Testimony of the Blessed

by K. G. Reuss

  “You! You’re my problem!” she shouted, her eyes flashing madly. “Do you remember last month when you were making out with me in my room?” She breathed out hard, her face red. I blanched at her words. Was she serious?

  Lance paled. I guess I knew the answer to that.

  “I just think Maggie should know.” She looked to me. “Me and Lance were together right before he asked you out. If he isn’t going to tell you about it, then I will.”

  “Jesus.” Zach shook his head incredulously.

  “It’s not like that!” Lance hissed through clenched teeth. “Maggie, I didn’t sleep with her. We made out. That’s it. And it didn’t even last long enough to count.”

  “Tell her what you told me,” Jess demanded.

  “I-I don’t need to know—” I started feeling faint, and my hands shook.

  “He said he wanted to be with me. He said he’s liked me for a long time. And then all of a sudden, you two are together.” She sneered, her hands on her hips. “I think you should watch him, Maggie. He’s not trustworthy. It won’t be long before he’s feeling Heidi up. You already know she wants him. And you know his history. Trust me on that.”

  “Jess, knock it off,” Lance snarled at her. I pulled away from him, breaking his hold on me. I’d already had a crappy day. I didn’t need them adding to it. “Maggie. Stop,” his voice was desperate as he reached out to me.

  “Just…I’ll see you at Andrew’s,” I stammered, wanting to get out of there.

  “Maggie, please.” Lance took a step toward me.

  “It’s fine. Really. I just need to, um, go change.” I backed away, holding my hands up to ward him off.

  “I’ll give you a ride,” Zach piped up, looking uneasily between us all.

  “Maggie, no…” Lance called out painfully.

  I shook my head at him and followed Zach, leaving Lance and Jess alone. Maybe they could work out whatever issues they were having with one another.

  All I knew was that I didn’t want to be a part of it.

  Chapter 19

  “You OK?” Zach asked as we drove to my house.

  “Yeah,” I answered, looking out the window at the passing scenery.

  “Don’t bullshit me, Westbrook,” he sighed. I looked at him in surprise. “Yeah, that’s right. I can smell your bullshit a million miles away. Talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

  “I’m upset,” I answered, not wanting to hold it in any longer.

  “And for a good reason.” He nodded. “What else? There’s more.”

  “I hate my life,” I whispered painfully, my chest heavy as memories with Alan flashed in my mind.

  His hands on me. His groans of approval. The way he licked his lips.

  “Your life is shit. I get that.” Zach glanced at me. “Talk to me about it. Consider me impartial. I won’t say anything to anyone. You need to talk to someone. You never let your problems out. Hit me with them.”

  “Things are just terrible,” I murmured.

  “Tell me,” Zach said, his eyes on the road. “I know it’s more than him being strict.”

  “It’s nothing. He’s just not very nice sometimes. And we pay the price for the things that upset them.”

  “Why don’t you tell someone?”

  “I’m telling you,” I whispered.

  Zach grew quiet. “Does Lance know how… sad you are?”

  “No. Well, I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to burden him.”

  “He cares about you, Maggie. I think he’d want to be burdened.”

  I looked back out the window, my stomach in agonizing knots at what I’d learned about Jess and Lance. Add to it my stress about taking our relationship further and my fear of my homelife, and it felt like I was suffocating. In fact, I sort of wished I would.

  “You have my number if you ever need me. I’ll be there. I swear,” Zach said firmly. I turned back to him and gave him a small smile. “Got it?”

  “Thank you,” I answered softly.

  “I mean it, Maggie. The chance that anything close to what I’m thinking is happening to you really pisses me off.” His mouth was set in a hard line as he drove.

  “It’s not that bad,” I lied, wishing I wouldn’t have said anything to him about it. “He just gets upset sometimes because of my mom and work. I’m just an easy target.”

  “Then don’t be.” Zach looked over at me. “Don’t be a target. Stand up for yourself. You deserve more than some psychotic creep messing with you when he’s pissed.”

  “I will,” I said, wincing. The idea of standing up for myself terrified me.

  “And forget about this shit with Lance and Jess. Lance has screwed a lot of chicks. Jess gets around too. It’s only natural for their paths to cross. Lance wants you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have asked you out. He’d have stayed single and continued doing what he was doing.”

  “I know,” I replied. “It’s just weird.”

  “It is. But seriously, he’s into you more than any of them.” He grew quiet for a moment. “What do you think about Brax?”

  “Brax?” I asked, confused about the sudden change in conversation.

  “Yeah.”

  “Um, honestly?” I fidgeted nervously with my skirt.

  “You know I don’t want a lie.” Zach chuckled, glancing at me.

  “I like him,” I admitted softly, the words making my heart beat faster in my chest. I’d never said them out loud before. “I think he’s nice.”

  “Yeah?” Zach asked, seemingly genuinely happy. “Want to know a secret?”

  “Yes.” I looked at him.

  “I think he likes you a little bit as well.” He smiled knowingly. “And I think he thinks you’re nice too.”

  “Really?” My heartrate picked up. “How do you know?”

  “He sorta told me. Or at least doesn’t deny it.” Zach shrugged. “So, be cool to the guy. It’s hard for him to see you with Lance since they seem to hate one another.”

  I swallowed hard, feeling giddy inside.

  He liked me? ME?! He sure hadn’t acted like it earlier.

  I had to apologize to him. I made my mind up, any doubts I had before now gone. He was probably feeling the same way I felt when I’d see him with Jess. It wasn’t fair.

  “You going to talk to him?” Zach asked, pulling into my driveway.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “Should I?”

  “Just play it cool. You’re with Lance anyway. But if that doesn’t work out, and I’m not saying it won’t, Brax is there.”

  “I just don’t think I’m his type—”

  “Maggie, trust me. You’re everyone’s type. Even mine.” He grinned lopsided at me, making me genuinely smile. Zach was always good for a laugh.

  “I’ll be back in a minute,” I answered, shaking my head and moving to get out of the car. Zach nodded thoughtfully. I didn’t want to entertain the idea of me and Lance not working out. I felt a great deal for him. He’d been there for me for a long time. My rock. The whole Brax thing was just a silly crush.

  I rushed into the house and straight to my room. Quickly, I changed into one of my dresses and cardigans, making sure my ponytail was perfect. I dabbed on some lip gloss and stared at myself in the mirror. I pushed the wicked memories out of my mind and focused on the present.

  “Let’s go,” I said minutes later, climbing back into Zach’s car.

  “No issues?” he asked, his eyes sweeping over me quickly.

  “He’s not home. He had a business meeting out of town tonight,” I replied. Zach pulled out of the driveway.

  My phone buzzed in my lap as Zach switched through the radio stations.

  A message from Lance. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Jess.

  I wasn’t sure how to reply, so I didn’t, sitting there thinking about what I would say to him.

  After a few minutes, Zach’s phone rang. He glanced down at it before casting me a quick look.

  “Hello? Hey… Ye
ah, she’s with me.” He glanced at me again. “It’s cool. We’ll be there in a few… Yeah… Bye.”

  “Lance?” I guessed.

  “Yep,” Zach replied. “I think he’s worried.”

  “There’s nothing to be worried about.” I shrugged. “It was before me, right? So it doesn’t matter.”

  “True,” Zach replied. “I’m glad you’re being openminded.” We pulled up to Andrew’s house a few minutes later.

  “Hey.” Zach grabbed my hand and stopped me from getting out. “Have fun tonight. Not for anyone else but for you. And go talk to Brax.”

  “I will.” I smiled at him. He released me. As I went to get out, I was surprised when my door was pulled open, and Lance tugged me out and into his arms.

  “I’m sorry, Maggie,” he breathed out, my body crushed against his. “I should’ve told you.”

  “You don’t need to apologize,” I replied, my voice muffled because he was holding me firmly to his chest. “We weren’t even together then.”

  “I don’t care. I should’ve said something to you. I let you down. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He hugged me tighter. “I don’t want to hurt you. Ever.”

  “I know.” I breathed him in, feeling comforted. He pulled away from me and thumbed my bottom lip.

  “I was worried,” he admitted.

  “No worries.” I went up on my tip toes and kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, his hand on my waist.

  “I want to kiss you for real,” he murmured, opening his eyes as I pulled away.

  “We will.” I swallowed hard. I was nervous. I’d never done that with anyone. It was one of the only things I’d managed to guard against in my time with Alan. It was precious to me.

  “OK.” He smiled. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I let him steer me into Andrews. He got himself a drink, laughed, and talked to a lot of people.

  We’d been there for well over an hour, and I was watching him play beer pong when a loud whoop came from the kitchen. I glanced over to see Brax waltz in cradling a load of alcohol. People were slapping him on the back and thanking him. He only grinned at them.

  I watched as he pulled out a bottle of beer and sucked it down quickly. He was so beautiful. Like a fallen angel.

  Shaking my head, I pulled my attention away from him. I shouldn’t have those thoughts about him. I was with Lance.

  But I did need to talk to him. As if sensing my need for him, I turned to find his eyes locked on me. I leveled my gaze on him, watching as he smoked his cigarette. The cloud billowed around him, making him appear more frightening than I knew he was. I had no idea he smoked. He poured himself a drink, his eyes never deviating from me.

  Jess approached him, and his focused turned to her as she began talking. Knowing it was now or never, I slipped away to go to him. I watched him through the crowd as he craned his neck, a frown on his face as he searched for me. My heart skipped in my chest as he began to look panicked. Frustrated. Fearful. His eyes, they said so much. He seemed desperate as his blue eyes surfed the room. I made my way over to him as Jess continued to talk to him.

  He turned abruptly and pulled her close to him, their lips only inches apart. I stopped right behind him, feeling awkward, especially if he was going to kiss her. Maybe I’d interpreted it wrong.

  “Go dance with one of your other friends,” he hissed at her. She stumbled back as he pushed her way. When he turned, we were face to face.

  Chapter 20

  “Maggie,” he swallowed hard and stared at me.

  “Hey,” I replied nervously, suddenly very unprepared for the moment. My hands twisted nervously in front of me. A tiny smile formed on his lips as he stared back at me. “Can we talk for a minute?”

  “Yeah, sure. I’m surprised you’re here,” he replied, pouring a drink and handing it to me.

  “Um, no thank you,” I said softly, not knowing how alcohol would affect me. God knew, I didn’t want to become my mother.

  “Maggie, you’re at a party.” He rolled his eyes. “You can loosen up, you know.” He pushed the drink at me.

  “I-I shouldn’t.” I tried to push the drink away.

  “Why not? No one here is going to get pissed over you drinking. Besides, this is my alcohol, and I’m offering it to you. If you turn it down, you’ll hurt my feelings.” He gave me sad blues eyes for a moment.

  I let the smile break through as I gazed at him. He was very convincing. I didn’t know if it was his soft voice or pretty eyes, but I’d have done anything he wanted. Well, almost anything.

  “My stepdad will get upset with me if I drink,” I said.

  “To hell with your stepdad,” Brax snorted, pushing the drink back at me. “You’re killing me, Mags. Drink, please. You missed the last party, and I wasn’t able to help loosen you up. Remember my promise?”

  His stare was unnerving. It was like he was looking straight into my soul. I took the drink from him causing a smile to form on his lips. I bit my bottom lip nervously.

  “Why’d you call me ‘Mags’?” I asked, staring back at him.

  “I think the name suits you.” He shrugged easily and drank down his drink. “Why? Does it bother you?”

  “No,” I said softly, staring down at my cup.

  “Good. Drink.” He pushed the drink at me. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed a large mouthful. I coughed and sputtered. It was terrible! Why would anyone drink that?

  “Alcohol virgin,” he chuckled with delight, his eyes lighting up. My face heated with a flush. How embarrassing. I ducked my head, wanting to hide my shame. Then, I caught sight of Lance with Heidi at his side and frowned. She was touching his arm and giggling. He seemed captivated by her, making my heart plummet. Or maybe I was just being an insecure, paranoid freak.

  “You should probably have another one,” Brax’s soft voice broke through my troubled thoughts. I looked at him quickly and nodded. I’d drink a million if it made the apprehension and dread I was feeling go away.

  I drank everything Brax pushed at me, losing count after five. I had to apologize to him. That was the whole reason in coming over to him.

  “I wanted to apologize for being so rude to you today in biology,” I said softly, wincing. I sounded like a total loser. Brax inclined his head closer as I rushed on, “I was just feeling overwhelmed. I know you didn’t mean anything by what you said. You’re concerned for me, and I understand that.”

  There. I did it.

  “I am?” He looked confused.

  “Yeah.” I laughed, feeling like a total wreck. “At least, that’s what I told myself. Friends look out for one another.”

  “We’re friends?” He looked at me in surprise.

  “I’d like to think so.” I nodded, hoping he’d say we were and end my torment.

  “I accept your apology, but anything you said to me, I’m sure I deserved. I suppose I should, uh, also apologize. I tend to be a bit blunter than I should be sometimes.” He seemed uncomfortable.

  “So, we’re good?” I asked hopefully.

  “We’re good.” He smiled at me. I smiled back, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. I took the next drink he offered me and drank it slower. I felt like I was beginning to spin. It wasn’t a bad feeling. In fact, I almost felt free. I knew I was swaying. There was no way I couldn’t be.

  “My stepfather isn’t a nice man,” I blurted out.

  Why the hell did I say that?

  Cat was out of the bag now.

  “He’s cruel, and I’m afraid of him.”

  Brax was silent as he stared at me. I was just about to make an excuse and leave when he spoke.

  “I know he’s not.”

  “How do you know?” I asked, surprised.

  “I can just tell.”

  “He thinks I’m doing a study group when I’m cheering,” I admitted. “I told him I joined an honors club and that we study after school.”

  “And tonight? Where does he think you are?”

  �
�He thinks I’m at Jess’s house studying. I told him she’s in the club too.”

  “And he believed that?” Brax snorted.

  “Yeah,” I replied, realizing how ridiculous it sounded. The next words out of my mouth left me wanting to kick myself. “Do you like Jess?”

  “She’s easy,” he answered.

  “Are you two, um…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. It was none of my business.

  “Are we what? Fucking?” He was blunt.

  “Yeah,” I replied softly, playing with the hem of my skirt nervously.

  “Why do you care? You’re fucking Lance.”

  “I-I am not!” I said, sputtering on the words.

  “Oh yeah? Then what’s going on with you two?” he countered.

  “I-I don’t know. We’re just-just trying. We’re just hanging out,” I lied. Again, I wanted to kick myself.

  “Trying what?”

  “I don’t know. To see if being more than friends is a good idea,” I answered feeling frazzled.

  “How’s that working for you?” He raised a dark eyebrow at me.

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “He’s really nice, and he cares about me, but you saw him tonight. He was more interested in Heidi and beer pong than he was in me.” It was true. Aside from steering me around the room, he hadn’t paid much attention to me. It was like I was an accessory to him. He was throwing me mixed signals. But I knew he cared. He had to care. He was a hell of an actor if he didn’t.

  “Do you still think it’s a good idea?” Brax asked.

  “I don’t know what’s a good idea anymore,” I mumbled, feeling lost. “And to be honest, I’m not sure if I care that much.”

  “Oh my God! You guys!” Jess stumbled into us drunkenly before wrapping her arms around Brax’s neck. “Chelsea found a Ouija board in the closet over there!” She pointed vaguely to the living room. “We are going to the basement to mess with it. Come on!”

  “Um, I don’t think so,” I immediately replied. That was Devil stuff. I didn’t sway that way. Sundays and Wednesdays were reserved for church. If anyone at church, or my parents, heard I was fiddling with the board, I’d really pay for it.

  “Why?” Brax’s smooth voice cut into my thoughts. The way he looked at me left me breathless. “Afraid the Devil might get you? I thought you might be turning over a new leaf and not caring too much.”