Chaste

by Lydia Michaels

  When her voicemail picked up he shut his eyes. It was the only privacy he could afford at the moment. “Ashlynn, baby…” his voice was hoarse and sounded nothing like his own. “I’m at the police station. I don’t know when I’ll be able to leave, but as soon as I get out of here I’ll come find you and we’ll talk. I…” There was so much he wanted to say. He needed to hear her voice, know that she was okay, but even that was denied to him. “I’m sorry.”

  He ended the call and placed the phone on the table.

  “I don’t know any attorneys by the name of Ashlynn. Wanna tell me who she is?”

  “No.”

  A few hours later they moved him to a cell and Kelly stared at the ceiling wondering how long it would take for someone to come get him. Sue would have contacted one of his brothers by now. He didn’t regret using his only call on Ashlynn. His only regret was that she didn’t pick up.

  Flashes of her disheveled clothes and white thighs filled his head. How could he have let that happen? He should have gone after her, told Sue to handle the bar. None of this would have happened if he had been the man Ashlynn needed. He could have protected her.

  The sound of a throat clearing drew his attention. Kelly turned and saw Colin standing outside the door to the cell. “Thank fuck.”

  “I’d say you’d be wanting to thank God instead. What the hell happened, Kelly?”

  He stood and went to the door. “Are they letting me leave?”

  “For now. I don’t know what happens after that. You nearly killed that man. Who was he?”

  “No one.”

  His eldest brother frowned. “Bullshit.”

  “I need to get out of here, Colin. Like right now.”

  “They’re working on it.” His brother glanced at his hands, his gaze traveling over his face. “Did the other guy even hit you?”

  “No.”

  His brows lifted. “You just attacked a man?”

  “Pretty much.”

  Colin opened his mouth, but an officer cut him off. “McCullough, you’re free to go.”

  The door opened and Kelly marched past his brother, collected his belongings, and left the station. Colin followed him to the truck and waited before unlocking the door.

  “Kelly—”

  He held up a bloated hand. “I can’t, Colin. I can’t talk about it. Not yet. Just know that, if in my shoes, you would have done the same thing.”

  His brother seemed to accept that and nodded. The truck unlocked and they both climbed in. “Want me to take you home?”

  “No. I need my car. Can you take me to the pub?”

  He nodded and drove them back to O’Malley’s. The clock on the dash proclaimed it was almost four in the morning. The lot of the pub was vacant aside from his truck and what he assumed was Evan’s car. Oklahoma plates. He withdrew his cell and dialed the towing company he had in his contacts. The car would be gone first thing in the morning.

  Colin parked and Kelly climbed out. He withdrew his keys from the bag of crap the police had left him with and jumped into the bed of his truck. Colin followed, a look of concern on his face. Kelly unlocked the toolbox in the bed and withdrew his bat.

  “Kelly?” His brother’s warning was laced with concern.

  He jumped down and marched over to Evan’s car. “Batter up, motherfucker,” he muttered before taking a swing at the headlight.

  “Jesus, Kelly!” The sound of shattering glass filled the air.

  The car alarm echoed in the vacant lot and he swung again, smashing the other headlight. He moved to the back of the car and took out both taillights.

  “Do you want to go back to jail?” Colin shouted.

  He climbed onto the hood and slammed the bat down on the windshield. The glass webbed and collapsed like the skin of rotten fruit. The alarm silenced. Good enough.

  He went to the pub and unlocked the door. Colin followed, clearly concerned for his sanity. After snatching a bottle of whiskey, he went to the back office and flipped on his computer. He rewound the security footage to just before they pulled up and spliced and dumped the frames. He couldn’t bear to see the footage from earlier that night, but knew it might be needed for court. Once all evidence of his bodywork was deleted he shut out the light and locked his office door.

  He took a long swig of whiskey and screwed the cap on tight. Handing Colin the bat, he said, “Do me a favor and hold onto this.”

  Colin only sighed, but took the bat. Everyone knew Colin as the honorable McCullough son. No one would hassle him or suspect he’d be harboring the evidence of a crime. “Kelly, I think you should let me take you home or at least stay here.”

  “Not gonna happen, Colin. I need to go.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I can’t say.” They left the bar and he locked up. Before he climbed into his truck, he turned back to his brother. “Thanks for coming for me, Colin.”

  His brother nodded. “If you need anything else…”

  “I know.” But what he needed was on a small farm five miles away. “I gotta go.”

  “Be careful, Kelly. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  Too late for that. “You got it.”

  * * * *

  When he reached Ashlynn’s, the house was dark and her truck was parked under the elm in the front yard. He climbed out of the truck and raced up the steps only to pause at the last minute. How was he going to face her?

  Whatever she was dealing with, no matter how bad, he’d fix it somehow.

  Some things are unfixable.

  He swallowed and knocked. It took about five minutes for the porch light to flick on. His heart raced as he waited, listening to each slow click of her locks disengaging. When the door opened she held herself in the shadows.

  “Ashlynn.”

  Her eyes were puffy and her hair was a mess. “Hi, Kelly.”

  “Can I come in?”

  She hesitated, then nodded, barely making eye contact.

  Kelly stepped into the dark hall and saw she was in only a flannel button down. He didn’t know how to act. After a woman was assaulted the last thing she probably wanted was a man groping her, but he was a selfish bastard and needed to hold her, comfort her the best he knew how.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered and pulled her into a hug. He was surprised when she relaxed into his hold and didn’t wrench herself away.

  His hand coasted up and down her back and he heard the slightest sniffle. Then her shoulders began to shake. He instinctively lifted her and carried her into the living room. He settled onto the couch, holding her safely on his lap. She wept quietly for several minutes, each tear cutting him deep. All he could do was hold her. There were no promises to make. How could he tell her everything would be okay when it wouldn’t?

  “I’m such an idiot,” she said and he stilled.

  His eyes shut as pain locked around his heart. “Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I let him kiss me.”

  His palm lifted from her back and formed a fist, splitting the cut on his knuckle open again. “That’s because you thought he was someone he clearly wasn’t. He took advantage.”

  She wiped her nose with her sleeve. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner. So damn sorry, Ash.” His gut tightened at what he needed to ask. Fuck. He swallowed and almost vomited. Everything was so fucked. “Do you need me to take you to the hospital?”

  Another sniffle. “No.”

  “Are you sure? You may need a doctor. I’m not insisting you go, but if you want to press charges, it may be in your best interest to go.”

  “I’m pressing charges. There’s no way I’m letting you go to jail for beating him up.”

  That might not be avoidable. “You don’t owe me anything.”

  She pulled back and looked at him with watery, red-rimmed eyes. She wasn’t wearing her glasses. “Kelly, if you hadn’t shown up and stopped him, he would hav
e raped me.”

  His heart stuttered and a cold sweat covered his skin. “Would have?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t know what he was capable of. We were kissing and then he was suddenly pulling off my clothes. I’ve never been so terrified.”

  He couldn’t breathe. Very slowly, so there would be no misunderstanding, he looked into her eyes and said, “Ashlynn, he didn’t rape you?”

  “No. That’s what I’m saying. You saved me.”

  The relief tunneling through him was enough to make him motion sick. It seemed to slam into him and flip his entire world on end. He hugged her tight then pulled back. “Can you tell me what happened? I need to know.”

  She swallowed and nodded tightly. “I left. I was upset, because…well…you know.” God, he was a piece of shit. “When I got to my truck I was crying and then I saw him. We talked. He was being really nice. I didn’t feel nervous at all. He even helped me clean my glasses. Then we were…kissing.”

  His stomach knotted. A shaky breath ripped from her chest and she turned away. Kelly shut his eyes. She’d seen him with a woman. He’d have to listen in order to understand. But seeing it was always worse.

  His hand rubbed over her arm. “Shh…it’s okay. Take your time. You lived it. I can listen. You did nothing wrong. Don’t let yourself believe otherwise.”

  She nodded. “We…we were kissing and then…he got a little grabby. I tried to politely put some space between us, but he kept coming back for more and I…I sort of let him keep kissing me. I wasn’t thinking clearly and I…Oh, God….then he got too grabby and I slapped him.”

  “You hit him?”

  “Yes, but that was a mistake.”

  “It’s never a mistake to defend yourself, Ashlynn. Never.”

  Her face crumpled as she fought back a sob. “That was when he got really rough. He tore my panties and held down my arms. I’m not sure what happened. I know I kicked him pretty hard. I was so scared and then he was gone and you were there.”

  His head fell back as he tried to accept the fact that he’d gotten there in time. Somehow it was cold comfort. She should have never been put in that predicament. He wasn’t sure there was a lower feeling than the one choking him now.

  He was wrong. Ashlynn wiped her nose and whispered, “He saw us at the summer celebration by your truck. It was like seeing me with you made him entitled to touch me. I feel sick.”

  He cursed, wanting to pull her close again, but too disgusted with himself to touch her. No more games. Swallowing back his self-loathing, he said, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” All of this could have been avoided if he’d never interfered in her life. However, this could have been the end result the night of the dance had he not interfered. His head was so twisted with possible scenarios.

  “What’s going to happen to you?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad you’re okay. God, Ash, I was so scared he… After all this time, everything you’ve held onto, the fact that some animal could’ve just taken everything from you in a matter of seconds…”

  She silently cried and he held her close. After a while, she said, “I think I’m done with dating.”

  He nodded. She couldn’t keep going out with strangers. The world was filled with fucked up nutbags and she was simply too innocent for all that. There was nothing he could offer her. He knew how lonely it was. He was lonely too.

  “I’m sorry I called you a gigolo.”

  He scoffed. “Please don’t apologize to me. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I’m nothing.”

  “Kelly, you are so much more than nothing.”

  Right. “Shh. Just let me hold you for a while.”

  Ashlynn slowly fell asleep in his arms. There was no rest for Kelly. His family would want answers tomorrow. So would the cops. He didn’t know what he was going to tell everyone. The ball was in Ashlynn’s court. He wouldn’t force her to confess what happened if she didn’t want others to know.

  He thought about the asshole lying in ICU. If he died, Kelly was fucked, yet he still wanted him dead. He’d never been in a fight like that before. Sure, he had brothers and they’d thrown some punches over the years, but Kelly was a lover not a fighter. That man was built like a tree and Kelly was beyond shocked he’d done so much damage in the span of a few minutes.

  His body was crashing from the adrenaline and he shook. Ashlynn lay sleeping on his lap, her hands curled at her chest, and her soft blond hair tickling his neck at his shoulder. If he went to jail who would look after her?

  Being a man, he never thought much about women’s issues. In the light of her situation, it suddenly occurred to him that the justice department was atrociously flawed. He wasn’t sure where the knowledge had come from, but he knew the penalty for assaulting a man was way worse than the penalty for rape or attempted rape. How was that just?

  Not everyone was like Ashlynn. She was old fashioned. That should count for something. If she had been a teen the consequence for attempting to rape her would be steep. Teens were innocent. Ashlynn was innocent too, but the courts wouldn’t see her that way. They’d only see a woman who was in her twenties and at a bar. Even if she testified on his behalf it wouldn’t negate the fact that he’d almost killed a man.

  When morning came, he carefully tucked Ashlynn in on the couch with a blanket. In her medicine cabinet he found some first aid items and cleaned up his hand. In her kitchen was a notepad with a list for the market scribbled on it. He turned the page and left her a note.

  Ash,

  Last night showed us both some things I don’t think either of us are ready to face. I know you want to help, but if you choose to keep this to yourself I completely understand. Everything will work out. Don’t worry about me.

  I can only say, I have no regrets. Getting to know you has been…incredible. But you’re right. I can’t keep interfering. I know you need time, but some day you’ll find Mr. Right. I promise, when you do, I won’t interfere. I only want you to be happy.

  You know you can always come to me with anything and I’ll be there. You’re special. You deserve a special person who knows what it is to have you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that man—more sorry than you’ll probably ever realize.

  Kelly

  When Kelly stepped into his kitchen later that morning his father was waiting for him. He nodded a greeting and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Where’s Mum?”

  “Church. With your sister.”

  “No doubt praying for my rotten soul.” Kelly slid into a seat at the table.

  His father eyed him patiently. “What happened, Kelly?”

  He shut his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I got in a fight and nearly killed a man.”

  “Do we need to find a lawyer?”

  Kelly’s gut twisted. This was another inconvenience, another black mark on the McCullough name put there by him. His eyes softened as he looked at his father who had always been there for him. “I think so. I’m sorry, Dad.”

  His father nodded. “I’ll make some calls.” He stood and walked his mug to the sink. Before he left he pressed his meaty hand into Kelly’s shoulder. “Get some sleep, son.”

  Kelly showered, took a few pills for the swelling in his hand, and fell into bed, but sleep didn’t come. He thought of Ashlynn, wondered what she was doing, worried she’d found his note.

  He’d drifted off sometime around noon and awoke a while later to a knock at his door. “Yeah?”

  His brother Luke stepped in. “Hey.”

  Kelly sat up as his brother came in, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed, but didn’t say anything.

  “What’s up?” Kelly asked.

  Luke gripped the back of his neck. “Tristan has a friend at the police department.”

  “Thanks, but I think it’s gonna take a little more than a friend of a friend of a friend to get me out of this clusterfuck.”

  His brother shook his head. “Rumors are going aroun
d.”

  Great. “About?”

  “That guy…he’s wanted.”

  Kelly frowned. “You’re sure?”

  Luke nodded. “Apparently he has bench warrants in six other states. Now that they have him they aren’t letting him go. He’s being detained at the hospital.”

  That was good, but it wouldn’t negate everything Kelly had to answer for. “Maybe we can be cell mates.”

  Luke sighed and Kelly knew he was attempting to say something that wasn’t easy. “The other rumors are that there was a girl involved, someone who was at the bar. I think of Sheilagh and I think of what you did to that guy, and I think I know what would make you do it. If that’s the case, Kel, you need to tell the cops.”

  He lowered his head. “I’m not involving anyone who doesn’t want to be involved. It is what it is.”

  “But this guy has to press charges. Maybe if he knows the girl is willing to talk—and in the face of all the other warrants he’s up against—he’ll drop his charges against you.”

  “He’s in ICU, Luke. He’s going to want his medical bills paid. I don’t think what you’re saying is enough for him to let it go.”

  His brother met his gaze. “Tristan’s friend told him this guy’s up against some pretty bad shit, like close to doing twenty-years time, because he’s a repeat offender. I think he told Tristan this intentionally, because he knows he’s friends with our family. You should think about it. Maybe pay that guy a visit.”

  “If I go near him I’ll pull his plug and finish him.”

  Luke stood. “No, you won’t. You’ll do the right thing.”

  After Luke left, Kelly didn’t know what to think. He texted Sue and told her that the bar was closed until Monday. She texted back a shitload of questions he didn’t have the answers for, so he ignored her.

  Around five o’clock he called Colin. “You got a minute?”

  “I have several,” his brother said.

  “I need…I need someone to come with me to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Center County Hospital.”