Complete Works of Gustave Flaubert

by Gustave Flaubert

  KING C: We hope so!

  (At a sign from King C. the Officers of his Court move quickly to R. and L.; some among the larger trees bearing costumes, others towards the stuffs on the hillocks in the rear; a few among the trees with the marabout flumes, and some towards the comb-tree. They crowd around Jeanne, putting various articles of dress upon her. Meanwhile the back drop and side scenes change so that the entire stage represents a large dry-goods and costume shop, full of clerks serving fashionable ladies. King C. is seated R. I. E. on a small couch; he assumes a meditative pose, and has an open book ready to take notes. The clerks try cloaks, shawls, hats, etc., upon the ladies. Several of them address King C., who replies three times)

  Leave me! I am composing!

  (Queen C. serves tea from a small tea-table placed near King C. At times the action stops, and there is a general silence. Then the King, with a monocle in his eye, passes all the women in review, readjusts details of their costume, lowers or pulls up the fronts of their corsages with an abrupt gesture; then shrugs his shoulders and cries):

  No, not that! That is too old! Something else! Quick!

  (Jeanne is in the centre of every group as it forms. Finally all the Ladies, including the Queen, who has followed the successive changes, are dressed like Jeanne in an extremely rich and extravagant fashion)

  KING C.: Remain where you are half an hour. That effect is very fine!

  (General satisfaction expressed by sighs from all the Ladies; but suddenly King C. considers Jeanne attentively, then quickly removing some of her costume, he cries):

  No, that does not please me at all — nor that either! Bring something else. Come! Be quick!

  (At last Jeanne is attired in a costume of simple and exquisite taste)

  KING C.: Now, my lords and ladies, perfumers and embroiderers, shirt-makers and dressmakers, retire to your respective cabinets; we desire to be alone. Remain here, my Couturine! [Exit all except King and Queen and Jeanne]

  KING C.: Well, young woman, the elegant and luxurious toilette you longed for so much — behold yourself in it!

  JEANNE: It is true, then. I am not dreaming?

  KING C.: Not a doubt of it. No one, thanks to our efforts, will be more fascinating than yourself.

  JEANNE: Oh, thanks, thanks again, your Majesty! Perhaps he will love me now!

  KING C.: Perhaps! In order to attain to the dignity of the modern woman (a thing difficult to comprehend!), and to become that charming, incomprehensible, and fateful being, begun by God and finished by the poets and the hair-dressers, who took sixty centuries to appear in the form of the perfect Parisienne, — there are many things that you must learn, little girl, of which at present you are ignorant.

  JEANNE: What are they?

  KING C.: What are they? You do not know how to bow, to smile, to purse up your lips, to give a saucy wink, nor to babble about your trials while taking a melancholy pose on a sofa, like a flower broken in the wind. What would you do, now, if your lover sighed his passion in your ear? What would you say if he should ask, Dost thou love me?

  JEANNE: I should answer yes, your Majesty!

  KING C.: But one does not say that sort of thing, girl! That word is natural, popular, and therefore indecent.

  JEANNE: Alas! What should I say? Teach me!

  KING C.: Ah, behold approaching us two types of perfect taste! Come hither!

  SCENE IV.

  (Enter two clerks, carrying two life-size manikins, a man and a woman. Both are dressed in the latest fashion. The man has a distinct farting made in the back of the hair on his head, which continues through the fur collar of his coat and extends down the back of the rough cloth of the coat itself,as far as the waist-line. His trousers are carefully creased, and he wears an English monocle)

  KING C.: Consider these two virtuous manikins, which resemble human beings perfectly. Try to reproduce their movements, if you wish to have fine manners. Remember their discourse, and hereafter, no matter where you may find yourself, — in the country, making a call, at an evening reception, at dinner or at the play, — you may chatter freely about nature, literature, blond-haired children, the ideal life, the turf, and other things. The key, Couturine. [Winds up the two figures in their chests] Let us begin. By listening to this one, you will learn what is necessary to say in the country, if there is fine scenery. [Takes the male manikin and shakes it to the right and the left, as one shakes a clock that has run down. The Queen does the same to the other figure] Go!

  THE MAN [makes little rapid gestures with the right handy with a brisk lively manner]: Good-day, my dear!

  THE WOMAN [with the same manner]: Good-day, my friend! [They approach each other from opposite sides of the stage, rolling on little wheels. When they meet they shake hands stiffly and sneer at each other]

  THE MAN [looks around with jerky movements of the head]: Well! well! Where are we now?

  THE WOMAN [mincingly, and speaking in detached phrases]: Ah! the delicious country! A most picturesque situation! Pretty little flowers! So poetic — and useless! Poetic because they are useless — useless because they are poetic!

  THE MAN [peevishly]: For my part, I find it as commonplace as a cabbage, your beautiful country! As for sentiment, away with it! And elegies, ha! ha! ha! And poetry — ha! ha! ha! — I have gone a long way beyond that sort of thing. Ha! ha! ha!

  THE WOMAN [with many gestures]: But really, permit me to say, that if one grouped a number of these trees, putting those large ones in the background, and bringing forward that fine old oak, and had some picturesquely dressed peasants in the foreground, and a railway running along at one side, it would be, you must allow, a very attractive subject for one to make a drawing of.

  THE MAN [gallantly]: As for attractions, I prefer yours, dear lady!

  THE WOMAN: Where did you learn to talk like that? At the houses of some of your gay young friends, I have no doubt. Do you know, I should like — if I could do it without anyone being the wiser — to go to one of their houses, — just to see their furniture and how they live!

  MAN: I am at your service! [Aside] What an imagination! She positively sparkles! [Aloud] But, allow me a word of advice with regard to your investments. I will take charge of them.

  WOMAN [quickly]: And of the reports also?

  MAN [quickly]: Certainly! I have my note-books.

  WOMAN [quickly]: Let us not say, then —

  QUEEN C. [stops the machinery]: That is enough. They will never stop if we let them go on like that.

  JEANNE: I was getting rather tired of it.

  KING C.: Oh, they were doing very well. But now let us hear them talk about the news of the day. [Winds springs in another place on the manikins]

  WOMAN [slowly, with a sad tone]: Dearl dear! it appears that they have massacred twelve thousand of those poor wretches!

  MAN [sings]: Broum! broum! broum! What does that matter to us? I don't give a — thought to trouble! Life is short; let us amuse ourselves! Tourlarou! tourlarou!

  WOMAN [gaily]: You belong to the days of the Regency — when they wore red heels!

  MAN [hand within his waistcoat, speaks gravely]: Yes, but with liberal ideas! A mingling of the old French aristocracy and American industrialism. What is that?

  WOMAN [speaks quickly in a supplicating tone, offering a handful of small papers]: They are lottery tickets for my poor!

  MAN: Only too happy, Madame! [Aside] Pinched! [Lightly] And the newest novel — have you read it?

  WOMAN [gushingly]: Oh, yes! Is it not fine? The author is indeed a great man.

  MAN [naturally]: Not at all; he is quite an idiot, or so they say.

  WOMAN: DO they? Well, of course it must be true, then. I believe you.

  MAN [looks at her tenderly and sighs]: If you would only believe all that I — [Stops abruptly]

  KING C.: Oh, I forgot to give them the two half-turns.

  JEANNE: But those two do not really like each other at all, do they?

  KING C. [winds up the manikins aga
in]: Yes, that is the way these affairs begin; and after he has said enough impertinent things to her to make her weep, there will be so good an understanding between them that they will be invited to all the best houses.

  [During this speech, the manikins have been making tender demonstrations, growing more and more expressive] No! No! not that! Waltz, now! waltz! [Starts them off in a waltz, and as they dance Jeanne tries to imitate their movements] That's right! See, his chin is up and his elbow is in the air, while she is as straight as a reed and keeps her face lowered; both cutting angles in space, like a true geometrical figure in a fine humour! Enough! Let them be taken away. And Couturine, see that the attendants put them in the right boxes. [Servants carry away the manikins. Exit Queen Couturine]

  SCENE V.

  KING C.: There! Now you know enough of society manners to enable you to appear in the polite world.

  JEANNE: Ah, it is not the world that troubles me — it is he! Where is he? I long so much to see him.

  KING C.: It might be possible for me to grant your wish.

  JEANNE [delighted]: Oh!

  KING C.: On one condition, however.

  JEANNE: Name it! Whatever it is, I yield to it. Tell me!

  KING C.: It is that you will not allow either himself or his companion to recognise you.

  JEANNE: But why?

  KING C.: Because he repelled you when you were a peasant — have you forgotten that? Now, listen to me well. You cannot doubt my power, for have I not given you more robes than you ever had pins, and more beautiful pearls than you ever put grains of bran into the hog-trough? Well, I swear to you by that same power that if you betray your name to him, at that very instant, as suddenly as if by a stroke of lightning, you shall die!

  JEANNE [hangs her head, while King C. observes her closely; then slowly]: It matters not under what name or what disguise I meet him, if he will only love me; that is all I wish. Shall we go?

  KING C.: That is not necessary. Here he comes now, to make purchases for his long journey. [Dominique's voice heard without]

  SCENE VI.

  (During the preceding dialogue the scene has gradually changed to an immense shop, filled with articles for travelling: trunks, bags, etc. The back of the stage is occupied by tailors and dressmakers)

  (Enter Paul and Dominique)

  DOMINIQUE: Make way there! We must have two night valises, an alms-bag, and some rugs.

  FIRST CLERK: At your service, Monsieur!

  SECOND CLERK: Immediately, Monsieur!

  THIRD CLERK: Eighth floor, fifteenth shelf!

  FOURTH CLERK: No, here!

  DOMINIQUE: Ah, I shall lose my head! [Paul and Dominique stand C.]

  JEANNE [R., hand on her heart]: It is he!

  PAUL [sees Jeanne]: What a beautiful girl!

  DOMINIQUE: It seems to me she has a look — [Laughs] I am "a fool! As if it were possible —

  PAUL: But I have certainly seen her somewhere. Where? Ah — in my dreams, no doubt!

  JEANNE [quickly]: He does not know me! Good! It is because this toilette disguises me so well.

  KING C.: YOU certainly have a better chance of pleasing him in it. But do not forget my instructions.

  JEANNE: No, no! Oh, I feel myself quite equal to appearing well before him. You shall see.

  PAUL [bows to Jeanne]: Madame! [Speaks low] That so lovely a being should be here, where I may meet her, is no doubt the will of heaven! Can it be, by chance —

  JEANNE [imitates the lady manikin]: Good-day, good day, my friend!

  PAUL [aside]: What familiarity! Perhaps it is a sign, an indication —

  JEANNE [approaches Paul]: Of sadness, it seems to me. And the cause?

  PAUL: I am just about to set out on a long voyage, but a moment ago I asked myself whether I should not do better to —

  JEANNE: A journey! That would suit me! The madder one is, the more one laughs! Ha! ha! ha! Give me your arm. Now let us see! Presto!

  PAUL: She is mad!

  JEANNE: Listen! I have ninety-two boxes full of frocks, head-ornaments by the dozen, quantities of embroidered handkerchiefs, the finest laces, gloves with twenty-six buttons, and such loves of little shoes! [Shows her feet] See my beautiful little shoes!

  PAUL: Enough! Enough!

  JEANNE: My little châlet of mahogany can, in the twinkling of an eye, transport itself to the most picturesque situations, and with a piano [Paul makes a gesture of disgust], a good piano, I play polkas on the mountains. I know how to give excellent imitations — listen!

  PAUL: In heaven's name, stop!

  JEANNE [vivaciously]: The reflection of our elegance will embellish the whole world. We shall give routs in our pagodas; we shall dress up the savages; our face powder shall be wafted on every breeze! I am for chic — chic forever! From morning till night we shall make jokes. We shall write our names on all the monuments; we shall visit all the ruins and tell great stories about them! We shall lean over steep precipices. You will not be bored. Thanks to the post nowadays, the newspapers can reach us everywhere. If an occasion should arise for an affair — you know! — a lake of burning petroleum —

  PAUL [recoils]: Horror!

  JEANNE: Come, let us love!

  PAUL: Not in that fashion! [Going]

  JEANNE: Come back!

  PAUL: Never! [Exit.

  DOMINIQUE [looks about R. and L.]: What! Gone? But she seems to be a very amiable young person!

  [Exit.

  SCENE VII.

  JEANNE [throws herself upon the Queen's chair]: Oh, dear! Oh, dear!

  KING C: What is the matter?

  JEANNE [sobs and leans upon King C.]: Oh, I am horribly unhappy!

  (Chorus of tailors and dressmakers offer consolation as they pursue their occupations)

  JEANNE [listens to them awhile without seeming to understand; then suddenly]: Miserable people! you are the cause of my unhappiness, with your foolish tricks. Get away from me, liars and cheats! with your hypocrisies, false sentiment, false hair, padded bosoms, narrow souls! I hate you all! No, no, I will have no more of it! [Pulls off her fine clothes] Where is he? I must see him and tell him how I have deceived him. Paul! Paul! [Runs this way and that, frightened, breathless, upsetting everything in her way. Tailors and dressmakers exit hastily] Paul! Wait for me! Answer! I am coming! Do you see me? Paul! [Comes to front of stage, stands near Couturin, who is in reality the King of the Gnomes.] Ah, I have lost him forever!

  KING C.: It is your own fault. You did not manage right.

  JEANNE: That is true. I should have told him who I am.

  KING C.: But then you would have been killed — have you forgotten that?

  JEANNE: What should I have done, then? It was I that drove him away. Instead of trying to display myself by those artificial manners that stifle the heart, I should have told him simply who I am, and not have tried to dazzle him with my awkward attempts at elegance. If I had appeared different perhaps I might have pleased him. He would like some one with less rouge on her cheeks, less folly on her lips, and less affectation in her manners; a woman who would win him by modesty and tenderness — a good wife — a simple bourgeoise.

  KING C.: And do you wish to be a simple bourgeoise?

  JEANNE: Do you think he would love me then?

  KING C.: I think so.

  JEANNE: How shall I become one?

  KING C.: That is very easy.

  JEANNE: Make, me one, then!

  KING C.: You really wish it?

  JEANNE: Yes! Yes! Where shall I find him?

  KING C. [takes her hand with authority, leads her away]: Come with me! This way! Follow me!

  SIXTH TABLEAU. THE KINGDOM OF THE STOCK-POT.

  Scene: The scene represents a public place in the form of a half circle. Several streets lead away from the centre, in such a way that the whole town can be seen at a glance. The houses, all alike, are of a poor and commonplace aspect, painted brown, set off with white. In the middle of the stage, placed upon a tripod over burning coals, is an
enormous Stock-Pot, with its contents boiling furiously.

  Around the Stock-Pot, arranged in a semi-circle, are large mohogany armchairs, in which sit several grocers and other tradesmen, wearing frock-coats and otter caps. Behind them, on each side of the stage, stand representatives of the different occupations of the town, carrying banners, on which appear the words “Bureaucracy,” “Sciences,” “Literature," etc. The professors wear caps and green shades over their eyes; the literary men carry pipes and have inkstands slung upon their hips; the clerks wear great sleeves of black percale and have pens stuck over their ears. All the men wear their beards in collar-like form, and have long coats like tradesmen, and wear tall hats.