One Wrong Move

by Meredith St. James

  "Back off," I warned her, my voice cracking in the process.

  I jerked the plate from the counter and stomped around the island to Stella's highchair. I set the pancake down gently, being careful not to startle her. I picked up the syrup from the table—Gabby had purchased an actual syrup dispenser sometime since the move—and smothered the pancake for her. I thanked my lucky stars that Gabby always bought the sugar-free kind because it meant Stella wouldn't be bouncing off the walls afterward. She was a pretty calm kid usually, but she wasn't immune to the effects of copious amounts of sugar.

  "So, what do the two of you have planned for today?" Gabby smiled brightly but the tightness of her lips revealed how fake it actually was.

  "I was thinking about taking Stella to try out that park near campus," I answered casually as I smothered my own plate of pancakes in syrup and pulled up a chair at the table near Stella. I considered inviting Gabby to join us, but I couldn't bring myself to willingly shackle myself to her for the day.

  "That sounds great," she said in a soft voice.

  She finished with the stove, turning it off and clearing away her mess. The whole time, Stella and I ate in silence. Both of us were watching her. I couldn't help comparing her to Laurel, the girlfriend I'd seen Travis with the day before. The two of them really were cut from the same cloth. I might have thought they were sisters if I saw them in the same room.

  Stella was probably just staring at her because she wanted another pancake.

  "I better get to work," Gabby announced. It didn't escape my notice that she hadn't eaten any of her own pancakes before she fled the room. Guilt ate at me, but I did my best to ignore it. It seemed like that was becoming a habit of mine.

  Travis

  My feet thudded against the pavement in time to the hip-hop blasting from my headphones into my ears. I'd gone out of my way to pick the least mopey playlist I owned. I had been hoping that a morning run would help clear my head—and my embarrassment over the presumptuous gift I'd left Ronnie the night before.

  My expectations had been all fucked up. I had really and truly expected her to track me down the second she saw the book. As if she'd forget our whole history and jump at the weird suggestion I'd made that I might be willing to be her kid's stepdad. What the hell had I been thinking?

  I hadn't been. That was the problem.

  "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid," I muttered under my breath as I rounded Kelley's education building.

  Summer classes were officially in full swing, which meant campus had gotten some life to it again. Unfortunately, between that and the football stadium being off limits, I didn't have a lot of places to go for a lot of peace and quiet. That's why I'd decided to head to the outskirts of campus where a mostly unused park was tucked away. There were trails through the woods back there where I knew no one would bother me.

  My pace was leisurely as I loped past the first part of the park where the playground was. Something caught my attention from the corner of my eye, and I turned. My chest spasmed erratically as I stared at Ronnie standing at the foot of a slide. Her whole demeanor was open and warm—a far cry from how she'd seemed the day before.

  Without thinking it through, my feet started to carry me in her direction.

  She hadn't noticed me, which gave me a chance to study her shamelessly. I'd started to wonder if I'd just imagined how good she'd looked in the bar. After all, it wasn't like the lighting in that place was all that great. I hadn't imagined it, though. She looked just as good, if not better, under the harsh sunlight of summer. I assumed her kid was with her, but even squinting I couldn't see past the colorful plastic of the playground equipment.

  "Hey," I called out when I got close.

  My intent had been to alert her to my presence so I wouldn't startle her, but that backfired spectacularly. She jumped more than a foot off the ground at the sound of my voice. As she landed back down, her momentum sent her careening forward—directly onto the slide. I watched in horror as she somersaulted over the edge of the thing.

  "Shit!" I sprinted to where she laid sprawled out on the mulch.

  Ronnie let out a pain-filled groan and wiggled each of her body parts as if making sure nothing was broken. Then, her eyes flickered open, finding me standing over her. She surprised me by promptly bursting out into a fit of laughter.

  "Are you okay?" I asked, my voice subdued. I was starting to wonder if I should be concerned about a head injury from the maniacal quality of her laugh.

  She swiped the tears of amusement out from under her eyes and forced herself up into a sitting position. "You scared the ever living daylights out of me." She raised her hand in the air and I took it, helping her back to her feet.

  The second she was steady she jerked her hand out of mine. I didn't even get a chance to savor the contact.

  "I didn't expect to run into you here," I commented. Immediately, I realized how stupid the words were. Ronnie had a kid. It made perfect sense for her to be at a playground. Intrigued, I swung my gaze towards the mouth of the slide.

  Wide eyes were studying me with a curiosity that seemed awfully mature for such a small creature. Though, not nearly as small as I'd been expecting. My forehead wrinkled as I took a long, measured look at the girl. I would have never guessed she was Ronnie's kid. The girl looked nothing like her. In fact, the more I looked the more I realized she looked like…

  I said Ronnie's name aloud.

  "Yeah?" she croaked.

  "Is that my daughter?"

  Silence greeted me.

  After several moments of it, I tore my eyes away from the kid and looked beside me at Ronnie. She looked panic-stricken, but also a little confused. Her mouth fell open but no words came out.

  "What the hell, Ronnie?"

  That seemed to snap her out of it. "Stop cursing," she chastised. She stepped protectively in between the little girl and me.

  I'd expected her to deny it. Or to make up some excuse for not telling me. Anything would have been better than the way she stood there wide-eyed with her teeth sinking into her bottom lip in a way that was far more distracting than it should have been after the sort of revelation I'd just had.

  "Is that my daughter?" I asked again because I really needed the confirmation of her saying the words aloud.

  "Yeah." She sounded exasperated as if she wanted to add a "duh" to the end of her answer.

  "Why are you acting like I shouldn't be surprised as hell right now?"

  "Language," she reminded me forcefully. "I don't know what it is you're so surprised about. That she looks so much like you?"

  My fists clenched by my side. What the hell was she talking about? I'd had no idea I had a child, so yeah, I was a little surprised to stumble across a kid that looked like the spitting image of me at that age. I shook my head at Ronnie, too angry to form words.

  Something finally seemed to click for her. "Wait, you mean you didn't know?"

  "Obviously not," I barked out.

  "But you left me that book." She frowned.

  The book. That fucking book. "I was just being nice. Hazel mentioned you had a kid and I thought it would be a nice gesture. Like, a reminder that you haven't always hated me so much."

  "I—" She paused and cleared her throat. "I thought you were giving it to me because we always said…"

  "That we'd read it to our own kids together someday," I finished for her. I was starting to see the miscommunication. "Fuck."

  "Seriously, language," she reminded me yet again.

  Ronnie's eyes darted behind her to check on her—our—daughter. The little girl was still silently waiting at the top of the slide. Her patience was admirable. She definitely hadn't inherited that from either of us.

  My whole body started to vibrate with anger. "Did you not stop at some point and think maybe having a kid was something I deserved to know about?"

  "You didn't deserve anything from me."

  "That's bullshit!"

  "If you don't stop cursing, I swear I'll—"
<
br />   "What?" I taunted, "Disappear with my daughter for another three years?"

  It was at that moment that the kid apparently decided she was tired of sitting there while the grown-ups argued. Almost as if it was happening in slow motion, the little girl's hands clutched at the sides of the slide. She managed to propel herself forward, launching herself at what suddenly seemed like breakneck speed. I reacted before Ronnie did, leaping towards the foot of the slide just in time to catch the kid before she went careening off the end of it.

  At first, the little girl just stared up from the cradle of my arms with wide eyes. Then, the tiniest giggle escaped her lips. Ronnie and I simultaneously let out the breaths we'd been holding in a whoosh of air.

  "You can't slide before Mommy is ready, Stella." Ronnie reached for the girl, and despite how badly I wanted to yank away so that I could keep her in my own arms, I let Ronnie take her.

  "Stella," I repeated the name softly.

  The realization that I had a daughter started to really sink in. I was beyond furious that Ronnie had kept her from me, but as my thoughts started to sort themselves out I realized that I couldn't fixate on that at the moment. If I fought with Ronnie it would just put her guard up, and that was the last thing I needed. I had a daughter, and I'd be damned if I was going to do anything to jeopardize my chance to get to know her.

  "I gave her your last name," Ronnie mentioned without looking up.

  Hope bloomed in my chest. If she had my last name then I was pretty sure that meant Ronnie had put me on the birth certificate. And if Ronnie had put me on the birth certificate, it meant she hadn't shut me out completely. There was still a chance that I could make things right.

  I watched the two of them together. One of my favorite memories of Veronica had always been the day we'd met. It had been summer and I'd gone with a few guy friends down to the docks. She'd already been there, her clothes strewn over our favorite dock as she swam in the lake in her underwear. She hadn't been wearing any makeup and her hair had been wild and wet around her shoulders. I'd forced the guys to leave while I helped her out of the water. It was probably the only time we'd been together where I'd encouraged her to put on her clothes.

  Teenage-Ronnie had looked so natural half-dressed on the dock with the water glistening behind her. That was nothing, though, compared to how natural Adult-Ronnie looked standing there with our daughter wrapped snugly in her arms.

  "I have a lot of questions," I admitted, breaking the silence in the process.

  "Me too." She laughed bitterly. "But I think I'll save mine for another day."

  A bad feeling swept over me. No doubt I wouldn't enjoy whatever questions Ronnie might have for me. We'd have to figure out how to face the past, though. Whatever bad blood had developed between us, it was nothing compared to this other thing between us—a daughter.

  Veronica

  "Are you sure you don't want me to come?"

  I turned away from the mirror so that I could properly glare at my brother. "I'm just as sure now as I was the first ten times you asked."

  "Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be alone with him?"

  "Vinnie, it's fine. Now, please stop all that pacing before you wear a hole in my floor."

  He sighed and flopped down on the corner of my bed. "I'm just worried about you. I can't stop thinking about what happened the last time you were alone with him."

  I blew out a breath and turned back to the mirror to finish my mascara. "It's fine. I'm driving myself, so I won't be in a car with him. Besides, technically the last time we were alone together was at the park, and that went fine."

  Or at least it had gone better than I'd deserved, considering he'd just discovered I'd been keeping his own daughter a secret from him. In fact, he'd seemed eerily calm about the whole thing. It made me worry an outburst was inevitably on the horizon. I knew it was for the best that I didn't mention that part to my protective brother.

  "You look like you're getting ready for a date." The accusation in Vinnie's voice was clear.

  I closed the mascara and slammed it down on the vanity top. "Can you just back off? I'm nervous enough about this as it is. You're just making it worse."

  "Sorry," he grumbled.

  After our uncomfortable run-in at the park, Travis and I had agreed to meet for dinner to sort through the big mess we were suddenly faced with. It took everything in me not to make a deposit to the porcelain gods every time I pictured splitting time with my daughter. I'd never had to share her with anyone, not really anyway. Vinnie and Gabby both helped a lot, but not in a way that made me feel threatened as a mother. Now I had a serious fear developing that Travis might want more than I was willing to give up.

  "Are you—"

  "Vinnie, don't you dare ask me again if I want you to come. If you do, there's a good chance I might be going to jail for your murder tonight."

  He huffed. "I just want to make sure you're sure."

  I ignored him, opting instead to grab my purse and head for the door. Gabby had bought tickets to some sort of ice show featuring princesses or cartoon characters or something. I couldn't remember exactly what it was, but I found myself wishing I'd stopped them from going. More than anything, I hated that I couldn't love on Stella before I left.

  After I met with Travis, I'd be forced to share Stella with him. Stella's time already was regularly split between me, Vinnie, and Gabby. The idea of getting even less time with my daughter was painful.

  It wasn't like I didn't know the day would eventually come, but I hadn't been prepared for it to come so soon.

  "I could help you hire a lawyer," Vinnie's words stopped me at the door.

  I glanced back at him. "Huh?"

  "He's at the college on a scholarship, and I don't think his parents are helping him much—if at all, financially. So, it's not like he could afford a legal battle. We could ask for full custody for you. The worst case scenario is we'd have to give him a little supervised visitation. I'd just need a couple phone calls and I'm sure I could find someone good to hire. We could do that if that would make things easier."

  I let out a slight laugh even though his suggestion made me feel a little sick. "I think we've had enough lawyers for one lifetime, don't you?" I readjusted my purse on my shoulder. "I'll be home in a little while."

  "Call or text if you need anything!" Vinnie shouted after me as I made my escape.

  I found myself driving in silence to the restaurant Travis had suggested, the only sound in the car the voice of the GPS as it directed me to the opposite side of campus from the house Vinnie had bought. It wasn't far from The Burgundy. I figured that was probably a sign that Travis lived somewhere relatively close.

  A little shiver ran through me as I pulled into the parking lot. I was all dressed up and meeting Travis Olson for dinner. Part of me felt like I was sixteen again. I couldn't help feeling that Vinnie was right, that it felt like I'd gotten ready for a date instead of what was supposed to be essentially a business meeting between two new co-parents.

  "Here goes nothing," I murmured to myself. If I sat in the car any longer I was going to make myself late for the time we agreed upon.

  I worked my way towards the front door. Surprise hit me when the man of the hour came out and opened the door for me just as I was approaching. He'd been waiting for me.

  "Hey," he greeted.

  "Hi."

  My gaze caught on his and I found myself unable to look away. After all the time that had passed, looking into Travis' eyes was enough to transform me straight back into a swooning teenager.

  "We probably should go in," he suggested after we'd stood there staring at each other for far longer than was polite.

  I ducked my head, feeling the way my embarrassment heated my cheeks. He chuckled behind me as I stepped past him.

  The pizza place he'd invited me to was incredibly informal. There was no host to seat us, but Travis quickly led me to an empty booth in the corner. His choice in seating was a horrifying reminder to
my heart about what we were doing there together.

  Just the day before, I'd seen him out with his too-perfect girlfriend. Somehow, in the midst of all the emotions I'd been feeling, I'd managed to forget all about her. While I'd been struggling to keep my expectations in check, he'd probably just been going through the motions, knowing he'd be returning home to his own personal Barbie doll at the end of the night.

  "Are you okay?" Travis asked.

  Guiltily, I realized I'd been frowning down at the menu in front of me. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I forced myself to smile and examine the menu.

  Things were awkward and stilted as the waiter came and we ordered a pizza to share. I offered to split a pitcher of beer, but Travis was quick to decline. We asked the waiter to just bring waters instead. Our younger selves would have been completely ashamed of us. Old enough to order alcohol legally but choosing not to.

  Once we'd finished ordering, Travis took a deep breath and asked, "Will you tell me about Stella?"

  "What do you want to know?" I shrugged.

  "Everything." He breathed out the word with so much wonder and excitement that it doubled my guilt over not telling him about her from the moment I'd found out I was pregnant. I tried to remind myself that I had my reasons, but it was hard to keep that in mind when the man sitting in front of me seemed nothing like the reckless teenager I'd once known.

  I launched into a rambling account of Stella from birth to present. Even long after the pizza had arrived and been devoured, I continued regaling him with stories of our daughter. He listened with rapt attention. When I finally couldn't think of a single other story, Travis leaned back, closed his eyes, and a heavy frown crossed his face from cheek to cheek.

  "I'm trying really, really hard not to be furious with you right now." I huffed indignantly, but before I could respond he continued, "But right now, I'd really like to focus on getting a chance to get to know my daughter. Are you planning to stop me from doing that?"

  My own fleeting anger softened. "Of course not." I traced a wet spot on the table that had been left behind by the melting ice of my water. "How does Laurel feel about kids?"