THE HITWOMAN UNDER PRESSURE (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 15)

by JB Lynn

  Zeke handed me a glass of water. His gaze met mine, something turbulent swirling in the depths of his eyes.

  "No," I sighed. "I did not have a nice visit with Mom. She was off in her own little world and then she started screaming about feathers."

  "That's why I wouldn't go see her," Marlene confessed. "I knew she would be in one of her states after…"

  "After what?" Susan asked, entering the dining room, carrying a tray of sandwiches.

  Marlene’s gaze skittered to mine worriedly. Mentioning my mother, Aunt Susan’s sister, and her escape from the hospital with our father would surely lead to more tension.

  Taking pity on Marlene, I changed the subject. "Where's Griswald?"

  "He has his own life." Susan put a sandwich on my plate. Her tone sounded slightly defensive.

  I tried again. "And I assume Templeton is visiting Loretta?"

  The tension in Susan's shoulders lessened. "Yes. And when he gets back he wants to discuss her welcome home party."

  I must've groaned aloud, because Susan looked at me sharply.

  "I'm just not in a mood to party," I explained weakly.

  "Besides," Marlene interjected, "how can we celebrate anything when we know Darlene is out there somewhere?"

  Aunt Susan fell into her seat with a thud. "We don't know Darlene is out there."

  "But Gypsy said…" Marlene began.

  "Since when does anyone in this family listen to psychics?” Susan was jutting her chin out so far, I was afraid she'd strain her neck.

  Zeke and I exchanged a quick look. We both knew that the psychic, Gypsy, was right. Darlene, Marlene's twin, was alive and well, despite what everyone had believed for years.

  "Maggie listens to Armani all the time," Marlene argued.

  I winced. I'd hoped to stay out of this particular argument, and didn't appreciate that Marlene had dragged me into it.

  Susan sent me her withering gaze. "Is that true, Margaret?"

  I shrugged sheepishly.

  "And you're going to encourage this kind of behavior from Marlene?"

  "Everyone heard what Gypsy said," I said quietly.

  "Not everyone believes her."

  "It was a shock," I said slowly.

  "It was a lie." Susan pounded the table for emphasis.

  To save myself from having to answer her, I took a giant bite of my sandwich. “This is good," I mumbled with a full mouth.

  "What do you think, Maggie?" Marlene asked. "Do you think she's alive?"

  I took my time chewing, but it was still painful to swallow, since I was choked up with emotion. I knew Darlene was alive. I’d even killed a man to keep her that way.

  "I think," I said carefully, "that it never hurts to think positively."

  "Maybe you need to become your mother's roommate then," Susan sniped.

  My head snapped back like she’d physically slapped me.

  “Maybe we—” Zeke began, trying to defuse the situation.

  I held up a hand to silence him. I didn’t need him fighting my battles and I needed Susan to know where I stood on the issue, not because of my belief in psychics, but to prepare her for Darlene’s eventual return. "Multiple things Armani has told me have come true. There's no reason to think that what Gypsy said isn't true."

  "Except for the police report that stated she'd been murdered." Susan was holding on to the edge of the table with a white knuckled grip, as though it was her last chance to hang on to a shred of sanity.

  I knew that feeling well. I had no desire to upset her, but I couldn't see how anything would be served in the long run, by denying the possibility that her niece was still alive.

  I didn’t want to argue with her, so I just stared down at my plate.

  “Besides, your father identified her body,” Susan reminded me.

  “My father who lies about everything,” I muttered darkly.

  Marlene winced.

  “It’s true,” I said, even though she hadn’t protested.

  Marlene moved uncomfortably in her seat, as if the act of staying silent was physically painful for her.

  It fell to Zeke to speak.

  "I know it's none of my business," he started softly, "but don't you think this family has been through enough in the last few months?"

  "I know I have," I muttered bitterly.

  "It has been a strain," Susan admitted.

  "Not for me," Marlene said. "For me, it's been awesome."

  I considered picking up my sandwich and throwing it at her face. For her, it probably had been awesome. She no longer worked as a prostitute, she’d moved back into the B&B (and taken my room), and she had a cute boyfriend who doted on her.

  Meanwhile, I'd been saddled with the responsibility of caring for Katie, had had my apartment blown up, had almost been killed by an ex-boyfriend, had dealt with my father's escapades, and had discovered my missing sister, believed dead, had gone and made a pretty good life for herself, complete with a husband and two beautiful daughters. Plus, I'd developed the blessing/curse of being able to talk to my pets, fallen in love with my murder mentor, and become a contract killer. So yeah, I'd been through a lot in the last months.

  I didn't say any of that aloud. I glanced at Susan, who was still clutching the table, as she stared down at her plate.

  "Susan's had to deal with a lot," I told Marlene. "You and I both moved back in, Katie moved in, she fell in love with Griswald, and her sisters are driving her nuts.”

  Susan looked up at me, her mouth gaping open with surprise, as though she couldn't believe that I had enough empathy to have an idea of what she was feeling.

  Maybe my empathy training when I’d worked at Insuring the Future hadn’t been a total waste of time.

  "So maybe throwing a welcome home party for Loretta is a good idea," Zeke floated lightly. "It would be nice to celebrate something."

  I found myself nodding.

  "And she'd really like it," Susan admitted grudgingly.

  "Excellent!" Zeke rubbed his hands together. "And that's what we'll do, we’ll throw a party and for a little while everyone can forget everything that they've got on their mind."

  Susan nodded her approval. "You're a good boy, Zeke.”

  He winced.

  "What's wrong?" Susan asked.

  "You do know I'm a grown man, don’t you?" he laughed. "I haven't been a boy in a long time."

  She shook her head. "You'll always be a boy in my mind.” She looked to Marlene and finally to me. "You'll always be children in my mind."

  Is it any wonder I often feel like I’m not a full-fledged grown-up?

  Chapter 2

  While the other three gabbed excitedly about the details of the party, I mumbled something about having a headache and needing a nap.

  I took an extra sandwich, picked up my plate, and retreated to the basement with DeeDee following closely on my heels.

  “Piss has an announcement to make,” God himself announced when we’d reached the bottom of the stairs.

  The cat narrowed her good eye at him and I thought I saw her flex her claws.

  “Want some turkey?” I asked, sitting down on the couch and unrolling the pinwheel.

  “Didn’t you hear me?” God asked indignantly. “I said—”

  “I heard you.” I tossed a piece of turkey to the dog who wolfed it down like she hadn’t been fed in days, despite my knowing Susan had just fed her. “Want some?” I asked the cat.

  Her whiskers twitched excitedly, but she flattened her good ear and said, “No.”

  That’s when I knew that whatever it was she had to say was important.

  I immediately tossed the remainder of the sandwich to the dog so that I could give the cat my full attention. “What’s up?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, or at least meow, but no sound came out.

  “She’s thinking about leaving,” God supplied helpfully. “Again,” he added bitterly.

  This wasn’t the first time the cat had announced her desire to leave
our dysfunctional family. Still, the knowledge she wasn’t happy hurt me. I’m pretty sure I winced. “Why?”

  “I’m running out of lives, sugar,” she purred sadly.

  “Melodramatic much?” God mocked.

  I picked up a throw pillow and raised it overhead, a silent threat to throw it at the lizard. He skittered beneath the piece of driftwood in his enclosure for protection.

  Lowering the pillow, I looked back at the cat. “Is this because of what happened on the bus?”

  She’d been banged up pretty badly in the bus crash when we’d been trying to escape the men sent to kill Darlene.

  “Partially,” she admitted.

  I nodded my understanding. “You can stay here,” I bargained. “It’s safe. It’s warm. There’s food.”

  She twitched her tail. “The danger is only part of it.”

  “What else is there?”

  “I have unfinished business,” she said slowly. “Something I need to do. I never meant to stay this long, but you were so nice and then I felt a responsibility to stick around.”

  “A responsibility she’s obviously no longer burdened with,” God sniped.

  I held up a finger to the cat. “Hold that thought for a second.” Getting up, I crossed the room, grabbed the terrarium, and carried it into the bathroom.

  “What are you doing?” The lizard clung to his driftwood like it was a lifeboat.

  “If you can’t be quiet,” I said, “you can’t be a part of things. You could have gotten me killed earlier and I—”

  “I did not,” he argued indignantly.

  “You did.” I put the terrarium on the bathroom floor. “This conversation with Piss is important and you aren’t going to interrupt.”

  “I won’t, I promise,” he pleaded as I turned on the shower.

  “Think of this as a spa session for your sensitive skin.” I closed the door behind me.

  “You can’t leave me here,” he bellowed.

  But I did just that.

  Sitting down on the couch, I patted the spot beside me. “Talk to me,” I invited the cat.

  But before she could, there was a knock at the door.

  I groaned. “Never a moment’s peace.”

  Another knock.

  “What?” I shouted, making my annoyance clear.

  “Katie wanted to say hello,” Angel, the manny, replied calmly.

  “Come on down,” I yelled. “I’m sorry about this,” I whispered to Piss.

  Her response was to silently slink under the couch.

  Angel, wearing a Navy t-shirt stretched across his chest and carrying my niece on his back, thundered down the stairs. “Your aunt said you were taking a nap.”

  “And miss seeing my favorite niece?” I exclaimed.

  “I’m your only niece,” she replied playing along.

  A lump rose in my throat as I realized that was no longer true. I had two other nieces, Darlene’s daughters.

  Angel knelt down so that Katie could climb off him. She wobbled unsteadily, the aftereffects of the car accident that had killed her parents and left her in a coma.

  I fought the urge to reach out and steady her. All of her doctors and therapists agreed she needed to do things on her own. Needing to do something with my hands, I balled them into fists. “How was your day, Katie?”

  She shrugged as DeeDee strolled over to her and nudged her hand with her nose. “It was okay. Where’s Godzilla?”

  I glanced in the direction of the bathroom.

  “Is there someone else here?” Angel asked, a note of tension creeping into his voice as he realized the shower was running.

  “No,” I replied a little too quickly.

  “No?” The dark-haired man’s bulging biceps crossed over his chest. He thought I was lying.

  I offered him a weak smile. “I was giving the little guy a sauna treatment, figured some steam would be good for his skin.”

  Angel shook his head, making it clear he still didn’t believe me.

  Rushing over to the bathroom, I threw open the door, turned off the running water, and carried out the terrarium.

  Angel tried to look around me to see if there was anyone else there. He didn’t seem satisfied that the tiny room was now unoccupied.

  “Haven’t you ever heard of the Geneva Conventions,” God spluttered as though I’d waterboarded him.

  “Confections Godiva?” DeeDee asked.

  “Geneva Conventions, you grammatically-challenged cretin. They exist to protect prisoners of war.”

  “Bless your heart, you’re not a POW,” Piss reminded him from beneath the couch.

  “Hi Godzilla!” Katie called out, oblivious to the lizard’s torture accusation.

  To his credit, he did stop feeling sorry for himself long enough to flick his tail at her.

  “Katie has something she wanted to ask you,” Angel said.

  Putting the terrarium down on the floor, I asked the little girl, “What’s up?”

  “We need a shap-pone.” She looked down at the ground as she spoke.

  I shrugged at Angel helplessly, having no clue what a shap-pone was.

  “Chaperone,” he supplied helpfully. “Her class has a trip next week and the mother who was supposed to chaperone broke her leg.”

  “Like Aunt Loretta,” Katie interjected helpfully as though I didn’t know what a broken leg was.

  Angel nodded at the little girl. “So the class is looking for a replacement chaperone.”

  My heart soared. Lately all it seemed like Katie ever said to me was that I wasn’t her mommy and she hated me. I tried to sound nonchalant as I asked, “And you want me to do it?”

  She shrugged, glanced up at me hopefully for a brief second, and then looked away again.

  “I’d love to,” I hurriedly assured her.

  Her gaze snapped up to meet mine. “Promise?”

  “Cross my heart,” I pledged, carefully avoiding the whole “hope to die” part because in my line of work, that was a very real possibility.

  She offered me a shy smile.

  “You could at least hug your Aunt Maggie to say thank you,” Angel coached gently.

  As she limped toward me, I bent down, trying to blink away the tears that filled my eyes. “I love you, baby girl,” I whispered as she wrapped her arms around me.

  “Love you too,” she murmured automatically. “Can I have a cookie for a snack?”

  I glanced at Angel who had a better idea of what she’d had to eat at school than I had.

  He shook his head.

  “No cookie,” I told her as she pulled away. “But you can have a banana.”

  “Banana!” the dog barked excitedly.

  Katie giggled. “Can I share it with DeeDee?”

  “Yes, but she can only have half.”

  “C’mon, DeeDee,” Katie ordered, limping toward the stairs.

  I moved to follow behind, to make sure she wouldn’t fall, but Angel caught my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Let her try it on her own,” he whispered.

  I watched tensely as Katie reached the stairs.

  Piss emerged from beneath the couch and wound herself around my ankles. “DeeDee, walk behind Katie to make sure she doesn’t fall,” she ordered the dog.

  I smiled down at her gratefully as DeeDee carefully positioned herself behind the little girl who was awkwardly pulling herself up the flight of stairs.

  “Sometimes I think that’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen,” Angel said under his breath.

  I winked down at Piss, who purred back, “Silly man.”

  When Katie and DeeDee finally reached the kitchen and shut the door behind them, I let out a shaky sigh.

  That’s when I realized that Angel’s fingers were still wrapped around my arm.

  I looked up at him. “Thank you.”

  “She’s the one who climbed the stairs.”

  “I meant thank you for the whole chaperone thing.”

  “It’s not like I broke the wo
man’s leg or anything. I leave that kind of thing to other members of my family,” he joked, making fun of his organized crime clan.