The Earth Painter

by Melissa Turner Lee

  “Why don’t you let me do that, and you go get ready.”

  Why did she always do that? “Fine.” I went to my room, grabbed my bathrobe and went to take a shower. By the time I came out, Nanna had left and was on her way back to Atlanta.

  “Where did you get that dress?”

  I looked down and spread it out. It was a nice blend of turquoise and brown. “Nanna gave it to me for my birthday.”

  Mom’s mouth drew up in disapproval “You know strappy dresses are not your friend. It’s why I knew you could never do the pageant circuit. I’d have spent a fortune on body makeup trying to cover your freckles.” Mom grabbed another tray and made her way to the door. “I’m your mother, not your friend. I’m not going to lie to you.” And she walked out.

  I felt my face turn red, my blood boiled under my flesh, making my cheeks hot to the touch. I grabbed my monologue and plopped on the sofa to read over it. Not only would I keep the dress on, I would do my best to have it wrinkled by the time the party started.

  I looked at the monologue and tried to push my mom from my mind. It was the opening to a play called, The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds, by Paul Zindel. I didn’t know the play, and trying to understand the feelings behind the words was kind of difficult. The character, Tillie, was rambling on about her hand and atoms and the sun all being a part of her. I heard a car door slam outside. I sat up and looked out the window.

  “Mom, someone’s here.”

  Mom ran outside to greet them. Dad hadn’t gotten home yet from the car lot so I thought she might need my help as people arrived. I stood and smoothed out my dress but remembered about our argument and stopped. By the looks of the people getting out of the car, I was dressed just fine.

  Dad got home a little while after most of the guests had arrived. It was funny how the party was supposed to be for my birthday and yet I didn’t know anyone. I mainly stood around and listened to Mom brag about this and that. She introduced me to one couple—the Cooleys. Mr. Cooley asked me what grade I was in. I answered that I was a senior. Then he asked what colleges I was considering.

  “I’m thinking community college the first two years, and then I’ll transfer to one of the universities so I won’t have such huge loans to pay back.”

  My mom quickly interrupted. “Community college…tsk…Holly knows we’d never leave her to shoulder the burden of her college tuition. We probably won’t have to pay a dime anyway. She’s a straight A student and has been since kindergarten. Always has her nose in a book. We are so proud of her.” Mom squeezed me as she put her arm around my shoulder then pulled me away from them.

  “Don’t go around telling people your dad and I can’t afford to send you to the college of your choice. It makes us look bad,” she whispered.

  “You can’t afford to pay for my college. The burden is on my shoulders. You want me to lie to people?” I glared into my mom’s blue eyes. They were like glass—hard and cold.

  “No, of course I’m not telling you to lie, just find a way to answer that leaves out the embarrassing parts. Are you trying to shame us?”

  That was it. “Mom, you and Dad still have people calling to collect money for things we don’t even own anymore. But I didn’t say a word about that to Mr. Cooley. I simply answered the man’s question.”

  Mom stood there. Her lips drew up like she was holding something back. She leaned in to my ear and whispered. “I was only a few points from being valedictorian; I held the most titles of any other Miss Chesnee High School in the school’s history. Voted most popular and most likely to succeed.” She pointed to our house. “This isn’t the life I was supposed to have.”

  Mom left me to go schmooze with her guests. I didn’t feel like I belonged at her party anyway, so I went back in the house to work on my monologue. I’d never told my mom how I honestly felt before. It was a relief. I was tired of trying to be something I wasn’t or being so scared of doing the wrong thing that I never did anything. I just wanted to be me. The best me I could be. The problem was I didn’t actually know who Holly Scruggs was, besides being Heather and Randall Scruggs’ redheaded daughter.—the girl who didn’t look, or think or act like her perfect mother.

  Trying my best without having to be perfect—the thought was liberating. The churning that was always in my gut was gone for the first time.

  Locking myself in my room, I changed into jeans and t-shirt. I pulled out my computer to look up the play my monologue had come from. If I knew more about what Tillie was talking about and why, I could better understand her emotions during the monologue. I was going to try my best at drama and not worry so much what people thought.

  Perspiration gathered on my neck, so I pulled my hair up and raised my window. That’s when I heard two women in the side yard talking.

  “They haven’t changed a bit, especially Heather. She was always such a suck up in high school.”

  The other woman soon answered. “Fake, too. I don’t buy for one second that they moved back to simplify their lives. More like, came home with their tails tucked between their legs.”

  The other woman replied, “My sister Susan lives in Atlanta near Randall’s sister, Connie. She said Heather likes people to think she quit working to start a family. But Connie told Susan she got fired from her first job almost as soon as she got it.” The woman snickered. “I guess she couldn’t hack it.”

  ***

  I kept thinking about the ladies outside my window while I helped clean up the yard after the party. My mom undoubtedly wasn’t as impressive as she thought. In fact, she wasn’t impressing anybody. So maybe I wasn’t as unimpressive as she made me feel either.

  Mom covered trays of uneaten food with foil. “I think the party was a success. Not as posh as the ones we used to throw back in Charleston. Well neither were the guest for that matter, but still a success. What do you guys think?”

  I looked at my dad who was picking up paper cups, then over at mom.

  “I overheard a couple of ladies talking about you guys.”

  Mom stopped what she was doing and turned her complete attention to me. For the first time, I saw a resemblance between us—the need for approval in her eyes. I’d planned to let her know exactly what was said, to let her know no one was buying her act. But looking at her—knowing how it felt not to measure up—I couldn’t do it. “They said you and Dad hadn’t changed a bit since high school. Especially you Mom.”

  Mom beamed and touched her face. “Well, that goes to show you the importance of exfoliating and moisturizing daily.”

  I nodded and got back to cleaning up. “Yeah Mom, I’ll try to remember that.”

  Chapter 5

  After the party, I sat out on the porch studying my monologue. Mom and Dad had gone to dinner with some people from the party. A blonde girl about my age drove up to the house next door and got out. She was on her way inside when she saw me and walked over to my yard.

  “Hey! My grandma lives next door.” She gestured behind her. “She told me that she had new neighbors. I’m Shelby.”

  I sat up in my chair. “I’m Holly.”

  “I’ve got to go help my grandma with something. When I get done, you wanna go cruise Chesnee with me?”

  “Um…?” I couldn’t think of a reason not to. “I guess. Sure.”

  “I’ll be done in a few.”

  She was only inside about fifteen minutes. When she came out, I walked over and got in her car.

  I fastened my seatbelt and asked, “So what’s there to do in Chesnee?”

  “Not much. People drive up and down the one main street, honk, get out, and talk, text— nothing too exciting.”

  I’d already been up and down the one street. I couldn’t think of a reason to do it over and over, but I didn’t want to offend her by pointing that out. “I like your car?”

  “Thanks.” Shelby backed out of my driveway. “My Mimi and Papa gave me the money for the down payment, but I make the monthly payments and pay for the insuran
ce myself.”

  “How do you do that? Pay for your own car?” I didn’t know anyone back in Charleston, my age who made their car payments.

  “I work down at the Bantam Chef after school. I’m saving up for when I graduate. I can’t wait to get out of this place.”

  Maybe she and I could be good friends. All I wanted was to go back to Charleston. Not to see any certain person, but to me, it would always be the most beautiful city on the planet. I guess because it was my home. “I used to have a car, but we had to sell it.” I just needed to tell someone the whole truth. “My dad lost his job, and we struggled for a while. We sold a lot of our nice things until we gave up our house and moved here to my grandma’s old place.”

  “I had horses when I lived in Forest City,” she glanced at me as she turned to head for town. “They belong to my Mimi and Papa. We used to live right next door to my dad’s folks. I miss them and riding.”

  “So you’re not from Chesnee either.”

  “No way. We moved here last year after my dad…left. The only thing decent about this place is the cosmetology program at school.” She giggled. “Well that and Brad, my boyfriend.”

  “So that’s why I haven’t seen you at school, you go to the vocational center. Do you like it?”

  “I love it,” Shelby said, her brownish eyes grew wider as she smiled. “I had no idea what I wanted to do before. We’d just moved to Chesnee. I walked in, bummed to be there, you know?” She glanced at me as though she knew I could relate. “I stood by the water fountain dreading the presentation by the people from Swofford Vocational Center. I got some water then walked in and saw Ms. West, the cosmetology instructor. As soon as she explained the program, I knew that was what I wanted to do.”

  I looked out the window. “I still have no clue what I want to major in or do with my life. You’re lucky.”

  Shelby shrugged. “I’m not living with my mom one second longer than I have to, so I need to be able to step out into some kind of career as soon as I graduate. I’ve never even hung a picture or poster in my room at home. I live for the day when I get to leave.”

  We pulled into Chesnee where a million cars inched along the main street. “What in the world?” I looked over at Shelby. “I know there aren’t this many teenagers in Chesnee.”

  “No. The mall banned cruising along with some other towns. Now they all come here.”

  It took us forever to circle the two miles of the city. Boys and girls sat on their hoods along the sides of the road too. Shelby was texting as we inched through Chesnee.

  “I’m going to park and go talk to someone for a minute. I’ll be back in a few.”

  “That’s fine,” I shrugged.

  She parked in the high school’s parking lot and ran over to a large pickup truck. I sat in the car for a while, watching the bumper-to-bumper chaos. When it got a little warm, I stepped out to lean against the car. A guy yelled my way from the street, but I pretended not to hear him and looked toward the school. Theo was there, leaning against the brick watching the street and me.

  I glanced over to Shelby. She was now pressed up against the truck, being kissed by a boy. Someone from the street yelled, “Get a room!” But they didn’t seem to hear or care.

  I walked over to Theo, who’d been smart enough to stay in the shade of the covered walkway.

  “Are you stalking me?” He took a moment to think and then said, “I did say that right didn’t I? That is what people say when someone keeps showing up where they are…right?” He smiled so I knew he was kidding.

  “No, I’m not stalking you. I’m here with her.” I pointed over my shoulder to Shelby who was still occupied with her boyfriend.

  Theo’s brow’s raised as he looked her way. “I see a lot of that here at the school. I think it’s more popular than football.”

  I laughed. “So, what are you doing here?”

  “Hanging out, like everyone else.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t think of anything profound to say.

  Theo kept looking at me. “Have I been doing anything noticeable?”

  My brows furrowed. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

  “You keep noticing me. As far as I can tell I’m not doing anything new or different than I’ve always done.” He glanced around nervous as if to make sure no one was listening.

  “I didn’t do anything that I can think of to cause you to notice me. No one ever notices me painting at the fish camp, but you did. And now, you’re over here talking to me. I’m out here every weekend and no one notices me or talks to me.” He glanced around again. “I need to make sure that I’m not doing anything to make you notice me.”

  I suddenly felt like I was intruding. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” I turned to go back to Shelby’s car.

  “No! Come back.”I turned and saw he was pleading with his eyes. “I like you here…talking to me. I just…” He looked around again. “I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t done anything to make you notice me.”

  “Holly!” I heard called from behind. I turned to see Shelby by her car.

  I didn’t know how to respond to him, so I was happy to excuse myself. “I guess she’s ready to go. I’ll see you Monday.”

  He nodded and smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  I walked back to the car. Shelby had her hand on the driver’s door. “What were you doing over there?”

  “I was talking to Theo.” I pointed back to the school where he stood.

  “Sorry I interrupted. I didn’t see him.”

  “No big deal. We were just talking. I’m guessing that was Brad.”

  She grinned at me. “Yes it was, but if you don’t mind, don’t mention him to anyone. My grandma would tell my mom, and she doesn’t approve.”

  “Ok.”

  We cruised a little longer before Shelby drove me home. “Would you like a ride to school on Monday?” She asked as I was getting out of the car.

  “Sure, thanks.” Things were looking up for me. I had a ride to school and a cute guy who liked talking to me. Maybe Chesnee wasn’t going to be so bad.

  Chapter 6

  Sunday night I stayed up late reading the whole play online. It wasn’t the kind of play that entertained you. It was more like one that made you think.

  I poured myself a cup of coffee when I came out of my room and added tons of cream and sugar and a drop of my mom’s hazelnut syrup.

  Mom watched me sit down at my spot with the giant coffee mug.

  “Since when did you start drinking coffee?”

  “Since I got my license and discovered that there was a Starbucks on every corner.” I sipped my coffee and took a bite of my toast. “I used to go through the drive thru before school after a long night of studying.” I pulled out my monologue to look over it a little more.

  Dad walked into the kitchen. “I have to get to work early today so hurry up and eat.”

  “Oh, I’m riding with Shelby. Her grandmother lives next door. I met her yesterday. She’s going to pick me up on her way to school.

  Mom looked over at me. “Shelby?” Mom looked out the window at the house next door. “That must be Maggie’s daughter.” She looked at me. “Just be careful around her.”

  I didn’t even bother to look up from my script. “I’ll do my best not to embarrass you. I’ll remember who I am…yadda yadda yadda.”

  “No, Sweetie. This isn’t about embarrassing us. Don’t say anything about her dad being in prison.” Mom got up and poured herself another cup of coffee.

  “Prison? She told me that her dad left. Are you sure you’re talking about the same person?”

  “Maggie used to live next door to me growing up. She and I were friends, but then she married right out of high school. The guy was into drugs and had all kinds of problems. Last I heard, he was in prison. There was a rumor that he nearly beat Maggie to death.”

  Dad took a seat at the table. “I had no idea.”

  “Poor Maggie,” Mom shook her head. />
  Then mom turned her attention to me. “Just try not to look down on Shelby for all of that. It’s not her fault.” She said the words, but her tone made it clear she looked down on them.

  I put down my coffee mid-sip. “Why would I look down on her? She’s not her dad.” A horn honked outside. I jumped up from the table and grabbed my book bag.

  “Shelby’s here. I gotta run.”

  I ran down the back steps and out onto the gravel, hearing it crunch as my feet made indentions in the driveway. I pulled open the door to Shelby’s car and sat down letting out a loud sigh.

  Shelby’s eyebrows creased. “You didn’t have to run. We’re not late.”

  “My mom…she…” I didn’t want to get into it. “She was getting on my nerves.”

  “Oh, I can totally relate,” she said rolling her eyes then looking back at the road. “If my mom does something, I want to do the opposite. I plan to do everything in my power to make sure I don’t end up like her.” Shelby glanced at me, “You know?”

  “I feel the same way.”

  Shelby looked in the rearview mirror and pushed her multi- colored blonde hair behind her ear. “I get along great with my dad. I miss him.”

  I was surprised to hear that. “Do you get to see him often?” I didn’t want to let on that I knew where he was.

  “Once in a while. Not often enough. It’s a long story. If Mom hadn’t made him so mad…I don’t want to think about it right now. Can we drop it?”

  “Sure. Thanks for the ride.”

  “No problem.” We were at school and parked pretty quickly. Shelby got out and headed for the bus for the vocational campus while I walked to homeroom.

  ***

  I pulled out my monologue as I walked out of third-period for one last look before drama. I was so nervous that my hands shook. My throat felt dry too. I reached for my water bottle only to realize I hadn’t packed one. I hated to use water fountains. I couldn’t help but think of the germs left behind, but the dry sandpaper feel of my tongue didn’t leave me with much choice.