Chaste

by Lydia Michaels

  She’d seen that with Maureen alone. The whole situation was ridiculous. It was just supposed to be dinner. Kelly didn’t get shaken up about much, but he was certainly dreading this. “What do you want to do?” she asked.

  He grabbed both her hands and squeezed. “I wanna run. You agreed to be my wife. I don’t want the lot of them messing it up. Not when I’m this close to heaven. Run with me, Ashlynn.”

  “Run where? It’s pouring.”

  “Who cares? Let’s go, the two of us, where no one in the world can find us.”

  The idea of hiding away from the world with Kelly —from the mayhem unleashing in the kitchen—sounded magical. Her body pulsed with curious excitement. “Okay.”

  He smiled and kissed her. The kiss became more than she’d expected in the face of such urgency, and her stomach flipped with anticipation. Someone called their names and he broke the kiss. “We have to go now. It’s gonna be wet out there. On the count of three. One. Two—”

  “Three!” She ran out the door. The second she left the awning of the porch rain pelted her, soaking right through her clothing. Thunder rolled and the sky webbed with lightning. A strobe of headlights came through the trees as another car arrived followed by another and another.

  “Come on!” Kelly snatched her slick hand and they jumped off the second to last step. She raced him to the truck and whipped the door open. It was loud inside the cab under the pounding rain.

  Kelly started the truck and hightailed it out of there like the hounds of hell were on him. Her heart raced. What would they say when they realized they’d left? She worried how this would portray them to the others, but Kelly seemed only focused on their escape.

  Breathing fast, she swept a wet snarl of hair off her forehead and mussed her damp strands with her fingers, sending dripping spikes every which way. Buffing the specks of water from her glasses she asked, “Where are we going?”

  “Where they won’t find us.”

  He didn’t expect the relatives to actually come looking for them, did he? The truck raced through town, wipers squeaking against the glass as they worked to keep up with the downpour. When he pulled into the pub parking lot she frowned. “Kelly—”

  “Don’t worry. We’re not going to the bar.”

  The truck whipped around back and parked in the shadows along a fence she never noticed before. He shut off the truck and took her hand. “Follow me.”

  Sliding out his side of the truck, she raced through the rain, unsure what they were doing. There were stairs attached to the back of the building and they took them quickly. At the top Kelly jammed a key in a nondescript black door and pushed it open. Stepping out of the rain, soaked, she swiped her glasses off her face to clean the lenses again.

  She pressed her glasses back on her face and stilled. “What is this place?”

  Kelly shifted, hands in the pockets of the damp jeans that clung to his legs, shoulders hunched in what she could only assume was a show of nerves. “This is my place, or what would have been.”

  It was an apartment. The one he’d told her about. A small kitchenette showed on the far wall, but the framed cabinets lacked doors or dishes. The walls were covered in chalky dust and patches of spackle where the stud nails had shown. Several clear tarps were blanketed over large items she didn’t recognize and tools were scattered here and there.

  Taking a few steps forward, she lifted a tarp tacked to the ceiling and found a sectioned off area with a couch and an end table made of empty pizza boxes. “You stay here?”

  “Only when I’ve had too much to drink or I’m too tired after a shift to drive home.”

  A sick feeling filled her stomach and she stepped back, letting the tarp fall back into place, cutting off her view of the blankets thrown over the couch. “Oh.”

  He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  Never expecting to suffer such a fierce burn of jealousy, she took another retreating step toward the door.

  “Ashlynn?”

  He’d had women up here. If he lived with his parents this would be where he’d take them. The sudden urge to bolt took hold of her, so much stronger than when they were at his parents. “Why did you bring me here?”

  “What do you mean? The rain’s coming down too hard to drive back to your place. What’s the matter?” He crowded her, a look of concern on his face. “Ash, talk to me?”

  “I don’t want to be here.”

  His expression blanked, but not fast enough to hide the hurt of rejection in his eyes. “Why? I’m not going to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t do that—”

  “It’s not that!” God, was that her shrill voice?

  His brow pinched. “Then what?”

  “Kelly… how many women have you had up here?”

  His hand dropped and he stepped back, a hard look on his face. “One.”

  Oh God. Her hands fisted so she wouldn’t touch anything. “Can we go, please?”

  His expression hardened. “Yeah. Let me get a towel. I’m soaked.”

  He disappeared through the tarped off section. She would have been more comfortable waiting outside if not for the rain. Stepping closer to the door, her foot knocked into something and she stilled. Glancing down she saw a large brown file of sorts she’d knocked over. Papers had spilled out.

  “I’m ready.”

  Turning from where she crouched on the floor she saw his eyes widen. He rushed to where she was and stuffed the papers back in the file. She frowned. “What is all that stuff?”

  “Nothing. It’s nothing. Come on. We can go now.”

  She caught his hand. “Kelly—”

  “What?” She flinched at the way he snapped at her. She didn’t understand why he was so angry. He had to recognize she wouldn’t want to be somewhere he’d had another woman.

  “Why are you angry?”

  Tipping the folder back against the wall, he stood. “I’m not. Just disappointed.”

  “In me?”

  He shrugged. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

  She grabbed his wrist. “I don’t understand—”

  “What don’t you understand, Ashlynn? I brought you here because I wanted to show you a part of myself no one else sees and you basically looked repulsed the moment you saw.”

  “How would you feel if I brought you somewhere I took past lovers?”

  “I told you I’ve only brought one woman here.”

  “Yeah, and that’s enough—”

  “The woman is you!”

  “Mm—what?”

  “You’re the only woman who’s been up here. Well, you and my aunt, but I don’t think that’s the problem.”

  She was an idiot. Her shoulders slumped and guilt ratcheted up her discomfort. “I didn’t realize,” she said in a small voice.

  He still looked upset. “I wouldn’t bring you somewhere I had other women, Ashlynn. I’m not an asshole.”

  “Well, I sure am.” She wanted to cry. She was so terrible at all of this.

  “Hey. Let’s start over.” He stepped back and held out his arms. “This is my place, or what would have been.”

  Her mouth twitched. He was drenched to the bone. His shirt clung to every muscle over his chest and stomach. His jeans hung heavy at his hips and his shoes squished with rainwater under his weight. But what she really saw was this incredible man so capable of rolling with the punches and giving people second chances.

  “It’s nice. What’s going to happen to it now?”

  He shrugged. “I have some ideas.”

  She stepped closer to him. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I just thought—”

  “You were jealous.”

  Pressing her lips tight she met his stare. It wasn’t easy to acknowledge, but if anything, she was honest. “Yes.”

  “I get jealous too.”

  She snorted. “It’s not really the same. I have no one in my past for you to be jealous of.”

  “Oh, I beg to differ. I was jealous of Josh, every man t
hat’s ever glanced your way, and even the daiquiri. Hell, I’ve even been jealous of the straw in your diet cola, wishing just once I could feel your lips around me like that.”

  She grinned. “You can’t be jealous of inanimate objects.”

  “Sure you can. Right now I’m envying your shirt, the way it’s clinging to your damp skin. I can see your nipples, by the way.”

  Her eyes widened and she crossed her arms over her chest. He stepped close and caught her wrists, pulling her arms down to her sides. Shivers chased over her skin sending her into a full body tremble under the heat of his gentle touch.

  “Don’t,” he whispered. “You look so beautiful. I could…”

  “What?”

  His head turned, as he seemed to consider his words. “Can I show you something?”

  “Sure.”

  He walked her to the couch and gestured for her to sit. A second later he was in front of her holding the big folder she’d knocked over. He looked anxious. “I’ve never shown this to anyone before.”

  “What is it?”

  He dropped to a knee in front of her and unhooked a leather buckle at the top of the folder. It was large, around two feet wide. He held the cover blocking its contents and she leaned forward hoping to get a peek.

  “Promise not to laugh?”

  Why would she laugh? “I promise.”

  He slid a piece of paper in front of her feet. She gasped. It was a black and white picture of her standing in her garden. “When did you take this?

  “I didn’t take it. I drew it. It’s charcoal.”

  She saw the smudged edges then and realized it was a drawing. Reaching down she lifted it by the corner. It was incredible. The shading was so lifelike. Every line was blended and smoothed to perfection, so realistic she thought of it as a door to some separate plane she could crawl through. “It’s incredible.”

  He placed another at her feet, this one of her face. Her eyes were cast down and her expression sad. She frowned. “When was this?”

  “Last spring. That’s the first one I did of you.”

  “Can I see more?”

  “Sure.”

  She slid off the couch and onto the floor as Kelly pulled out one picture after another. There were some of the woods, beautifully covered in snow, some of bear cubs playing in a creek, but mostly they were of his family.

  “Who’s this?”

  He took the paper from her and grinned. “That’s Morai, my grandmother.”

  “Your mother’s mother?” There were definite resemblances.

  “Yeah.”

  He passed her another one. She recognized the face. “This is Colin’s daughter.”

  “You’ve met Tallulah?”

  “I see her in church. She’s precious.” The picture was absolutely charming. Tallulah’s dark curls coiled loosely around her head as she looked up and smiled around her thumb. “What was she looking at?”

  “Me.”

  Glancing at Kelly she smiled. “Do you want children?”

  “Yes. Someday. I’m a McCullough, so it’s sort of a given. We breed like rabbits.”

  She reached for another, this one of Frank, Kelly’s father. His expression was happy, serene. He was staring at Maureen. There was something so basic about the posing. It was a candid, the two of them simply talking on any ordinary day, yet the love in his eyes was so evident it was almost tangible.

  “How has no one seen these?”

  He shrugged. “It’s all from memory.”

  “Do they know you drew them this way?”

  He shook his head and took the page. “No. No one’s ever seen these. It’s just something I do to pass time.”

  He had such talent. “No one?”

  “Only you.”

  A soft, welcome weight settled in her chest and she smiled at him. There were so many, mostly family. He slid her another one and soon they were surrounded by a slideshow of secret moments in time he’d stolen. His eldest sister pregnant and holding her back as she pushed a baby on a swing, his nephews climbing over Finn, Colin dressed in religious robes praying at an alter, they were all equally breathtaking.

  “How do you do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Remember their faces so precisely.”

  “They’re my family. I know them by heart.”

  Her finger traced the picture he’d first shown her, the one of herself. Did he know her by heart?

  “This one’s my favorite,” he said as he handed her another.

  Drawing in a slow breath, her lips parted. It was her, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, and his hand cupping her jaw, his thumb pressing into her lower lip as though dragging it across her soft flesh. There was something incredibly intimate about the close up, something in her eyes akin to awe or wonder.

  “That was the moment after your first kiss. I remember thinking, my God she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, so innocent, so pure. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the need to protect a woman from myself so badly. I wanted you in a way I never wanted anything before. Desperately. Frighteningly. You took my breath away.”

  She swallowed. “Oh, Kelly…”

  “I drew you a lot when we were apart. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. There’s more.”

  “Every one is its own masterpiece. You make me more beautiful on paper than I am in real life.”

  “No. I don’t embellish. This is how I see you. You’re perfect.”

  She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t even braid hair neatly. He’d captured life and turned it into works of art. “I want to see you do it. Draw something for me.”

  “I’ll draw you. Will you sit for me?”

  She looked down at her damp clothes and imagined her sloppy hair. “I’m a mess.”

  “You’re beautiful. Please.”

  “Okay.” She stood as he gathered the drawings scattered over the floor. “Where should I sit?”

  Closing the portfolio, he walked it to the corner and dragged back a wooden chair that matched the ones in the pub. He placed it a few feet from the wall and carried a lamp over, casting it in a dome of soft golden light.

  He reached for her and she stepped close. “Will... Will you let me draw you nude?”

  Her eyes widened.

  “Never mind,” he quickly said. “That was stupid. Have a seat in the chair and I’ll be right back. My coal’s in the kitchen.”

  * * * *

  Kelly rummaged through his toolbox for his satchel with his art supplies. He was a ball of nerves, but couldn’t stop smiling. Never before had he shown another person his work. Sharing it with Ashlynn was scary. At first he thought he’d made a huge mistake bringing her here, but then he realized it was right.

  She liked his work and that made him feel a certain sort of pride he wasn’t familiar with. Lifting the tarp, he stepped back in the living area and said, “If you have to use the—”

  All words cut off as he stared at the woman before him. Holy. Shit.

  “I didn’t know how you wanted me.”

  Ashlynn. Ashlynn naked. Ashlynn naked and in his place. This was his future wife? No. He wasn’t that lucky.

  Her face flushed and she ducked her head. Swallowing roughly, he tried to form words. Nope. No words. His brain was mush and his cock was hard as a rock. “You’re… naked.”

  She bit her lip. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

  “Yeah, but…” He was a fucking moron. How the hell was he supposed to draw when the woman of his darkest fantasies was standing there naked showing him everything he dreamed of for the past several months? But not only that, the reality trumped all. My God, she’s perfect.

  “Should I put my clothes back on?” Her lashes fluttered and her movements turned jerky. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not—”

  He caught her wrist. “Stop.”

  She stilled and peeked up at him through glassy eyes.

  His chest tightened. “Why are you upset?”

  Her throat worked as s
he met his gaze. “No one’s ever seen me like this.” She looked down at her breasts, which were full and tipped in the palest pink. She was all smooth lines and flawless grace. “I don’t know how to act.”

  “Don’t act. Never act in front of me. You’re incredible.” He released her arm and stepped back. His throat was dry and his eyes could no longer afford to blink. He didn’t want to miss a single instant. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen—and there had been a lot. None compared.

  “Have a seat on the chair,” he rasped. She stepped to the chair and stilled when he said, “Wait!” Quickly grabbing a towel, he draped it over the seat. “It’s probably cold.”

  She nodded and sat sideways on the chair. He admired her body as she fidgeted, trying to find a place to rest her hands.

  “Here, turn like this…” Being careful to barely touch her, he directed her body. Her ankles remained close where her feet rested on the ground. Her spine curled as he pulled her forearms to the back of the chair. “Rest your cheek on your arms and relax.”

  He went to the floor and got situated. Her body twisted in a long line. His fingers scrambled for his charcoal and he drew the long line of her spine, curving out the slope of her ass. Throughout his life, he’d done a thousand sketches, but never had his heart raced so wildly as it did now. His fingers trembled as each dark shadow took shape on the canvas.

  His hand dragged over the page, his thumb sweeping over each line and blending it to life. Her eyes remained on him as he worked and soon he had her figure shaped. The peek of her nipple beneath her arm tipped out just beside the gentle slope of her ribs. She was utter perfection.

  Neither of them spoke as he worked and the longer he drew her, the longer his eyes combed over her body, the harder he got. When he was finally finished, he blew off the sprinkle of dark dust and shook out the paper. “Finished.”

  Her mouth formed a tight grin. “I don’t know if I want to see that one.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “No one really likes seeing themselves naked.”

  “You should. You’re lovely.”

  Her cheeks flushed beyond what they’d been in the past hour. She turned and demurely covered herself with the towel. Kelly stood and tucked the picture in his portfolio. “Will you stay here with me tonight?”