smile. I don’t want to jinx it, and I have tried not to think of it, but as if Amy’s words have let the cat out of the bag, now I can’t think of anything but. I love Blake. Plain and simple, and I can truly see us spending the rest of our lives together. So much so that I don’t even bother to tell Amy about the pregnancy contract.