Eagle Cove (Thalia Chase: Sex Therapist Book One)

by Darla Baker

  “I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. But I still say she has nothing to worry about.”

  Sammy visibly relaxes. “For your sake and Thalia’s, I hope you’re right.”

  “So, let me ask a question. When is Thalia’s birthday?”

  René answers quickly, “September 29th. When’s yours?”

  “November 7th. I’ll be thirty-four.”

  “Thalia’ll be thirty-seven. A Libra and a Scorpio, interesting.”

  “A Scorpio. I should have known.”

  “Really, Sammy? And why’s that?” Amara says with a hint of seduction in her voice.

  “Never mind.” Sammy quickly looks away. “Oh, look. The girls are back.”

  “Thalia’s birthday is only a month away. Are there any plans in the works?”

  “Thalia’s idea of a birthday celebration is to not have to pick up the tab on Wednesday. Oh, and picking up a special darlin’ on the actual day.” René laughs. “But this year, we’re in new territory. Do you have something in mind?”

  “In mind for what?”

  “Thalia, dear. We were just talking about you.”

  “All juicy and flattering, I hope?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know? I just learned someone has a birthday in a month.”

  “Yep. So what are you going to get me? I’ll give you a hint. I love toys.”

  Amara smacks her on the butt. “Not in front of your friends, dear.”

  “Why? You think they don’t know me? And besides, where’s your mind? I could have been talking about rubber duckies for all you know.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that,” Annie offers.

  “Okay, you’re right. I was talking about perhaps another jet ski. My kiss was worth ten grand. Imagine my worth now!”

  Amara stands up and plants a searing kiss on Thalia’s lips. “That’s my girl.”

  “So, did I give you enough time to grill my girlfriend?”

  “Janice and I didn’t get a turn,” Annie says with a pout.

  “There’s plenty of time. Speaking of grilling, who’s ready for food?”

  The girls break out into a chorus of affirmative responses.

  “Okay. Amara, let’s take this show to the grill. No pun intended.” Thalia laughs.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  THALIA AND AMARA have settled into a comfortable routine over the past three weeks. Amara stays with Thalia during the week. And they spend their weekends on the houseboat so they can enjoy the lake. On the few occasions when Amara has had to stay at her house, they spend half the night on the phone talking about anything, everything, and nothing at all. They just would need to hear the sound of each other’s voice.

  They’re both a little embarrassed by their teenaged behavior. But not enough to stop. Their relationship is perfect. So perfect, it’s scary.

  It’s Friday night, so they’re heading to dinner at the farm. Amara has a meeting Saturday morning, so they’ve decided to spend the night there to avoid the drive back and forth. It will be the first time they’ve stayed at Amara’s house overnight. It’s the first time Thalia has ever slept with a woman at the parents’ house. When she and Diane were together, their families lived in the same town. Thalia is pacing back and forth, wringing her hands, not yet making an effort to get ready for bed, and avoiding getting close to Amara.

  “Relax, dear. My family is upstairs, and they are already asleep. And they don’t go wandering around in the middle of the night. Besides, I’m sure with you here, they don’t want to go poking around and acquire way more information about my love life than is prudent for any of us.”

  “We haven’t been seeing each other for very long, and I have zero experience with these sleeping arrangements. But I’d rather be here with you than home alone missing you. And besides, we don’t have to do anything but sleep.”

  “I have a confession to make.”

  “Okay, now you’re scaring me.”

  “It’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m ovulating.”

  Thalia visibly relaxes. “Oh, thank God. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Why on earth do you feel the need to tell me that? I could understand if you were on your period—”

  “You don’t understand. I’m ovulating. I have a specimen from Nikolas. I’m ready to inseminate, and I want you to do the honors… tonight.”

  Thalia walks over to the window and peers out into the darkness. She can see Amara’s reflection in the window. Her expression is a mix of desire and confusion. Thalia sees her approaching and leans into the arms encircling her waist from behind.

  “Turn around.”

  Thalia complies and soon, Amara has coaxed her into a tender kiss. Thalia brings her hands up to Amara’s face and runs her fingers through her hair, feeling its silky smooth texture as the kiss deepens.

  Amara tugs Thalia toward the bed. She sits down and maneuvers Thalia to stand between her legs. She slowly removes her top and tosses it to the floor. She reaches out to undo Thalia’s pants and moves her hand inside to feel the wetness soaking her underwear. Thalia frees Amara’s breasts from her bra and strokes the nipples gently with her thumbs. She moans and tugs Thalia onto the bed where the weight of Thalia’s form resting on top of her raises her arousal.

  As Thalia settles onto Amara, her gaze travels to the nightstand where an insemination kit waits, ready to insert new life into her lover.

  Thalia climbs off the bed and fastens her pants. “I thought I could handle this but I just can’t.”

  Amara huffs. “What do you mean you can’t? You knew this day would come. We’ve spent hours talking. Not once did you ever mention having a problem with me being a surrogate. You’re a sex therapist for Christ’s sake!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I expect you to let me in on your feelings, not hide them like some coward!”

  “Do you honestly have an early meeting tomorrow or did you just say that to lure me here for this… insemination?” Thalia regrets saying it as soon as it leaves her mouth.

  “I can’t believe you just said that!”

  “I know. I’m sorry. That was totally rude and unnecessary. I know better. Look, I’m human. I don’t know why I haven’t talked to you about this sooner. I don’t know if I can explain this. I don’t want any part of creating a child.”

  “But I’m not having the baby for myself. It’s for Angelos and Nikolas.”

  “You say that now. But what if something happens to the two of them. I’m sure you would wind up raising your niece or nephew. You’d be his or her biological mother, after all. And have you talked to them about whether they will tell the child the truth about you as his or her mother?”

  “Yes, we’ve talked about it. Angelos will adopt the child, and I will relinquish all rights to him or her as a parent. And we will take the secret to our graves.”

  Thalia rolls her eyes. “Still, even if no one ever lets the secret slip, I’m sure you would raise the child if he or she were left an orphan.”

  Tears are forming in Amara’s eyes. “Yes, Thalia, I would raise my child if he or she was orphaned by my brother and his husband. It could happen. But it’s not very likely. This is not at all how I thought our evening would go. I thought you would be happy and share in my joy.”

  Thalia pulls Amara into a tender embrace and wipes the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. Obviously, I knew the time was coming. I guess I’ve been in denial. I know there’s not a high likelihood that your child will be orphaned.”

  Thalia runs her hands through Amara’s long, silky soft hair, down her neck and over her perfectly sculpted shoulders. She grips Amara’s hips and pulls her tight, removing even the slightest gap between them, needing desperately to connect with her. She is holding on as if this is the last time she’ll ever feel Amara in her arms. She parts her lips and draws Amara into a searing kiss, sucking her tongue deep inside, willing herself to memorize every inch of her lover’s form. She pulls back reluctantly, knowing s
he needs to finish the conversation.

  “I have another worry. What if this experience of carrying a child and giving birth leads you to want a child of your own?”

  Amara sits back down on the bed and places her hands over her face. “I can’t promise you that. I know I told you I don’t want children. And right now, I don’t. But I don’t have a crystal ball. Of course, I’ve thought about the possibility that carrying this child will stir something inside of me. I don’t have the same vehement objections to procreation you do. I’ve certainly never heard my biological clock ticking. And until you came into my life, I hadn’t entertained thoughts of having a wife or starting a family of my own. You’ve already changed so much inside of me. I have to be honest with you, I could want to have a child of my own. And you’re the reason.”

  Thalia sits down beside Amara on the bed and joins their hands. “Sweetheart, I’m not ready to take this step with you. I understand that you all made this decision with great thought and care before I was even in the picture, and I respect that. And the time has come to act on it. I would give anything in the world if I could take this step with you. But I can’t. I just can’t. And I can’t stand in your way either.”

  Thalia enters into a long and uncomfortable silence. “I think it’s best if I leave so you can take care of this in peace. And I think we should take some time apart, give each other some space to figure things out.”

  Thalia and Amara are both sobbing from the depths of their soul. Thalia pulls Amara into an excruciating embrace and places a kiss on her lips and then stands up to walk out.

  Thalia whispers, “I love you,” too quiet for Amara to hear.

  She exits out the back door, drops into her Corvette and speeds away, throwing gravel up in her wake.

  THALIA CAN BARELY see the road through her tears. She decides to head straight to see René. This is a pain only a sister can console.

  By the time she arrives at René’s house, it’s after midnight. She pounds on the door hard enough to wake the dead. She feels dead inside.

  The back porch light comes on, and René opens the door.

  “Honey, what’s wrong? Come in.”

  The composure Thalia had managed to gain during the drive shatters, and she begins to cry so hard she can barely catch her breath.

  “Tell me what to do? I don’t know how to help you, sweetie. Here, come sit down. Let me get you some tissues, and I’ll make us some coffee.” René hands her the box of tissues and then heads over to the kitchen.

  Thalia sits down on the sofa and wraps her arms tight around herself, rocking back and forth, sobbing to the point of hyperventilating. It is several minutes before she gains her composure enough to speak. René waits in silence for the coffee to finish brewing.

  “I’m hurting so much. I don’t know what to do. Amara and I broke up tonight.”

  “Why? What happened? I thought things were going great between you two.” René returns to the sofa, hands Thalia her coffee and sits down beside her.

  “She asked me to help her inseminate tonight and I couldn’t do it.”

  “Why not? You knew this was coming. I’m surprised you hadn’t already talked at length about it. That’s not like you.”

  “I know it isn’t. I guess I was in denial. Apparently, even therapists aren’t immune to the destructive force of denial.” Thalia lets out a humorless laugh.

  “Start from the beginning. Tell me everything.”

  “There isn’t much to tell. We’ve been having dinner with her family on Friday nights. She has an early morning meeting tomorrow, and so we decided to spend the night at her house. That’s why I asked you to keep the dogs for me tonight. Where are the dogs?”

  “When I heard the knocking at the door, I locked them in my bedroom. I didn’t know who it was.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “Okay, back to tonight. Wow! That’s sort of huge, isn’t it? I would freak out if I had to spend the night with Derrick and his family. I don’t think I’d like it even now that we’re engaged.”

  “Yeah, I was nervous, and I’m sure that didn’t help matters. And Amara wasn’t nervous at all, which also didn’t help matters. Anyway, we’re getting ready for bed, and she just springs it on me that she’s ovulating and has a specimen from Nikolas, and she wants me to inseminate her during our lovemaking right there in her bedroom with her parents and grandparents one floor up!”

  “Holy shit!”

  “You can say that again. But if logistics was the only problem, we could have gotten past it.”

  “I’m not sure I could have. So what’s the real problem?”

  “I don’t want any part of creating children. And I’m afraid this experience will lead Amara to want to start a family.”

  “Oh.”

  “Right? I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve been so happy with her, happier than I’ve ever been before. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I truly believe she’s my soulmate. I’m finding myself actually believing in that bullshit. Only it doesn’t feel like bullshit any longer. If I’m really honest with myself, it felt real from the first moment I saw her.”

  Thalia takes a sip of her coffee and leans back into the sofa. “No, that’s not even correct. It felt real the first time I heard you say her name. I know that sounds completely crazy. I can’t explain it. Something just stirred inside me.”

  René rubs Thalia’s thigh in a soothing circle. “Sweetie, it doesn’t sound silly at all. You’re just so used to looking at everything so logically. You think. You don’t feel. It’s a big part of what makes you a good therapist. You analyze everything. It’s quite exhausting at times, to be honest. Sometimes, I long to hear from your heart rather than your mind. In the past few weeks since you’ve been seeing Amara, she’s brought out a different side of you. A really nice side. She’s good for you.”

  Tears are once again streaming down Thalia’s cheeks, and she blows her nose. “I’m falling in love with her. Hell! Who am I kidding? I’ve already fallen. And I nearly let it slip tonight. Thank God I caught myself. That would have really been a disaster.”

  “I don’t understand. Why would that have been a disaster?”

  “With this issue of the baby hanging out there, I don’t want to make matters worse by throwing love into the mix.”

  René pats Thalia. “I think it’s already too late. Love is in the mix. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She’s in love with you, too. And all I can see is the miracle. Can you explain to me why this baby threatens to destroy this beautiful gift? Most people search their entire life for their soulmate and never find them. Yours just walks into your life. Hell, she walked right into your practice. The universe handed her to you on a silver platter, and you have the nerve to toss her out? I’m sorry, Thalia, but really, shame on you.”

  “Thanks for the support.”

  “I am supporting you. If not your sister, then who’s going to tell you the truth?”

  “I know, and I appreciate it. I’ve just seen so much pain and horror involving children in my years as a therapist. I can’t bear to watch Amara throw those dice, much less participate.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you. I think you’re throwing away a sure bet over some pretty lousy odds on a gamble. But only you can figure this out. Unless, of course, you let Amara in and figure it out together. What would Thalia Chase advise?”

  Thalia allows herself the smallest of grins. She stands up and gives her sister a big hug. “Thanks. I’m going to take Sassy and Grace and head home. Thanks for keeping them at the last minute.” She walks down the hall to the bedroom and opens the door.

  “You’re welcome. You know I love you, and I’m here for you no matter what. And I have faith this will all work out for the best.”

  “That makes one of us,” Thalia tosses back as she walks out the door, Sassy and Grace following close behind.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “OFFICE OF THALIA Chase. René speaking. How may I h
elp you?”

  “It’s me. I hate to do this to you, but I just can’t seem to motivate myself to come in today. Will you rearrange my schedule and give Sammy a call to let her know I won’t be coming to the bar tonight?”

  “Of course. But why don’t you call Sammy yourself? And you never miss your Wednesday nights. You look forward to it all week. Yesterday was your birthday, and you didn’t even want to celebrate. I’m sure the gang will want to wish you a happy birthday.”

  “I know. But I just can’t. There’s no way I feel like celebrating my birthday. Nearly three weeks and I still can’t get over Amara. It’s ridiculous. We hardly even knew each other.”

  “I’ve seen you with Amara. We all have. You’re not going to just snap your fingers and get over her. And quite frankly, I’m glad.”

  “What do you mean?” The words come out louder than Thalia intends.

  “You know exactly what I mean. As far as I’m concerned, you brought this on yourself and you’ll be lucky if Amara even wants you back once you realize what an idiot you’ve been.”

  Thalia sniffs and blows her nose right into the phone. “I… I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. It isn’t anyone’s fault. Amara and I just have fundamentally different core values.”

  “Bullshit! That’s complete and utter bullshit, and you know it. You’re afraid, pure and simple. I don’t know if this is about Diane or children or something else, but I know fear when I see it. And you, dear sister, are afraid! You wouldn’t let your clients get away with this shit. So why are you giving yourself a break?”

  There’s a long pause before René finally speaks. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I love you. And it’s not just these past few weeks. I’ve been watching you live like this for five years.”