Chaste

by Lydia Michaels

  His blood ran cold. “Are you late?”

  She shrugged and stepped back. “I won’t know for another week or so. If you were so concerned maybe you should have kept it in your pants.” Her blond ponytail whipped into the air as she pivoted and marched out of the cafe.

  The whispers of onlookers slowly climbed to the ordinary roar of the lunchroom. Girls watched him and whispered behind the backs of their hands as guys smirked and nodded his way. He glanced around, knowing the back of his neck was bright red, and stilled when his gaze collided with Lauren’s. Those brown eyes were no longer big and soft. Her face was pale and she quickly stood, carrying off her tray and leaving the room without notice.

  A shadow fell over the table and he turned to find Finn standing there. “Wanna get out of here?”

  Kelly swallowed. “Yeah.”

  His brother nodded and Kelly followed him out of the cafeteria and right to Finn’s pickup. They didn’t talk until they drove some distance and wound up at the hunting cabin on the outskirts of their property.

  “Come on. Dad and Uncle Paul were here last week fixing the water heater. Chances are there’s probably beer left over.”

  Kelly nodded and followed Finn inside. His brother was right. The old fridge was stocked with bottles. Kelly made to toss one to Finn but paused when his brother waved him away. “One of us has to drive home.”

  Nodding, he cracked open the beer and took a long swig.

  “Wanna tell me what’s going on, Kelly?”

  “Not really, but I will. I had sex with Rachel Blackwell.”

  “You did?”

  Finn’s expression gave away quite a bit about his brother’s long-term relationship with Erin. “You’ve done it, right, Finn?”

  His brother flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Not yet, but Erin says we will soon.”

  “Oh.” It was odd, lapping his older brother in such a rite of passage.

  “What’s it like?”

  Kelly smirked and peeked up at Finn. “It gets better the more you do it.”

  “You slept with her twice?”

  “Not exactly.” He fidgeted and took another sip of beer. “I slept with Lauren Sweeny too.”

  “Jesus, Kelly!”

  “I know!” He drew in a frustrated breath. In a smaller voice, he said, “I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. It just happened. I didn’t plan it. As a matter of fact I planned to not do it with anyone again for a while, but then Lauren whipped out her boobs and all common sense left.”

  “Kelly, you gotta slow down.”

  His fingers fisted through his hair and he tugged. “I know. I feel like crap. Mum’s mad at me. Dad’s worried I’m gonna make him a grandfather—”

  “Mum and Dad know?”

  “Yeah. She actually put a huge box of rubbers in my drawer. But she’s pissed. And worst of all, I hurt Rachel and Lauren. They’re sort of friends, you know? I don’t want to be an asshole.”

  “Then don’t be. Kelly, you’re responsible for you. Everything has a consequence. See how we’re sitting here now? Well, tomorrow we’re gonna get suspended for skipping. I knew that before I asked if you wanted to bail. Sometimes the consequence is worth it and sometimes it’s not. You have to think ahead.”

  “When you and Erin do it, you let me know if you can think of anything else. It’s hard to say no when it’s right in front of you.”

  “I’m aware. We say no for a reason.”

  “What? Why? You guys have been together since eighth grade.”

  “Because we aren’t sure if we want to wait.”

  “Wait for what? Finn, you live once. Do. It.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “We probably will soon. Like I said, it’s hard to say no, but Erin’s never been one to easily say yes.”

  Yeah, his brother’s girlfriend was cute, but sort of mean. Kelly sighed and slouched on the futon. “You’re probably right to hold off. You know Rachel said something about being late.”

  “Is she?”

  Kelly shrugged, hiding his panic with indifference. “We used protection. She said she’s not due for another couple weeks.”

  “Good luck relaxing ‘til then.”

  “I know. I wasn’t really stressed, but now I sort of am. It doesn’t help that she hates my guts now either.”

  “You guys weren’t dating.”

  “I know, but maybe she thought having sex changed things. We didn’t talk about it or anything, but girls are weird about stuff like that.”

  “And what about Lauren?”

  “I don’t think she’ll be showing me her boobs again anytime soon.”

  Finn nodded and a contemplative silence filled the minutes ticking by. He should be in gym class right now—

  “Were they nice?”

  “What?”

  “Lauren’s boobs. Were they nice?”

  Kelly laughed. No matter how perfect Finn tried to be, he was still a guy and a McCullough at that. “Yeah. They were real nice.”

  They didn’t leave the cabin until after dark. Kelly convinced Finn to have a few drinks and they both needed to sober up some before either one of them could drive or face their parents. As predicted, they were both suspended for ditching school and, per McCullough law, they were both punished with cleaning the toilets at his aunt’s bar and extra chores around the house.

  In the weeks that followed Kelly steered clear of all females. Rachel continued to hate him from afar and luckily informed him she’d had her period. Lauren never smiled his way again. But as school wound down and summer break took shape, more parties and free time came.

  It was Fourth of July, the annual community picnic, when he next screwed up. Her name was Shawna and she did things to him he never knew a guy could experience. He was pretty sure she was responsible for most of the fireworks that night.

  After Shawna came Ella and after Ella came Trish. He’d learned a valuable lesson from Rachel and never promised anything in return. No matter who he was hooking up with, they always understood he wasn’t into long term.

  Sex was a funny thing at that age. It made a guy popular with all the cliques. The jocks wanted him to come to their parties. The preppy kids gave him a little more respect. And the girls… it didn’t matter what club they belonged to. Even the dorky girls batted their eyes at him.

  By the end of sophomore year, he was like Moses parting the Red Sea when he walked down the halls. People stepped aside for him, laughed at all of his jokes, and inquired where he’d be each weekend as though it determined where the current hot spot was. He liked it. He liked it a lot.

  His mum seemed to get over her disappointment and accept that her sons were growing up. Kelly was no longer the only one with condoms in his sock drawer. When a woman had five sons it was only practical to accept that boys would be boys.

  He was always careful and he never took what wasn’t offered. He didn’t have to work for it. Not until he met Lexi.

  Lexi was a senior and she was hot as hell. Her entire being seemed to throb with sexuality. From her wavy red hair to her long ass legs, she was everything a teenage boy’s fantasies were made of. She didn’t look like she belonged in high school. She looked like she belonged in a centerfold. The night she approached him at a party something changed in Kelly.

  Usually, he called the shots, but not this time. She walked up to him, cutting a path right through the swarm of underage drinkers swaying with their plastic cups and didn’t stop until she was staring him right in the eye.

  “Wanna come upstairs?” Her voice was like velvet, smooth and sultry.

  Kelly sipped his beer and placed the empty cup on the cluttered table. When he stood, she didn’t wait for confirmation. With the confidence of a queen, she marched up the steps, never looking back to see if he followed.

  It was the first time he’d ever had sex in an actual bed. And like everything else Lexi, there was nothing juvenile about the way she took a man. She seduced him, made love to him, took him to places he’d nev
er dreamed.

  Afterward, they lay in the bed naked and talked until the party broke up. He was stunned at how potent she was, how experienced and knowing she seemed. By the time he got home that night he knew something was different. There was no afterglow, only anticipation to see her again.

  The following Monday he’d found her in the hall by her locker. Without giving it much thought, he leaned in and kissed her.

  She pulled back and frowned at him. “What are you doing?”

  He laughed nervously. “What do you mean? I’m kissing you.”

  She glanced around anxiously. “Well…don’t.”

  His brow tightened. “What do you mean?”

  She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a semi-empty stairwell. “Kelly, the other night was fun, but that’s all it was.”

  “Nothing wrong with having fun twice.”

  She laughed nervously. “I don’t think that’s smart.”

  “Why? You enjoyed yourself.”

  “Yeah, I did. But I’m graduating soon and in August I’m off to Penn State. There’s no point in getting mixed up with a guy like you when there isn’t a chance we’ll stay together.”

  He drew back. “What do you mean a guy like me?”

  Her mouth opened as she seemed to struggle for an explanation. “Come on, Kelly. Everyone in this school has your number. You’re that guy.”

  “What the hell’s that mean?”

  “It means you were born in Center County and you’re gonna die in Center County. High school will always be your glory days. I mean, what’s your average? Have you even applied for colleges? You’re the guy everyone loves. The bad boy who can show a girl a good time. You’re not someone’s future.”

  Blanking his expression, he shoved back the sharp cut of her words. He hadn’t applied to college because he’d bombed his SATs and his grades weren’t enough to carry his ass. He had no idea what would happen to him after high school, but feared she was right. What if this part of his life was as good as it got? He’d eventually get older, fatter, and lazier.

  “Look,” she said, as the bell rang. “You’re a nice guy, but I can’t wait for someone while I’m at college making a future and he’s sitting at home reliving his glory days, wishing he could turn back the clock. There’s nothing wrong with who you are. People like you and you’re really funny, but you’re not the guy for me. I gotta go. I’m gonna be late.”

  She left him there as the halls emptied and quieted. He had to be somewhere, but for the life of him, couldn’t think of one good reason to show up. Why bother if he was only ever going to be some has-been in some shitty town?

  Turning, he took the stairs at a sprint. His feet didn’t stop until he was at his truck. His books were tossed carelessly inside and he peeled out of the parking lot. He wasn’t sure where he was driving, but pulled over when he found an empty section of road. His fingers gripped the wheel as he breathed hard through his teeth.

  She hadn’t even given him a chance. How many other people saw him as just some nobody holding claim to the current definition of cool that would be outdated tomorrow? Reaching in his pocket he thumbed through hundreds of phone numbers. There was no doubt he’d been around.

  With each contact came a memory. After Rachel and Lauren, he’d learned to make it perfectly clear he was good for a night and nothing more, but after a while that bit of information seemed assumed. It was like that was all he was really wanted for, nothing more.

  Everyone wanted a piece of him, but none of the girls ever asked him out or showed any interest in anything long term. Even Rachel was involved with some college guy and Lauren was over a year deep with the class president. It was as though he’d literally screwed over all the good girls. But they were fine with that. They’d gotten exactly what they wanted—a good time—which was pretty much all he was worth.

  After sitting on the side of the road for some time, he finally looked around. He was in his Aunt Colleen’s neck of the woods, close to her bar, O’Malley’s. He glanced at the clock. It was still early. She was probably just opening up. Throwing his truck in drive, he headed that way.

  When he reached the pub, the lot was empty aside from his aunt’s car. He parked in the back and used the kitchen entrance. His aunt came into the kitchen, appearing startled, with an empty pitcher in her hand. “Kelly love, what are you doing here? I was about to brain you like a burglar.”

  “Sorry, Aunt Col.”

  She tipped her head to the side. “Why aren’t you in school? Is everything all right?”

  He shrugged.

  She placed the pitcher on the large cook counter and said, “Come along. I’ll get you a soda and you can tell me what’s going on in my favorite nephew’s life.”

  “You can get shot for making a comment like that. You have other nephews.”

  “You won’t tell, and if you do I’ll deny it.”

  He smiled and followed her to the bar. They used the pub for family parties, but other than that none of the younger McCulloughs were allowed to hang out there. “When do the customers start showing up?”

  “The regulars will be shuffling in shortly. Tell me what’s going on.” She placed a soda on a napkin and came around the bar to sit beside him.

  “I had a bit of a wakeup call this morning.”

  “Did something bad happen? Were you in an accident?”

  “No, nothing so dramatic. It’s about a girl.”

  “From what my kids tell me, you have quite a few female admirers, Kelly.”

  “Yeah. Well, things sort of spun out of control.”

  His aunt pinched his cheek. “Breakin’ hearts left and right, I bet.” She hummed happily. “Such a wee rogue, you are.”

  He arched a brow. “Nothin’ wee about me, Aunt Col. I’m a McCullough after all.”

  Her hand slapped his cheek as she giggled. “Smartass.”

  They laughed for a moment and then he sobered. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  “You’re seventeen, love. What’s there to know? Seems to me you’re doing just fine.”

  “I am. For now. But what happens next year when I graduate? Everyone thinks I’m something great, but soon they’ll all go off to college and become doctors and other important things and I’ll still be here, only there will be nothing impressive about me then.”

  “You’ll always be impressive, Kelly. There’s something special in you. You just have to find it yourself. A lassie can try to show you how great you are, but unless you’re ready to open your eyes and see what you have to offer in this world, you’ll never believe it’s in you.”

  “I don’t want to be a logger,” he blurted.

  “So don’t.”

  “But what else is there?”

  “Well, what do you fancy? What are you good at?”

  “Nothing that means anything.”

  She tsked. “That’s not true. You have a wonderful sense of humor, a big heart, you’re loyal, and people feel special when you look at them. Not everyone can do that to others.”

  “Yeah, but where does that get me as far as a future?”

  “You need a job that requires people skills, Kelly, because you’re a people person.”

  “What sort of job’s that? I can’t get into a decent college and, honestly, I have no desire to continue with school after graduation. I’ve never been good at it.”

  “Well, we all can’t be like your sister, Sheilagh. The world is an extraordinary place because ordinary people keep coming, Kelly. If there were only lawyers, doctors, and teachers, who would do the plumbing? Who would fix the electric when it went out? Who would plow the roads when the blizzards come so the surgeons can make it to the hospitals to save lives?”

  “Are you suggesting I become a plumber or buy a snow plow?”

  “No, I’m suggesting you not worry about being successful, but worry about being happy. Find something that makes you happy and success will come easily enough.”

  “All my friends are going off to c
ollege. Luke’s gone. Bray’s leaving. Colin’s been gone. We all know Sheilagh’s on her way.”

  “No one said you couldn’t join them, Kelly. There’s always a way. What about your art?”

  He shook his head. “That’s private. It’s something that’s mine. I don’t share it and there’s no way I can make a career out of it.”

  “I think you need to get out of your fishbowl. Living up on that mountain, you’re only surrounded by McCulloughs. Then you head off to school and see everyone following the tide. It’s okay to move on without them before they leave you behind.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She spread out her fingers over the bar. “You see these hands? I remember when they were young and beautiful. I don’t remember them getting freckled with age or wrinkled by time. I just looked down one day and there they were, old and ugly.

  “I’ve been working in this bar since Paul and I rented the apartment upstairs right after we got married. We couldn’t afford a house until Italian Mary came to live with us and helped us with the down payment. It was a struggle and everyone thought we were crazy, but we loved the atmosphere, and over time O’Malley’s became the place to be.

  “We could afford several houses now and I think we’re going to buy one in Outer Banks soon for summer vacations. The problem is, this damn bar demands so much of my time I can’t take off for weeks at a time. The locals would rally. Sooner or later I’ll need to sell it.”

  “You can’t sell the bar. We haven’t even had a chance to enjoy it.”

  She smiled. “I know, love. So my only other option is to find someone to run it for me. They’d have to be someone easygoing, trustworthy, and good with people.” She gave him a sidelong glance.

  Kelly’s expression flattened. “Me?”

  “Why not? You could do it, Kelly. You could even move upstairs eventually, if you fixed it up a bit.”

  “How…how would that work?”

  “Well, you wouldn’t be able to serve until you were eighteen, but if you wanted to learn the ropes you could start out bussing tables. I could teach you the things I don’t normally show the other employees, like how I manage the suppliers and the bookkeeping. Once you’re an adult, I’ll teach you how to tend bar. Give it a year after you graduate. Let this be your job and see how you like it. If you like it and you’re interested in taking over, we’ll talk about getting your name on the mortgage.”